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Ok, kids- bear with me for a minute.  I just came back from a bar.  Eden.  I went with Girlfriend because it was a law school event.  I am now going to share my personal and highly biased (as well as completely subjective) opinion.  You can disagree, but let me explain first.

There are 2 reasons I want to leave my house and go to a bar.  Reason 1- To socialize.  Reason 2- To drink a creative [and hopefully delicious] cocktail.  If you want my hard-earned $10 for something I can make at home, I expect you to cater to at least one of these wishes.

I went to Eden.  It was loud.  I know I sound like an octogenarian, but it's true.  I couldn't hear a guy standing 8" from my face.  I went to the bar and asked what drinks they make, to which the bartender responded that there isn't a drink menu, but he'll make me something.  I appreciate his effort, but come on- it's a bar.  Are you telling me that there isn't one person there competent enough to throw a couple ingredients together and name it?  Give it a shot*.

There is a third reason people go to bars- to dance and hook up.  There were a couple people there bouncing in place, and I'm sure there were a happy few heading to someone else's bed, but come on Eden.  Try a little.  There are other places to find drunk people to hook up with.

I've found that a pretty good measure of a coffee shop is their cappuccino.  It's a combination of well-sourced coffee, experience, and willingness on behalf of the management to shell out thousands of dollars to buy the equipment.  Far be it from me to say that this is the only thing you'd want when getting coffee (a great pour-over is a wonderful thing), but if you're somewhere new and want to find a reliable cup, this is the best way to test their meddle.  The mechanics of what goes on behind the scenes to make a fantastic cappuccino are somewhat extensive, so for the uninitiated I'll provide a quick rundown.

A cappuccino is espresso and frothed milk (1 oz espresso to 3 oz milk is fair- any more and you venture into latte territory).  Pulling espresso is a science to itself, but suffice it to say that if it tastes really bitter, someone messed up.  You push hot water through coffee grinds with a lot of pressure, and ideally you want to get your shots pulled before the coffee gets over-extracted and turns bitter.  It takes a lot of messing about with grind size and timing.  I hear Nathan Myhrvold spent 50 or so pages in Modernist Cuisine talking about it.

Milk frothing is incorporating air into the milk by blowing steam in.  There seem to be two camps about how it should turn out - one says that the extra foam should go on top, and the other has it incorporated into the milk (incorporated makes it possible to have latte art).  My preference is for incorporated, and it seems that the places that can pull this off have better espresso.  Easy tell- if there's a design on your coffee, things are looking good.

I'm ready to move on.  That took longer than I thought.

There are two places that I found fantastic cappuccino, and I'll give them to you in order.

M.E. Swing Coffee Roasters- From the outside this place looks like an office.  I don't know how to explain it other than that.  It's drab and you can't see inside.  If you could, though, you'd notice the mahogany counter they moved in from their original location in front of a big mirrored display that came with it in the move.  In the afternoons it's crazy, but they seem to move rather quickly.  Shouldn't be more than a 10 minute wait at the worst (don't hold me to that, though).  And it's worth it.  Oh man, what a coffee.

They roast their own beans fresh daily (and they have almost 100 years practice at it), so they're already a bit ahead of the game.  Their cappuccino was wonderful.  Their location is pretty decent, too- they're right next to the White House.  There's a helpful tidbit, tourists. 

They also sell their coffee (and tea).  The scales seem to be as old as the countertop, which gives a nice effect to the whole transaction.  I bought a half pound, and can understand what kept them in business for the past century.

Filter Coffee house & Espresso Bar- This is a converted English Basement apartment just off Dupont Circle (20th and S, for those too lazy to google it).  A really great place.  The first time I came to DC I was staying in the Hilton nearby, and stumbled in there in a caffiene-deprived haze.  It’s the kind of place where the [few] tables fill up with people on laptops, but you can probably find a seat if you need one.  There are tables outside, which I prefer, but your cappuccino won’t necessarily survive the walk unless you can pace yourself (which I can’t).

Filter gets their coffee from a local roaster in Annapolis, Caffe Pronto.  I haven't had their coffee anywhere else, but from this it seems pretty great.  

There's an honorable mention to Bourbon Coffee- a Rwandan import that opened in DC a few years ago and just opened their second American location in New York.  The cappuccino wasn't all that great, but Girlfriend got a sangria coffee which was rather interesting.  It's a standard joe poured over an orange rind (or something like that).  Unique and worth mentioning.  They also, for the record, roast their own coffee and a pour over is pretty worthwhile.

I made a drink.  I could say "fashioned a cocktail", but that sounds a little too serious.  However you phrase it, I put some stuff in a shaker, tasted it, and then made a pitcher full.

I'll call this drink a Ruby Fresh.  I came up with a name later (generally, I'll give drinks a test-drive before coming up with a name- it gives a chance for it to leave an impression/have the opportunity to be named after someone attractive that had it).  I wouldn't mention the name, except that I think it's kind of catchy.

Anyway, I forgot some of the recipe, but I think it was this:

Make boba (the bubbles of bubble tea).  7:1 water to boba was what I used, but I couldn't get it to work again, so don't take my advice.  When they're cooked, put them in a peppermint syrup (boil 1:1 sugar to water with some dried peppermint leaves, strain).  Put in the fridge for a while.

Put 3 parts cranberry-pomegranate juice and 1 part coconut rum in whatever receptacle you want (1/2 gallon mason jar for me), and let it chill for a bit.

To serve, put a couple mint boba in a champagne flute and fill it 3/4 of the way with the cocktail.  Top off with ginger ale (about 1.5 parts).

I’m in the middle of reading a book.  The book was given to me by my friend Dave, who for the few weeks before heading out on a three month trip to Europe has been staying on my couch (really how I got the book is immaterial, but it seemed like a good way to introduce what would otherwise have been a boring paragraph).  The Book is titled Eat Me: The Food and Philosophy of Kenny Shopsin.

Kenny Shopsin is crazy.  I’m sure he would volunteer that, so I don’t feel too awful writing that about him.  Kenny is also brilliant (I submit as evidence this mention of Alain Ducasse, legendary French chef, loving his food: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/12/magazine/12food-t.html).  If you want to know about his restaurant, read that article.  I’m talking about the book.  Focus.

When Dave gave me Eat Me, I flipped around and read some of the recipes.  I kept that up for about two hours.  In between bits of brilliant cooking are lines like “as far as I’m concerned, bread and garlic are the essence of life” and “[it] has a nice, fluffy texture to it, like nipples when you suck on them” (both quotes, incidentally, are from the same paragraph- pg. 135).  Basically, this book is amazing and hysterical.

Kenny’s Brilliance Exhibit B: pg. 90, which recounts the history and recipe for Mac n Cheese Pancakes.  In case you chose not to double back and read that again [you lazy bastard], I’ll repeat: Mac n Cheese Pancakes.  Allow a moment for that to sink in.

The recipe is simple.  1- Make pancakes.  2- Before you flip them, put cooked macaroni on top, followed by shredded cheddar.  3- Flip.  Serve with maple syrup and hot sauce.  The link above has a more in depth recipe, which the diligent among you may have seen by now.  If you need any more instruction, I think there’s a video on there also. 

I’m going to ask you a favor now, which will take a little more willpower for some of you than others.  Whatever you thought about my description, try it.  Don’t leave out the syrup or hot sauce.