FindingSalamander @findingsalamander - Tumblr Blog

12/June

What happens when you're drained out? I mean the kind of draining out where the only thing you enjoyed in life doesn't do it for you anymore. Is that bad? is this how it was supposed to be? (once you're all grown up?) How disappointing...

#disappointing #finding #salamander

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I truly wish no one ever finds this blog, altho now that I'm writing, there should be a narcisistic thought about wanting to be found... right? otherwise why would I even create/publish it? It pains me deeply to look back in my life and not being able to find one single moment where I thought I'd make it this far (31 yrs old) And now, I dont have a plan, I dont have anything, really. And it frustrates me even more.

I have a lovely partner, soon to be husband, money, friends and a lovely cat. Why isnt that enough? it's like my brain doesnt wanna process the happiness. Or it's just not wired to do so...? Maybe it's because the one thing I thought I was good at in life, turns out I'm not even close to being average good. Would that be it? I don't think it'd be that dramatic, would it?

Or maybe yes?

10/june/2026

I'm thinking of ending things. Not because I've a problem, which I clearly do, but because ever since I can remember I've wanted that

#finding #salamander

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