Wen

Tonight was one of those nights where all you wanted was one drink, just one! But that never happens. I was ok about it not being one because I was drinking with two people that I enjoy having a drink and talking about all of us. That didn’t happen either! I was asked for a favor and like always I can’t say no, I did it. Took him home and didn’t end well. Drunken thoughts were spoken and I don’t know if he was being serious or just playing but a drunk always speaks their mind and now I just feel confused. He hurt me emotionally and did something way out of line but I’m not going to judge him for it because he was intoxicated asf. This is where I drop my white flag in surrender. Always trying to think I find a guy friend that will understand what I want and be able to discuss things in an adult manner but that will never seem to happen. I’ve lost hope and trust in men. Honestly, why does he want to give me rules as well if we’re not a couple? No one said I was going to want you as my man just because I’m down to mess around here and there. Hell no! I’m honestly done thinking at least one guy can be honest, but that’s a lie! Or how about when we have a good time and by the next day people seem to know. Then you wonder why I’m such a bitch to you. I hate how men can be hoes but the minute a woman is, it’s the end of the world. I’m just tired of all the nonsense and bs. In the end men just don’t know what they want just like I don’t either and that’s ok but please don’t think you can make me your property if we’re not exclusive. If I don’t do that to you, what makes you think it’s ok for you to do it? And also don’t tell me that I’m clingy because I’m so not! If I text you the next and want to see you it’s because I like you as a person. I’m not trying to marry you bro. I’m just trying to keep you having a good time with me. That’s all. I’ve just realize that men think we want a relationship but some of us don’t. We’re just trying to f***. I mean I don’t know how much more clear you want me to say it but it seems like I do have to say it that way. I might be wrong in all this but this is my point of view and the way I get treated. I’m not only speaking about one person either...these are several encounters I’ve had and just now have finally made me realize that aren’t worth my time. I might not stop it now but surely will let go of them because I don’t need this type of treatment. I know my value and it should be at least with one person that is blunt and knows what they want.

Day 1