many in one

Hi. We’re a system, I guess. I don’t know, I just live here (for once, I’m not living with our traumatizers! woah!)

We have. Numerous of us. Others have spoken about possibly being ‘polyfrag’ or whatever. I don’t know. We have a lot of isolated memory bubbles and personality splinters that didn’t get absorbed into any whole person. Then we have over a dozen of us actively engaging with life.

Some of us choose the medical model (relatively safer IRL). Some of us choose a more flexible understanding (brings us closer to cohabitation and possibly healing, at least with those who use it). We fit the ‘disorder criteria’ or whatever. Not all of us can handle that. It’s whatever.

Searching Pluralpedia (for its collected dictionary value) offers a few: ‘Isolgenic’—a nod to the isolation of growing up with nearly no friends despite my mother’s every effort to introduce others to me; ‘Neurotraumagenic’—less of an Original Origin and more of the root cause of numerous pains and aches both past and present (ADHD is a motherfucker, and while I wouldn’t trade it for the world, it does make interacting with and managing myself a pain); ‘Paragenic’—due to the heavy involvement of my intensive daydreaming to process any and all of my stressors through childhood and even as recent as 2024; ‘Protogenic’—I never “developed my parts into a singular identity state” as is the supposed expectation of a child processing the world and growing into an adult, integrated personality. I have always been like this. I will never not be like this. I will not have my existence be misconstrued as a disease.

Sysmates, no matter when they fully form, our mind will back-track their memories. They will remember things from years before they could have formed, memories that got lost in the fray or just simply have some simple relation to them by topical associations. But they very notably did not exist at those times.

I don’t know why this happens. It’s odd. I’ve never seen anyone else talk about this, so I couldn’t say how common or uncommon this is, it’s just odd.