csa mention tw- do you mind explaining how being anti-kink is a terf dogwhistle? i understand there are terfs that believe that but itās also a pretty general feminist statement outside of that and i donāt see how itās related to trans women specifically. i follow a lot of other csa survivors that feel that way because it can be used to groom minors and seems like it intersects a lot with abuse. iām not saying youāre wrong iād just like to understand. thank you. (also i canāt see your byf page)
1) boiling down dangerous radfem rhetoric to just transphobia/transmisogyny is helping radfems. anti-kink rhetoric is inherently dangerous whether or not it harms trans women specifically, as is biphobic rhetoric, racist rhetoric, anti-porn and sex-negative rhetoric, and other bigoted rhetoric that radical feminists use. trans-inclusive radical feminists are also bad.
2) for some more info on why anti-kink rhetoric is inherently bad (click the links, read the sources IN FULL EARNEST GOOD FAITH or donāt engage with me):
kink is a part of inherent sexual orientation for many people, or at least as inherent to our identities as gender-based orientation
kinks begin in childhood (regardless of exposure to kink! itās a total myth that kinks only form after exposure to sexual content, they form as a part of childhood sexual development regardless of if the child is exposed to sex or not)
there are basically no resources for BDSM practitioners in abusive relationships
part of this is the social stigma, and part of this is because BDSM is illegal, even with a full written contract and video recorded consent, in much of the world (much like the sex work problem, if what youāre doing is illegal, youāre not going to turn to outside resources to help you for fear of being arrested or persecuted yourself)
here is a post by star-anise (a licensed mental health professional) breaking down, with sources, why ākink criticalā rhetoric is outdated
here is another post from star-anise talking about the kink at pride issue which has TONS more sources for you to peruse (and she brings up some good points there too)
if you want some of my Hot Takes, here is a post about how kink is inherently linked to my disability for me, and hereās an ask i answered about kink and disability, and hereās another one about how kink is nonsexual
only slightly related but hereās a fun post about the thought process that naturally goes from kink is badā>kinksters deserve to be abused
another fun sidebar: little article about how kink teaches bodily autonomy and consent and how the kink community is actually a really great model for that
3) please, for the love of G-D, from one CSA survivor to another, stop fucking saying āit can be used to groom children!ā as an excuse to ban people from doing things that DONāT INVOLVE CHILDREN. literally anything can be used to groom children. grooming is a type of abuse wherein someone forms a relationship of trust with a child in order to further abuse them; abusers will use literally any available materials to do that.
abusers can use consensual vanilla adult porn to groom children, and actually, do that way more often than they use any kinky shit. not to mention completely non-sexual thingsārewards! candy! board games! words of affirmation and love! somethingās potential to be used to groom children is not relevant to this conversation, because anything with positive associations can be and is currently being used to groom kids. honestly buddy as a CSA survivor who was, myself, groomed with a ton of different shit that i donāt feel like going into publicly, this is the most fucking frustrating argument/misconception that i have to deal with.
4) finally, ask yourself: do i want women to be able to do whatever they want with their own bodies, even if i donāt like it?
if the answer is yes, you canāt be anti-kink.
if the answer is no, sorry buddy, youāre inherently in favor of regulating womenās bodies.
