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Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

you're my dad and to some extent my wife

anti abortion propaganda that tries to like scare you into feeling guilty by reminding you that the fetus has body parts are so funny. "uwu please don't abort me I have eyes at 4 weeks old 🥺" nice try sucker I don't care if you see it coming

I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favourite

NEED Soldier Boy to spank my pussy and pinch my clit and bite me and hold my legs so far apart it hurts and fuck me without any prep and pull my hair and choke me and slap me.....also need Soldier Boy to gently wipe the blood from my thighs and tuck me under the blankets and hold me to his chest and tell me I'm good and wipe my tears with his big hands and soothe the bite marks with his tongue and let me suck on his fingers and call me his sweet puppy and-

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable