Roll Over & Play Dead

I want to meet new people The one I can write about Mysteries waiting to be unfold Awkward silence

I want to sing old songs That keep me young And unafraid

I want to be loved like her Apple of the eye Inches from you Closest be

I want to write books not a sad story No to cancerous love affair My memoirs with you

It was the question that broke the ice and slowly it melted and turned to water longing and touching the friction another liquid comes and comes and comes

This time its different you are no longer innocent this time its just lust, you wanted more but its just not it, she is not her and she is with you

Can you please stop typing now? get this present I have for you, come here or I'll come to you jfehkhnfjwbvjbFf efjfkjfe

Its been almost a year.

And I’m still missing you, lolo. Not a single day passed without me thinking how you are up there. How I wish you were still here, I bet everything will be different.

She’s been in and out of the hospital since then, although she’s regaining some strength now, I know her body still weakens each day. I’ve been keeping a positive mood every time I’m around her but its like she has this force field that I cannot get into. Oh how I miss her cooking, now she can’t stay inside the kitchen for too long, her Bistek doesn’t have that zing I used to taste. Her laughter every time I tickle her turned into a distemper. Its like she’s given up on life, and I can’t changed it back. Even the house feels so eerie, its like a blackhole sucking me more into a deep sadness.Its slowly devouring me, I miss her like I miss you. Everyday, I do.

Despite that, I’ll still try and keep her smiling. I will, I promise.

We still managed to be friends, we still talk in the wee hours of the morning, ranting about life and how our happy our exes are now. Actually this made me think that you were a little bit perfect for me. You were this person who appreciated the littlest things, even the first time when you tried to guess what blend of coffee I like, and you end up getting me a cookie instead because you remembered I hate the taste of that bitter drink. "Oyeah, masyado ka na nga palang bitter, you don't need coffee" Of all friends, you were also the one who is down for all, I can still remember when we sneaked that late evening, I can still remember how you drive while singing JB's songs and the wind brushing through your hair.

Despite that, I hated the perfection. I was the girl that needed challenge, (or maybe I got used to being hurt and having that hopeless love) I wasn’t just sure.

Although you were probably the right one, it was just to good to be true.

I'm mad by how I even got to this point. They say that you need to get to know yourself first before even getting to know other people, but for me, its causing trouble even more. I guess, sometimes the lesser you know about yourself is better.

Too many windows opened it ain't just right a dirty mat is still better than a blurry pane