i DO NOT agree with what enji did AT ALL ,   i condemn it really .  he fucked up ,  and i’m sure we are all aware of so .  he might have not meant it ,  but it still happened and it still heavily affected those around him ( even if he is trying to get better ,  one can’t and shouldn’t ignore the clear signs of abuse to which his family went through ,  mental and physical ) .

      however ,  i can enjoy the way his character evolved from an utter asshole to someone i can even find myself in on some parts .  to me ,  it’s clear that not even horikoshi knew what he wanted to do with him in the beginning ,  and you know ,  that’s alright by me :  it’s his story and creation ( to which i believe some people sometimes forget ,  but i won’t be getting into it in this post ) ,  and you don’t have to know everything in detail right away .  i can enjoy the fact that enji is wanting to change and working towards that change ,  and that isn’t forcing anyone to be okay with it / forgive him / etc .  in my opinion ,  it wouldn’t be a genuine change if he did force it upon others ,  to which it doesn’t seem to be the case with his character .

      i don’t consider his arc a redemption arc :  mostly because he isn’t asking for redemption ,  which i can appreciate --- he is just trying to be better ,  and i enjoy thoroughly that he accepted that yes ,  he fucked up big .

      i’ll continue to enjoy his character development ,  but before i go i must say that my enji is slightly canon divergent :  basically all that happened in canon is part of my canon ,  what changes is the fact that enji has been trying to change for 2 years canon time ( that’s when he started to send rei her flowers ) ,  and that what happened in the festival arc didn’t happen ( because again ,  i can see that horikoshi back then didn’t know what to do with him yet ,  and he has changed a lot later on ;  something i believe people are still stuck on because at the end of the day ,  it was canon what happened ) .  i also gave him a bit of backstory ,  but that’s about it to be honest .

      i am okay with speaking about the things that happened in the past ,  i’ll even write headcanon posts about those times if i see fit ( to which i already did ) ,  however i am not comfortable with writing those times ( as a victim of abuse myself ,  it doesn’t sit right with me ,  and this is for my own comfort on the subject ) .

      for enji ,  i try and stay with canon the most ,  since i genuinely believe that horikoshi is doing a wonderful job portraying him ,  however i’ll budge slightly as to fit with people’s canon ( that involves plotting ,  though ) .  to which i shall mention :  this means that while i’m more than okay with the famous good brother touya au and am okay with writing with those who go with it in their portrayal ,  i would appreciate that it’s not shoved down my throat as the only canon that is valid .  because while i feel immensely bad for touya ,  i do not feel that same remorse towards dabi .

      a room ,  one filled to the brim with mirrors .  eyebrow raises at the sight ,  the echo of his steps one heard throughout the room that extended before him ,  and behind him .  what the hell was this ?

      coming closer to one ,  he read the description below it ;  which ,  truth be told ,  did not help in his confusion   —   if anything ,  it made him more and more confused at what was happening ,  although curious as well .  who wouldn't be ?  well ,  don't answer that ,  actually   —

      so he walks around ,  looking at the images shown on the mirrors (  as if doors to other universes ,  it seemed   —   what type of quirk he got hit with ?  ) as they moved ,  as well as the words below them describing them . . .  he can see ahead of him the door out of here ,  or he hopes ;  and so he begins to walk in it's direction ,  ignoring his curiousity the best he could .  that was ,  until a certain nickname he hadn't heard in years is said right next to him :

      "  jiji ~ !  "

      head turns slowly ,  mismatched and tired eyes now locked on the mirror that was hang on the wall to his left .  the sight isn't one he was waiting for ,  and he gulps slightly as he turned to face it better .  his curiousity be damned   —   it would surely be his death ,  some day .  and that day was perhaps sooner than he wished for it to be .

      he sees himself in his living room ,  the man in basically every aspect .  the same beard ,  the same scar   —   even the same decoration around the room as his home is .  but it is not the same man at all ,  and enji knows that because of his eyes . . .  he can tell he is tired ,  but not as much ;  and the flame hero isn't sure of what to feel about that .

      "  what is it ,  takumi ?  "

      the moment he says that damned name ,  endeavor looks away as he closes his eyes :  he hadn't heard that name in . . .  years .  almost two decades ,  he is sure .  he turns to face the mirror once again extremely slowly ,  almost as if afraid .  but if you were to mention such ,  he would deny with his whole heart .  truthly ,  he was . . .  enji felt sick to his stomach .

      because watching someone who he for years tried to forget that they existed . . .  right in front of this other self of his ,  smiling and laughing and happy .  it reminds the hero of back when they were teenagers ,  and that brings the bitter taste of blood to his mouth as he holds back a cough of his now .

      they looked happy ,  because of him .  and he himself looked happy ,  as well ;  even smiling at a stupid joke the other decides to tell him .  and that broke him in ways he hadn't expected to be broken by before .

      a sharp and loud gasp leaves him when the image in front of him falters ,  looking to the side only to see his hand had moved to touch the mirror ,  or what he previously thought as .  he steps back quickly ,  hand holding his right side as he struggles to breath a little ,  and he has never moved out of a room as quickly as before .  sadness surrounds him as he goes ,  almost running out of there at this point   —   but guilt wins over in the end .

      enji's eyes open again ,  his breathing so irregular as he gets used to his surroundings again .  his room ,  was this   —   was this just a dream ?  it felt . . .  too real .  he sits down and runs a hand through his hair ,  the smell of something burning can be felt ,  but this isn't the first time this had happened .  however it meant that he had to get yet another futon . . .