feelinggrunge

I lay here thinking about all you did to me and thinking about how you hurt me. I feel as though my heart was ripped out of my chest and it is slowly healing. I don’t know how to even look at myself in the mirror most days. You’ve taken away any confidence that I had or have, and left me with nothing. How can you tell somebody that you love them, when you really don’t? That’s something that doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t make sense how you can walk down the aisle and watch me walk to you and say I do and become my husband, yet at the same time be sleeping with another woman. How can you put somebody through that type of pain? How can you stare at another person and promise them everything just to take it away? Confusion is what I feel right now. I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel like I don’t know how to live my life anymore. I have become a ghost in my own home. How am I ever supposed to love another again? How am I supposed to love myself?

Do you ever feel like your world is crumbling around you? Like you have no control over your own life? Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and wonder how you got here? How did you let yourself be defeated this badly and treated with so much disrespect?