fibing & vibing

I feel slightly more awake/motivated than I do during the day for some reason.

It feels like me time and I feel like I deserve to relax.

I don’t really want tomorrow to come because it means another day of tasks to get through.

I’m dreading the nightmares/vivid dreams that I have almost every night.

I’m going to be tired tomorrow either way.

Sometimes if I utterly exhaust myself my body gets some deeper sleep.

Positive affirmations to help with this:

People can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.

I am at peace because I know I’m on the right path.

My body is my responsibility, and I do what’s best for me.

I know where my energy needs to go and I put it there.

I am learning the beauty that comes with taking care of myself.

Growth is not equated to situations that bring conflict or stress, I can drop things that aren’t serving me.

The world doesn’t shrink to their size just because they lack the depth to understand it.

I don’t expect peace from people who are at war with themselves.

I respect my own needs.

I love the sound of my feet walking away from whatever no longer suits me.

I am brave enough to start over when necessary.

The world doesn’t shrink to their size just because they lack the depth to understand it.

I do not need to suffer for love.

I am still deserving of love and connection even while I’m healing.

I reserve the right to course correct whenever I want to.

I know my limit as a giver because takers don’t have any.

My tears don’t fall to the ground without consequence.

I don’t compromise on who has access to me, because this is how I love myself.

I am capable of creating the life I am thinking about.

I’ve struggled with hair loss for years, long before receiving my diagnosis. For a long time I thought it was purely due to anxiety, which is definitely a factor. But anyways, over the years I’ve come up with some strategies for preventing hair loss, as well as encouraging new hair growth which is equally important imo. Both stem from having a healthy scalp. I’ll list my tools and products here, as well as my routine for using them properly. My hair is extremely fine, and has so little texture it slips out of hair ties; this almost has a horseshoe effect though where it goes round the bend and has a lot of the same issues as very textured hair in terms of breakage, tangling, etc. so if you have textured hair, some of these techniques and/or products may work for you, but I can’t say for sure.

Tools:

Wide-tooth comb

Scalp massager

Bonnet/head scarf, and/or hair ties

Microfiber cloth

Products:

Bar shampoo (I use JR Liggets)

Deep conditioner (I use Trader Joe’s coconut hair mask)

The Ordinary - Multi-Peptide Serum for Hair Density

Aloe vera gel, no fragrances or other unnecessary additives (I use Lily of the Desert)

Hair oil (I’m currently using Virtue - Healing Oil bc I got a free sample of it lol, but any kind will do tbh)

Hair mask (I get mine from the Henna Guys, equal parts of their Fenugreek & Reetha Powder to prevent hair loss, and their Brahmi & Bhringraj Powder for hair growth)

Dry shampoo (I have a powdered one also from the Henna Guys for daily use bc it has no unnecessary additives, but I also use a regular aerosol one like Batiste if I’m going out)

Daily Routine:

Every night before bed, start by gently brushing your hair. If your hair is wet at all, use a wide tooth comb to avoid snagging tangles.

Fill a dropper’s worth of the Ordinary serum - squeeze half into your palm, and the other half directly onto the problem areas of your head (I do the crown.) Make sure not to touch the dropper to your skin or hair though, don’t want to contaminate it! Just hover above.

Using your finger of your other hand, apply the serum directly onto any other problem areas (I do my hairline and temples.) Gently rub in where you dripped onto your scalp as well.

Squeeze some aloe into your palm with the serum, and mix them together with the finger of your other hand. Rub your hands together, and apply the mixture evenly throughout your scalp. You can go back in with more aloe too if you want, your hair should be pretty saturated. It might seem like this will make your hair look greasy in the morning, but it’s actually the opposite, it acts kind of like a natural dry shampoo and prevents your scalp from producing unnecessary oil. (I discovered this by accident when I had a scalp sunburn, so it’s also great to do if you’ve been out in the sun at all lol.)

Put a few drops of hair oil into your palm. Rub your hands together, and smooth it into the length of your hair in downward strokes, but starting at the bottom and reaching closer too your scalp each time. Run any remnants through the hair at your scalp, a little will keep it healthy but a lot will make it greasy here.

Use the scalp massager all over your head, gently; this should feel really nice. Focus on problem scalp areas, as well as pressure points if you get frequent headaches (bonus for helping with that too lol.)

Put on your powdered dry shampoo, while your hair is still “damp” from the aloe. Brush your hair from scalp to tip with the wide tooth comb until you feel like everything is fairly evenly distributed.

Put your hair up in a clippy or something while you go about the rest of your nighttime routine (I do hair care > journaling > night meds > light yoga > teeth > skincare > bed.)

At bedtime, protect your hair with a bonnet or headscarf, should be silk or satin. Bonnets have been a huge thing in the Black community for ages, but really everyone (especially people with delicate hair of any kind) should get into them! They prevent your hair from getting pulled on by the friction that’s naturally created between your head and pillow while you sleep. It also keeps all those products we just applied on your head all night instead of your pillow. You’ll also notice it’s better for your skin; it keeps the hair products and skin products separate so they both stay clean. You’ll notice less hair loss AND fewer breakouts.

If you really don’t want to wear a bonnet or scarf, or if you’re staying over somewhere etc, the next best option is to put your hair in one or two braids. This at least does some work to prevent pulling and keep it off your face.

Weekly Routine:

Before washing, use a hair mask. This is a great chance to let products really soak into your scalp and hair shafts. The ones I use are all natural, traditional ingredients. Your hair will be softer, stronger, and shinier, but not from any residue left behind, just because it’s healthier.

I only wash my hair once a week, maybe twice if I’m going somewhere. The less you can wash your hair, the better. There is a transition period, but your hair really does adjust to not being washed as often. It’s important for scalp health not to be over-washed because it’ll start producing an excess of oil, and then you’ll just have to keep washing it, which keeps creating stress on your hair and pulling more out. A shampoo bar is a really easy and effective way to get the right amount of shampoo right where you need it; just rub it directly on your head and lather up. (The JR Liggets bar also has very limited ingredients, all natural, and as a bonus is sustainable bc no plastic.) Once you work the shampoo through your scalp and down to your ends with your fingers, grab your same scalp massager and use it too. (Be careful not to cause tangles though! Tiny gentle circular movements.)

Since you’re not conditioning your hair as often, you should use a deeper conditioner and leave it on for as long as the packaging says.

When you’re out of the shower, carefully use the wide tooth comb. Avoid products like detanglers, because they leave a residue on your hair and you’ll just end up having to wash it more often again. You shouldn’t need them if you deep conditioned. To dry your hair, gently scrunch it with the microfiber cloth. Don’t rub, we don’t want friction, but the microfiber will be able to absorb a lot of water without damaging your hair. From here, you can air dry it or put it into rollers if you want to add a natural curl/style. Avoid hair dryers and curling/straightening irons as much as possible; unfortunately heat is one of the worst things for hair and scalp health.

Other Notes:

When you’re outside, especially in summer, wear a hat as much as you can! Fibromyalgia and other chronic conditions can make you extremely sensitive to sun exposure, and hair isn’t enough to stop the UV rays. Your scalp with be a lot healthier if you protect it from the sun as often as you can. You can also use a parasol etc.

Try to avoid adding other styling products, because again you’ll just end up having to wash more often. But the aloe can be used as a natural gel, and the dry shampoo can be used as a volumizer.

Limit additives in your products as much as you can; all the specific ones I’ve listed here are a good start. The fewer ingredients, the fewer chances there are that you’ll have a bad reaction which could lead to a flare up.

This recipe is great because other than boiling the water there’s no actual cooking lol, just marinating. Handy always but extra good if you don’t want to heat your kitchen in the summer! Very few ingredients involved, very little prep, very little brain power necessary, vey few dishes created. If you use pre-minced garlic, you only need a knife to halve the cherry tomatoes, and to slice the basil leaves into strips (or you could tear those with your hands, whichever is easier.) Easy to make this one vegan and/or GF, or you could easily add a protein into the mix like some chicken or whatever you have on hand/pre-made. But it tastes delish and like you put a lot of care into it! Originally a Barefoot Contessa recipe, so if it’s good enough for Jeffrey it’s good enough for me.

Tools:

Big container with lid

Cutting board (can be a small one)

1 knife

Pot to boil water

Big spoon to stir the pasta

Ingredients:

Big-ish container of cherry tomatoes (4 pints, 1.5 lbs, however your store labels it doesn’t really matter, this isn’t a super precise kind of recipe)

2 tbsp/6 cloves garlic (can be pre-minced)

“18 large leaves of basil” (I didn’t count leaves lol, just get a pack of basil and use all or as much as you want)

1/2 cup olive oil

Salt

Black pepper

Red pepper flakes

1 pack of pasta (I used brown rice fettuccini bc I’m trying to see if going GF will alleviate my symptoms at all. It tastes good too so win-win tbh.)

Grated Parmesan cheese (I used a pre-shredded vegan version bc I’m also seeing if cutting dairy helps, and also I was curious how it would taste. Could not tell the difference, super yummy!)

Method:

Cut all the cherry tomatoes in half and throw them in your big container.

Mince the garlic if you’re using fresh cloves, throw your garlic into the big container.

Cut or tear the basil leaves, add them too.

Season to your preference.

Add the oil, put the lid on, shake it up! Leave this on the counter for at least four hours, OR put it into your fridge until you’re ready for it. I got tired after prepping mine so it stayed in the fridge for two days.

When you’re ready to prep for eating: boil water, salt it and add a drop of olive oil, and cook your chosen pasta as specified on the packaging it came with.

Drain the pasta, add the marinated tomato mixture, add the cheese, and stir! You can toss in a few fresh basil leaves if you have some/want to. Makes a huge amount.

To serve:

You can eat it right away when the pasta is warm. For leftovers, it’s equally good microwaved or eaten cold like pasta salad.

You can sprinkle a little extra cheese and/or seasonings on top if you want to. This is an easy recipe to slightly mix-up the individual portions if you get tired of eating leftovers, it’s great as-is but could easily go with most kinds of veg or protein.

This will keep in the fridge for about a week. I froze half of mine, we’ll see how that goes when I thaw it but I don’t see any reason why it won’t be fine.

Making this recipe requires very little physical energy and very few decisions to be made, so I’ve been able to make it even on bad symptom days and/or in depressive episodes. Oats have a lot of health benefits that especially apply to fibromyalgia issues, including: regulating blood sugar levels, improving gut health and digestion, improving energy levels, providing plenty of fiber and nutrients, and they’re not inflammatory & gluten free. Same goes for the add-ins tbh, which also have a good amount of omegas and protein. You can personalize it based on what sounds good to you or what you have.

Tools:

Big container with lid (I use my 7 cup pyrex)

Spatula for mixing

1/2 cup measuring cup

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups quick oats (I use Robin Hood minute oats)

1/4 cup ground flax

1/4 cup chia seeds

1/4 cup hemp hearts

Pinch salt

Sprinkle of cinnamon to taste (optional, but supposedly anti-inflammatory)

1 cup greek yogurt (I like vanilla extra creamy, but mix it up sometimes. I always get extra creamy though bc I like the thickness, and it has the most protein.)

1 cup oat milk (or whatever milk situation you have.)

1/4 cup maple syrup (or honey, and can use more to taste.)

Method:

Put all the dry ingredients into your container. I just eyeball the 1/4 cup by using half of the 1/2 cup so I only dirty one thing.

Give it a stir with the spatula until it looks evenly mixed.

Use the spatula to scoop yourself a cup of yogurt (again, I use two of the same 1/2 and the same spatula.)

Add in the oat milk.

Add in the maple syrup.

Stir it all up until it’s evenly incorporated. It’ll be thick, more like a pudding. And that’s it lol put it in the fridge.

To serve:

Wait at least four hours, but this will keep like a week if you don’t finish it before that.

It’ll be even thicker after sitting with those chia seeds. I think of it almost like an oatmeal concentrate lol - I scoop out however much I want into a little bowl, add in more oat milk, and mush it out to create a more classic oatmeal consistency. This stretches it out so you don’t have to make it as often.

If you want, you can also add extra maple syrup/honey to your individual portion, and/or a little sprinkle of cinnamon.

Again feel free to customize if you want to add anything in like nuts, dry fruit, flavors, etc but also it’s great like this if you don’t wanna think about it!

I love seeing how my healthy habits improve my life.

The more I honor myself the more my life will reflect it.

I am learning about myself by finding the right mix of discipline and freedom.

Being calm and relaxed is my priority now.

My past pains don’t define me.

I am winning my battles even if not everyone can see my scars.

I am gentle and compassionate with myself in areas where I’m still healing and growing.

I am not stuck, I lead myself forward.

I am not weak for feeling all that I carry.

I control my energy and choose where it goes.

So, my skin is really bad lol. I’ve had a rash on my legs for over ten years, and every doctor and dermatologist I’ve ever gone to was super gaslighty about it. It was originally caused when I got several mosquito bites at once; the next day I woke up with hives that looked like I’d been bitten all over my body. From then on, they would flare up any time I experienced physical or mental stress. Which was often, bc I was in uni at the time lol. And then about five years later I got attacked by a swarm of wasps and was covered with stings, and the rash never went away again. So obviously this screams autoimmune issue, but doctors told me I probably had bedbegs (made no sense bc I slept with a partner who was unaffected, and had moved three times, but I cleaned every piece of fabric I owned anyways and it didn’t help,) that it would probably just go away bc my labs were normal (sure, that’s why it lasted for a decade,) and my fav, that I must just be scratching myself bc I have anxiety (lol.)

Anyways, I’d sort of given up on figuring out what was going on, and I’d never seen a pic that looked quite like my rash, until I got my fibro diagnosis. The doctor told me that my kind of rash was not uncommon, and when I googled it I saw pics that looked exactly like me. It was so validating.

But double ANYWAYS, over the years I developed a lot of skincare strategies to help with the situation since doctors wouldn’t. I see a ton of incorrect info/bad advice online about skincare, and specifically rash care. So idk how to get the word out about any of this lol, but if you’re reading this, and you have a weird rash caused by fibromyalgia, this is what worked for me after years of trial and error!

I’m organizing my routine into stages depending on how bad your rash is flaring up at the time, but when you’re ready to move onto the products and tools of a new phase, keep doing everything you were already doing as maintenance.

When the rash is really bad:

Bioderma atoderm cleansing oil ($$): this is a very gentle cleanser that’s PH balanced, very non-irritating if you have sensitive skin, even if it’s flaring up. Won’t cause additional flare ups.

Scrubby bath puff ($): everything online will tell you not to exfoliate if you have a rash, but that’s terrible advice!! Exfoliation is the only way to remove dead, damaged skin cells and encourage circulation and new skin cell growth!! You just need to be careful and use common sense. Put the cleansing oil on a little puff and use that, your hands aren’t good enough alone. You don’t need to press hard, just go in gentle little circles from your ankles up, wrists in, always towards your heart.

Bioderma atoderm intensive baume ($$): this is the body cream that goes with the oil cleanser, make sure it’s the intensive baume and not just the regular cream. Fixing and maintaining your moisture barrier is key! Use this twice a day: morning and night, or make one of those after you get out of the shower if you showered that day.

Polysporin gel ($): or neosporin or whatever antibiotic gel is available in your area, gel is my personal preference, I feel like it absorbs better. Use this on any open sores so they don’t get infected and heal faster.

When the rash starts healing a bit:

Frank Body original coffee scrub ($): once you have fewer open sores, using this to exfoliate once or twice a week will speed up the healing process sooo much. If it hurts to use, you’re not ready for it yet. It should feel soothing. Don’t overdo it though even if it feels good, twice a week max.

Shaving ($): obviously you don’t need to shave if you don’t want to, but shaving your legs, dermablading your arms, etc is another great way to exfoliate a layer of dead skin cells. It also allows products like the intensive baume to penetrate more easily and deeper into your skin since there’s not a layer of hair in the way. Once every week or two is plenty, shave around open sores and don’t do it if it hurts. You can use the cleansing oil to shave with in the shower.

Retinol ($-$$$): I like the one from the inkey because it’s $ and effective. Mix this in with the baume once a week and it will significantly improve your skin texture. Pointless to do this though if your rash is still active bc you’ll just get more spots, but once you’re on a healing trend it’ll help the process a lot.

Body massager ($-$$): I have a plastic one from Sephora. This is the one thing on this list that might be mostly in my head, but it feels really nice so that counts for something in itself. It’s supposed to help with circulation and lymph drainage, and if you use it after your other products it helps them absorb into your skin. Relaxing to do before bed.

When you’re mostly healed/trying to maintain, and also lessen the appearance of scars:

Dry brush ($): omg I love dry brushing so much. If your skin is mostly healed, this will drastically reduce the appearance of scars. Don’t press hard! Do the same as with the cleansing oil: sweep up from your ankles, in from your wrists, always towards your heart, with a lil swirl at your joints and lymph nodes. Start with once a week, gradually go to twice, eventually you can do it once a day but not until you’ve worked your way up to it. If you do it too intensely or too often it can backfire; I’ve had it aggravate certain areas, including scar tissue. But if you’re gentle with yourself it feels great and really encourages circulation, lymph draining, and new skin cell growth. Best done on totally dry skin before you get in the shower. Game changer.

Faded Topicals brightening and clearing mist ($$): this is a great chemical exfoliant. Topicals is a great Black-owned brand that uses really good ingredients. I find that any product designed for melanated skin is the absolute best for dealing with any kind of hyperpigmentation, including scars. Use this once a week, after the shower, and let it dry before putting on the baume; it helps over time. Only downside is that the packaging kinda sucks and starts leaking eventually, so hopefully they fix that bc it works really well.

This is my current cocktail of meds etc that I take every day. Maybe they’re superfluous, maybe they’re not, but through a lot of trial and error I’m pretty sure all of these are actually helping me feel quite a bit better. Feel free to ask me any questions about specifics, but please don’t be mean about any of these bc I’m just doing my best lol.

Wake Up:

Multivitamin for eye health

Multivitamin for women’s health

Hair and nail vitamin

Protein shake

Notes: all of these are chewable/gummies, which not only is easier when I first wake up, but also easier for the body to digest and so more effective. My hair falls out a ton so the hair vitamin really helps. And I always wake up hungry but feel sick if I eat, so I go for a pre-made shake every day. They’re expensive but they keep me feeling ok, give me a good amount of nutrients, and require zero energy to prepare.

Mid Morning:

B100

Cod liver oil with A and D vitamins

Odourless garlic

Coenzyme Q10

Notes: I’ve found the cod liver oil to be more effective than just regular vitamin D, maybe it’s because of the omegas or whatever. Also the garlic is lowkey one of the best things I take, it reduces inflammation in my sinuses and everywhere else, and is helpful for circulation which makes everything else better too.

Noon:

Welbutrin

Seasonique

Claritin

Notes: I’ve had depression and anxiety diagnosed for a long time so been on welbutrin for a while, but it’s a bonus that it’s supposed to help for fibro brain things too. Seasonique is crucial bc I’m pretty sure I have PMDD and my mental health absolutely tanks on my period, so only having one every three months is a lifesaver. And my respiratory system has been bad for a long time and I live in a city with not amazing air quality, so a daily antihistamine helps a lot and I’ve stopped pretending there’s a time of year I won’t need that.

Afternoon:

Iron

Probiotics

Notes: I’ve had low iron forever, and even though doctors have always told me it’s not low enough to qualify as anemia, I’ve had anemia-like symptoms my entire life, so. However, I didn’t really notice benefits of either iron or probiotics until I started taking them together, and now they’re huge. If I’m ever out and about and forget/wait to take these I immediately realize bc I start feeling faint lol.

Before Bed:

Magnesium bisglycinate

Cranberry

Turmeric collagen with univestin and bromelain

Melatonin

Notes: I’ve had bladder issues for a while which I didn’t even realize was a fibro thing; I’ve always had to pee a million times before bed etc. Cranberry fixes it. The turmeric collagen one is new but I’ve been shocked how much it actually helps with joint pain and mobility. The magnesium I’m not 100 on but my fatigue situation has gotten better so it can’t be hurting at least.

Is it annoying to take so many things throughout the day? Yes, but I just fill up my pill containers on Sunday and then it’s all ready for the rest of the week, so not the worst. Would it be better to get all these nutrients from food? Probably, duh, but we’re living life on hard mode already and I don’t need to make it even harder so pls don’t bring that up lol.