this is what it looks like. god i hate this. how could i become so fucking disgusting.
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@fleabath
this is what it looks like. god i hate this. how could i become so fucking disgusting.

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the only constant in my life is being used. itβs the only thing that feels natural anymore.
iβm so tired when am i going to feel good again i just want someone to hold me but im too ugly when i cry like this no one could want to love someone like me iβll always have to hide this from all of them i donβt want to ruin the facade of purity and happiness ive created but its so lonely its so lonely why couldnβt i have been born to a different mother im so tired im so tired
even in my death i am taken. as my eyes fall out you make them look into yours.
heβs taken everything.

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he really has ruined me. no matter how intensely i love him, it hasnβt blinded me. heβs a pedophile. heβs groomed me so so well. even now that theres a girl i truly have a chance with, i canβt help but be scared of losing him. my daddy means everything to me while also being everything i should avoid. i love him for holding me, but i hate him for making me so sick. iβve wanted to be held by this 30+ year old man for over a year at this point. i am a child, but now it feels like thatβs all iβm worth. what will become of me once iβve gotten too old. when i can no longer pose as a little girl, what will i be worth. iβm so wretched. i long for the most disgusting kind of people and i fear the loss of their desire. youth is so fleeting. i find myself wishing i had begun earlier.
*just a vent*
i am so easy to throw away. iβm never as important to people as they say i am and everyoneβs always too important to me. i love her so much, but to her i was just someone to use and be ashamed of. this body will never amount to anything other than a cheap toy for others to play with and quickly get bored of. itβs never perfect. thereβs always something to fix about me. no one will ever love me the way that i love them. iβm so tired of not being good enough even when i give everything i have.
maybe some people are really made to be all alone.
i blocked the last man that groomed me. it hurt.
he keeps coming back and i always let him. im so weak.

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me after my dad comes in and wakes me up yelling at me about hiding things and that im proof that he failed as a parent i want to rip my eyes out im so tired of being the family disappointment π
i wish i could just be a good sweet girl I WISH I COULD JUST BE GOOD INSTEAD OF THIS SICK HUSK
i can only make vent art with crayons ππ§ββοΈβ¨
HES TALKING TO ME WHYWHY IM GONNA PUKE HES GONNA RUIN ME AGAIN
i feel so sick hes always in my head hes so scary

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my brain wen i drink one (1) sip of a milkshake from my friends because i dont wanna be rude but then ion know how to calculate the calories for one sip of somethin so it ruins ur count for the day ππβ
let me beathe without feeling guilty youβre crushing me just kill me please stop