My apologies in advance, I never did a blog before and I am not sure how exactly it works, but I would like to try it as a diary to observe my own progress on fixing my flaws and maybe there is the one or other person who also acknowledges the need to work on themselves, un that case we could even work on ourselves together.
I've been paying attention to some flaws of mine, which is better if I work on. Imma list them real quick:
First of all, I am very lazy and I can hardly bring myself to study or do anything else that requires slight effort, even during conversations I am very lazy.
I am a people-pleaser, I cannot really say no to anyone and I have trouble even acknowledging my own needs.
I have social anxiety and have troubles being calm when being around many people which I don't know.
I really lack confidence, in fact I am even expecting myself to do things wrong.
I have serious communication issues. I lack empathy and understanding, I am inconsiderate, self-centered and closed-minded.
Some of them might also be part of because of Asperger's Syndrom that I have, but that's no excuse to not even try to get better.
Here is a devils-circle of some of my problems and what they end up:
1. Someone wants to talk with me about something, either I don't want to or I cannot really do it at the moment, but I don't want to hurt them, so I do it anyway.
2. The fact that I am not into it is visible in my short low-quality answers and the other person figures that I am not invested.
3. I end up not only ruining their mood, but also hurting them more than I would have with a simple "no".
In any ways, I want to try again to improve myself with a diary that anyone can read, maybe it can even hep to convince a reader to do the same and we could motivate each other.
Although it lies in a possible future, which isn't certain. Let's find out.
