With Love...

Disclaimers

All suggestions are my own thoughts and feelings about my own partner and relationship. I have not, do not, and will not ever take another suggestion blog’s work as my own. Submissions from followers are tagged “submission” and I will never take credit for someone’s submission. If you think I am stealing another blog’s posts or there are any other sourcing issues, please message me directly.

I’m not a therapist and do not claim to be. I’m just a stoner college student giving third-party relationship advice on a dead website.

Any advice I give is purely based on my own thoughts, opinions, and experiences. I try to be objective at the same time, but at the end of the day, I’m going to go with what I feel is the best answer. If you disagree with or are upset by my advice, please ignore it and move on. I can’t tell you what you want to hear just to make you feel better; that doesn’t help anyone.

I’m not responsible for the outcome of your situation if you choose to apply the advice I give. I’m not a fairy godmother, so I can’t fix things for you. Please don’t blame me for things not working. I don’t like being harsh about this, but I just want to make this known and understood.

Rules

Homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny/misandry, and any other sort of discrimination is prohibited in your reblogs, replies, and tags. If I find anyone breaking this rule to any degree, you will be blocked on the spot, no questions asked. It’s not 1950 anymore. You’re better than this.

If you find my advice or my suggestions to be problematic in any way, please message me directly and tell me why, so I know to correct myself and/or delete the problematic post in question.

DD/LG blogs will be blocked immediately if I find any interaction with my posts whatsoever. This is not kinkshaming. This is me wanting no part of a community that sexualizes children.

No asks about family situations and relationships. These will be deleted, as I am not in any position to help with matters like these. I’m still trying to figure out my own family lmao

Asks about sex and sexual relationships are allowed, but please do not be overly graphic in your descriptions. Sex asks are reserved for those 18 or older**. I will tag all sex-related posts with “tw sex” for those who wish to avoid them.

I won’t post submissions about breakups, rejections, or any other sorrowful situations. I want this blog to be a happier place for people. I’m really sorry for this one, and I can still be here to support you if you want to direct message me.

If you have any questions about the rules, please send a message! I don’t want to discourage anyone from interacting with this blog.

** If you are a minor looking for resources relating to things like sexual assault or birth control, please see the resources below. If you have any other questions or situations you need resources for, please message me directly.

FAQ

This is a list of the topics asked very, very frequently and have a quick answer to them. If I find your ask to be redundant and think it can be answered on this list, it will be deleted. This is not meant to ignore you; this is to keep ask traffic lower so that I can answer more people instead of repeating the same answer for one general topic.

“Would it be wrong of me to get revenge on [person] for [reason]?” - Yes. I don’t ever condone revenge for any reason when it comes to relationships. Don’t stoop to their level. Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing you’re angry/upset with them. The best way to say “fuck you” to someone is to cut them off and move on, because you’re taking away the power they held over you.

“I’m in an LDR and my partner isn’t reaponding to my texts like they used to.” - Communicate. LDRs have no room for not responding to texts and calls because that’s the only way you get to connect. If they still aren’t willing to talk after multiple attempts to discuss the issue(s) at hand, you can give them an ultimatum or just leave.

“How do I get my crush to notice me?” - Talk to them. If you’re wanting to get their attention, reach out to them.

“How can I start a conversation with my crush?” - Casually compliment them, find something in the environment to comment on or send them a meme or something. It’s not creepy to start a conversation, and it could lead to a new friendship or something more! Just don’t rush things.

“How do I impress my crush?” - Be yourself. Seriously. If you try to be anything other than you, or if you do things you usually never do or don’t like to do, it won’t end well. If you did manage to reel in your crush and start dating, it would be under false pretenses and likely wouldn’t last long.

“I confessed to my crush, but they rejected me.” - Accept their answer. No means no, no exceptions. The worst thing you could possibly do is keep trying to get them to say yes. If they offer to stay friends after they reject you, it’s your choice to keep them in your life or to move on.

“I have a crush on someone who is already in a monogamous relationship.” - There’s nothing wrong with having a crush. What matters is that you do not, under any circumstances, interfere with their relationship. It will hurt to see them with someone else, but if you love them, you should respect their choices and who/what brings them happiness.

“I have/my partner has a crush on someone else.” - Simple, fleeting “crushes” (squishes, maybe?) just happen sometimes. As long as you don’t act on them, they’re generally harmless. If you/your partner has a serious crush on someone, though, it could be time to communicate again and reevaluate your relationship.

“I have a crush on someone, but they’re [sexuality, gender].” - In the same way they respect your gender and sexuality, you need to respect theirs, too. If they express interest outside of their sexual orientation, you can be there to support them, but do not force things unless you want to push them away or break your bond with them.

If you feel your question isn’t answered here depite being related to something on the list, or you need more specific advice, please don’t hesitate to reach out after you have read this list thoroughly and completely!

Resources (USA)

Crisis text line: Text HELLO to 741741

Domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)

Sexual assault hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)

Suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

Substance abuse services (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-4357 (HELP)

Trevor Lifeline (LGBTQ mental health crisis hotline): 1-866-488-7386

Eating disorder helpline: (Call or Text) 1-800-931-2237, via NEDA

Dating issues/abuse: via loveisrespect.org

Birth control information: via Planned Parenthood

If anyone has resources for the UK, Canada, Australia, or any other country, please let me know. I want to only have the best and most reliable ones here, and it’s difficult to know which ones to include. Thank you in advance!

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About Me

I started this blog in 2018 to express my feelings for a guy I had a massive crush on who eventually became my boyfriend. We have been together for 7 years now and are living happily in Colorado! My side of our story can be found here 💕

I’m happy to make people smile with this blog; you guys are so kind, and it makes every second of writing worth it!

As for my situation... it's not a breakup. I almost wish it was. And of course, I could make it one. I probably should. I'm finding myself in a position where, if any of my friends were going through this, I would be screaming at them to leave and wondering why the fuck they're holding on.

I want to write about it. Extensively. Desperately. But something in me is hesitant to do so. I've become so skilled in ignoring my problems and dissociating my way through everything over the last 10 months of my life that I feel like writing about it will force me to acknowledge reality. And I'm not sure if I'm ready for that emotionally, mentally, socially, and hell, financially. Even if I know deep down that I need to.

What I've been experiencing has changed my view on love, trust, relationships both romantic and platonic, and even myself as a person entirely. It forced me to question my sexuality again as old as I am in my late 20s thinking I had things all figured out. I thought I had my partner figured out, but 7 years in, it's like I knew nothing about him at all. It sucks.

I answered so many relationship asks here in the past and thought I, again, had it all figured out. Now I wonder if I had any business giving advice. I wonder what advice I would give myself if I asked something here. I wonder if I would even follow my own advice.

I'm sorry for being so vague. I've been holding so much in for so long that I don't even know how to introduce it. I was hesitant to even call to the void by posting because I didn't want to violate this little sweetheart blog with such misery. But at the same time, maybe I was hoping someone was there to take the edge off of my crushing loneliness. And anon, it seems like you were that someone.

If people don't mind the revival of this blog for such purposes, I might be able to slowly start writing about it. I just don't want to upset or disappoint anyone.