flimsy

Insecurity is a vicious cycle. Born of cruel comparison, perpetuated by brutal desperation and looped by the remaining fact that it’s harder to change yourself than to remain how the spirits made you. It’s dark, merciless, almost predatory…

…and feels far too heavy on your mind for the brightness of Kyoshi Island.

Under your feet, the lush foliage blends into sand, waves lapping at the golden ground only a couple of metres to your left. On the other side of you, the wild forest reaches into the cloudless sky–tall, imposing, alike Kyoshi herself. Yet, it’s the life within it that makes the Island thrive: the people, the warriors, the animals, down to the rodents. Everything on this island is too vibrant for these doubts.

Still, you’re spiralling.

“It has always been ugly.” You scoff, frustrated. “It makes all of my face disconjointed, throws all of my features out of whack, I’m telling you.” You give Suki a sidelong glance. “Don’t you see it?”

Walking beside you across the beach, Suki gently shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips. Her face is finally bare of makeup after a long day of vigorous training, now replaced by her natural features and that fond look she always gets in her eyes when you’re near and she’s feeling soft.

“I don’t see it.” She responds plainly. “I think you’re beautiful.”

Even though her words don’t stumble or shake, there’s another ugly side to insecurity that is often overlooked: how much it ignores persuasion. And right now, that side is rearing its head.

“That’s such a lie.” You disagree with a frown. “It makes me look like a stain.”

“It does not.”

“But it does.” You rebuttal, eyes widening as you turn to face her properly, stopping you both in your tracks. “It’s so exaggerated, unbalanced, weird. If I could just tweak it, then I’d actually look right. I mean, it must be the first thing everyone sees when they look at me. Right? It- it makes me look so weird and so ugl–”

Before you can even finish your word, you’re interrupted by the press of Suki’s lips against yours, immediately cutting off any further insults.

Any self-loathing thoughts instantly dissipate at the surprise of her lips against yours, the softness immediately easing your mind. She doesn’t hesitate, pressing against you with so much tender insistence that you find your body slowly melting against hers. Your arms slide around her neck, her hands following and snaking around your waist.

It’s only after a long moment of gentle kissing that she moves away, only slightly to where her breath brushes against your lips. “Stop speaking nonsense.” She reprimands, though her voice remains gentle and a small smile crosses her face. “You’re gorgeous, darling.”

With that, she presses her lips against yours once more, soft but with so much affection that it’s more reassuring than anything.

For a moment, it’s as if your insecurity is minimal, not a fault or a stain, but just a part of you that is–without dispute, without disdain nor any of the cruelty that exists within that insecure, vicious cycle.

Maybe that’s how it’s always supposed to be, perhaps it should normally be easier to get this calm. Yet, somehow, being in Suki’s arms doesn’t make it feel like a challenge, but rather, something more approachable, something achievable.

After a few more moments of gentle affection, she finally pulls away from you, though keeps her arms around you. Her eyes slowly open, still fond, still soft but now with a tinge of concern that scans your face, as though she’s unsure of what she just did.

But, before she can pull away, you tighten your grip to pull her into a hug. “Thank you.” You murmur against her shoulder. “Seriously.”

The tension in Suki’s shoulders subtly eases at your words, her arms tightening around you in return. “Always.”

It may seem like a simple, singular word, but to you, it’s a promise; a promise to always be with you, to soften the weight of your insecurities, to always remind you of your beauty. It’s so much, packed in with a pretty face and a sealing kiss.

You can’t help but sigh against her, finally pulling back. “I’m sorry about… that. I shouldn’t put all of it on you or ranted about it so openly.”

Suki’s arm slides around your waist, pulling you into her side as she gently directs you to continue strolling alongside her. “Don’t apologise. I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me how you feel.” She smiles mischievously. “Even if you’re blind.”

“I am not!”

She laughs. “You are. You’re so pretty, I don’t know how you can’t see it!”

Turning your head away from her, you can feel the heat rising unapologetically to your cheeks. “It looks bad, Suki!” You insist.

Suki sighs fondly. “We’ll work on that.” She reassures, gently bumping her hip to yours. “But I promise you, darling,” You meet her eyes shyly. “It does not look bad. Not when it’s part of you.”

AANG:

• Aang would understand it with the upmost seriousness.

• Even growing up, his love never existed within small displays or subtle touches. It showed through his bright enthusiasm, his protectiveness, the way he lights up with laughter and happiness around those he loves. His love is always unforgivingly clear through how the presence of his loved ones motivates him, makes him stronger, shows how human he can be while being a powerful Avatar, all the same.

• You’d see it when he’s crushing on you–how he blushes and flusters when you simply look cute, how he’d jump to please you, the way he not-so-subtly compliments you. It’d be so blatantly obvious, even if you’re shy or if you try to brush it off.

• So, when your relationship first begins, he reaches for you so happily that it only makes you feel more guilty when you jump with panic at the brush of his skin against yours.

• Though, he apologises faster than you can, immediately placating your guilt with soft words and reassurances that speak deeper than mere comfort. You’re instantly reassured that there is no pressure from him, no expectation, you don’t even have to explain yourself.

• Instead, he seamlessly re-directs his optimism to other types of affection.

• He’d so openly and loudly compliment you, making it known to everyone that he’s entirely awed by you. He’d show you private things, using his airbending to take you places usually reserved for only him, Momo and Appa, but now opened up to you because you’re so special to him. He’d be vulnerable with you, expressing his deepest struggles and hopes, letting you in where no else has been.

• It’d be more loving than anything else. Even without touch, you love him on a deeper level than anyone, you see what no one else does, you become the center of Aang’s world.

• It only makes it more special when you finally get comfortable to initiate touch. Every touch shows how far you’ve both come, each hug a show of your deep trust, everytime you hold hands it feels as though he’s proving how much you mean to him.

• And to a man who’s constantly faced with the worst of his world, it means more to him than anything.

KATARA:

• Out of everyone, Katara understands the most.

• For her, she’s never been an heavily affectionate person and her healing abilities only exacerbated that. She gradually became used to the ghostly cold skin of people on the brink of death, the slight tremble of someone who’s hurt, the feeling of pain under her fingers.

• It made touch something that walked a thin tightrope in her mind, something that could go from comforting to a reminder of every single anguished face she’s ever seen.

• So, when she first brushes against you and you instantly pull away with a panicked look in your eyes, she immediately backs away. Her eyes wouldn’t be confused nor judgemental, just soft and acknowledging in a way that speaks no expectation.

• She doesn’t push you to touch, doesn’t even pry for an explanation as to why you avoid it unless if you want to explain. Rather, she kindly lets you know that it’s okay and continues on normally, as if to affirm that it is.

• After all, she doesn’t see any reason to question you when it’s your feelings. She understands full well how it feels to be brushed off, she would never do it to you.

• Instead, her love speaks through her loving words, the time you spend together, the way you take care of one another. It exists in the smiles you both share when no one’s looking, how you in-tune you become without realising it, the times you notice things about the other that no one else does. She loves your smile, how you dress, how you simply exist in the world, no strings attached.

• Katara’s love lives as openly and free as the water she controls, entirely accepting of your boundaries as though it were just something that was, not something to navigate.

• Though, when you get more comfortable with affections, she melts into you as if it were there the whole time because, for Katara, the unphysical love meant all the same. She’d come to treasure every brush of your hand against hers, your hugs, the simply affections that mean so much more because it means there’s palpable trust attached to it.

SOKKA:

• As opposed to what might be an easy assumption of him, Sokka would instantly be so accommodating of you.

• While many people may overlook it in favour of his goofy comedy, Sokka has grown up taking care of people. He raised Katara as much as she raised him, together they fished to provide for their tribe, he’s always been motivated by making the world better for people, regardless of if he knows them or not.

• Hence, before he’s ever even tried to initiate touch, he’s checking in with you while you’re both hanging out for the first time.

• “So… what do you like, pretty person?”

• Perhaps you’re thrown off guard initially, maybe you only briefly mention your aversion to touch, but he’s taking in every word as seriously as he can.

• Instead, he’d indulge in your interests as much as possible, encouraging you in every other way he can and only attempting touch if it were something as easy as a high five or bumping his shoulder against yours. In no way does he push your boundaries.

• You quickly realise that he holds no expectations of you. There is no pressure to be affectionate with him, no attempts to speed the process up, if anything, he merely seems to need your presence, your approval and your laughter to please him.

• And when you begin to reach for him, he eagerly meets you halfway. It’d be exciting to him, a relieving sign that he’d done right by you for you to trust him now.

• So, if anyone tried to judge you? He’d give them a very stern talking to and send them walking the other way, because, for Sokka, his love doesn’t thrive by pushing for what might be expected, it thrives alongside your happiness and wellbeing. That’s the most important thing to him.

SUKI:

• Suki understands so easily that it’s almost disconcerting.

• For her, a true connection with another person is something that goes beyond the physical world. It’s a respect that embeds in your heart, puts you on the same wavelength, is what makes you understand another person, better than they understand themself. It’s a love that brings her so close to her Kiyoshi sisters, Avatar Kyoshi herself and, now, you as well.

• It’s that kind of love that isn’t something that needs to be proved to mean something to her, it just needs to exist for what it is as purely as it can. And that’s what makes understanding your aversion to touch so easy.

• The first time she’d try to initiate touch, it’d be something casual, the only meaning being in the newness of your relationship where there is little expectation, only hope. So, when your breath audibly catches at her touch and a disturbed look catches in your eye, the only emotion that crosses her mind is guilt.

• She’d back away, a frown on her lips at the sheer thought of discomforting you, even unintentionally, even when you’re looking at her as if you need to apologise. Then, she’d reassure you and affirm that this doesn’t change anything to her, she just wants to make sure you feel safe and she wants to understand how you feel.

• From that, your relationship would feel stronger than it had before. Her voice would soften merely at the sight of you, her whole, poised demeanour being able to relax in your presence. She’d love what you love, your motivations, your hopes, what you miss, what you want. It’d be written through her every action: how she cares for you, subtly protects your image, puts your feelings above her own.

• Even without any physical affection, Suki’s connection with you would be so entirely warm that it’s unmistakable to everyone around you.

• So when you begin to hold onto her and reach for her affections, it’d only affirm that, making your trust so whole that it becomes she could never lose, an integral part to her being. She’d ease into your touches in return, holding you so gently that you can’t help but relax into it, the comfort of your love for her easing the discomforts of before.

TOPH:

• Initially, Toph is thrown off her game.

• As embarrassing as some people may think it is, she has a habit of clinging to the people she’s attracted to–her arms around their biceps, leaning her head against them, any excuse to get close. For her, it’s an innocent way to see someone past their voice and the silhouette conjured by her senses; perhaps to affirm or deny her delusion by how they feel.

• And if anyone pried, would she blame it on her blindness? Hell yeah.

• But, when you first jolt at her touch, it immediately throws her off. She hears how your heart jumps in your chest, hears the tinge of discomfort in your voice, even when you’re apologising. Her senses pick up on every single micro-reaction immediately and she quickly deciphers that she can’t brush this off as much as you’re trying to.

• So, she won’t point it out or announce it, she just stops initiating physical touch, a silent accommodation to how you feel.

• Instead, her love for you blooms through other means. She’d go on walks with you, pick up flowers for you while hoping they aren’t ugly, talk to you about everything and anything. Your relationship begins to grow, not because of appearances nor affection, but through everything that makes you, you.

• Toph comes to love your voice, how it lilts when you smile, how it darkens when you’re sad. She comes to love your small mannerisms, if you stutter, if you speak quickly or slowly, what you gasp at or when you stay quiet. Toph sees you through your interests, what you love, what you hate, how your interpretation of the world differs to her own.

• Some people may define it as ‘love from afar’, but, even without sight, Toph feels closer to you than she has with anyone else.

• And when you finally get more comfortable and begin to initiate touch, she takes it entirely at your pace. She doesn’t shy away when you reach for her at all, won’t comment on it unless if you ask her to, she even flusters at your affections even though you’d been together for months by that point.

• Toph may perceive the world through touch, but her love for you manages to grow beyond that because her love doesn’t exist within the confines of what she feels, it lives deeper inside of her.

ZUKO:

• At first, it makes Zuko nervous.

• With the way he grew up, love has never been a solid concept to him. It was never tied to a specific place, action or any particular thing. It was shown through his mother, though he’d lost her too early for him to fully grasp it. It was then shown through Uncle Iroh, yet Zuko had only realised it too late.

• He has never had the chance to gain a full understanding of what it means to love and be loved with no strings attached, and that extends to his understanding of affection.

• So, when you first pull away from his touch to itch at where he’d been reaching for you, his mind can only jump to conclusions. Was it a coincidence or a fault? Did he do something? What did he do?

• He’d tentatively try to initiate touch on a few more occasions following, not out of ignorance but purely because he isn’t sure of himself nor how to make sure your relationship right. It’d be small, gentle actions–tentatively reaching for your hand, subtly brushing against you–but it’s when your discomfort only grows with each action that he begins to realise what’s going on.

• Though, I think he’d only properly ask you about it on a quiet occasion. Perhaps when the moon is high in the sky and the only noises around you both were the rustling of trees and the sound of the other’s breathing. He’d be tentative, nervous, unsure if he’s doing right by bringing it up. Yet, once you explain your preferences, everything all falls into place for him.

• He doesn’t question your aversion to touch, no longer spirals over why it is, but cares for you with it.

• He’d try to improve on confessing his feelings, if only to be sure that you still feel how strong his adoration is for you. He’d compliment you constantly, smile softly much more in your presence in a way that catches others off guard, even melts whenever you subtly take care of him–all reactions that affirm to everyone around you both, just how much he loves you.

• If anyone got too handsy, which is perhaps, most likely in his presence–perhaps an enthusiastic councillor or an excited Fire Nation civilian–he’d always carefully direct them away from you, wordlessly checking in with you through his gaze as he protects your boundaries.

• And when you finally ease enough to touch him, he finds that it doesn’t feel new or shy, just comforting as warm as though it were nothing new.

• For, it was never the lack of affection that made Zuko nervous, it was always making sure that you were happy, safe and loved well by him.

KATARA:

LIKES GIVING: Words of affirmation–Being a young girl who consistently had to prove herself, Katara’s voice became one of her biggest strengths. It enables her to challenge people, speak out for justice, break out of the oppressive mould that some people try to force girls into. She speaks with emotional charge, determination and blunt truths; all of which soften when it comes to showing her love for you. She’s certain, honest, her voice is full of palpable amounts of adoration. For Katara, words of affirmation is her strongest way of showing her love for you because her words aren’t just words, they encompass her feelings entirely.

LIKES RECEIVING: Gift giving–With her adoration for her mother’s necklace combined with her commitment to her tribal outfits and hairstyles, Katara’s image is built off of her sentimentality with gift giving. Having physical reminders of her home and her love not only strengthens their place in her heart, but pushes her to be something better, more determined, more kind. To Katara, receiving something caring and genuine from someone is the biggest display of love because it goes beyond words or touch, it shows your consideration, care and allows her to carry that with her.

SOKKA:

LIKES GIVING: Acts of service–For Sokka, he’s always showed his love and appreciation by helping people. When the Fire Nation arrived at his tribe’s settlement and he was the only man left, he stood tall to protect his people. He indulges in inventions that, in one way or another, might help someone. His fighting style even evolved to be one that built off of his friends and empowered their bending. Sokka adores helping people, so, of course, this leans into your relationship too. He creates things just to make your life easier, proudly tries to be at your beck and call, would likely carry you everywhere if given the chance. To him, to be the one to make you comfortable and happy feels like the best way to display his love for you by highlighting how much you matter to him.

LIKES RECEIVING: Words of affirmation–Sokka’s love for people isn’t just tied to his memories of them but also what they see in him. With Yue, she didn’t define him as a goofy non-bender, she saw his sincerity and drive to protect his people. With Katara, she sees his struggle and inabilities, yet never undermines his drive and determination because of them. Even Zuko values Sokka’s loyalty and strategy beyond his jokes, though still laughs with him anyways. To see Sokka beyond the wider perception of him is to love him enough to see his imperfections, and words of affirmation are the strongest confirmation of that. To know that you love him so strongly and to feel the depth of your feelings behind your words, is when Sokka feels the most seen, the most valued. After all, to be loved, is to be understood.

SUKI:

LIKES GIVING: Quality time–Through her time as a Kyoshi warrior, Suki has found that quality time is the best way to build a connection. With her sisters, it’s what’s made them so in-tune with one another, allows them to bring justice, be a unit, gives her determination. But with you, it’s a more intimate connection that’s formed. Regardless of how romantic what you’re doing is, being able to give you her time and her undivided attention feels like the best way to show you, your worth to her, how important your presence is to her heart when a world of injustice tries to pry her into loneliness. Quality time affirms to you both the strength of your relationship despite everything.

LIKES RECEIVING: Physical touch–To Suki, physical touch is an affection that grounds her as much as it softens her heart. It’s more tender than the violence she dishes out so often, softer than so much of the world’s cruelty, it’s something that exists between you both as a cushion when things get rough. Whether you’re eagerly excited or using it to ground you both in the moment, physical touch is what allows Suki to soften, to relax and to simple exist within your love, without any of the expectations outside of it. As a woman empowered by a need for justice, a physical reminder of your love is pulls her back to herself and softens her with your affections. Hence, understanding that and offering it to her, is the best way to show her that you care and that your love runs deeper than her brave face, but also to the woman underneath it too.

TOPH:

LIKES GIVING: Physical touch–Being blind, touch is an integral part to how Toph connects with people and the world around her and your relationship is another way she affirms that. Mapping out your skin under her fingers, being able to gently stroke your body, holding you close, any sort of physical affection is what makes her feel the most connected to you. It’s her love in a way that her senses are most heightened to, love in a way that is as close and real as the ground beneath her feet. To her, physical affection is the way she shows her love best because it is the most palpable way that her adoration exists.

LIKES RECEIVING: Words of affirmation–For Toph, physical touch is, of course, special through the way each person gives it to her. Most are gentle, some more direct, even people she barely knows tend to guide her with it for necessities. However, one thing that is individual to your relationship, is how you profess your love. No one else will compliment the small things, confess the way she makes your heart speed, fawn over her existence, not just out of admiration or hopeful flattery, but out of love. She grew up being complimented for things she couldn’t see, disregarded in her bending when it’s her greatest strength. So, to have someone be so genuine for her alone, it means more to her than anything.

ZUKO:

LIKES GIVING: Physical touch–Zuko’s existence is inundated by intense emotions–grief, struggle, desire, hope, fury–so many feelings swirling inside him that he barely understands himself. It makes expressing his emotions verbally an impossible task, too difficult to explain with clarity, a struggle to even convey without getting emotional; all of which extend to his love for you. It’s intense, new to him, so comforting and so deep that the easiest way for him to show his love, is through physical affection. It’s an affection that doesn’t need to be navigated, a show of his love that can just be and conveys how deeply your presence means to him. Every hold on your hand reveals how much he needs your support. Every embrace or kiss shows how much your affection grounds him, what it means to him. Physical affection doesn’t need to be explained, it just shows his emotions more than he could ever say.

LIKES RECEIVING: Acts of service–For so much of his life, Zuko has been abandoned by the people who are meant to love him and forced to fend for himself. Having someone care enough to see the struggles of his life and not abuse it against him was a rarity, something that only existed in his dreams and Uncle Iroh’s comforting presence. Hence, once grown up and having met you, noticing any acts of service hits him harder than anything. It shows you pay attention to him past his title or his face, it shows you care about him enough to remedy anything that discomforts him, it shows that his love for you isn’t superficially constructed like his love for his father was, it displays that it’s a partnership, love that’s reciprocated and deep. For the boy who’s so used to being alone, being cared for makes him feel more loved than anything.