hbo hallucifer bc I'll always be bitter about the way that storyline was handled
first of all, hallucifer is actually scary and not just some comic relief
sam is genuinely TERRIFIED whenever he sees him, he start shaking and can barely breathe
the show doesn’t gloss over the fact that sam spent /almost two centuries/ in the cage
sam spent so much time in the cage he can he can barely remember his life before that point and has to constantly ask dean about certain events so he can be sure whether he remembers them correctly or not
sometimes the hallucinations become too much to handle that sam loses control and his psychic abilities come back at full force and he starts accidentally throwing things around and breaking them
he start speaking enochian in the middle of conversations without realizing it; in the middle of the night he screams in enochian while thrashing around in his bed
everyone keeps telling him that none of it is real, that got out, that he’s free, but he doesn’t believe it. he can’t be sure about anything and he can’t allow himself to actually believe he’s free out of fear of being crushed by disappointment if it turns out that it is real
whenever he feels the slightest bit of cold, he freezes completely thinking that lucifer must be close
he starts shaking whenever anyone raises their voice slightly or even makes any sudden movements or noises
he can’t stand anyone being in his immediate vicinity because he’s scared they’re gonna do something to him
his memory gets triggered by the most trivial things. he sees any iron bars? cage flashbacks. fire? cage flashbacks. chains? cage flashbacks. blood? cage flashbacks. anything slightly red? cage flashbacks.
instead of making snarky remarks hallucifer makes him see things; people close to him dying over and over for starters
sometimes hallucifer takes the appearance of lucifer’s true form. whenever that happens sam just starts crying bc he’s so scared and he doesn’t know what to do - there’s no way out of this and there’s nothing he can do except cry - out of desperation, out of fear, out of hopelessness
at some point he just wants it to be over, wants to get to the end. he just wants everything to stop stop stop, so he takes a bunch of pills hoping to get to the end either way: he either finds out it’s all true and he’s still in the cage or he finds out that he’s actually been out this entire time and it’s all in his head and even if he dies at least he’s free; it’s a win win situation for him, he just wants to know the truth
he survives but nothing changes. in fact the hallucinations only get worse and worse



















