I long to hear you say my name.

I hate being awake because when I'm awake I can miss you. When I'm awake I can't dream that things are okay. When I'm okay I can't breathe because I don't have you.

-S. D. A. C. 

Everywhere i go, everywhere i look, everyone i speak to, its all about the places i can’t go. They say Uni’s about finding yourself, experimenting, that it’s not just about the work, but the social life as well. Uni’s where you’ll meet your friends for life they said. If you’re feeling down, why not try getting involved, join a society and mix with new people, have fun and let loose. All of those opportunities are now gone for me. Without a warning shot, they opened fire. “Permanently excluded” True, and now in more ways than just not permitted from entering your premises, I’m excluded from the opportunities i described. I can no longer join in social occasions that are advertised to me every single day. I can’t go anywhere without being bombarded with people promoting your events. I can’t look anywhere without seeing posters, flyers banners, you name it you’ve got it. I understand that it was my behavior that put me in this situation, but the way you reacted has ripped a hole in me. I’ve never felt more alone than I have at uni and now you’ve done this to me, the times i do get to see my friends and spend time with them have now plummeted dramatically. So Thank You, for helping me “make the most of me” and allowing me to discover new things and experience new things. I have to say that the most significant thing I've discovered and experienced since being here is total and utter isolation, much the same a piece of debris floating through space, it’s only fate to smash into something and disintegrate. At least it will look beautiful when the inevitability occurs, for myself I cannot say the same. 

"If you only knew"

C.P "one night"

me: *listens to sad music and makes it worse bc go hard or go home*