immortalized

Hey Tumblr, my old friend,

It’s been a while, buy hey I’m not dead! 

I’m actually surprised I’ve come to last this long

The past year have made me fragile

Far from strong

But here I am about to celebrate my 25th

Though there are still traces of grief

and I don’t know whether to feel burden or relief 

I’m trying to look at the brighter side of things

Kinda excited to hear my friends sing

Ah my friends,

Those who veered me away from my end

I am excited to celebrate with you

Cause with my family, it’s just hard to show what’s true

Because though they say “happy birthday to you”

They somehow manage to make me feel blue

But enough about them,

Let’s go back to me

It is after all my birthday

and the song requires me to be happy

I am excited for tomorrow

That’s for sure

But tonight I am feeling suffocated 

I feel the pressure 

I really hope I keep finding things

I honestly don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore. I should learn how to say no. I should not be so impulsive. But the more I try to get my shit together, the more I find myself falling apart. 

Once upon a time I scrolled my way through countless blogs every night till the wee hours of the morning, and wrote some of my own. Those were the simpler times. Unknowingly, those were the nights that honed who I am today. 

A few days ago, a co-worker told me about a talk given by a successful creative professional. The speaker reached the top of the creative hierarchy in a big time ad agency, but she felt unhappy. So she decided to re-evaluate her life. She sought to find her passion. It sounds super cliche, but she gave a clear and simple definition of what passion is which differentiated her advice from everything else I’ve heard before: 

Passion is what you used to do for hours on end without getting tired when you were a teenager. 

It made me realize that I am not truly happy living “my dream job.” I thought I wanted this. I cried for this. My nose freaking bled because of this. But I just feel so unmotivated every weekday morning. 

Hello Tumblr world! It’s been a while since I last wrote a personal post. I’m not really sure if any of my tumblr friends are still active here, but to whoever is reading right now, if you like my random thoughts here then you might also like to check out my personal copywriting project that I am still hesitant to share to the outside tumblr world haha! 

The link is: https://mikeemakes.tumblr.com/