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@firstlvght
š šššššššššĀ ;Ā asĀ writtenĀ byĀ bonnie . she/her & est & twenty4 !
albusĀ severusĀ potterĀ (Ā christopherĀ brineyĀ )Ā +Ā introĀ &Ā pinterest
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feelĀ freeĀ toĀ sendĀ anyĀ memesĀ forĀ anyoneĀ hereĀ !Ā
theyĀ Ā wereĀ Ā skin-to-skin,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ Ā worldsĀ Ā apartĀ Ā whereĀ Ā itĀ Ā trulyĀ Ā mattered.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā raisedĀ Ā underĀ Ā twoĀ Ā differentĀ Ā handsĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ Ā veryĀ Ā sameĀ Ā pairĀ Ā thatĀ Ā wouldĀ Ā neverĀ Ā allowĀ Ā themĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā moreĀ Ā thanĀ Ā justĀ Ā this,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā burningĀ Ā fast,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā yetĀ Ā fleetingā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā engulfingĀ Ā everythingĀ Ā inĀ Ā itsĀ Ā pathĀ Ā untilĀ Ā thereĀ Ā wouldĀ Ā beĀ Ā nothingĀ Ā leftĀ Ā butĀ Ā theĀ Ā memoryĀ Ā ofĀ Ā aĀ Ā millionĀ Ā lifetimesĀ Ā thatĀ Ā couldĀ Ā neverĀ Ā beĀ Ā trulyĀ Ā theirs.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā inĀ Ā thisĀ Ā one,Ā Ā Ā Ā luckĀ Ā wasĀ Ā farĀ Ā fromĀ Ā theirĀ Ā sideĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā theĀ Ā ideaĀ Ā ofĀ Ā destinyĀ Ā provedĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā ratherĀ Ā cruel.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā whyĀ Ā wouldĀ Ā theĀ Ā fatesĀ Ā haveĀ Ā themĀ Ā meet,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā justĀ Ā toĀ Ā forĀ Ā oneĀ Ā toĀ Ā riseĀ Ā asĀ Ā morningĀ Ā comes,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā and,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ Ā otherĀ Ā toĀ Ā fallĀ Ā asĀ Ā dawnĀ Ā settlesĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā missingĀ Ā eachĀ Ā otherĀ Ā byĀ Ā justĀ Ā aĀ Ā moment.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā wouldĀ Ā beĀ Ā withĀ Ā her,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā notĀ Ā you,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ifĀ Ā iĀ Ā feelĀ Ā evenĀ Ā anĀ Ā ounceĀ Ā ofĀ Ā whatĀ Ā iĀ Ā doĀ Ā forĀ Ā you,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā canĀ Ā feelĀ Ā albusĀ Ā pullingĀ Ā awayĀ Ā fromĀ Ā himĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ Ā shiftingĀ Ā ofĀ Ā weightĀ Ā inĀ Ā theĀ Ā mattressĀ Ā tuggingĀ Ā atĀ Ā theĀ Ā proverbialĀ Ā stringĀ Ā tyingĀ Ā them,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā onlyĀ Ā urgesĀ Ā scorpiusĀ Ā toĀ Ā riseĀ Ā withĀ Ā him.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā iāmĀ Ā happyĀ Ā withĀ Ā you.Ā Ā Ā Ā thisĀ Ā isĀ Ā whereĀ Ā iĀ Ā findĀ Ā myĀ Ā happiness.Ā Ā Ā Ā nothingĀ Ā elseĀ Ā mattersĀ Ā butĀ Ā us,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā babyĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā swearĀ Ā thatĀ Ā toĀ Ā you,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā takesĀ Ā aĀ Ā holdĀ Ā ofĀ Ā theĀ Ā otherāsĀ Ā handĀ Ā beforeĀ Ā theyĀ Ā couldĀ Ā trulyĀ Ā part,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā brushesĀ Ā overĀ Ā albusāĀ Ā ringĀ Ā fingerĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā empty,Ā Ā Ā Ā muchĀ Ā likeĀ Ā hisĀ Ā own.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā itāsĀ Ā notĀ Ā myĀ Ā choice.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā marriageĀ Ā isĀ Ā aĀ Ā pieceĀ Ā ofĀ Ā paperĀ Ā meantĀ Ā toĀ Ā appeaseĀ Ā theĀ Ā masses.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā whateverĀ Ā happensĀ Ā outĀ Ā thatĀ Ā door,Ā Ā Ā Ā doesnātĀ Ā matter.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā noneĀ Ā ofĀ Ā itĀ Ā isĀ Ā real.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā noneĀ Ā ofĀ Ā itĀ Ā isĀ Ā this,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā bringingĀ Ā theĀ Ā handĀ Ā toĀ Ā hisĀ Ā lips,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā kissedĀ Ā theĀ Ā backĀ Ā ofĀ Ā itĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā anĀ Ā anchor,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā tuggingĀ Ā albusĀ Ā backĀ Ā toĀ Ā shoreĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā beforeĀ Ā heĀ Ā couldĀ Ā floatĀ Ā backĀ Ā intoĀ Ā theĀ Ā realmsĀ Ā ofĀ Ā reality.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā comeĀ Ā backĀ Ā withĀ Ā me,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā hisĀ Ā voiceĀ Ā soft,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā devoidĀ Ā ofĀ Ā itsĀ Ā usualĀ Ā drawl.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā onlyĀ Ā truth.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā justĀ Ā forĀ Ā aĀ Ā fewĀ Ā days.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā youĀ Ā canĀ Ā leaveĀ Ā wheneverĀ Ā youĀ Ā want.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā spendĀ Ā theĀ Ā entireĀ Ā timeĀ Ā cursingĀ Ā me,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā icingĀ Ā meĀ Ā out,Ā Ā Ā Ā slapĀ Ā meĀ Ā forĀ Ā goodĀ Ā measureĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā anything.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā justĀ Ā comeĀ Ā homeĀ Ā withĀ Ā me,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ceruleanĀ Ā stillĀ Ā fixedĀ Ā onĀ Ā theĀ Ā otherĀ Ā male,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā handĀ Ā weavedĀ Ā inĀ Ā betweenĀ Ā oneĀ Ā anotherās.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā beĀ Ā mineĀ Ā again,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā love.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā fromĀ Ā now,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā toĀ Ā always,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā
itĀ shouldĀ beĀ enoughĀ consolationĀ forĀ albus,Ā scorpiusāsĀ verbalĀ affirmationĀ thatĀ heĀ hasĀ feelingsĀ forĀ him,Ā strongĀ onesĀ atĀ that,Ā toĀ helpĀ himĀ throughĀ theĀ turmoilĀ inside.Ā heĀ wishesĀ thatĀ theĀ wordsĀ andĀ actionsĀ wereĀ enough,Ā andĀ heĀ doesnātĀ knowĀ whyĀ itāsĀ not.Ā heĀ wishesĀ heĀ couldĀ identifyĀ whatĀ causesĀ himĀ toĀ viewĀ hisĀ relationshipsĀ likeĀ this,Ā thatĀ heĀ feelsĀ theĀ needĀ toĀ ruinĀ itĀ beforeĀ itĀ canĀ evenĀ getĀ started.Ā theĀ acheĀ inĀ hisĀ chestĀ onlyĀ intensifiesĀ asĀ scorpiusĀ touchesĀ hisĀ hand,Ā andĀ heĀ knowsĀ thereāsĀ noĀ maliceĀ behindĀ it,Ā butĀ itāsĀ aĀ cruelĀ reminderĀ ofĀ whatĀ theyĀ canĀ neverĀ have,Ā evenĀ ifĀ theyĀ wantedĀ it,Ā ifĀ theyĀ evenĀ gotĀ toĀ thatĀ pointĀ ofĀ itĀ all.Ā Ā thereāsĀ aĀ magneticĀ forceĀ aboutĀ scorpiusĀ malfoy,Ā andĀ itĀ takesĀ everythingĀ inĀ albusĀ toĀ fightĀ it,Ā toĀ notĀ fallĀ toĀ theĀ pullĀ backĀ intoĀ hisĀ arms.Ā itāsĀ alreadyĀ tooĀ lateĀ forĀ alĀ toĀ takeĀ backĀ whatĀ heĀ said,Ā tooĀ lateĀ toĀ pretendĀ thatĀ theĀ realityĀ settlingĀ forĀ himĀ isnātĀ atĀ theĀ backĀ ofĀ hisĀ mindĀ atĀ allĀ times.Ā itāsĀ justĀ nowĀ albusĀ feelsĀ likeĀ heĀ hasĀ toĀ voiceĀ it.Ā aĀ sadnessĀ thatĀ canĀ onlyĀ beĀ describedĀ asĀ profoundĀ isĀ castĀ overĀ hisĀ face,Ā andĀ heāsĀ tooĀ muchĀ ofĀ aĀ romanticĀ toĀ agreeĀ withĀ scorpius.Ā heĀ thinksĀ ofĀ thoseĀ aroundĀ him,Ā theĀ wayĀ hisĀ parentsĀ haveĀ beenĀ rocksĀ forĀ oneĀ another,Ā noĀ matterĀ howĀ darkĀ theĀ daysĀ were.Ā itāsĀ somethingĀ thatĀ albusĀ wantsĀ forĀ himself,Ā somethingĀ thatĀ heĀ hadĀ thoughtĀ heĀ hadĀ found,Ā noĀ matterĀ howĀ doomedĀ thisĀ mightĀ haveĀ been.Ā alĀ shakesĀ hisĀ headĀ gently,Ā andĀ lookingĀ intoĀ scorāsĀ blueĀ eyesĀ areĀ almostĀ enoughĀ toĀ makeĀ himĀ cave,Ā butĀ heĀ doesnāt.Ā āiĀ canātĀ doĀ that,Ā scor,āĀ heĀ finallyĀ says,Ā handĀ gentlyĀ fallingĀ fromĀ theĀ otherās.Ā āmyĀ familyĀ isĀ alreadyĀ worriedĀ aboutĀ me,āĀ andĀ heĀ thinksĀ aboutĀ howĀ awfulĀ heĀ wasĀ toĀ james,Ā andĀ heĀ canātĀ imagineĀ beingĀ separatedĀ fromĀ hisĀ brother,Ā hisĀ sister.Ā āiĀ donātĀ ...Ā iĀ donātĀ wantĀ toĀ justĀ haveĀ anotherĀ wingĀ inĀ theĀ estateĀ thatĀ youĀ willĀ shareĀ withĀ yourĀ wife.āĀ evenĀ thinkingĀ aboutĀ scorĀ havingĀ aĀ familyĀ ofĀ hisĀ ownĀ isĀ enoughĀ toĀ makeĀ himĀ feelĀ likeĀ heāsĀ goingĀ toĀ fallĀ apartĀ atĀ anyĀ moment.Ā āandĀ iāmĀ notĀ goingĀ toĀ askĀ youĀ toĀ leaveĀ yourĀ family,āĀ heĀ addsĀ asĀ aĀ disclaimerĀ becauseĀ heĀ wouldnātĀ askĀ himĀ toĀ doĀ somethingĀ heĀ himselfĀ wouldnātĀ do.Ā butĀ itāsĀ alsoĀ notĀ likeĀ albusĀ canĀ offerĀ himĀ anythingĀ betterĀ thanĀ aĀ crampedĀ safehouse.Ā āsoĀ ...Ā iĀ think.āĀ heĀ pauses,Ā hasĀ toĀ lookĀ awayĀ fromĀ him.Ā āiĀ thinkĀ iĀ needĀ toĀ goĀ home.āĀ Ā
Fingers drummed softly against the flat surface of the table of where she sat. Her eyes trained on the door waiting, for what she wasn't sure but she was waiting. It was as if deep within her she knew that something was going to happen but she couldn't figure out exactly what or to what length it would be. Her legs crossed and her foot bobbed in the air. It wasn't like her to feel so anxious but Ginny couldn't get rid of the feeling. She couldn't calm the nerves of worry while she sat there in the silence. Glancing towards the magical clock that hung on the room Ginny wished that time would go faster so that the feeling in the pit of her stomach would fade away. With a shake of her head she gave a swish of her wand and started up the kettle, perhaps a cup of tea or hot coco would help, when the sound of the nearby floo flared to life. @firstlvght
heāsĀ stillĀ reeling,Ā theĀ conversationĀ onĀ repeatĀ inĀ hisĀ mind.Ā alĀ wishesĀ thatĀ heĀ couldĀ haveĀ saidĀ thingsĀ differently,Ā butĀ heĀ knowsĀ heāsĀ neverĀ goingĀ toĀ beĀ ableĀ toĀ takeĀ backĀ theĀ thingsĀ thatĀ heāsĀ said.Ā noĀ amountĀ ofĀ distanceĀ willĀ helpĀ himĀ forget,Ā andĀ itāsĀ somethingĀ thatĀ heĀ willĀ haveĀ toĀ getĀ usedĀ to.Ā theĀ safeĀ houseĀ welcomesĀ him,Ā andĀ heĀ triesĀ hisĀ bestĀ toĀ beĀ quiet,Ā butĀ heĀ jumpsĀ instantly,Ā seeingĀ hisĀ motherĀ satĀ atĀ theĀ table.Ā āhey,Ā mum,āĀ heĀ says,Ā weakly,Ā lipsĀ pressedĀ togetherĀ asĀ heĀ standsĀ acrossĀ fromĀ her.Ā heĀ hadĀ hoped,Ā selfishly,Ā thatĀ noĀ oneĀ wouldĀ beĀ aroundĀ whenĀ heĀ returned,Ā aĀ chanceĀ toĀ quicklyĀ hideĀ whileĀ heĀ gatheredĀ himself.Ā butĀ itāsĀ likeĀ ginnyĀ knows,Ā andĀ heĀ hasĀ toĀ keepĀ himselfĀ together,Ā atĀ leastĀ forĀ aĀ littleĀ bit.Ā heĀ reachesĀ forĀ theĀ chairĀ acrossĀ fromĀ her,Ā armsĀ restingĀ onĀ theĀ tableĀ asĀ heĀ rushesĀ hisĀ handsĀ throughĀ hisĀ hair.Ā āiĀ thinkĀ iĀ fuckedĀ up,āĀ albusĀ admits,Ā notĀ wantingĀ toĀ lookĀ atĀ herĀ justĀ yet,Ā andĀ heĀ doesnātĀ evenĀ knowĀ whereĀ toĀ begin.Ā Ā
Albus, Iām not good at writing theseĀ
I feel very far from youĀ
Will you please meet me somewhere? Anywhere.Ā
Albus,Ā @firstlvght
Ā When I began writing this letter, there was a lot that I wanted to say. But as the days past, I feel the eternity between us stretches for miles and I canāt make sense of whatās going on in my head anymore. When I recklessly and thoughtlessly divulged my feelings to you, I never really expected that youād feel the same way but, foolishly, I had hope that you would. But itās okay that you donāt. Iā¦Ā
I keep telling myself that this will pass, eventually, But I donāt think it will. You see, even when weāre separated by great distances, youāre still the only person I think of. Period. The only person I wish to tell all my secrets, the only person I wish to spend my afternoons with in the sun, the only person I wish to share a laugh with. My fondness for you only seems to grow in the heartache, which seems foolish and unfair. I know I am quite mad at myself for it but I donāt know how to stop.Ā
This isnāt really about that though. I only wanted to let you know that youāre wanted and, well, I think I have done that in a way. Please know that, I would do anything to keep being your friend. If it meant never having to speak of my own feelings then so be it; I would selflessly put them away if it meant being in your favor. Youād only have to ignore the stares; those I canāt help, Iām sorry.Ā
I never intended on being a nuisance to you and I hope, sincerely, completely, wholly, that I never am one. I know my feelings for you arenāt ideal, but they are the most genuine ones that I have ever had. Iā¦ I am sorry that I left so suddenly the other day. I just couldnāt take you looking at meā¦ I just couldnāt take it, you know? I realize I probably left you in a state of confusion and Iām extending an olive branch - feel free to ask me anything, or nothing at all if it suits you.Ā
I will always care for you. Even if weāre far, far away from one another.Ā
Lysander
lys,Ā Ā
iĀ wantĀ youĀ toĀ knowĀ thatĀ iāmĀ convincedĀ thatĀ thereāsĀ nothingĀ youĀ couldĀ everĀ doĀ toĀ meĀ thatĀ wouldĀ makeĀ meĀ notĀ wantĀ toĀ beĀ yourĀ friendĀ anymore.Ā youĀ areĀ myĀ closest,Ā oldestĀ friend,Ā andĀ andĀ iĀ wishĀ iĀ couldĀ tellĀ youĀ theĀ truthĀ theĀ pastĀ daysĀ withoutĀ youĀ haveĀ beenĀ confusing,Ā definitely,Ā butĀ theĀ hollownessĀ leftĀ byĀ yourĀ absenceĀ weighsĀ moreĀ onĀ meĀ thanĀ iĀ thinkĀ youĀ believedĀ itĀ would.Ā thatĀ isnātĀ somethingĀ iāmĀ sayingĀ toĀ makeĀ youĀ feelĀ guilty,Ā butĀ iĀ wantĀ youĀ toĀ knowĀ justĀ howĀ muchĀ youĀ meanĀ toĀ meĀ sinceĀ iāmĀ obviouslyĀ notĀ veryĀ goodĀ atĀ makingĀ itĀ known.Ā Ā iāmĀ theĀ oneĀ whoĀ shouldĀ beĀ apologizingĀ here.Ā youĀ confidedĀ somethingĀ inĀ me,Ā andĀ i had such a shitty reaction. iĀ wishĀ iĀ couldĀ castĀ blameĀ ofĀ myĀ reactionĀ onĀ ...Ā whateverĀ magicĀ theyĀ hadĀ beenĀ usingĀ toĀ justifyĀ myĀ response.Ā butĀ inĀ allĀ actuality,Ā itĀ hadĀ beenĀ becauseĀ iĀ wasĀ justĀ soĀ shockedĀ andĀ surprisedĀ byĀ yourĀ words.Ā iĀ donātĀ lookĀ atĀ youĀ inĀ anyĀ differentĀ way,Ā andĀ ifĀ youādĀ want,Ā iĀ canĀ comeĀ byĀ soon,Ā wheneverĀ youāreĀ ready.Ā iĀ meantĀ itĀ whenĀ iĀ saidĀ iādĀ comeĀ seeĀ you.Ā andĀ maybeĀ thisĀ isĀ aĀ conversationĀ weĀ shouldĀ haveĀ inĀ person.Ā Ā pleaseĀ donātĀ everĀ feelĀ likeĀ youĀ haveĀ toĀ distanceĀ yourselfĀ fromĀ meĀ likeĀ thisĀ again.Ā itāsĀ us,Ā lys.Ā weāllĀ beĀ ableĀ toĀ workĀ throughĀ itĀ together.Ā Ā
albus
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āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā itĀ Ā doesn'tĀ Ā haveĀ Ā toĀ Ā be,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā withinĀ Ā theĀ Ā hollowedĀ Ā hallsĀ Ā ofĀ Ā oneĀ Ā ofĀ Ā theĀ Ā ancestralĀ Ā homes,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā lieĀ Ā aĀ Ā sacredĀ Ā defianceĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā limbsĀ Ā tangledĀ Ā withinĀ Ā oneĀ Ā another's,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā skinĀ Ā findingĀ Ā familiarityĀ Ā againstĀ Ā theĀ Ā other'sĀ Ā ownĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā havingĀ Ā grownĀ Ā aĀ Ā homeĀ Ā acrossĀ Ā enemyĀ Ā linesĀ Ā isĀ Ā theĀ Ā lastĀ Ā thingĀ Ā eitherĀ Ā ofĀ Ā themĀ Ā thoughtĀ Ā wouldĀ Ā happen,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā alasĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā returnsĀ Ā theĀ Ā other'sĀ Ā kissesĀ Ā withĀ Ā someĀ Ā ofĀ Ā hisĀ Ā own,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā handĀ Ā snakedĀ Ā aroundĀ Ā albus'Ā Ā neck,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā neverĀ Ā onceĀ Ā leavingĀ Ā hisĀ Ā side.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā starsĀ Ā absentmindedlyĀ Ā drawnĀ Ā acrossĀ Ā theĀ Ā brunette'sĀ Ā skin,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā aĀ Ā silentĀ Ā reminderĀ Ā ofĀ Ā whoĀ Ā he'sĀ Ā with,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā whoĀ Ā hasĀ Ā laidĀ Ā hisĀ Ā claimĀ Ā onĀ Ā himĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā forĀ Ā whoeverĀ Ā longĀ Ā theirĀ Ā reverieĀ Ā willĀ Ā last,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā wellĀ Ā beyondĀ Ā theĀ Ā boundsĀ Ā ofĀ Ā time.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā youĀ Ā canĀ Ā liveĀ Ā withĀ Ā me,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ Ā offerĀ Ā isĀ Ā genuine,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā asĀ Ā manyĀ Ā ofĀ Ā hisĀ Ā wordsĀ Ā toĀ Ā albusĀ Ā hadĀ Ā been.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā itĀ Ā wouldĀ Ā beĀ Ā likeĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā havingĀ Ā aĀ Ā roommate,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā suppose.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā oneĀ Ā thatĀ Ā justĀ Ā soĀ Ā happensĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā yourĀ Ā brother'sĀ Ā ex-girlfriend,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā withĀ Ā whomĀ Ā iĀ Ā shareĀ Ā aĀ Ā nameĀ Ā withĀ Ā onĀ Ā aĀ Ā pieceĀ Ā ofĀ Ā paper.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā thinkĀ Ā ofĀ Ā itĀ Ā asĀ Ā aĀ Ā lease.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā irony,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā awkwardnessĀ Ā asideĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā it'sĀ Ā whatĀ Ā liesĀ Ā inĀ Ā theĀ Ā cardsĀ Ā forĀ Ā me,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā forĀ Ā us,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ratherĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā almostĀ Ā continues.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā huesĀ Ā stillĀ Ā lockedĀ Ā onĀ Ā theĀ Ā other'sĀ Ā own,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā aĀ Ā curlĀ Ā reminiscentĀ Ā toĀ Ā aĀ Ā sadĀ Ā smileĀ Ā carvingĀ Ā throughĀ Ā hisĀ Ā features.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā thereĀ Ā isĀ Ā noĀ Ā true,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā fairytaleĀ Ā endingĀ Ā toĀ Ā anyĀ Ā ofĀ Ā thisĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā especiallyĀ Ā notĀ Ā whenĀ Ā theirĀ Ā futuresĀ Ā lieĀ Ā inĀ Ā twoĀ Ā complete,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā divergingĀ Ā paths,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā withĀ Ā noĀ Ā endĀ Ā inĀ Ā sight.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā still,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā withĀ Ā noĀ Ā ringĀ Ā adorningĀ Ā hisĀ Ā leftĀ Ā finger,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā tookĀ Ā albusĀ Ā hereĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā somewhereĀ Ā he'sĀ Ā takenĀ Ā noĀ Ā oneĀ Ā elseĀ Ā before.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā aĀ Ā glimpseĀ Ā intoĀ Ā whatĀ Ā couldĀ Ā haveĀ Ā been.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā needĀ Ā anĀ Ā heir,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā and,Ā Ā Ā Ā unfortunately,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā thereĀ Ā areĀ Ā noĀ Ā miraclesĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā hadĀ Ā betweenĀ Ā usĀ Ā onĀ Ā thatĀ Ā front.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā toĀ Ā noĀ Ā faultĀ Ā ofĀ Ā eitherĀ Ā ofĀ Ā us,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā "Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā whatĀ Ā isĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ Ā storyĀ Ā ofĀ Ā usĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ifĀ Ā notĀ Ā aĀ Ā great,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā bigĀ Ā tragedy.
hisĀ eyesĀ betrayĀ him,Ā shiningĀ withĀ theĀ slightestĀ glimmerĀ ofĀ hopeĀ asĀ scorpiusĀ begins.Ā maybeĀ thisĀ ...Ā trystĀ ofĀ theirsĀ isnātĀ asĀ doomedĀ asĀ heĀ thoughtĀ itĀ was,Ā realityĀ slowlyĀ startingĀ toĀ setĀ inĀ withĀ albus,Ā evenĀ asĀ heĀ feelsĀ scorāsĀ lipsĀ againstĀ hisĀ skin.Ā itāsĀ enoughĀ toĀ becomeĀ completelyĀ unraveledĀ byĀ theĀ other,Ā andĀ heĀ hasĀ toĀ remindĀ himselfĀ thatĀ thisĀ isnātĀ whatĀ theirĀ worldĀ willĀ allow.Ā āliveĀ withĀ you?āĀ alĀ repeats,Ā aĀ laughĀ escapingĀ asĀ heĀ studiesĀ theĀ otherĀ ;Ā heĀ canātĀ beĀ serious.Ā theĀ hopefulĀ lightĀ slowlyĀ startsĀ toĀ fadeĀ fromĀ hisĀ eyes,Ā bitingĀ theĀ insideĀ ofĀ hisĀ cheek.Ā alĀ letsĀ himselfĀ beĀ selfishĀ onceĀ again,Ā dreamingĀ aboutĀ theĀ potentialĀ lifeĀ heĀ andĀ scorĀ couldĀ have.Ā heĀ thinksĀ itĀ wouldnātĀ beĀ muchĀ ofĀ aĀ lifeĀ afterĀ all.Ā scorpiusĀ isĀ toĀ haveĀ aĀ wife,Ā andĀ heāsĀ notĀ naiveĀ norĀ selfishĀ enoughĀ toĀ believeĀ thatĀ heĀ andĀ scorĀ wouldĀ haveĀ theĀ potentialĀ toĀ getĀ thatĀ far,Ā thatĀ official,Ā butĀ theĀ optionĀ noĀ longerĀ beingĀ onĀ theĀ tableĀ causesĀ aĀ painĀ inĀ hisĀ chestĀ thatĀ heĀ isnātĀ expecting.Ā albusĀ shakesĀ hisĀ head,Ā bothĀ atĀ theĀ ideaĀ fromĀ theĀ otherĀ andĀ toĀ shakeĀ theĀ thoughtsĀ fromĀ hisĀ mind.Ā āiĀ canātĀ ...Ā weĀ canātĀ doĀ that,Ā scor.āĀ heĀ says,Ā theĀ realizationĀ weighingĀ heavilyĀ onĀ him.Ā heĀ sitsĀ up,Ā needingĀ someĀ distanceĀ betweenĀ theĀ twoĀ ofĀ them.Ā heĀ knowsĀ scorĀ meansĀ it,Ā thatĀ heĀ wouldĀ neverĀ mistreatĀ him,Ā butĀ recentĀ eventsĀ comeĀ rushingĀ overĀ him,Ā andĀ whyĀ isĀ heĀ regrettingĀ runningĀ awayĀ toĀ scorĀ whenĀ hisĀ familyĀ wasĀ hurtingĀ justĀ asĀ muchĀ asĀ him?Ā āsoĀ ...Ā thatāsĀ theĀ onlyĀ reasonĀ whyĀ youāreĀ doingĀ this?āĀ heĀ asks,Ā andĀ heĀ hatesĀ thatĀ heĀ feelsĀ sorryĀ forĀ scorpiusĀ inĀ theĀ moment,Ā butĀ heāsĀ worriedĀ thatĀ heāsĀ onlyĀ doingĀ itĀ forĀ hisĀ familyāsĀ happiness,Ā notĀ hisĀ own.Ā āevenĀ ifĀ itĀ meansĀ youĀ mightĀ notĀ beĀ happyĀ ...Ā eitherĀ ofĀ you?āĀ albusĀ isnātĀ assumingĀ thatĀ heĀ canĀ giveĀ scorpiusĀ thatĀ happiness,Ā butĀ heĀ wantsĀ himĀ toĀ haveĀ theĀ chanceĀ toĀ figureĀ outĀ whoĀ itĀ mayĀ be.Ā Ā
šæšš“šš“š½ššøš½š¶ ... julieta crabbe, a study in ... lipsĀ poutedĀ beforeĀ youĀ getĀ yourĀ way,Ā darkĀ curlsĀ bouncingĀ asĀ youĀ walkĀ by,Ā mistyĀ eyesĀ hidingĀ justĀ howĀ calculatedĀ youĀ trulyĀ are,Ā andĀ cherryĀ red,Ā isĀ itĀ yourĀ favoriteĀ color orĀ doesĀ itĀ justĀ remindĀ youĀ ofĀ theĀ bloodĀ youāveĀ spilled?Ā +Ā moreĀ !
Al-Saddiq Al-Raddi, from "Theatre" (trans. Sarah Maguire & Sabry Hafez) [ID'd]
Conrad + Intense Looks
MAIA REFICCO as Noa Olivar in Pretty Little Liars: Summer School "Chapter Thirteen: Sweet Sixteen"
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he shoulders sink, already knowing what albus will say before he even says it; its in the way that albus says lysander's name. he doesn't sigh and he doesn't smile. he does take a step away from the bedside of his friend only to reach out when albus nearly falls. he helps him back into bed, a furrow in his brow of worry, and still he doesn't say anything. 'sorry you had to go through that on your own.' nodding, he thinks he understands now; his feelings aren't reciprocated and he doesn't... he doesn't know how to go about things now that albus knows the truth. inside, everything is quiet and he can barely hear albus. there's a sinking pit in his stomach and he feels like he might vomit at any minute.
he needs to get out of here. get out of here before he makes a fool out of himself.
"i think i need to go home now," nodding, he knows that he'll find lorcan after this. his twin is the only one that really understood the depth of his feelings for albus. lys doesn't feel like laughing now and he knows that he won't feel like laughing for a long time about this - if ever. "i... i hope you do get to feeling better, albus." and he does - he would never, ever wish ill on albus.
albusĀ wishesĀ heĀ canĀ takeĀ itĀ allĀ back,Ā andĀ hisĀ breathĀ stillsĀ asĀ heĀ takesĀ inĀ theĀ disappointmentĀ onĀ hisĀ friendāsĀ face.Ā heĀ wishesĀ heĀ knew,Ā orĀ thatĀ maybeĀ albusĀ hadĀ beenĀ theĀ oneĀ toĀ sayĀ somethingĀ toĀ himĀ before.Ā heĀ canātĀ getĀ stuckĀ inĀ theĀ whatĀ ifsĀ orĀ whatĀ couldĀ haveĀ been,Ā butĀ justĀ thinkingĀ aboutĀ beingĀ withĀ lysĀ beingĀ aĀ possibilityĀ onceĀ causesĀ anĀ acheĀ inĀ hisĀ chestĀ heĀ hadnātĀ beenĀ expecting.Ā heĀ canĀ seeĀ theĀ turmoilĀ behindĀ lysanderāsĀ eyes,Ā andĀ heĀ wantsĀ toĀ tellĀ himĀ thatĀ theĀ feelingsĀ were,Ā maybeĀ evenĀ areĀ reciprocated,Ā butĀ heĀ knowsĀ thatĀ willĀ doĀ moreĀ harmĀ thanĀ good.Ā soĀ heĀ settlesĀ withĀ theĀ factĀ thatĀ heāllĀ haveĀ toĀ beĀ someoneĀ thatĀ hurtsĀ lysanderĀ beforeĀ itĀ couldĀ evenĀ getĀ started.Ā heĀ stillĀ doesnātĀ knowĀ whatĀ toĀ sayĀ toĀ hisĀ friendĀ asĀ heĀ canĀ seeĀ theĀ heartbreak,Ā andĀ lipsĀ partĀ butĀ theyĀ sayĀ nothing.Ā instead,Ā albusĀ pressesĀ hisĀ lipsĀ together,Ā asĀ aĀ preventiveĀ measureĀ toĀ saveĀ bothĀ ofĀ themĀ fromĀ anythingĀ thatĀ couldĀ beĀ saidĀ asĀ aĀ mistake.Ā albusĀ nodsĀ hisĀ head,Ā asĀ muchĀ asĀ itĀ painsĀ him,Ā andĀ heĀ knowsĀ itāsĀ forĀ theĀ better.Ā heĀ doesnātĀ knowĀ whyĀ heāsĀ moreĀ comfortableĀ withĀ theĀ ideaĀ ofĀ lysĀ beingĀ upsetĀ withĀ himĀ beforeĀ anythingĀ startsĀ insteadĀ ofĀ themĀ evenĀ trying,Ā butĀ heĀ hopesĀ thatĀ theyĀ canĀ comeĀ backĀ fromĀ this.Ā Ā āiĀ ... āĀ heĀ stumblesĀ overĀ hisĀ wordsĀ still,Ā andĀ heĀ wishesĀ heĀ knewĀ howĀ toĀ helpĀ lysĀ throughĀ this.Ā āiĀ understand.āĀ merlin,Ā heĀ wishesĀ heĀ wouldĀ stopĀ talking.Ā lysanderĀ startsĀ walkingĀ awayĀ andĀ thereāsĀ aĀ weakĀ smile,Ā oneĀ thatĀ heĀ hopesĀ isĀ aĀ comfortĀ becauseĀ heĀ wantsĀ himĀ toĀ knowĀ heĀ stillĀ wantsĀ him,Ā needsĀ himĀ inĀ hisĀ life.Ā āiāllĀ comeĀ ...Ā iāllĀ comeĀ seeĀ youĀ whenĀ iĀ can.āĀ whichĀ heĀ knowsĀ lysanderĀ probablyĀ doesnātĀ wantĀ thatĀ toĀ happenĀ forĀ awhile,Ā butĀ heĀ canĀ atĀ leastĀ try.Ā Ā
NEW GIRL ( 2011 - 2018 ) ā³Ā season 1 episodeĀ 9
whatĀ Ā isĀ Ā theĀ Ā priceĀ Ā ofĀ Ā freedom,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ifĀ Ā not,Ā Ā Ā Ā lossĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā thereĀ Ā canĀ Ā onlyĀ Ā beĀ Ā one,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā traueĀ Ā pathĀ Ā thatĀ Ā theyĀ Ā bothĀ Ā canĀ Ā take,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā itāsĀ Ā oneĀ Ā thatĀ Ā divergesĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā followingĀ Ā fateāsĀ Ā cruelĀ Ā handĀ Ā asĀ Ā itĀ Ā ruptures,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā takesĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā unforgivingĀ Ā evenĀ Ā toĀ Ā theĀ Ā kindestĀ Ā ofĀ Ā souls.Ā Ā Ā Ā unfortunatelyĀ Ā forĀ Ā them,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā onlyĀ Ā oneĀ Ā ofĀ Ā themĀ Ā possessĀ Ā suchĀ Ā innocence.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā inĀ Ā anotherĀ Ā life,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā farĀ Ā unlikeĀ Ā thisĀ Ā one,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā perhapsĀ Ā thingsĀ Ā couldĀ Ā haveĀ Ā beenĀ Ā different.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā maybe,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā justĀ Ā maybe,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theyĀ Ā wouldnātĀ Ā haveĀ Ā beenĀ Ā soĀ Ā destinedĀ Ā toĀ Ā missĀ Ā eachĀ Ā otherĀ Ā byĀ Ā theĀ Ā flickerĀ Ā ofĀ Ā dawn,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā theĀ Ā settingĀ Ā ofĀ Ā dusk.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā starsĀ Ā donātĀ Ā belongĀ Ā inĀ Ā theĀ Ā morningĀ Ā light.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā youāreĀ Ā beingĀ Ā dramatic.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā asĀ Ā ifĀ Ā youĀ Ā haveĀ Ā aĀ Ā villainousĀ Ā boneĀ Ā inĀ Ā yourĀ Ā body.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā youāreĀ Ā allĀ Ā theĀ Ā bestĀ Ā partsĀ Ā ofĀ Ā everyoneĀ Ā youāveĀ Ā everĀ Ā met,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā heĀ Ā meansĀ Ā itĀ Ā withĀ Ā allĀ Ā hisĀ Ā heartĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā kissesĀ Ā everyĀ Ā boneĀ Ā heĀ Ā couldĀ Ā setĀ Ā hisĀ Ā sightsĀ Ā on,Ā Ā Ā Ā nippingĀ Ā atĀ Ā theĀ Ā openĀ Ā collarboneĀ Ā asĀ Ā hisĀ Ā teethĀ Ā evenĀ Ā attemptĀ Ā toĀ Ā leaveĀ Ā imprints,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā remnantsĀ Ā ofĀ Ā himselfĀ Ā withinĀ Ā itsĀ Ā rigidity.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ifĀ Ā thisĀ Ā isĀ Ā allĀ Ā weāreĀ Ā goingĀ Ā toĀ Ā have,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā shallĀ Ā willĀ Ā itĀ Ā toĀ Ā liveĀ Ā withinĀ Ā youĀ Ā forever.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā selfishly,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā tirelessly,Ā Ā Ā Ā whollyĀ Ā onlyĀ Ā me.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā howĀ Ā terriblyĀ Ā cynical,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā unpotterĀ Ā ofĀ Ā you.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā whatĀ Ā happenedĀ Ā toĀ Ā theĀ Ā blindĀ Ā optimismĀ Ā ofĀ Ā aĀ Ā familyĀ Ā fullĀ Ā ofĀ Ā gryffindorsĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ Ā sparkĀ Ā inĀ Ā hisĀ Ā eyesĀ Ā glimmers,Ā Ā Ā Ā teaseĀ Ā slippingĀ Ā offĀ Ā hisĀ Ā tongueĀ Ā aĀ Ā silkenedĀ Ā reprieveĀ Ā fromĀ Ā theĀ Ā fateĀ Ā awaitingĀ Ā themĀ Ā beyondĀ Ā theĀ Ā guardedĀ Ā lands.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā (Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ Ā itāsĀ Ā notĀ Ā real,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā youĀ Ā donātĀ Ā existĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā iĀ Ā canātĀ Ā recallĀ Ā theĀ Ā lastĀ Ā timeĀ Ā iĀ Ā wasĀ Ā kissed.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā )Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ Ā youāreĀ Ā different,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā arenātĀ Ā you,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā loveĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā youāreĀ Ā clever,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā youĀ Ā expectĀ Ā theĀ Ā worstĀ Ā soĀ Ā youĀ Ā canĀ Ā guardĀ Ā yourĀ Ā heartĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā lockĀ Ā itĀ Ā awayĀ Ā fromĀ Ā meĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā doesnātĀ Ā seeĀ Ā evenĀ Ā aĀ Ā sliverĀ Ā ofĀ Ā resemblanceĀ Ā toĀ Ā theĀ Ā restĀ Ā ofĀ Ā albusāĀ Ā familyĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā notĀ Ā whenĀ Ā thereāsĀ Ā aĀ Ā beastĀ Ā beneathĀ Ā theĀ Ā boardsĀ Ā thatĀ Ā canĀ Ā beĀ Ā luredĀ Ā outĀ Ā ifĀ Ā heĀ Ā willsĀ Ā itĀ Ā to.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā soĀ Ā farĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā scorpiusĀ Ā hasĀ Ā neverĀ Ā knownĀ Ā failure,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā notĀ Ā whenĀ Ā theĀ Ā gameĀ Ā hasĀ Ā beenĀ Ā theĀ Ā onlyĀ Ā thingĀ Ā heāsĀ Ā everĀ Ā trulyĀ Ā known. Ā Ā
āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā amĀ Ā iĀ Ā supposedĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā someĀ Ā peopleĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā browĀ Ā quirkingĀ Ā inĀ Ā response,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā fakingĀ Ā offenceĀ Ā throughĀ Ā theĀ Ā scoffĀ Ā thatĀ Ā leavesĀ Ā him.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā hipsĀ Ā rollingĀ Ā inĀ Ā response,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā handĀ Ā snakingĀ Ā behindĀ Ā albusāsĀ Ā headĀ Ā toĀ Ā graspĀ Ā atĀ Ā darkenedĀ Ā locksĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā graspingĀ Ā itĀ Ā betweenĀ Ā hisĀ Ā fingers,Ā Ā Ā Ā tuggingĀ Ā asĀ Ā aĀ Ā reminderĀ Ā ofĀ Ā whoĀ Ā heāsĀ Ā with,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā whoĀ Ā reallyĀ Ā isĀ Ā inĀ Ā control.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā doĀ Ā loveĀ Ā itĀ Ā whenĀ Ā youĀ Ā tryĀ Ā toĀ Ā pretendĀ Ā youĀ Ā donātĀ Ā wantĀ Ā meĀ Ā allĀ Ā toĀ Ā yourself.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā likeĀ Ā youāreĀ Ā notĀ Ā justĀ Ā asĀ Ā selfishĀ Ā asĀ Ā iĀ Ā am.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā iāllĀ Ā remindĀ Ā youĀ Ā again,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā hmĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā notĀ Ā aĀ Ā promise,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā rather,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā aĀ Ā manifestation.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā whateverĀ Ā heĀ Ā wills,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā shallĀ Ā comeĀ Ā toĀ Ā be.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā whateverĀ Ā heĀ Ā wants,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā shallĀ Ā beĀ Ā his.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā thereĀ Ā isĀ Ā noĀ Ā godĀ Ā outĀ Ā thereĀ Ā withĀ Ā aĀ Ā greaterĀ Ā hungerĀ Ā forĀ Ā whatĀ Ā isnātĀ Ā hisĀ Ā thanĀ Ā theĀ Ā oneĀ Ā buryingĀ Ā hisĀ Ā headĀ Ā inĀ Ā theĀ Ā crookĀ Ā ofĀ Ā albusāĀ Ā neck,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā whisperingĀ Ā propheciesĀ Ā ofĀ Ā whatĀ Ā isĀ Ā toĀ Ā be.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā thereāsĀ Ā noĀ Ā oneĀ Ā inĀ Ā thisĀ Ā world,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā whoĀ Ā willĀ Ā beĀ Ā ableĀ Ā toĀ Ā touchĀ Ā youĀ Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā heĀ Ā starts,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā leavingĀ Ā aĀ Ā slow,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā calculatedĀ Ā kissesĀ Ā overĀ Ā everyĀ Ā patchĀ Ā ofĀ Ā unmarkedĀ Ā flesh.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā (Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā youāreĀ Ā noĀ Ā goodĀ Ā forĀ Ā me,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā baby,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā youāreĀ Ā noĀ Ā goodĀ Ā forĀ Ā meĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ Ā iĀ Ā wantĀ Ā you,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā wantĀ Ā you,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā iĀ Ā wantĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ).Ā Ā Ā soon,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā thereĀ Ā willĀ Ā beĀ Ā noĀ Ā placeĀ Ā thatĀ Ā hasnātĀ Ā beenĀ Ā touchedĀ Ā byĀ Ā himĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā makeĀ Ā youĀ Ā whineĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā caninesĀ Ā sinkingĀ Ā alongĀ Ā aĀ Ā blossomingĀ Ā bruiseĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¦.Ā Ā Ā aĀ Ā blazingĀ Ā redĀ Ā reminderĀ Ā ofĀ Ā howĀ Ā easilyĀ Ā salvationĀ Ā bleedsĀ Ā intoĀ Ā sacrilege.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā lipsĀ Ā partingĀ Ā fromĀ Ā albusāĀ Ā skinĀ Ā forĀ Ā aĀ Ā moment,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā onlyĀ Ā toĀ Ā hoverĀ Ā overĀ Ā theĀ Ā otherāsĀ Ā lipsĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā almost,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ Ā notĀ Ā quiteĀ Ā yet.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā -Ā Ā Ā andĀ Ā haveĀ Ā youĀ Ā beggingĀ Ā forĀ Ā meĀ Ā toĀ Ā fuckĀ Ā you,Ā Ā Ā Ā ruinĀ Ā youĀ Ā fromĀ Ā theĀ Ā insideĀ Ā out.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā noĀ Ā oneĀ Ā butĀ Ā me.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā doĀ Ā youĀ Ā understandĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā ?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā
heĀ canātĀ rememberĀ whenĀ heĀ driftedĀ offĀ toĀ sleep,Ā butĀ albusĀ opensĀ hisĀ eyesĀ toĀ seeĀ anĀ unfamiliarĀ room.Ā heāsĀ worriedĀ aboutĀ whereĀ heĀ isĀ forĀ aĀ briefĀ moment,Ā butĀ thenĀ heĀ feelsĀ theĀ warmthĀ fromĀ theĀ other,Ā andĀ anyĀ panicĀ isĀ instantlyĀ gone.Ā albusĀ shiftsĀ toĀ beĀ closerĀ toĀ him,Ā memoriesĀ ofĀ theĀ twoĀ ofĀ themĀ fromĀ earlierĀ instantlyĀ replaying,Ā andĀ alĀ strugglesĀ toĀ believeĀ itĀ wasnātĀ justĀ anotherĀ dream,Ā butĀ theĀ litteringĀ ofĀ bruisesĀ andĀ marksĀ overĀ bothĀ chestsĀ areĀ evidenceĀ enoughĀ thatĀ itĀ isnāt.Ā heĀ turnsĀ intoĀ theĀ other,Ā lipsĀ findingĀ hisĀ collarboneĀ likeĀ itāsĀ aĀ ritualĀ theyĀ have,Ā andĀ forĀ aĀ second,Ā alĀ wishesĀ itĀ doesnātĀ haveĀ toĀ end.Ā butĀ heĀ knowsĀ thatĀ heāsĀ beenĀ goneĀ forĀ tooĀ longĀ atĀ thisĀ point,Ā andĀ theĀ realityĀ ofĀ theirĀ situation,Ā noĀ matterĀ howĀ farĀ awayĀ itĀ is,Ā isĀ alwaysĀ goingĀ toĀ beĀ inĀ theĀ backĀ ofĀ alāsĀ mind.Ā heĀ wishesĀ thatĀ heĀ couldĀ beĀ likeĀ scorpius,Ā thinkingĀ ofĀ justĀ theĀ momentĀ andĀ enjoyingĀ it,Ā butĀ heĀ canātĀ findĀ itĀ inĀ him.Ā ācanĀ iĀ askĀ youĀ something?āĀ alĀ asksĀ betweenĀ kisses,Ā blueĀ eyesĀ meetingĀ theĀ otherāsĀ finally.Ā thereāsĀ tensionĀ inĀ hisĀ stomachĀ asĀ heĀ thinksĀ aboutĀ whatĀ heāsĀ goingĀ toĀ sayĀ next,Ā andĀ heĀ doesnātĀ waitĀ forĀ scorĀ toĀ sayĀ anythingĀ else.Ā āisĀ thisĀ whatĀ itāsĀ goingĀ toĀ haveĀ toĀ beĀ like?āĀ alĀ finallyĀ says,Ā andĀ asĀ muchĀ asĀ heĀ wantsĀ toĀ continueĀ justĀ touchingĀ scorpius,Ā heĀ hasĀ toĀ practiceĀ someĀ selfĀ control.Ā āyouĀ havingĀ toĀ sneakĀ meĀ awayĀ toĀ someĀ estateĀ soĀ weĀ donātĀ getĀ caught?āĀ asĀ muchĀ asĀ heĀ hatesĀ it,Ā thereāsĀ evidenceĀ ofĀ theĀ hurtĀ thatĀ heĀ feelsĀ ifĀ thatāsĀ trueĀ inĀ hisĀ voice,Ā andĀ partĀ ofĀ himĀ knowsĀ thatĀ itāsĀ theirĀ onlyĀ solution,Ā butĀ heāsĀ hopingĀ thatĀ scorĀ willĀ tellĀ himĀ different.Ā Ā
NIGHT DIRVE. ALL CRUISE. NO BREAKS
āDriving awayā, by Le Castle Vania & Sunsun; // āDriving away from home (Jimās Tune)ā, by Itās Inmaterial; // āDriveā, by Halsey
The pressure in his chest hardly eased at what was so clearly an attempt to reassure him. Harry would have shook his head in protest, but then Albus was throwing himself forward, and Harry's hands reached out on instinct to hold on tightly in return. There was a voice in his head telling him to be careful, to be gentle, but he found he couldn't, needed to have Albus this close, the way Harry had held him when he was a child, swearing then and there that he would never let anything touch him, that he would always protect him. Perhaps if he held him tightly enough now, Harry could still convince himself, could still believe in that. "Don't say that," he said fiercely, pullling back only enough to lean his forehead againt his son's. "None of this is your fault. I should have made you go home. We should have had - a better way to get everyone out. But the what ifs, Al - I've spent a lifetime battling them. I don't want to see you doing it. I won't see you do it. This wasn't on you. Promise me, you'll remember that?" He waited, and watched to see Al had heard it, knew it. Because there was more to say. And it wasn't going to be easy, not for either of them. But if anyone was to bear responsibility, he would not let it be Albus. It had been on his orders. It was on his hands, on his head.
"We are, yes -James, Lily, your mother, all the cousins, but ..." Harry broke off. He had been determined to deliver the news himself, had allowed no one else to do so. Albus would hear it from him. But it was difficult, all the same, to look into his trusting eyes and say it. Harry had never sought hero worship, but he had to admit, the utter faith, the complete trust with which Albus had always looked at him was something he depended on. But it wasn't something he could spare himself. Harry owed this. He steeled himself, and continued, a stark grief behind the determination in his eyes. "Xue is dead. He was brave. As any of us who knew him would have expected. It looks like they... tortured him for information. He held out for a very long time." Harry hated himself for saying the words, an empty eulogy for a boy he had known almost his whole life, who had been so much more than clinical words about bravery, words Harry had recited so many times now, for so many fallen. A boy Albus' age, his friend. It could have been him. Harry was so terribly grateful that it wasn't, and so terribly guilty for the relief in his heart. He cradled Albus' face in his hands, unwilling to let go. "I know he meant a lot to you."
alĀ doesnātĀ meanĀ to,Ā heĀ reallyĀ doesnāt,Ā butĀ atĀ hisĀ fatherāsĀ embrace,Ā holdingĀ himĀ tighterĀ thanĀ heĀ hasĀ inĀ aĀ longĀ time,Ā albusĀ becomesĀ undone,Ā andĀ heĀ finallyĀ letsĀ theĀ tearsĀ flowĀ asĀ heĀ criesĀ intoĀ hisĀ fatherāsĀ shoulder.Ā heĀ didnātĀ realizeĀ justĀ howĀ frightenedĀ heĀ hadĀ been.Ā theĀ focusĀ hadĀ onlyĀ beenĀ onĀ rescuingĀ hisĀ sisterĀ andĀ otherĀ familyĀ members,Ā andĀ forĀ once,Ā albusĀ sharedĀ theĀ sameĀ fearlessĀ courageĀ asĀ theĀ onesĀ mostĀ importantĀ toĀ him,Ā butĀ afterĀ beingĀ soĀ closeĀ toĀ beingĀ oneĀ ofĀ theĀ onesĀ lost,Ā alĀ doesnātĀ knowĀ howĀ heāsĀ beenĀ inĀ theirĀ family,Ā alwaysĀ feelingĀ misplaced.Ā heĀ blinksĀ awayĀ someĀ ofĀ theĀ tears,Ā someĀ stillĀ fallingĀ asĀ hisĀ fatherĀ speaksĀ toĀ him.Ā andĀ heĀ knowsĀ heāsĀ onlyĀ tryingĀ toĀ comfortĀ him,Ā butĀ thereāsĀ stillĀ thatĀ guilt,Ā theĀ oneĀ thatĀ makesĀ himĀ feelĀ likeĀ heĀ shouldĀ haveĀ neverĀ goneĀ toĀ if it only ended inĀ hurtingĀ hisĀ familyĀ thisĀ way.Ā butĀ albusĀ nodsĀ hisĀ headĀ anyways,Ā snifflingĀ asĀ heĀ finallyĀ reachesĀ upĀ toĀ wipeĀ awayĀ someĀ ofĀ theĀ tears.Ā aĀ softĀ āokayāĀ isĀ hisĀ onlyĀ response,Ā andĀ heāllĀ workĀ onĀ it,Ā heĀ trulyĀ will,Ā butĀ itāsĀ notĀ justĀ somethingĀ thatĀ oneĀ conversationĀ willĀ beĀ ableĀ toĀ fix.Ā Ā heĀ instantlyĀ knowsĀ byĀ theĀ changeĀ inĀ hisĀ fatherāsĀ demeanorĀ andĀ toneĀ thatĀ thereĀ wasĀ lossĀ atĀ theĀ manor.Ā itāsĀ somethingĀ thatĀ heāsĀ hadĀ toĀ experienceĀ hisĀ entireĀ life,Ā experienceĀ lossĀ ofĀ importantĀ peopleĀ inĀ theĀ orderĀ thatĀ arenātĀ familyĀ byĀ blood,Ā butĀ theyĀ mightĀ asĀ wellĀ be.Ā alĀ isĀ goingĀ throughĀ theĀ ranks mentally,Ā andĀ heĀ hatesĀ howĀ heāsĀ alreadyĀ listingĀ inĀ hisĀ headĀ thoseĀ theyĀ mightĀ haveĀ lost,Ā butĀ asĀ harryĀ speaksĀ again,Ā theĀ nameĀ xueĀ comingĀ fromĀ hisĀ lips,Ā andĀ alĀ startsĀ shakingĀ hisĀ head,Ā theĀ tearsĀ alreadyĀ beginningĀ toĀ fallĀ again.Ā hisĀ stomachĀ turnsĀ atĀ theĀ mentionĀ ofĀ torture,Ā andĀ hisĀ faceĀ blanches,Ā becomingĀ paleĀ againĀ asĀ ifĀ allĀ theĀ colorĀ heāsĀ regainedĀ sinceĀ healingĀ isĀ goneĀ again.Ā theĀ ideaĀ ofĀ someoneĀ likeĀ xue,Ā someoneĀ soĀ good,Ā havingĀ anĀ endsĀ thatĀ cruel.Ā heāsĀ speechlessĀ forĀ aĀ moment,Ā havingĀ troubleĀ believingĀ it,Ā andĀ ifĀ itĀ wasĀ anyoneĀ elseĀ besidesĀ hisĀ father,Ā heĀ wouldĀ haveĀ calledĀ themĀ aĀ liar,Ā tellingĀ themĀ toĀ getĀ out.Ā āitāsĀ notĀ fair,āĀ albusĀ says,Ā hisĀ voiceĀ small and crackingĀ asĀ heĀ leansĀ intoĀ hisĀ fatherāsĀ handsĀ onceĀ more,Ā aĀ fistĀ bunchingĀ theĀ sheetsĀ asĀ heĀ triesĀ toĀ groundĀ himselfĀ withĀ theĀ news.Ā ādoĀ weĀ ...Ā doĀ weĀ knowĀ whichĀ onesĀ didĀ it?āĀ heĀ knowsĀ itāsĀ tooĀ earlyĀ forĀ theĀ orderĀ toĀ haveĀ beenĀ investigatingĀ intoĀ it,Ā butĀ heĀ wantsĀ toĀ know,Ā needsĀ toĀ know.Ā albusĀ isnātĀ aĀ fighter,Ā heĀ doesnātĀ wantĀ toĀ be,Ā butĀ heāsĀ startingĀ toĀ thinkĀ thatĀ maybeĀ itāsĀ becomingĀ aĀ timeĀ whereĀ heĀ doesnātĀ haveĀ aĀ choice.Ā Ā
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"why?" lys asked, a sort of queer look on his face. it was almost a smile but far from pleased. "why?" he whispered to himself, casting a look at the candies in albus' hands before he sighed and, finally, finally admitted defeat. "i'm sure your siblings are a bit tedious but they're worried about you." but he wasn't here to give albus a lecture about his siblings. up until now, he had just been here for a simple visit, a friend to a friend visiting in hopes of lifting spirits. but now... well, he supposed that he had a point to prove now. "and i am not sure how to say this without revealing too much; because i worry so much that i might make myself a nuisance in your eyes." but despite this, he was content to carry on because albus' complete lack of trust and understanding was driving a nail into his heart each time his friend mentioned something of not understanding why lys was here to begin with.
"you're loved beyond measure, albus, and maybe you refuse to see it because it scares you; just how much you're wanted or loved. i can see how it might be scary for someone if... if someone harbored such feelings for them as i do you." he couldn't look at albus just then and his eyes lingered on the floor, the heat in his face unmeasured and the blush unmistakable. "and i have no notions that you harbor the same feelings that i do for you; that's not what this is about. rather, i'm so..." frustrated, he let out a groan and his face fell into his hands, the next words coming out muffled. "i'm so upset that you don't see the people around you clearly; that you don't see their feelings for you. that people would unwind themselves just to be in your presence, that people would go to incredible lengths just to look favorably in your eyes. i have gone to incredible lengths to do just the same, you see?" and he looked up at last to find albus' eyes, or try to at the very least. he felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest at any minute and he felt, not for the first time in albus' presence, that he might shake from his skin and leave behind a mold of himself at any second. his nerves were so frazzled that the shaking was back in his hands and he worried he would be thrown out at any second by the injured man. "i know that perhaps i speak out of turn but you're my best friend and i've spent so many..." cutting himself off, he swallowed and shook his head, moving to stand. he began to pace then, a section of the floor from the door to albus' bed before he turned around again and did the same. "i've spent so much time trying to hide my feelings for you as your friend and your confidant. i've tried so many things, albus, in the hopes that you might see me for who i am when you're around.." but it was for naught as albus couldn't really get out of his own head to see what truly lie in front of him. "i'm not saying its all your fault; i was never honest about my feelings and that's on me. i'm not even being totally honest in the hopes that you might look at me the same way one day; i just hope that you know..." he stopped in the center of the room, his eyes taking in the different things in it before slowly, completely and utterly spent, he looked at albus. "i just hope you know now that you're loved beyond measure, without expectations."
lightĀ browsĀ furrowĀ togetherĀ atĀ theĀ changeĀ inĀ demeanor,Ā andĀ he starts an apology,Ā oneĀ forĀ notĀ meaningĀ toĀ ...Ā heĀ isnātĀ sureĀ whatĀ heĀ wouldĀ beĀ apologizingĀ for,Ā soĀ heĀ doesnāt.Ā instead,Ā hisĀ eyesĀ watch,Ā strugglingĀ toĀ rememberĀ aĀ timeĀ whereĀ hisĀ friendĀ lookedĀ likeĀ heĀ wasĀ strugglingĀ withĀ communicatingĀ something.Ā normally,Ā thatāsĀ him withĀ lysĀ isĀ thereĀ toĀ helpĀ himĀ workĀ throughĀ it.Ā ālys,Ā youĀ canĀ neverĀ beĀ aĀ nuisanceĀ toĀ me,āĀ heĀ addsĀ beforeĀ lysĀ isĀ ableĀ toĀ addĀ anything, unsureĀ whereĀ thisĀ isĀ going,Ā butĀ heĀ wantsĀ lysanderĀ toĀ knowĀ thatĀ outĀ ofĀ everyoneĀ inĀ hisĀ life,Ā heāsĀ beenĀ oneĀ ofĀ theĀ fewĀ whereĀ heāsĀ neverĀ dreadedĀ seeingĀ themĀ orĀ havingĀ aĀ conversationĀ withĀ them.Ā Ā butĀ asĀ heĀ continues,Ā albusĀ stops.Ā heāsĀ sureĀ thatĀ heāsĀ frozenĀ inĀ placeĀ onĀ hisĀ bedĀ becauseĀ thereāsĀ ...Ā thereāsĀ noĀ wayĀ thisĀ isĀ happening.Ā alĀ isĀ convincedĀ thisĀ isĀ broughtĀ onĀ byĀ allĀ theĀ medicineĀ andĀ potionsĀ becauseĀ ifĀ itĀ isnāt,Ā itĀ meansĀ thatĀ heĀ hasĀ justĀ wasteĀ ...Ā soĀ muchĀ timeĀ worryingĀ aboutĀ himselfĀ andĀ theĀ imageĀ heĀ hasĀ ofĀ himself.Ā heĀ isnātĀ sureĀ whyĀ heāsĀ alwaysĀ beenĀ soĀ scaredĀ ofĀ someoneĀ caringĀ forĀ him,Ā whyĀ itāsĀ alwaysĀ suchĀ aĀ struggleĀ forĀ himĀ toĀ believeĀ thatĀ someoneĀ wouldĀ chooseĀ himĀ outĀ ofĀ everyoneĀ aroundĀ them.Ā itāsĀ partĀ ofĀ theĀ reasonĀ thatĀ whenĀ albusĀ feltĀ anythingĀ beyondĀ friendshipĀ towardsĀ lysander,Ā heĀ pushedĀ itĀ deepĀ down,Ā undoubtedlyĀ causingĀ aĀ riftĀ betweenĀ theĀ twoĀ ofĀ themĀ onĀ accident. alĀ canātĀ helpĀ butĀ toĀ thinkĀ ofĀ everythingĀ lysanderĀ hasĀ doneĀ forĀ himĀ inĀ theĀ past andĀ thatĀ moment,Ā throughĀ aĀ differentĀ lens,Ā andĀ evenĀ theĀ thoughtĀ ofĀ himĀ atĀ oneĀ timeĀ reciprocatingĀ alāsĀ feelingsĀ makesĀ hisĀ stomachĀ fillĀ withĀ butterflies.Ā butĀ heĀ knowsĀ itāsĀ notĀ theĀ momentĀ forĀ that.Ā heāsĀ probablyĀ tooĀ lateĀ forĀ anythingĀ toĀ happen,Ā thereāsĀ tooĀ muchĀ atĀ stake.Ā whenĀ theirĀ eyesĀ meet,Ā alĀ feelsĀ hisĀ faceĀ heat,Ā debatingĀ onĀ comingĀ cleanĀ asĀ well,Ā tellingĀ lysĀ howĀ heĀ wasĀ alwaysĀ tooĀ scaredĀ toĀ sayĀ anything. lysanderĀ isĀ soĀ good,Ā heĀ knowsĀ heĀ canĀ neverĀ holdĀ aĀ lightĀ toĀ him.Ā butĀ alĀ wondersĀ whatĀ theĀ pointĀ ofĀ itĀ wouldĀ be.Ā heĀ stillĀ believesĀ thatĀ lysanderĀ isĀ betterĀ offĀ piningĀ afterĀ him,Ā orĀ atĀ leastĀ havingĀ pinedĀ afterĀ him.Ā ālysander,āĀ heĀ saysĀ finally.Ā afterĀ theĀ spiralingĀ ofĀ thoughts,Ā thatāsĀ theĀ bestĀ thingĀ thatĀ heĀ couldĀ comeĀ upĀ with.Ā alĀ triesĀ standingĀ asĀ lysĀ movesĀ away,Ā andĀ partĀ ofĀ himĀ getsĀ upĀ soĀ quicklyĀ becauseĀ heāsĀ afraidĀ thatĀ lysanderĀ wouldĀ walkĀ outĀ withoutĀ himĀ havingĀ saidĀ anything.Ā butĀ heĀ stumblesĀ slightly,Ā feelingĀ dizzyĀ fromĀ movingĀ soĀ quicklyĀ whenĀ heāsĀ beenĀ bedridden.Ā alĀ instinctivelyĀ reachesĀ forĀ lysanderĀ forĀ steadiness,Ā andĀ heĀ knowsĀ itāsĀ notĀ fairĀ toĀ him. alĀ hatesĀ himselfĀ forĀ nowĀ feelingĀ comfortableĀ withĀ touchĀ afterĀ knowingĀ hisĀ friendāsĀ feelingsĀ forĀ him.Ā āshit,Ā sorry.āĀ heĀ blinksĀ hisĀ visionĀ clearĀ beforeĀ lookingĀ upĀ atĀ lysĀ again,Ā andĀ heāsĀ neverĀ beenĀ moreĀ afraidĀ ofĀ talkingĀ toĀ him.Ā āiĀ justĀ ...Ā iāmĀ sorryĀ youĀ hadĀ toĀ goĀ throughĀ thatĀ onĀ yourĀ own.āĀ itāsĀ theĀ lastĀ thingĀ heĀ wouldĀ haveĀ wantedĀ forĀ hisĀ friend.Ā heĀ pauses,Ā blueĀ eyesĀ meetingĀ lysanderāsĀ ownĀ onceĀ again.Ā āmaybeĀ thisĀ willĀ beĀ somethingĀ weĀ canĀ laughĀ about,Ā laterĀ on.āĀ hisĀ voiceĀ isĀ shaky,Ā butĀ hisĀ graspĀ onĀ lysāsĀ forearmĀ staysĀ firm.Ā āhowĀ dumbĀ iĀ amĀ thatĀ iĀ wasnātĀ ableĀ toĀ seeĀ rightĀ inĀ frontĀ ofĀ me.āĀ heĀ pauses,Ā andĀ forĀ onceĀ heĀ wishesĀ heĀ wasĀ asĀ braveĀ asĀ theĀ restĀ ofĀ hisĀ familyĀ membersĀ toĀ actuallyĀ sayĀ whatĀ heĀ meansĀ andĀ howĀ heĀ feels.Ā butĀ heĀ isnāt,Ā soĀ heĀ willĀ ratherĀ stayĀ silentĀ toĀ notĀ causeĀ anyĀ moreĀ heartbreakĀ forĀ eitherĀ ofĀ them.Ā ābutĀ ...Ā thankĀ youĀ forĀ tellingĀ me,Ā andĀ thankĀ youĀ forĀ ...Ā helpingĀ meĀ seeĀ myselfĀ inĀ aĀ betterĀ light.āĀ Ā
THE FALL | 1.01
