Fire Lily

“Hahaha, you are absolutely trying to be disrespectful.” he laughed, finding it sweet she thought he could even manage sainthood. He held her gaze before biting back his smile. It was threatening to overtake his entire face if she kept it up. James felt grateful for the firewhiskey making his cheeks light up when he blushed.

“Good cause if it was him I’d… Pray. For him.” he finished, trying to be more saintly with the hint of a smirk on the corner of his lips. He watched her for a long moment, seeing her for the first time. “Can I say something? And don’t take offense, I promise I’m not pissing about here… But who cares, Lily. I think you’re incredibly awesome, even without being brave or your best. I know in like, studies, you have to try your hardest. But, with me, or other students who aren’t looking up to you? Fuck ‘em.” he traced the bottle, about to knock it back. “Hm. Is that so…” he was already scheming up a plan to get his parents involved. Perhaps even asking some of the other wizarding families he knew cared about academia. “Um, so-somewhat. Muggle Studies- History- You know.” he chuckled, trying to skirt past the slip ups. He smiled back, looking through the glass bottle to keep from staring at her again. “I can’t have you falling for me now, Evans, not after we just became friends.” he joked, winking at her playfully before placing the bottle down. Wanting to give her his full undivided attention. To show he was, in fact, listening. Even if he was a pureblood.

“ME?!” she whisper shouted in shock. “I would never.” She said, but after she had laughed, her cheeks lowered and revealed a sincere smile. She had never thought he was that bad, he just was immature and had dickish tendencies. She moved to readjust her hands around her glass, giving him a slight glance upwards before back down. 

“I thought we were moving past the whole alpha male, defending a gals honour and all that.” She said, moving to raise her glass to take another sip. She listened to what he was suggesting. “Yes but James, and remember, we’re not taking offense here, but it’s different for you. You have a level of privilege that you can’t understand, because you’ve never needed to. You’re from a well off family, with a high status and a level of power. It is easier for you to say fuck them because you have the option to do it without getting immediately attacked for it. Mentally, verbally, physically. I don’t dislike you for it, but my god, the amount of times I have envied you James Potter. I think that’s why I had such a how do you say it- stick up my arse when whenever we would talk. I was mad, I thought it was at you but in reality...it was at the system. While things are starting to change, they still have a long way to go before I feel safe taking down my guard.” she said. 

a chat and a wine || m & l

“What do they know about tradition? Their fashion sense tells me that much.” She awkwardly fixed her jean jacket, another fashion recyclable that her brother had bestowed upon her. She fidgeted with the hems, laughter filling the room at Lily’s comments. “How boring.” 

“Is that right? How do I know you won’t forget that promise when you’re up to your elbows in books?” 

She grinned at the picture she painted- although Lily was studious she didn’t do it in a way that most people would- she simply enjoyed and thirsted for knowledge. This pretty much meant that the girl fostered a stronger love of learning, something that much to Marlene’s disappointment, did not flow so easily for her. 

“I wasn’t worried. Honestly. Part of me knew the dickhead would fuck it up.” She took another swig of the crimson liquid, savouring the taste for a moment before swallowing. “Yes well, his cock and balls means he already knows more than us.”

“What do you know about tradition?” She said, but not in the way she thought that Marlene was not bright. She would never speak to Marlene in such a way. Instead it was complete and utter curiosity. “Mm.” She said, looking the girl up and down. “You’re right, you look thousand of times better.” She admitted. 

“I mean if you would let me I would do any number of swears on it.” She said, moving to readjust in the bed, giving her more space to stretch out or fidget. 

“Haha, no, that I’m up to nothing but good now.” he grinned at her knowing the remainder of the line. His gaze lingered on her for a bit too long as he blinked slowly, bringing the bottle up to his lips to cut the longing glance off. What the heck was he doing here. This was such a strange encounter. Nothing like he was used to. “But you are. Why has someone said you aren’t?” he asked, cocking a brow at her phrasing. “Was it Dearborn?” he moved to look back at her, turning his entire body to give her his full and undivided attention. “You’re great at so many things and you don’t back down from anyone putting you down- It’s… Inspiring.” he felt his cheeks heating up, unsure if it was the alcohol or the blush spreading across his face. “Ah, right. That’s how muggles say it, yeah? I always get my words jumbled. But I’m learning.” he beamed a little, proud his idea had come across even though his words didn’t. “I’m surprised you aren’t already a professor here by this point.” he smiled, slowly, his eyes sparkling with a hint of that mischief, but not enough to be discouraging. It was a friendly cunning. “Certainly sound like one already.” he teased.

“I mean this in a non disrespectful way, but I am ridiculously curious about how long being nothing but good works.” She said lightly. “Because with your stubbornness I believe you could become an absolute saint.” She said, giving him a sincere smile. Her eyes gazed into his, for a few seconds longer than they ever had before. 

“No, it wasn’t Dearborn.” She said, though it was the closest his jealousy had sounded like concern. “You say never backing down like its easy, it’s not when there’s so much on the line. I often feel like even one slip off will prove them all right.” she said. She moved to drink more from the glass. “You know the old wizarding families tried to get my valedictorian title taken away from me.” She said looking down. “Apparently they do it whenever a muggle born gets the title, but it happens so rarely.” She said, licking her lips lightly. 

James visibly sank with each one of his old oneliners. His face as scarlet as the crimson red of his letterman jacket. “I can’t believe any of those didn’t work on you. Clearly they are all good and you just are immune to my charm.” he joked, laughing at his past self’s attempts. “No… I’m really quite- I promise, I won’t do any of that anymore. These kissable lips are only for uttering spells I’m practicing now. Solemnly swear.” “I would like to think them rising to the challenge of holding a flame to the wonderous Lily Evans. Everyone knows you’re quite the brilliant witch of this age.” he complimented, but it wasn’t about her perfect smile or eyes. The tone suggested a respect she wasn’t aware of. A side he hadn’t shown before. “You’re very kind for your own good, Evans.” he chuckled, biting his lower lip to suck out the firewhiskey that clung to them. His brow furrowing a little at her words. “I don’t see them as conquests… They’re respectable peers now.” he smiled, meaning it, but hearing himself say the words he’d only thought was such a strange thing to become accustom to. It was also funny to him that James Potter was stating such a thing. Sounding almost offended.

“Clearly! and your best stuff wasted on an ungrateful party.” She said, not wanting to make him feel bad. He seemed to be different now, though she had thought that before. But she knew it wasn’t impossible for people to grow. Unfortunately some people decided to shrink, like Severus was doing. “Solemnly Swear it? no being up to no good?” she said, having heard the line whispered in corridors, she never saw anyone saying it though. 

“I am not so sure that comment is aimed at my brilliance as much as it is a surprise.” She said, her voice getting a little quiet as she said it. She was surprised she mentioned it, most time she tried to keep quiet about the inequality and prejudice. However as she was growing older it was becoming harder to ignore. It was getting worse and if she did not speak out about it she felt others would suffer. 

a chat and a wine || m & l

“Is that so?” Truth be told, Marlene enjoyed giving herself the image of being confident- sometimes it was so ingrained in the girl that she didn’t believe she was anything but. Moments on her own though tended to make one question, and if anything it probably answered all the questions about the girl needing some company. “It would be a boring job, huh?”

Marlene’s smile grew contagiously on her face as the girl sat closer. She was playful in her pouting as Lily mentioned not being able to give her the brunt of the attention all of the time. 

“But I’m so important.” Marlene smiled, although she understood the case. She was one of four, and with younger children Marlene was happy settling into the cracks of her family foundation. It, of course, meant not a lot of time focused on her- but usually that was what she preferred. “I’m just kidding… you know I’m okay with that. Caradoc Dearborn on the other hand…”

She took a nice, hearty swig.

“Oh the absolute worst. You would have to deal with stuffy old members of the wizarding community telling you that traditional is best, even when tradition is the reason their system was messed up in the first place. Not to mention the clothes. Grey suits and robes constantly? bowler hats?” She said, having researched the Minister’s and noting that they became blank canvases that the people projected on instead of having their own personalities or beliefs. They were much like the Tory party. 

“You are the first person I will bring my attention to when I have time to give attention. I will run into your dorm...or simply open the door to mine and you can charge right in. We can listen to records.”  she said, moving to caress her cheek. 

“Oh, did I always go around making proposals every time we even planned to do something? No wonder you never hung out with me.” he chuckled, embarrassed by his past antics. His head hanging low to show his regret. “Shit, sorry. I promise not to do anything strange. If you could help me get my shit together I’d actually be grateful.” he meant it, too, his eyes didn’t seem to hold any mischief in them. He raised a hand, “Not even taking the piss with you.” “And I’ll have the great Lily Evans to thank for less broken glasses on all my future dates.” he laughed, sipping as he tried to get the last drops. Looking over to smirk in her direction. “Y’know, whoever I choose to charm the skirt off of next.” “Caradoc Dearborn? Yikes. I mean, to each their own, I’m happy for you expanding your horizons- but you can do better.” he scoffed, not even feeling a hint of jealousy for once. He was shocked by this, but smiled regardless of his surprise. “Two more!” he shouted, about to pull off the same trick again before he got up. “I’ll grab ‘em this time though, Padfoot.” he laughed, picking them up and bringing them back over. “Firewhiskey. To better prospects other than Caradoc Dearborn. Who’s personality was as bad as his parent’s choice in names.” he smirked, clinking glasses.

“If it wasn’t proposals it was challenges to kiss you, take you out for a test ride, give you one night of my life that I wouldn’t forget.” She said, starting to list the smooth lines that others would swoon over. Once it might have been charming, but constantly it felt like he did not respect when she declined, which was not something she wanted to continue to pursue. 

She smiled as he spoke of other dates. “Perhaps don’t bring up my name, perhaps only thank me non verbally, don’t want to scare off the ladies. “ She said, showing that she didn’t see him as totally undesirable. 

a chat and a wine || m & l

“Well you know- arsehats.” She laughed at the words, moving to sit on Lily’s bed as she glanced up towards the girl. “And anyway- the issue is the way she was. You know I can’t stand people like that- I’m sorry I don’t talk like the Minister of Magic- not that it’s something to prosper to be.”

She’d taken a swig of the lukewarm liquid. It’d do for now. Marlene slumped back against the bed, moving to adjust the pillow so she could sit more comfortably. Her fingers ran over the soft velvet, deciding the place one on her lap as she made patterns with the changing shadows of the fabric. “You are brilliant- you know that. As much as it pains my heart to know I can’t be a pain in your arse here… I guess you do deserve some reprieve from my company.”

“He would be lucky to be anything like you Marlene Mckinnon.” She said, a fondness in her tone to show she meant it. “Maybe not a Minister of Magic, but who wants to be that anyway.” She said. Lily Evan’s was always confused for being ambitious. The truth was she didn’t have any grand plans. She didn’t learn to try and get to the top. She just enjoyed learning, finding out everything about a subject, filling her mind with the magic she sometimes felt was a miracle.

“No doubt he’s a bloody genius, but I bother him enough as is.” James laughed, knowing he’d often have the worst timing with his patient, brilliant friend. They never really spoke of life outside of the two of them. Bringing up Severus often got James in a huff, while Marlene was his cousin. Sirius and Remus were both great, but he often felt as through they didn’t like when he brought Lily up, so he applied that same logic to Lily about them. He just realized they barely knew of each other. His laugh felt less condescending, the gentler aspect of his personality shining through. “I think I remember the things said in the seminar, but I don’t know how to… apply it.” “Haha, glad we have similar interest.” he raised his bottle to clink against hers. “She’s an inspiration.” “I’ll stick to quidditch then.” he chuckled at her dry response, but noticed the curling smile. His heart fluttered, but not in the way it used to. It was similar to when Remus and Sirius made him laugh or when he got Marlene with a great nickname for Madam Hooch. He shrugged, looking over at her with a sparkle in his eye. “Yeah, but it’s not as cool.” He held back a burp as he slammed his bottle down with a large grin. “Nicely done, Evans. You truly know a ton about pubs.” he teased, looking at the empty bottle fondly. Like it held this memory inside of it now.

“I don’t think you’re a bother. He wouldn’t have stuck around if you were.” She said. She knew that Remus’ patience wasn’t endless, even though it seemed like it when it came to the Marauders. “Well, if you wanted to, and it wasn’t going to end in some strange proposal. I would be happy to help. Or find someone that can help you apply them?”  She said, thinking back to the times where she had offered her help only to have him make it into something it wasn’t meant to be. 

“Just...focus on perfecting it before you do it in public. I’m sure you could make it some kind of competition.” She said, moving to readjust, despite her height she was finally on the same level. 

“I listened. Just didn’t… get it.” he shrugged, not having a path in mind which was a major part of the seminar. All the people were alumni who graduated after figuring their lives out. He was still in the middle of that phase of his own life. To say it was difficult was an understatement. “To be fair, they were quite funny faces.” he joked with a laugh, looking down, not realizing she had been watching him without him knowing. Feeling her knee nudge his and assuming he’d accidentally done it. He pulled his leg away, making sure to give her a comfortable space. “I’ve got a knack for it. Plus, Professor McGonagall asked me to help out and I can’t resist a pretty face.” he joked with a small smile. “Really? I would’ve thought Ireland or a fireplace.” he smirked, the first half sounding genuine before he got to his punchline about her hair. He raised his bottle and winked, “But properly the coolest way to get a beer.” he pointed out, “But we have magic that summons things from across the room and enchantments to make plates float… Why not use it to our advantage? Like grabbing a beer for myself and a friend.” He said the word before realizing he had spoke it aloud. A friend. It made him smile warmly at the solemn thought. But it wasn’t all bad. She was a friend in his eyes. “Well, that’s one way to ruin a completely good toast.” he joked under his breath, moving to drink. A challenging look in his eyes as he kept chugging it.

“Well what should someone do when they don’t understand and they want to? ask their friends. Remus is a genius, cheeky bastard but a genius.” she said, it was the first time they had been able to discuss other people outside of him or his assumptions about her. She held the same admiration for his friends, as well as the same admiration for a lot of people as soon as they gave her reason. She had always seemed reserved, almost distant, but she was kind as soon as people gave her the chance to be. She would take out time for anyone who asked, gave more chances than perhaps people deserved. Petunia for one, Snape second and him. The shit he had pulled over the years. The obsession over her, the anger at her rejection and then trying the same thing on repeat. Not to mention the hatred directed at Severus for doing the same. 

“She is an absolute stunner. If I was a few years older I would be flirting with her too.” She admitted. Every time she heard Minerva explain her art she would become spellbound in interest. 

“Ah ha ha, I have red hair, I get it.” She said dryly, but she had a hint of a smile in the corner. “Ah yes, but it standing up and picking it up yourself means you don’t have to spend your evening charming someone you’ve made mad for spilling it all over.” She got a greater smile as he said friend. 

James couldn’t help himself, letting the warm smile wash over him, his heart actually soaring for her, instead of for her. “You’ve got a lot planned out. Damn. Wish I could have like…a third of my life as organized as yours is.” he chuckled to her, then realized it wasn’t too funny. Moving to bring his glass up before realizing he’d emptied it. “Right. How about that drink then.” “A beer? You?” he cocked a brow with a chuckle, “No, I’m not even gonna question it. Two beers!” he shouted out, putting up two fingers. He leaned over to catch them as they flew through the air from the bar. “There’s a proper way of looking at it. To new beginnings, to your bright future and my hopeless one.” he laughed, meaning it as a joke. 

“You could of if you actually listened to that organisation seminar.” She said, moving to knock his knee with her own. “Instead of making faces across the classroom at Sirius.” she said, demonstrating how good her memory had always been. “I know that the lesson for transfiguring physical features was perhaps the first lesson you participated in but I didn’t think you would keep participating in it for the next three weeks.” She said with a light laugh, showing she didn’t mind it when he wasn’t making a joke about how grand it was being him. 

“Really?” Oh, now was definitely going to be some rude comment about how she should invite him over some night or does it get lonely in there. Why couldn’t James just act normal for once? He was always doing this, it was quite- “That’s great! You can read to your heart’s content and nobody will bother you. Wow… I’m really happy for you, Evans.”

What was this some sort of trick? A prank?

“A drink? Um,” he glanced to his glass before draining it, hurrying to swallow what was in his mouth, “Yeah. What about you? I happen to know the bartender.” he smirked, moving to slide in next to her. Careful to leave enough space between them. Surprising himself for not immediately doing something inappropriate. Maybe that’s all his crush had been. A crush. And even though it hadn’t worked itself out- that chapter officially closed, like her book- perhaps they could become friends. The thought truly brought a gentle smile to his face.

“That’s...exactly what I was thinking, plus I won’t be rushing to get to and from the library in the time, so I might even have time to have a normal life, instead of dreading every party taking time away from my reading.” She said, surprised at herself for saying it. She got a hint of a smile as she moved closer, but she wasn’t getting too comfortable, waiting for some kind of comment that it would give her a chance to finally give him a chance. 

“We live our own lives separately. I imagine you’re dorming with Marls?” he pointed out, trying to draw a parallel with his own friendship and hers. His smile widened as he didn’t say, not about to bring it up if she didn’t want to know. He wasn’t the same James Potter she’d seen last year. After all, that boy was desperate and had everything to lose with his final offer. This James on the other hand, he was older, more mature. A lot had happened over the holidays away from school. He needed to navigate life, to rethink and rebuild himself from the ground up after her rejection to his all or nothing offer… He had nothing to lose anymore. He’d lost it all and it broke him. “Wait, as a mediwitch?” his brow perked up, genuinely surprised. “That’s-” here it would come, a flirtatious remark disguised as a snide comment, “-Actually a great fit, Evans. I’m glad to know someone who will take this stuff seriously is- well, taking it seriously.” he said with his sincerest tone. Moving to sit up, flashing a bright grin in her direction. “I promise not to get injured too much on the pitch- stay our of your hair.”

“Not by choice.” She said, referring to him living their lives separately. She got a small smirk, a cheekiness that he often didn’t get to see due to him annoying her instead of talking to her like a human being. “Actually- the school gave me my own dorm.” She said, it was a gift given to the Valedictorian and considering they were getting so much shit for it, it was a way for them to convince her to stay. 

“So formal.” he lifted his pinky out to readjust his fancy posturing. Smirking into his drink as he took a deep sip. His head moving to look back at his best mate. Raising his tankard to him. “I didn’t even know he worked here until about… several minutes ago?” he wondered aloud, bringing his attention back to her. Only avoiding her eye contact to look into the cup, his face shifting from the ever present, glowing smile to a solemn half one. “Ah, well, you know. Once you play for money it becomes work and I don’t ever want my second favorite thing in the world to ever grow dull.” “I’m surprised you’re not off on your profession tour- bouncing from job to job. I’m sure Slughorn would give you a shining letter of recommendation.” he smirked, his knee bumping hers awkwardly under the table. Forcing him to shift and readjust the way he sat. Their legs were longer now than they had been as teens. It was something he needed to reconsider when seated across from her.

It was comments like this that felt like they had malice that playful teasing, yet he had still always expected her to say yes to his offers of courtship.  “I am surprised you two haven’t been attached at the hip since graduation.” She said, wondering what had happened between the two. She knew she hadn’t been at Marlene’s because she had seriously contemplated leaving this all behind, having a safer life with her family. But it was people like Marlene that brought her back, the true beauty of magic encapsulated in her, not to mention she would always be mad at the two parts of each world that she hated would have won with their influence over her decisions. She knew he was baiting her to ask what his first was, she raised an eyebrow showing she knew his game. 

“Then you can stay at my dorm, and swap rooms with that Beauxbatons girl.” She’d taken a deep breath out and for a moment almost looked like she was ready to settle into her calm. “I mean- do people not know what it means to be polite? Is talking out of one’s arse the new trend?” Her green eyes rolled slightly as she paced, lightly chewing on her inner cheek as she did so. “It’s like- your arse isn’t a hat.”

She almost forgot about the bottle of wine which she cradles in her arms. She extended it towards her friend, a sigh leaving her lips once more.

“I just- mistakenly thought we were grown ups, is all?” Marlene finally wasn’t seeing red. Her eyes settled on Lily’s room- moreso the fact that there was only one bed and lots of space. “Who’d you have to suck up to to get this room?” 

She heard about the new roommate and took a deep breath in. She knew that Marlene didn’t care for the French. Lily believed it was because they had a sense of entitlement, mixed with a their self assuredness and confidence in who they were. “Their own arse isn’t a hat? I hope they know that, it is a pity to see someone sit on their hat.” She said, watching the pacing around her new room, knowing Marlene wasn’t settled enough to take any of it in. 

James would have dropped out if he’d been given the chance.

That was what he told everyone else, at least. He would’ve went out into the world, flew on a dragon, kissed a veela- all of the things he was missing out on because his parents forced him back to Hogwarts for his next few years. But, these were all lies. The Potters were more than happy to let James out of the coop. To fly around the world and expand his mind. The problem was James, James did not want to go. There was an underlying terror deep down in his core, if he went out into the real world, there would be nothing for him. So he stayed here. Where he knew everything. Where he had goals- like catching a snitch a thousand more times, uh, and- and see if Lily Evans would finally go on a date with him. So much to do here. Speaking of, there she was, in all her frumpled glory, her brow furrowed in concentration, James loved it when it did that. Swallowing his pride, he wandered over with his butterbeer. Slipping in across from her with a broad grin. “Evans! I could barely see you over that book!”

She looked up and saw him, knowing that even if she tried to continue reading her book he wouldn’t leave her alone. She marked the page and moved to look up at him. “Potter.” She said, giving him a courteous nod of the head. She didn’t put the book aside, thinking that would be a full invitation.