Amateur Poet

I remember the first time I smiled,

The sort that is dreamy,

Dreaming in real life

Because this isn’t real.

This girl with eyes of old

That speak of forests long dead,

And a life lived before,

Because my heart knows her

As surely as my lungs know breath.

I remember this smile

Because it spoke of a secret,

Yet it lay out in the open

Because I have no secrets with her.

For she must hold my heart,

As without her

my heart aches,

As without her

my heart does not feel my own.

I remember the smile

Because she did not notice.

Her body became the forest of her eyes,

Her shoulders swayed like the trees,

Her hair became the wind

And the rustling long grass,

Her lips became the wild flowers,

Her spirit was the deer

Dancing through the trees,

Her voice became the birds

I saw a woman more alive than a forest.

I remember smiling,

I remember watching her as if from a distance

Seeing how she sang,

How she became a beautiful woman.

It became a moment frozen in time,

A moment I would never forget.

For when she sang I fell in love

I think sometimes,

Of our limbs tangled in the bath.

The way are legs are pressed together,

Curled and rested against each other

As I sink and descend under.

And I think

Of sleepless nights,

Where I rest my head on your chest

Just listening to your breath,

The rise and fall of your chest

Lifting and dropping me.

I think

Of days spent with a blanket.

Our bodies pressed against each other,

Your warmth against mine

All around as an embrace.

Amongst all of this,

I have this overwhelming feeling.

I press myself against you

As if I might slip inside

And become one with you.

I can’t forget

Your body against mine,

Calling out to me.

And I need you,

You are the lungs I lost

The pulse that gives me warmth

All things I was missing.

I realise

You are the other half of me.

I press into to you

Not knowing where you start and I end,

So that I might go home

Because you are everything I want

You are my chosen home.

I have to tell you

We are one and the same

Because we are nothing alike.

And so I need your embrace

Skin to skin is as close as we can be,

So I chose to exist somewhere between

In the hopes that it is enough.

I won’t tell you

How I drown myself in you

But never go thirsty.

I know we are separate bodies

But when we lay together,

I bury myself into you

She lay shattered, The same way A deer lays after a wolf's meal, Her stripped deer skin Was torn ceremony robes. The wolf suckled bones Was her unravelled, tangled hair. The scratches on the wolf’s muzzle, Was the ichor under her nails.

Pain bloomed across her body, Yet it was within Where the true wound lay, For her purity had been taken, Torn from her And stolen. The brutality of the theft Left no doubt, Of what had been taken.

Her first tears were caught, By slender weathered fingers. She quivered at the sight Of her Goddess staring With eyes as wise as an owl, Lips reared back like a battle horse, Her features as wild as a hawk.

Under her Lady's will, She felt her skin twist and melt. Her hair shifted, Golden strands warping to green, Writhing and hissing. Her sight sharpened, As her pupils became slits.

Her Goddess bid her rise But she froze and shuddered At the hideousness in her Lady's shield, Until the shield was dulled and clouded To hide the monster She now was.

She sobbed at her Lady's feet Begging and praying, Until she pleaded and cried For she fell beneath male hands. She had desecrated her Lady’s altar, Through her weakness to resist, But she bid her Goddess not to curse her, His touch had been curse enough.

Yet her Goddess tilted her head, As a wolf does stare When it sees strangeness. Her eyes glinted As an eagle does When it seeks prey. Her face became hard As a bear does When danger enters its den.

Words fell from her Lady’s lips,

"No man may touch you Nor harm you again, For to touch you Will surely turn them to stone. Their desire will never taint you As you shall smite them With but a single look. Rise my child, Would you sully my gift By taking it as a curse?"

So she rose, A weight leaving her, The way a lizard must feel Their tail dropping off As they flee for freedom Hoping it will grow back.

She stood, A burning in her veins, The way a panther must feel, Hiding up a tree As they wait on prey That does not know it is dinner.