麥月明

I wouldn’t say it’s your fault for letting your insecurities get to you. Art is just one of those things where everyone is always going to have some bs opinion of where you’re at, what you should be doing, etc. because it’s culturally seen as some sort of devotion to the “lifestyle” rather than a job or a skill that requires labour, study, and enthusiasm if you want to improve in specific ways. It definitely feels like a lot of pressure, but idk, ever since I started getting a deeper handle on our material conditions (capitalism + white supremacy) I’ve come to the conclusion that it is actually okay that I wasn’t as good as my peers – I didn’t have the financial support, I worked all the time, I was experiencing many crisis’s during my undergrad, etc plus I was couchsurfing for half a semester when I probably should’ve saved myself the grief and dropped out or taken a break! I was way too burned out post-grad to be “on the grind” the same way that some of my peers with more stability were able too. I definitely struggled a lot in comparison to some of my peers. I can’t be hard on myself and neither should you. Also if you happen to be queer or BIPOC or just found yourself on the margins somehow, one of my older artist friends told me that a lot of us feel the need to accomplish shit at an earlier age so we don’t slip through the cracks and we can get our work out there for some sort of credibility because we aren’t sure when we won’t be able to do it anymore.

Just be patient with yourself if you feel like you’re playing catch up. Put your work out there, and when you have a couple of decent pieces, start querying people and submitting to shit that pays. I don’t know exactly what kind of work you want to do, but find like 5 pros in your country/city who are doing work you want to be doing, figure out or ask about how they started out (Most artists are pretty nice about this as long as your not entitled and not an asshole). The internet is so great for cyberstalking professional artist’s CVs lol one time I queried a magazine after one of my friends got a gig with them because I knew our work was at a similar level. Find other artists and mentors to be in community with that you can ask advice from, take your time and grow your confidence while doing what you need to do to service your art. Emphasis on the art friends, you will be able to struggle with each other and share info, etc. Join resource and support networks that post opportunities, find crit spaces to get feedback (and figure out the feedback you’re looking for!) Your work doesn’t need to be “good” it just needs to look “finished” and “presentable”. There are so many illustrators and cartoonist who are honestly shit at drawing, but they’ve built a solid atmosphere and artistic voice.

I would say it’s pretty unrealistic to just drop everything and pursue being a full time artist because you have the “drive” it’s pretty difficult for even the uber talented professionals. There's also other things to look at like do you want to start a family, can you be organized enough to retire, do your skills and available opportunities match the lifestyle you want, etc etc. Be in service to yourself first, next start to enjoy drawing, and then start pursuing your goals until you’re able to support yourself with the work. If you can’t find success due to whatever barriers you have, it’s not your fault. do what you need to do to service the work you want to make even if that means working other jobs or even fucking around! we can not rely on specific path that others expect of us. (BTW 26 is sooo not old) Take opportunities that serve you, your community, and think about who you want to be as an artist. And while you do that, make sure to invest in friendships, happiness, and love. For me, I want to nurture my friendships and be in service to other people like me and I want my practice to reflect that. (I've said no to a 4k mural gig because it was for a gentrification condo project that was displacing families and other locals. I am also anti n*f*t and will never accept cry*pto money). Most people have things they want to say and drawing is such a perfect way to do that. I wouldn’t let low career prospects deter you from getting into drawing. Sometimes we can even make opportunities for ourselves! I am only just starting to get back into my art practice after drawing anime boys for the past 2 years. It’s exciting and I’m being patient with myself and making sure to not be hard on myself when I am met with failure.