Praying for the Wicked

‘Me, at least, if it counts     Happy birthday, Sunshine. Welcome to the 35club. I hope your day is filled with love, and light, and all the happiness you deserve. Never forget you are loved.  Here’s to your 35th trip around the sun being a prosperous one.        With love               your Moon, Ryan x’

With the card is a package wrapped in brown paper, sealed with wax, tied with string, attached to it was a single lily (to represent Brendon’s birth month, and also to keep away negative energy) and a gift tag that read 'I found this completely by chance. Not sure if the subject is of any interest to you but the back of it might be. Ryan x'  Inside the wrapping is a wooden box, just large enough to fit the postcard inside, resting safely on faux velvet backing board. 

What the… WOW! Loving this! REALLY LOVING THIS!!!

Come over and let’s go out. Don’t leave me here alone on my birthday!

Ryan: I didn’t mean this second, but one day. Whenever you can. If you want to.  Ryan: That’s surprised me. I didn’t think you were into any sports. I can teach you. Ryan: Oh. Yes, you’re right, it could be fun. 

B:  I know, I know. 

B:  I’m not into watching them on TV, but I never really was.  I have always went to games and stuff when I get handed some tickets.   I really don’t follow any. 

Ryan: I love this. Please write it.  Ryan: You do? I wish I’d known this sooner. I have a season pass, they just played their last game at home for a little while yesterday. The next home game will be on Sunday 17th. If you really want to go I’ll get you a ticket.  Ryan: Where might they wander to, Mr. Urie?

B:  Maybe in the morning.  My brain is slow tonight, aka might have had a couple hits. 

B:  Fuck yeah.  Who doesn’t love hockey?  I always wanted to play but I kind of suck so... I’ll stick with music. 

Ryan: About a melody that falls in love and gets divorced? I like it. Ryan: You can’t? You should come to a Kings game with me. Boy gets rowdy.  Ryan: We were. 17? 18? A million years ago it feels like. I’m already 35, watch it bub. 

B:  Yes, but they also go through the whole dance before deciding that it isn’t quite right. 

B:  Get us tickets.  I fucking love hockey. 

Ryan: Thank you. Ryan: That was the best analogy I’ve ever heard, I think. I woke up at 4am with a chord progression in my head and by the time I turned on the light to write it down the fae had stolen it out of my head. I’ve also got the words ‘scream me a dream’ in my head. I probably won’t do anything with them, but I like the way they sound together.  Ryan: I’m okay. Kinda miss you, if it’s not too bold to say.

B:  You might be a little biased there.  It was a good one though, and pretty fucking accurate.  Getting those words and that melody to actually like each other will take a lot of work. 

B:  SCREAM ME A DREAM!  It kind of works.  I’d have to work something suiting around it.  Maybe whispering it....  Like being quiet when all you want to do is scream.  I’m feeling that. 

Ryan: Country music is not even on my radar.

Ryan: If I was aware of it I've forgotten about it, I thought it was going to be like a Weird Al parody song when I saw the title. I've seen the memes.

Ryan: You think so? It's not only been around so long because you keep beating that dead horse? 🤣

Brendon: Not really my cuppa either, but someone sent it to me.

Brendon: It kind of was, but not quite. It's funny though.

Ryan: Completely by accident found a country cover of Sins

Ryan: The lyrics were changed to "It's much better to face these kinda things with another Miller Light up on the porch"

Ryan: Oh and the song was called "I Write Sins Not Tractors". I'm not kidding.

Ryan: Like am I a joke to you? 😅

Brendon: Oh that! I've heard it. Ummmm.... okay I laughed too. It was pretty funny.

Brendon: Don't be offended though, it's also a meme.

Brendon: Think of it as flattery. Like they liked it so they made a parody. Look at Weird Al - I'd totally let him do anything I've done.

That is how I always felt about music, but I actually started out in acting. Breaking out in the film business was easier for me, but I am a strong believer things come with in your time so breaking in to acting first was meant to happen. I can’t wait to hear it.

Everyone has their story.  We came from nothing and got lucky.  A lot do that, or they fall in where they can and make a go of it until they can do what they want.  Either way, it’s all good.  It gives you a lot of stories to tell later. 

   ☰ - Ryan nodded. He remembered the bottle. It scared him when Brendon went down. He painted himself a black eye the next day with eye shadows in solidarity to not draw attention to Brendon’s.    He looked at him again, wiping tears from his freckled cheeks with a gentle hand. Listening to his words, taking them in, letting them sit in the corners of his mind, considering his replies carefully. Ryan did not often answer quickly, he had to give himself time to think.  Words were important to him, what he said mattered, he lead from his heart always. “You just grew up a lot quicker than I did,” he told him, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone. It took him a long time to let go of that sound he was clinging on to. He didn’t even look the same any more. The question made him look down at his toes again, he knew what he wanted to say but his answer scared him, so he just shrugged and pressed his forehead against Brendon’s again, hoping somehow he could put his thoughts into Brendon’s head so he wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

That whole bottle incident... Brendon had been a little shook, but he had a determination to not let that affect him.  That was Brendon in life too.  He wasn’t going down like that.  He showed up, he made things work, he kept fucking going.  This whole issue had been the first that really took that drive and will to push through.