flower

hi! my name is flower. im pretty boring honestly idk why i felt the need to make this lmao.

im 18 and my pronouns are she/her! i’m writing a book called vespertine which you can check out! it’s a dreamnotfound fic but be warned it is very AU and doesnt really have much to do with the boys themselves. but nevertheless i would be happy if u checked it out:

read vespertine: the moon and his sun here.

that’s it i think. have a great day <3

novilunium was around the bend once again.

         somehow, helios had managed to (finally) get a handle on all of his duties as the solis. being the man in charge, as appealing as it did sound, was definitely not all that it appeared to be. well, actually it was, but it was also more. a lot more.

         being helios gave him great responsibility. to keep everyone in check, but to also keep himself in check. many planetae along the galaxy had solely relied on the lux and warmth of the sun to keep sustained. and without him to make it happen, there would most likely be no planetae to sustain in the first place. so, he better keep doing what he was.

         after much time in suspense and utmost patience (in helios’ expert opinion) he was more than ready to welcome the next novilunium in the wake. when he was younger, and the former helios was still the solis, the intervals didn’t really hold any weight on his conscience. but now, helios had a responsibility. and hopefully a new friend in the making, too.

         “what catches your thoughts, my love?” helios turned his head to his mother who had slowly made her way up to him from behind, placing her hand on his shoulder. she gripped it and then rubbed, forming soothing circles on the skin of his back. helios sighed, relaxing in his mother’s hold, before lifting his gaze to the caelum again.

         “do people ever leave the complexio, mother?”

         “they do, yes,” his mother said. “often they leave if they need something.”

         “do people ever leave just because they want to?”

         “yes and no,” she said, loosening her grip on his shoulder to stand beside him on the balcony. she leaned her weight on her hands as she placed them on the railing, leaning over to watch the caelum with her son. “sometimes people leave just because they feel like it. but it isn’t really encouraged.”

         “why not?”

         “because, we only know so much about the universum beyond, sunshine. there are so many potential dangers of the world that could injure or harm any stella, and it is just not a risk that we are prepared to take.” she reasoned, turning her gaze to focus on her son, who was blankly staring ahead of him with no focal direction. “but, if a stella decides their reason to leave is enough, it is their decision to do so.”

         helios’ eyes fixated on a gleaming calcis in the distance, roaming the nox with such a ferocity he almost mistook him for a rogue star. he stared for a long time.

        his mother watched him stare ahead, and of course as a mother, she knew exactly what this was about. “do you want to?”

        helios was brought back from his thoughts, confused. “what?”

         “do you want to go across?” she repeated.

           “i do,” helios said. “but anticuus said i couldn’t.”

         “and why not?“

         “because ‘it isn’t done’,” he mocked, scoffing back any further remarks. he was angry, but anticuus had always proved that he only wanted what was best for helios. so, in some messed up, annoying way, his ruling of the ‘no-leaving-the-complexio’ law must have been justified. “he didn’t tell me why, but probably because it is dangerous.”

         “it is dangerous, my love,” his mother agreed. “but sometimes the danger is worth it.”

         or maybe it wasn’t justified, because all of a sudden it seemed as though his mother was encouraging him to do something that apparently ‘wasn’t done’.

         “what?”

         his mother laughed, turning to face the castellum and leaning her back against the balcony railing. “leaving the protection of the militum is always dangerous. but sometimes the risk is worth it.”

        “are you saying i should go?”

         “i am not saying anything, dream. but if you really want to go across you will be okay. novilunium is the only safe time to cross the terminus as it is when the silex complexio is the closest. other times they are too far beyond reach. so if you want to go, you have to go now or wait until the next novilunium.”

         “helios! venustus!” his ears flitted from his mother’s voice to the drawl that was calling him. flickering his eyes from his companion, he turned them to where the voice was coming from. looking down, anticuus was standing on a cloud, just below them. he was huffing, most likely in a rush, and had that bloody scroll in his hand. “come, now. novilunium is on the horizon.”

         he perked up at this, his mother’s words ringing in the back of his brain. they would have to continue this conversation later.

.

it was just as beautiful as the last time.

        helios watched as orbis terrarum travelled further away to make room for the silex complexio. with every ticking interval, the moon grew larger and closer, glowing with such a bright intensity the stellae faded around him.

         he was anxious, nervous, apprehensive. tension building in his shoulders as the silex complexio grew closer and closer. he wasn’t sure why, novilunium happened every many intervals. it wasn’t an abnormal occurrence, so what was so different about this time?

         “you are nervous, my love.” venustus gripped her son on his shoulder, peering up at him through a gentle smile. “don’t be.”

         “i am not,” he said, pinching the skin on his elbow. “i am just… just—”

         “just, nervous.” she warbled, the pinch in her brows giving him an all-knowing look. “i know my son like the back of my hand. but do not be, my dream. you are fierce and strong.”

         “fierce and strong,” he mumbled, to himself more than anyone. he continued to softly chant to himself as a reminder that he most definitely was fierce and strong and most definitely not nervous. “fierce and strong, fierce and strong,” and his eyes rose from the ground to straight in front of him, where his next word got caught in his throat. “fier—” his breath hiccupped in his lungs, lost in the sea of the eyes before him.

         selene.

         he was standing this time, lanky in his build but not as tall as helios. his hair was messy, falling into several places but it complimented him well. his eyes were brown but they were brighter than the sky lit by helios’ lux, and his glow was pale, but somehow tender and warm. the boy was grinning, from ear to ear, excited to see helios again.

        he was nothing short of beautiful.

         helios grinned back, eyes and all. he had never wanted to meet a person more. his smile turned into one masking sadness, torn from the inside. how were they to ever meet? helios had never left the stella complexio before, he wasn’t even sure if it was safe, anticuus had ordered that it was’t even allowed—

         “do you want to go across?”

         helios tore his attention away from selene, glancing down at his mother once again, eyebrows knitted in tension.

         what?

         “what?” he voiced aloud. he seemed to be asking that a lot lately.

         “do you want to go across?” she repeated.

         he was honest. “yes.” and his mother gave him an all-knowing smile.

         “then go.”

         “what?” he repeated. his voice was swimming with uncertainty. he had never ever in his saeculum ever seen anyone leave the stella complexio. even after the talk with his mother, he wasn’t sure if she was being serious. “but, how would i do that?”

         venustus tittered, the laugh bubbling from deep within. her son was all cheek until it came to love. “just walk, my love. the stars will catch you.”

         “but, but– where’s anticuus?”

         “he’s rounding some rogue stellae. now, off you go.”

         “but anticuus said—”

         “anticuus isn’t here. now go.”

         so he turned back to face the regnum in the silex complexio, back to selene, who was still gazing at him with curiosity in his eyes. deciding that he was too eager to make a new friend, it was worth it to perhaps break a rule.

         and so he walked across the way.

         selene, noticing his departure from the stella complexio, followed him into the sky, leaving the deep blue that was home and to the fade, where the day met the night. he met helios on the horizon, looking up into his eyes, greener than the tropic ocean on the orbis terrarum.

         “hello, helios.” he breathed, voice lilting in a soft greeting. “it is an honour.”

         helios blushed, cheeks turning a soft pink. he bowed his head in response. “the honour is mine, selene.”

         selene looked immediately uncomfortable, and helios felt like an absolute idiot. “please, you don’t have to call me that.” the luna sighed. “i know it’s very feminine.”

         helios was confused. “but, it’s your name, is it not?”

         “well, yes, i suppose.” selene agreed, but still with hesitancy in his voice. “but i’m a boy, and the name is entirely feminine. i know some people don’t like boys with feminine attributes.”

         “i don’t think your name is feminine.” helios reasoned. “yes, your name is after your great ancestor who ruled before all else, and she was a female. but, she was almighty and powerful: not only did she have the greatest control over tempest, but she had the power to give people dreams. she was transcendent, and i would think it an honour to be named after someone so seraphic.”

         selene was taken aback. “i– i had never thought of it that way,” the boy was in shock, struck that anyone could possibly think that. it was common when he was younger to receive the teasing of other boys, he was appointed to be the next luna when he was quite young. it was difficult to make friends. “i suppose i have always been embarrassed. it was a foul point of mockery when i was young.”

         “it should not have been.” helios replied. “my mother is the strongest person i know. she raised me from the moment i became in this universe, and she will continue to be by me until my final lux burns. i owe all i am to her.” helios was confused as to why he received any ill treatment being appointed as luna. it was one of, if not the greatest title one could receive – being entrusted to lead the entire kingdom was not an easy job, but it was rewarding. and glorifying. “you are strong, selene. and your name only makes you stronger.”

          selene smiled, a blush tinting his own pale cheeks. “thank you, helios. i have only met you but i feel like i have known you since my own becoming.”

         helios had felt exactly the same. “perhaps in another life we were best friends.”

         selene grinned, a laugh bubbling from his throat. “perhaps in this one, we will be as well.”

          lost in conversation, the pair were startled from their bond when a voice trilled through the sky. “helios!” venustus called from behind him. “you must return. tempus continues forward.”

        growing sad, he turns his neck to shout behind him. “i am coming!” he replied, turning back to selene. “i must go, novilunium will end soon.”

         “okay, but before you go,” the boy stole his attention one last time. “i am the selene, that is what they call me,” helios took note of how he avoided referring to himself as selene. “but my mum called me george. what did yours call you?”

         george, hm? it was short and sweet, tranquil on the tongue with two soft consonants. “my mother called me dream.”

       “dream? wow,” the selene uttered. “that makes my name seem a little bland.”

         “my mother always told me that before me, the imperium was struggling with the loss of their former helios. they hoped all through time for a strong and just leader, and then i became. i was a miracle. a reverie, she tells me. a dream.”

         “well, i haven’t known you long,” george said, voice rendering with notable confidence. “but it appears she was right.”

         “dream!” helios’ mother called from across the way, rising in unnerve. “now, please.”

         “i must go,” he said with a soft smile, sadness ringing in his mumble.

         “well, it was lovely to make your acquaintance, helios.”

         “please,” dream waved his hand. “we are friends now. call me dream.”

         “well,” the selene sang, lifting his own hand in a handshake, waiting for helios’ reaction. “if i call you dream, you must call me george. after all, we are friends now.”

         helios lifted his own hand, meeting george’s palm in the middle, aligned with the line of the horizon, at the edge of day and night. between helios’ golden glow and the selene’s pale shine. “goodbye, george. i will see you next novilunium.”

after many suns and moons, helios found himself in the dawn of cieri, completely surrounded in the lux of the stella complexio. cieri, when orbis terrarum managed to wedge itself completely in the middle of the sun and moon, blocking both kingdoms from each other's view. when there was no chance of catching a glance of any calcis at all. when helios felt the most overwhelmed in his aura, the most trapped inside his light.

         he watched all the stars around him. and, even with all those around him working around the intervals, he still felt more alone than he had in a long, long time.

         helios had tucked himself between some clouds, peering down at the terra beneath him. although a lot of the time he could not see humans on the earth often (unless he focused, really, really well), when he did, they looked happy. overly content with themselves and with their lives. as if all they did every day wasn't the same thing over and over again: wake up, eat, work, eat, work, eat, sleep. they seemed to be a routinely group of people, and maybe they liked it that way. or maybe it was boring, and the only reason they looked happy was to mask the real way they were feeling. oh, humans, he would often think. how do you live the way you do? not that he had any room to comment, it's not like helios knew what he was doing either.

         but helios was so struck by another problem he had hardly any time to think about the tiny humans.

         he couldn't stop thinking about what anticuus had told him last novilunium. he also couldn't stop thinking about why it was such a big deal. novilunium was the absolute closest that the moon got to the sun, there was no immediate danger with travelling across the way, just a little bit. besides, it's not like he wanted to go beyond where any stellae had ever been. to explore the depths of the universe away from all his responsibilities. as desirable as it was, it was far more daunting. all he wanted was to, perhaps, introduce himself to selene.

         that was all he was able to think about, actually.

         and it didn't make sense, anticuus' worry. it's not like helios was irresponsible. in fact, he was sure he had proved himself to be anything but irresponsible throughout his saeculum. there was no valid reason as to why anticuus shouldn't trust him to be careful.

         what if he went anyway? what would he do? would selene even want to meet him? what if he had no interest anyway? he imagined what it would be like if he did. what he would say. after all, selene was technically his match in the silex complexio. they both had highly important roles in terms of responsibility. he didn't want him to think he was an idiot.

         he sighed, fisting a handful of clouds and tossing it into the caelum beneath him, watching it float towards the terra. whatever, anyway. it's not like he could do anything about it.

.

across the way, on the other side of orbis terrarum, the selene sat in a similar manner. sitting on the balcony of the palatium, back against a pillar and legs dangling from the edge. arms crossed and brows furrowed, he glumly glanced at a few young calx, their pale glow beaming as they chased each other amongst the clouds. full of youth, and absolutely carefree, he couldn't help but be jealous. they had not a duty in the world, when the selene was sitting here, brooding, because he had the entirety of the regnum on his shoulders.

         brooding, because there was one thing he wanted to do more than anything, and it seemed like the one thing he couldn't do.

         grumbling under his breath, he lets his head fall limp, bumping against the pillar behind him with a resounding thump. a man, fussing with a cloth and tending to the palatium behind him, was startled by the selene's short outburst. "what is the matter, child?" he asked, voice soft and lulling, but laced with control.

         the selene sighed, eyes fixated on the stars glowing from across the way, most of them blocked by orbis terrarum. "nothing." he breathed, a sharp inhale following, giving away his fib.

         paracletus stopped mid-wipe on the pillar he was polishing, pivoting on his foot to face the selene, arms crossed. he narrowed his brows, eyeing the boy who had his back to him. "young luna, i am old, but i am still sharp."

         the selene unfolded his arms, limply placing them on the railing he was sitting atop. "sorry, sir," he started, rolling his lips between his teeth. "i am just thinking." thinking was a loose term. he was doing a lot of thinking, yes, but he was definitely doing a lot more sooking.

         "hm," paracletus hummed, unfolding his arms and strolling closer to the boy. "about what?"

         "paracletus," the selene turned his head, his body following as he turned to give the older man his full attention. he readied himself to ask the very question that had been bothering him for many, many cycles. "why don't we ever cross the terminus?"

         paracletus was silent.

         it was only a matter of time before the question would arise. and now was apparently that time. after a few moments he responded. "why do you ask?"

         "i'm curious," the selene fiddled with his thumbs, growing small in himself. "the only knowledge i have about the stellae is what has been given to me. i have never even met a stella before."

         "well, it is not common that a calcis and a stella do meet." paracletus said, shuffling until he was just adjacent to the boy.

         "and why is that?"

         "...it's a long story, selene—"

         "please," the selene interrupted, lifting his hand to his forehead to rub his temple. "don't call me that."

         "why?" furrowing his brow, paracletus leaned against the railing the selene was situated on, turning his head in accusation. "are you not selene?"

         "i am," the selene mumbled. "but—"

         "then you should be proud to have that name." paracletus insisted. the selene grew silent, his head falling to face the ground once more, eyeing the young calx that continued to radiate softly in the dark.

         "i am," he coughed, not lifting his head. he sharply exhaled after, giving away his lie once more. but paracletus didn't comment on it.

         "good." paracletus stated, nodding his head stiffly.

         "now," the selene rushed. "can you please tell me why we never leave the silex complexio?" he was eager to have the story told. he wanted to know the reason why he couldn't do what he wanted to do more than anything.

         it took paracletus a moment to respond again. the selene assumed it was because he was thinking of what to say, but he wasn't sure if he was looking for correct phrasing, or if he really didn't know what to say at all. "it is dangerous," paracletus began. "here, in the palatium, we are under the protection of the custodum. here, we are safe and sound. but beyond the terminus, is a caelum that is entirely unknown to most of us. there could be dangers that are a threat to us, to you."

         "the stella complexio is dangerous?"

         "not the stella complexio, per se. but there are so many things about the universum that we do not quite understand. it is not exactly a risk we can undergo."

         "so no one has ever left the regnum?" the selene wondered. surely it was false that no one in the entire palatium had ever travelled beyond before.

         "now, that isn't quite true. some have left before—"

         "have you, paracletus?"

         "as a matter of fact, i have." paracletus confirmed, nodding his head. the selene perked up at this.

         "really?! what was it like?"

         "it was strange." the memory came rolling back like the last scenes on a film. "it was unlike anything i have ever done before. but it was also exhilarating, thrilling, an adventure of a lifetime."

         the selene cast his eyes on the stellae far, far away, twinkling in the distance. "was it really that nice?"

         "it was beautiful." paracletus sighed, following the selene's line of sight. the stellae were far, but they were still very, very bright. visible just after the caelum began to grow in a lighter blue, signifying day on the other side of the terra, where every lux was born, and where every lux burned away. it did look rather beautiful. which confused the selene more as to why it was so rare that people did leave.

         "then, why don't you now?" he asked, threading his fingers together on his lap. "do others?"

         "some do, but it's rare. and only when it's safe." he was going to ask.

         he knew the answer, but he had to. "can i?"

         "no." paracletus was quick to turn his request away. "it is way too dangerous." the selene exhaled, his exhaustion expelling through his mouth. well, it was worth a shot.

         "i can manage, paracletus—"

         "not on your own."

         "but, i am the selene. people will protect me—"

         "selene," he was stopped once again, and the selene kept quiet as he listened to his elder. "i know you are young, and i know being the luna is a new concept to you. but being selene comes with tremendous responsibility. you are powerful, in fact, the most powerful calcis in our entire regnum. you control the noctis, you give people peaceful sleeps and enchanting dreams. you illuminate the nox with a captivating glow. you are one of, if not, the most important member of our palatium, you must be protected under all circumstances.

         "you are the moon, and without you we all would be nothing."

         the selene was quiet. paracletus sighed.

         "george, you must understand. it is only for your protection."

         the selene huffed, hair falling in front of his eyes and head resting back against the pillar. there was no use arguing anymore.

         "i understand."

         he did understand, but he couldn't promise that he would abide.

.

unknowing of the conversation being held in another caelum, helios continued to gloom in his own misery of the cieri. being surrounded by his fellow lux had never felt so isolating.

         he was hoping that somehow anticuus would change his mind. that he would let helios travel across the way. not across the terminus, just to the edge, so he could see the silex complexio for all its glory. so he could introduce himself to selene, and perhaps make a new friend.

         "because it isn't done," he scoffed, folding his fingers behind his head. "an absolute mockery of me."

         he was angry, hurt, bewildered. he was the sun, anticuus liked to remind him often, but he couldn't be trusted to walk a few paces from the castellum? just to see what it was like: it's not like he wanted to move there.

         he was sure he was haunted by his elder, whose voice rang in his head like a haunted chant. he didn't even have to think of him and his voice began to scold in his head.

         "no."

         it sounded so real, it was almost like it—

         "no, no."

         —was.

         a shuffle of footsteps and the sudden appearance of a head brought helios' attention from his knees to the movement of people underneath him. he bent his knees to sit cross legged, to properly watch the scene unfold in front of him. beneath him in the grounds of the castellum, anticuus was walking frantically about, pacing and waving and waving and pacing. helios watched him squawk about to whoever he was talking to, who was still out of view. helios couldn't make out anything he was saying, unless he raised his voice slightly and the echo carried to where helios was situated, atop a cloud next to one of the castellum's balconies. he frowned, continuing to watch anticuus mouse around like an untamed puppy. then, the person he was arguing with had emerged from beneath the castellum balcony, out into the open and became visible to helios' eye: his mother.

         three guesses as to what they were talking about.

         helios knew that often his mother didn't approve of anticuus' teaching techniques. she had a lot of faith in her son, and apparently approved of him doing 'reckless' things more than anticuus did. helios had never really spoken about going across the way to anyone before, because it was never something that had really struck his attention. but things change, he guessed.

my name is flower !!!! i am quite boring but i do love me some writing :]

ive started writing a dnf book called ‘vespertine’, if ur in need of a new fic to read how about checking it out ! it’s available here on tumblr, also on wattpad and ao3 !! so whichever platform works best for you

tumblr: flowerwrites1

wattpad: floweriswriting

ao3: fizzypower

i don’t really have much to say but that lmao, i guess the only things to know about the book is that:

it’s an au

its very very, um, experimental lmfao

and its about the sun and the moon, which is pretty epic if i do say so myself

anyway i would love to see u there! have a good day i hope it’s wonderful <3

when the universe began its course, the ancestors of helios were just as golden as he was. sedulous, and perhaps inexorable, they were the sole reason for the success in the nature of the cosmos. he had heard about them in abundance, due to the endless marvel that there was for their existence. and maybe, just maybe, because the same was expected of him, too.

         saeculum was an easy enough concept to grasp, however, in terms of responsibility: those odds were still pretty high. all members of the stella complexio had their own responsibilities, working throughout day, swift and strict. yet he had the weight of a thousand stars lying on his conscience.

         but those stars knew helios was as golden as his ancestors, so the die was cast and the pendulum had swung.

         beneath the name he was given, helios was awfully new at his work. just a glowing trick, he was a lux that had yet to reach its full potential. they say that the youngest spirit was the brightest spirit, and somehow that made clarity as to why he was so entrusted.

         in a way he owed it all to his mother, who he was quite sure that without her guidance he would be nothing but a mere waste of space. a lux that burned out too quickly and would never reach its full potential. she was a gem, she was, everyone loved her. she had golden hair and a golden smile, both of which she passed on to helios. she was bright and she was stubborn. but most of all, she was beautiful. the most beautiful woman in the entire kingdom.

         and he probably owed a lot to anticuus, as well. a man who was wise, and had been around as long as anyone could remember. he was always busy, always fussing about to make sure everything was perfect. helios never understood what his issue about that was. but he kept everyone in check, and made sure helios did his job properly, so maybe all the fussing he did was worth it.

         as tempus proceeded, helios' duties were getting easier to handle, as easy as they would get, he guessed. but there was also a sense of glory that stood in front of his name. a shining plaque that said look at me, i did this which was only half true.

         after all, helios only really did half the work.

         as another interval ticked behind him, he focused his eyes on the life beneath him. a swirl of green and blue hidden behind a few splintered clouds. and if he looked close enough, he could see the small specks of muscle that crawled along land. right below him was a farm, a small wooden enclosure trapping a handful of cows and one adjacent, trapping the same amount of sheep. a human with a weird looking hat was nearby, sifting through large piles of yellow straw, whatever that was.

         humans were weird.

         as another interval rung behind him, the farm travelled further away and a large space of open land greeted him. full of sheep and goats, roaming free, snorting and splashing. happy. not trapped in a cage or whatever that was earlier. helios didn't understand the need for the enclosures, but then again helios didn't understand the need for a lot of what humans did. tiny, putrid humans. maybe they had nothing else to do.

         soon, the paddock drifted behind him, and he was now glaring down at a dirt road. a road which led to nowhere. it lead nowhere for many intervals, until it led to a darker road, which led to a city.

         ah, civilisation.

         the over excessive amount of concrete and loud noises, by far helios' least favourite place to monitor. but everyone needed him, so he did it anyway. besides, maybe they had good reasons for destroying so much nature.

         sighing loudly, he tore his gaze from orbis terrarum back to the sky, lit with his youthful lux. he wondered what it would be like to visit the terra one day. as beautiful and expansive as it was, he was sure nothing was quite as beautiful as the stella complexio. it was warm and it was golden. and it was home.

         in a split second, a voice broke him from his thoughts as it came barreling from behind him. "—behind schedule, perhaps our intervals have unaligned with tempus—" it was anticuus.

         "how can you be so sure?" that voice was his mother's. skeptical, on edge, and perhaps laced with a little ridicule. it seemed that whatever was going on, she didn't see it as an issue. helios turned his head behind him, to be faced with his mother looking up at anticuus, half a head taller than she was, with an eyebrow raised and a hip jutted.

         "we haven't been wrong for a long time, venustus." anticuus shook his head, fumbling with his checklist. helios cannot remember a time he saw him without it.

         "but it's possible we are now?" his mother reasoned, shrugging her shoulders.

         "mother? anticuus?" helios asked, timid, interrupting their squaffle. "what's happened?"

         anticuus pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose before huffing loudly. "son," he said. "it appears novilunium has come early."

-

and lo, the panic and havoc of the novilunium on the horizon.

         helios followed his mother as she weaved through tensed members of the stella complexio. although taller than her, she was far better at dodging people than he was. he picked up his speed in an attempt to catch up, only to step on the foot of another, muttering an apology to the male who waved him off with a quick smile. turning back to his mother, he dodged the last cluster of people before catching her tail.

         "why is everyone so panicked, mother?" he asked, confusion lacing his voice. this was his first novilunium as the helios. "so novilunium came early this tempus, why is everyone so anxious?"

         "my love, no one is anxious." she said, smooth and collected. "we are just frustrated. you know how big of a responsibility we have, we like to be prepared. and you know what anticuus is like, everything has to be perfect."

         "oh," he mumbled, pinching the skin on his elbow. "should i be frustrated, too?"

         "you are not?"

         "no, not really," he said, before deciding that it was probably the wrong answer. "i mean, yes, i am, terribly—"

         "my dream, you are new at this, i know. but you have the biggest responsibility of all." she paused, turning to look at him. she gave him a big smile, teeth and all, and she looked like sunshine. "it must always be your top priority to have pride in all the work that you do. you give life, you sustain life, you take life. you are the sun, and without you we all would be nothing."

         he moved his eyes from her face, to the grip she had on his shoulder. turning back to face her, he smiled softly. "yes, mother. i will."

         "then come, son." she said, nudging him forward. "you have to get back to work."

         they turn the corner to see anticuus, fiddling through his scroll with a quill. hearing the ruffling of footsteps, he peaked up through his spectacles to glance at them. "ah, helios," he greeted. "you are here, brilliant. just in time, novilunium is upon us."

         helios turned to look through the clouds, past the curve of orbis terrarum and beyond the lux, where the sky's bright nature froze into a deep blue. beyond the comfort he knew, into an unknown that he has never known, and will never know: the tenebris.

         amidst the dark hues, suddenly a glow began to emerge beyond the terra's plains. it was pale and milky, contrasting to the dark hues of the nox. illuminating around marks and craters, helios watched as the silex complexio grew larger and larger in front of him, until the entire curve of the entity had emerged from behind earth. mouth opened in internal awe, he was fixated on the beauty in front of him.

         there she was. the moon.

         it was something he always knew about, but something he could never visit. helios could only dream of going there, it was always too far away to be reached by anyone in the imperium. always, unless during novilunium. when the sun and the moon met face to face, without the barrier of the earth. when they could stop in time and look at each other, stare, without anything getting in the way.

         "here they come," anticuus called, rounding everyone. helios stuck at his post, beside his mother. he watched as the silex regnum grew within eyes reach, and he could see calcis after calcis within their posts.

         but, one particular calcis caught his eye.

         his hair was fluffy, swished in every which way, surely due to stressed hands pushing tufts wayward. his cheeks were a delicate pale that accentuated his cheekbones and jaw, chiselled and defined. he eyes were a dark shade of brown, with a small glow due to the moon's shine. he was sitting cross-legged, most likely bored, or tired. and helios could imagine that he was, because there was only one person he could be as he sat at his post. his post, which happened to be exactly the same as his own.

         selene.

         the boy lifted his eyes from beneath him, straight into helios' own, gauging deep into his soul. helios froze, unsure how to react. but he didn't want to look away. the sun and the moon were now aligned, and the boy, even sitting cross-legged, could now gaze directly at helios' face. they stared at each other for five, six, seven moments before a tap on the boy's shoulder tore his attention away, a man standing behind him. helios took the sudden break of attention to turn to his mother, who was busy squabbling with anticuus, once again.

         "mother! mother, look."

         his mother tilted her head mid-sentence, before making her way to her son. "hm?"

         "look!" he loosely nudged his head in the direction of the boy, who was still busy conversing with the man. "the luna. it's a boy."

         his mother tittered, raising her voice in a soft lilt. "why, yes. it is."

         "but, how?"

         "my love," she cupped his hair, twirling a few strands through her fingers. "who said selene had to be a girl?"

         "but," what? but that's, that was how it always was. for as long as helios could remember, he was taught that selene would always be like her predecessor, just the same as helios. at least, that is what anticuus had told him. "but, it's— it's written in the stars–"

         "and the moon isn't a star." venustus interrupted him with a tone of teasing, eyebrow raised.

         and she was right. the moon was a rock. a piece of sedimented rock that gravited around orbis terrarum. it definitely wasn't a star, but it glowed like one. the sun was golden and the moon was pale, but the moon glowed as bright as the sun did.

         his mother shot him another all-knowing smile. "he's not a girl, but he's pretty, isn't he?"

         he blushed, smiling to himself. his mother was probably the smartest stella he ever came across. and it definitely wasn't bias.

         soon, across the way, the man left the boy alone, and he turned back to helios. catching his eye again, selene seemed to keep staring at him, enthralled in a similar way helios was.

         he still had so much curiosity. selene was new, and also a boy. he was also pale, and glowing, but he was also the most beautiful creature helios had ever seen. deciding to smile now, before it was too late, he sent a small smile to the boy, no teeth but all cheek. in a matter of seconds, selene responded with a large grin, all teeth and all cheek, and all eyes too.

         the sun and moon were close to parting ways now, but helios wasn't so sure if he was ready to say goodbye. he needed to think of something, quick.

         he had heard of people leaving he complexio before. it was rare, but it did happen. it was dangerous to leave the protection of the militum. there was so much of the universe that was not understood by stellae, he was taught it was not worth the risk of leaving home. he wondered if he would take the risk right now.

         is it worth it? helios thought. i think it's worth it.

         so, he took a few steps forward, leaving the courtyard and treading on cloud after cloud until he reached the edge. selene noticed his movements and perked up, pushing his hands on the ground as if to heave himself up. helios jolted at this, even more eager to go across. but before he can will himself, he eyed the very phenomenon that continued to intimidate all stellae.

         the terminus.

         bold in its contrast, the very blend of colours that separated day and night. beyond the terminus the sky grew dark, such a deep blue helios couldn't see past his own very hands. so deep he wasn't sure how the calx were so visible in such a dark place.

         fierce and strong, fierce and strong, he thought. it's now or never.

         so he readied himself, lifting one foot into the air, ready to step off the cloud and into the sky, before a hand catches his shoulder and tugs him back. the air is knocked out of his chest as he is shoved back onto the cloud. he watched selene pull back into himself, growing sad eyes and a small frown. helios grew confused, turning to face the culprit of the sudden attack, only to be met by anticuus with a growing scowl on his face.

         "you cannot go any further, helios."

         ah, he saw this one coming. but nevertheless, he was still absolutely gutted.

         "i just want to visit the silex complexio before they leave."

         "i know," anticuus replied, pulling his hand back to himself and pushing his glasses back up his nose. "but you cannot. i will not allow it."

         "will i get hurt?" helios asked, now facing anticuus, but turning his head back in the direction of selene. selene looked glumly forward, staring at helios as he argued with his elder.

         "no."

         his eyebrows knotted, turning back to anticuus and he let out a confused noise. "i won't get hurt?"

         "no, of course not," anticuus replied as if it was obvious. "they would not lay a hand on you if you cursed their entire regnum. you are the sun."

         that part made sense. but what didn't make sense was why helios was still here and not halfway across the caelum right now. "then why not?" he asked.

         it seemed as though anticuus was racking his brain for the right words to say. something that wouldn't upset helios, or scare him off either. words that wouldn't make him feel guilty, or escalate his desire to go across. it took him a few moments to reply.

         "because it isn't done."

         he whispered goodbye as selene disappeared from view, and he hoped his eyes said the same. he turned back to anticuus who looked at him with an all-knowing gaze, urging helios to follow him back into the castellum. he sighed, turning back to follow, walking back up the stairs only to turn around once more and watch the moon glide further and further away, until it was merely a dot disappearing around the orbis terrarum.

for thousands of years, the universe beamed in euphony and tranquility. there was both warm and cold and both dark and light, depending on where you were. its vicinity was unknown, such a vast place with unbounded offerings. its legacy was what one would call a twisted tale: there were many contortions along the way, that some would argue made it special.

somewhere, between the night and day, lay two kingdoms. both of which were highly regarded, and possibly the two most well-known places of them all, but not much was actually known about them. the kingdoms were well-acquainted for the most part. they respected each other, and had their formalities every so often when they met. the rest of the universe knew them not as kingdoms, in fact, but rather as astronomical bodies, which, in a sense, they were.

specifically, down on orbis terrarum, they were known as the sun and the moon. technically, that was correct, but there was more to it. they were each a system – a complexio is what they were called, and both worked in similar ways.

since the beginning, both the sun and the moon were ruled by one each. they were known as helios and selene respectively, and they were known to have all power beyond comprehension. this was up for interpretation, honestly – it depended on the ruler.

as far as it goes, the current helios would argue his power was not all that special. it was definitely him, too – he figured he didn’t know much about what it meant to be a great ruler. although he was well-respected, and was told time after time that he was a great ruler, he believed with his hand on his heart that he was most definitely not the person for the job. not that that was going to change anything, anyway.

the stella imperium was home to helios. he resided within the walls of the castellum, spending his entire life unknowing of what lied beyond the complexio. the terminus was a line he had never crossed. it was not allowed: there were too many dangers without the care of the guardsmen. he had only heard tales of what was beyond, beyond the light of day and into the darkness. he had never even seen a calcis until he began his helios duties. much of the same was for selene, who spent his life within the realm of the silex regnum. he had never crossed the terminus, either, and for the most part he never had the desire to.

life was simple. it consisted of duties for both rulers within their saeculum and a few misbehaviours here and there. there was no outburst from either of them, because life was fulfilling the way it was.

until it wasn’t.

by the hands of time and destiny, helios and selene met. they caught sight from opposite sides of the terminus, one beaming in light and the other encompassed in darkness. from that day forward they both wanted only one thing: to be together.

but alas, the universe is cruel. because the two souls who wished for each other’s presence lived in two different worlds. worlds that they did not know, and by the nature of their lives, perhaps would never know.

the legend of the universe tells a tale of two lovers, one of stellae and one of calx. who, by destiny, would fall in love regardless of their restraints.

the sun was golden and the moon was pale.

contrasting colours on a paint palette. the opposite sides of a tightrope. two entities that could never coincide. 

but somehow the moon was a sickeningly sweet song mixed with tenderness and temptation. a flower of rose, barricaded by sharp thorns.

an anomaly at most.

table of contents

vespertine

prologue

chapter i

chapter ii

chapter iii

“perhaps in another life we were best friends.”

selene grinned, a laugh bubbling from his throat. “perhaps in this one, we will be as well.”

in which the sun is golden and the moon is pale, and the universe is just a little too cruel.

chapter list

dreamnotfound | 2021