In Life Only Tea Time Is Certain @florenceandthejane - Tumblr Blog

#i forgot about shark tank #was confused for a moment 🤏

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ryebreadgf

captmelbourne

parkchanwoohoo

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

40ouncesandamule

Orcas are known to be smart and ruthless hunters. They've been observed hunting a variety of prey, with some species, such as whales, larger

I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Jackass

Yup

Yes

"listen to your body"

my body: go get a cinnamon roll the size of a tire

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megamindsupremacy

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

damndorothea

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

#worked 9-5 #then went to 2 Fringe festival shows

jewish-joy

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

hangsawoman

on this day in 1953 shirley jackson sent this to an unhappy reader

depsidase

gloryofdawn

I don't think there's a single nation with more right to this proverb than Haiti

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viinas

when barry the chopper was like "i love her" and i was like "bro same"

blanq

tumblr glitched and now there’s just a guy in the void

daughter-of-prospero

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

vintageandroid

i made a post like this before but I can't find it now. so. I'll just redo it.

What's the first "big news story" you remember from when you were a kid?

It's something I love to ask mixed-aged groups sometimes because I think it's really interesting to see the responses. I've gotten answers from the Olympics of [whatever year] to Watergate to more recent stuff from my niblings.

My first news thing I remember is the OJ Simpson trial. I vaguely remember watching the news with my grandparents before that, but that's the first story I remember, in part because my second grade teacher had us go play so she could watch the verdict 😂

absolutelynotclassicusernam-blog

I remember walking down the street and seeing a sign protesting George W. Bush’s war on Iraq, so I think that.

headspace-hotel

I don't know about a news story, but my first "political" memory was something about the torture memos

#9/11 probably #i remember the pictures in the newspaper and a school assembly #would've been 6

importantcatpics

shocotate

I broke a ramune bottle to get the marble out for my dragon.

wickedwonderlandd

The dragons face never changes, but I still feel like he looks happier in the 2nd pic 🥺

wizard-council-bureaucrat

The orb delights him

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depsidase