Sincerely Yours

Okay first of all, I understand that you have problems. I don't understand your problems or what you're going through because as you said, no one who hasn't gone through what you've gone through can completely understand.**

**But in that case that means no one will ever understand you because no two people have the exact same experiences, if you're going to use that argument and take it literally to justify yourself.

I'm not going to tell you how to deal with your issues because that's up to you as well. How you want to get better or to move on is your business and not outs.

BUT, the way you treat us and the people around you is our business. When you boss us around and take your shit out on us then rant and complain about how everything is our fault and how we're not giving you whatever it is you fucking want at that exact moment, that's our business. When you try to blame us for having secrets that we don't want to share with you and saying that it makes you feel out of place, that's our business. When you try to say we are terrible friends when you were the first one who tried to tear our friend group apart by not letting us hang out, that's our business. 

And personally, I am so fucking sick of it.

I'm not going to touch on the friend thing anymore because that's what he wants so whatever that's not our call. But I am going to rant about how you are a fucking dictator sometimes and just because you have more experience in organizing shit or whatever doesn't mean you can boss everyone around. If you have a valid suggestion then bring it up, but you can't get pissed at the heads for running things the way they see fit, especially if there have been no problems with they way they've been running things so far.

And before you say, Ok, edi hindi na lang ako tutulong, I'm going to stop you there. NO ONE SAID THAT. NO ONE SAID NA HINDI KA PWEDE TUMULONG, but the thing is the way you're providing it is so wrong. You get mad when the heads don't do it your way. You get mad when you don't get what you want or when you aren't kept in the loop 110% of the time. Newsflash: YOU'RE NOT A HEAD. 

IF the heads are running this thing terribly, if everything is falling apart, then alright you can take charge. But taking charge out of nowhere? Expecting people to treat you like the boss? N o p e. Fuck that attitude. 

Speaking of attitudes, alam mo yung attitude mo. You know it and you always say hey no one understand what I'm going through when we call you out on the bullshit you do to us. Jesus fuck, what is with that victim complex and all that moral high ground shit. You're always the victim because of your experiences somehow. We aren't understanding enough (even though we never can be, according to you) and we aren't allowed to vent our frustrations anymore because we are so immature when we do so. Whatever, fuck that and fuck you most of all. Just because you have problems and you have issues that are worse than most people's doesn't mean you can treat everyone like shit and demand everyone's obedience. It doesn't give you a free pass to act like an asshole. If you don't understand that, then there's really nothing I can do for you. 

See, the problem with always thinking that you're in the right because of your "maturity" and "experience" and "moral high ground" is that you never change. You've been through this in high school and now in college as well. Maybe, just maybe, the reason this kind of thing keeps happening to you is because of you. So instead of thinking of yourself as the victim all the time and screaming bloody murder because it's your issues and no one can understand them, maybe think a bit on your attitude towards other people. Baka kasi sumosobra na diba? 

Also what I love the most about your post is that you said that you hate how people talk behind your back as though they know what you're going through. But people will never understand what you're going through nga diba. So basically we're not allowed to call you out on your shit because we don't understand. Right. 

Yeah so whatever, the point of this post is fuck you and your attitude. People like you are never going to change especially with that enabler of yours.

Ohmygod I never understood your questions. As in at all. 

What do you want from me? 

Gusto mo bang aminin ko na meron dati? 

Because, asa ka, never ko po sasabihin yun. So every time you ask those things, I feel like you're laughing at me. You're not I know. But then that's how it feels like because I will never say it and you will never stop asking and that's reason number 3 why it hurts to talk to you. Amen? Amen. 

Tip sa Paghahagip? 'Wag. 

Nope sobrang ok na po ako. Like literally! Seriously! Like this is the best way for things to go kahit medyo sad 'cause friend rin kita dati. But yun kasi tanga po ako, it's better that way!!!! (shet ang drama) 

Pero yun as in I was like seriously okay. Like really very okay. 100%! 120%! 

Tapos yun biglang BAM narito tayo ulit. I thought I was done with this kind of normal. I hate being off-balance jfkdlshafl. But with you it's always always like that! "Treading dangerous waters" indeed. Fucking hell it's like I lose the ground I'm standing on and no you do not fucking take my breath away. It's like I'm falling (no not for you no hindi po ito ganyan) and then every now and then I hit a ledge and bounce off.

I forgot how much talking to you hurt. 

So anong gusto mo iparating? That we're not voting wisely? Ok if that's what you think then that's fine. But then to throw it in our faces? To speak as though you know what's best and that every vote that does not coincide with yours is an unwise one? Now that, my dear, is incredibly incredibly egoistical.

Now I know that you think you're the only one who's aware of what's going on in the university, especially with regards to political issues. I don't know about you but that sounds elitist to me. You want to act as the class' leader without acknowledging the fact that a leader does not look down on his/her/their followers. A true leader acknowledges that his/her/their strength comes from the support of their followers and not the other way around. So please get off your high horse, and for once, instead of playing the victim, ask yourself why we are not supporting you.

Also, excuse me? You're going to imply that the other party isn't as good as your party? Did you even listen to their presentations? Please remember that it's not about the flashiness of the delivery or of the rhyme scheme in the speeches, it's about the content. I thought we were voting for leaders, not stage performers.  Oh I know it must be surprising to you. When you preach to us to BE CRITICAL, it's hilarious to me because you're so hypocritical. You are basing your own vote on what your friends have told you, on what your orgmates have told you, on what the party says, on the testimonials of all the people (who are probably even less critical than you) he knows, instead of what he actually said during the presentation. If you were as critical as you claim you are, O Mighty One, then you would have noticed his logical fallacies, his lack of concrete answers. Hm. But that's another thing entirely, as I said, politics is entirely up to the individual. 

I'm just going to breeze through your last paragraph real quick here. I'm going to give a brief summary.

Whine whine whine whine tantrum 'oh no one is noticing me' 'oh no one is kissing my ass' 'oh lets pretend my friends are all idiots and that im the only one who knows anything and they probably wont notice how offensive this post is' 

I think it speaks for itself.

A. Fuck you!!!! !! !! !! !! ! !! ! ! ! ! !! so much

like please. 

what right do you think you have to demand things of us? what right do you think you have to ask us to show you support? shouldn't support (especially political support!) be freely given? i thought we were a democracy (if in name only). so why the fuck are you trying to force us to support a candidate we don't feel deserves it? i don't understand. do you think that just because you're our friend, we're going to trust you 100%? no offense, but i thought elections was about choosing people for their merit instead of because they're your friends. i know it must be so hard to wrap your pretty little head around the fact that the world DOES NOT.REVOLVE.AROUND.YOU. it's not a popularity contest anymore babe. if we don't want to support you like that, then fucking deal with it. don't go throwing a tantrum, princess. 

so i'll also admit that we didn't give you 100% support at the start. fine. but please bear in mind that a. you're not the only one running b. you have a whole fucking organization behind you, complete with trained and experienced personnel! c. the other candidate didn't even have a party until like a week before the campaign season started AND she has maybe 6 members on her campaign team with 0 training in public speaking or politicking in general. 

so where do you get off on complaining that 20, 25 people don't support you day and night? and honestly, those 20, 25 people were planning to vote for you, until you showed your true colors.

do you want us to kiss your ass, crawl behind you, cheer your name at every minute of every day? what do you fucking want? 

as i said the whole world does not revolve around you

THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU

maybe yknow, just fucking maybe, there is someone out there who has it a little bit harder than you do and maybe you should consider that. maybe you should consider that each person is autonomous and has the right to decide on their own who they should support in the elections without you throwing a hissy fit. maybe you actually have no right to demand any single fucking thing from us. maybe instead of demanding support, you could earn it.

and then you're trying to tell me that you're running for a position to represent an oppressed minority? when you can't even understand the plight of your own classmate? when you're so self-absorbed you think that our love for both of you was a competition and that you were losing it? when you aren't even willing to look past your own problems and see others' issues and concerns unless it can benefit you in some way? 

please please please tell me why i'm supposed to vote for someone like that. i don't understand. 

B. your party is shit and is so fucking outdated i can't even begin to describe all the flaws in what you do. all of you are so elitist and do not understand the problems that the majority of the people face. you approach issues from a privileged point of view without acknowledging that you are from a privileged position and should therefore check your biases. also your supporters are so fucking rude i dont even know. you do not want to know how much i wanted to scream at them to fuck off. i understand you want to win, but if youre going to win by dragging everyone in the mud, then i dont want to be a part of that.

god i want to tell everyone in this whole fucking school whats going on. because you've managed to fool everyone, congrats! you guys are the best! ha. 

and no, i am not a supporter of the other party either. but between the two of you? you are definitely the worse choice.

From what I can see, here's what's happening. You're fucking up all your relationships right now because of an already unstable relationship with a person you barely know.

Judgmental? Possibly. 

A. I love you.

B. I am not in love with you and will probably never be. 

C. I am having difficulty processing my feelings about this because:

        i. Friendship demarcation lines

        ii. Friendship demarcation lines

        iii. Friendship demarcation lines

D. If I were to meet Icarus, I would tell him to fly.

E. There is no reason to clip your wings because of someone else's fears.

F. If you fall, you fall on your own terms. 

         i. Remember that the sun might reach out, but even at its darkest, it blinds. 

         ii. The sun is not something you can love without letting it consume you whole.

         iii. When you love something, give your heart and soul, but don't lose your mind.

G. Nevertheless, it's a special kind of pain only watching, just watching.

H. But that is neither here nor there.

I. If you love something, let it go. 

(P.S. This is a love letter but not that kind of love letter)