right in the pussy

Can I pass you up on that offer, or are we out of passes? Is the ball just.. in my court forever now? Do I just keep dribbling? Do I shoot and try to score? I have really bad hand-eye coordination.

Technically, passing on that offer means you've just forfeit the game. So, in the immortal words of Nicki - like, give it up. It's me. I win, you lose. I totally respect your decision to lose in this case but just remember that meditation isn't going to get you good dick. Your loss though.

Wow. Holly, have you ever considered meditation? I’m sensing a lot of really bad vibes coming from you. But listen, I can help you with that. I made this meditation playlist earlier today on Spotify and I feel like it could really help you get in the zone.

I prefer to pray. Any bad vibes you're sensing are probably a result of you living a life of sin. That's got nothing to do with me. I'm gonna have to skip on your playlist offer, but listen since we're offering help, I know this really great priest -- body like Jesus without the crucifixion scars and I'm almost certain he's ready to break his vow of celibacy. Think about it, you could be the one for him.

To all the lads out there: would you suck yourself off if you could? To all the ladies: ‘sup.

I'll suck you off if you let me watch you try. I haven't had a good story on Snapchat for like, an entire week now. It's really stressing me out.

You need a hobby -- something that doesn't involve fictitious bullshit that's written to make you feel enlightened. You're about as enlightened as the marine wildlife you're reading about. So, not at all. I suggest meditation, maybe knitting. You could try shopping, I hear capitalism is all the rage these days.