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He knows how all the pieces work and he's a VERY disciplined person despite his past residency with his insanely impulsive drug dealer uncle. Law managed to get through a 4 year bachelor's degree and just completed his last year of medical school. That's 8 years of no problem keeping to himself WITH Rosi making him go to therapy frequently all while not letting himself get distracted by frivolities like sex. He'd even dogged hanging out with Bepo, Shachi and Penguin for study more often than not. Though part of that was to hide away from the teasing about his love life or lack there of which only seemed to get worse over the years.

Penguin was relentless now, after a drunken confession from Law himself that he'd started seeing someone a few months ago when his exams were officially over. On the threat of losing his life in a tragic accident where there simply was no medical procedure that could possibly make his death avoidable, Penguin quickly swore himself to secrecy. That didn't stop him from teasing Law.

"No way Shachi'll believe I'd just stop for no reason! No! Hell even Bepo would believe that!" was the excuse given. Unfortunately Law couldn't really argue with that logic. Shachi was slightly more bearable whenever the topic would come up. Bepo on the other hand was Laws favourite for a reason. The only time he'd ask law would be out of genuine concern that his best friend would die without making a meaningful connection to anyone outside their little group. All Law needed to do to pivot Bepo away from that conversation was a quick glare in his direction.

So really, this was just unfair. You shouldn't feel as heavenly you do.

How the hell did he even get here?

-

The guys had taken him out for a celebratory dinner, a congratulations for getting his residency. After one too many drinks and jibes, one comment got just a bit too far under his skin.

"D'jya think Law's only becomin a doctor cause... he knows its the closest he'd get to bein able to touch a lady?" Shachi slurred drunkenly. Law really was doing to snap if this came up again. One of his closest friends inadvertently called him a predator because of how convinced he was that Law would never lose his virginity. That did it. Law snapped up from the bar and downed the last of his drink, turning from the group just as quickly, marching out the door.

"Hey! Cap! Where're you going?!" Bepo called out, obviously worried that Law was hurt by Shachi's thoughtless remark. "He di-"

Law quickly cut off Bepo by yelling back "I'm going to touch my woman so you all can fuck off!"

The confused silence from the group was taken as an invitation for Pen to tell his friends all about you. Law didn't stop him, he was on a mission now.

-

The "how" didn't matter for now, Law couldn't care less. Law came home to find you and wordlessly started to kiss you as the door clicked shut behind him. This wasn't the familiar soft, intimate touch you were used to- this was something else, another beast entirely. You'd known of Laws dry sex life when you first got together and that was perfectly fine with you. He wasn't a particularly lustful person and that was completely normal.

Having him all but barge into your shared living space and give you the heaviest kiss you'd ever gotten from the man was just a wake up call to your own long dormant libido. When he'd broken away from you for air, lips glistening and raw, you managed to breathe out a quick,

"Hello, Mr. Trafalgar. I'm guessing you'd have fun with the boys..?" Your breathlessness and barely hidden excitement broke what little resolve Law still had in him to hold on, not let Shachi of all people get to him this much and salvage his dignity.

"Hey- I.. I'm ready to try. Would you want to?" His voice was low, husky and his words seemed to slide into one another, he was definitely tipsy. You knew what Law was talking about and wouldn't try to embarrass him by explicitly mentioning that he was asking you to take his virginity. The thought made your chest tight with anticipation and also worry.

"Are you sure, Law? We can wait till your head is a bit clearer. I don't want you to regret anything, okay?"

Looking down at you he all but growled out a yes. He was sure especially seeing you now in all your glory. Baited breath, eyes blown wide and glossy with desire. With want. His exams were done, this wasn't a liability for him now. He could take you now as he'd wanted to without the fear of failure looming over him.

"Please, love." With those two simple words, the mutual yearning between you was established and there was nothing left to say. His deft, steady fingers glided across the material of your shirt as he pushed both your way further into your home. His fingers made their way to your sides, pushing into your body with just enough force that he could make out every part of you. He couldn't help himself, he needed to know every single piece of you, not just the warmth of your flesh under his or the feeling of your blood rushing through your veins as your heart beat accelerated but everything.

The idea of being the only one who would be able to know this went straight to his hardening bulge. You might have been more experienced than him and had more partners but you'd never dated a man like Law. He was sure that no one else would have taken the time to learn your body in the way hes going to, to learn every curve and dent, feel every muscle, to map out every artery.

No matter what the mouth said, the rest of your body couldn't lie and Law already knew he was going to be addicted to it, to this.

He traced out the shape of your chest, counting all seven vertebrosternal ribs as you moved backwards in time with him. He watched as your vertebrochondral ribs flared up in time with your quickening breaths and feeling the flexibility of your free ribs as his hands snaked further down your chest. Seeing his effect in you was driving him crazy. Your hands crawling up his back to hold the back of his neck to bring you closer almost made him forget his almost academic study of you but he couldn't allow himself that, not until he could be sure he had ever last detail committed to his memory.

By the time he'd reached the end of your shirt, you too had reached the couch. It was good enough Law had decided. He'd gotten just a taste of you and couldn't waste the what- ten seconds? it would take to reach either bedroom.

"May I?" his voice broke through your silence, your lust filled brain didnt process what exactly he was asking you but you trusted him completely. When you nodded, you realised his finger was resting on the hem of your shirt and he'd been asking if he was allowed to remove it. Something about the small action, the asking even in the state he was in now made your heart sing.

Law slipped your shirt over your head, his eyes taking in every spec of you he could. He felt Impossibly hard, heat rising to his cheeks. He swore he could come right now, the sight of you alone is enough. To hide his embarrassment law nestled his head in the crook of your neck. Latching his mouth around your neck he felt your SCM strain as you looked up to your ceiling from the unexpected bite, yes studying you was delicious. Much more rewarding feeling than medicine too.

"Law, your eager... let me help you out too?" Your voice was so close, your breath brushed against his ear. Your words alone made him shiver. The hands formerly supporting his neck made their way to his chest first pushing his head back so you could take in the vision of him before you, flushed and desperate then making your way to the collar of his shirt. Law was watching your fingers gently undoing the buttons of his shirt with such interest that you could help but tease the poor surgeon-to-be, pausing to track your nails over the outline of his tattoos as they came into view. Once his shirt was removed you made your way to undoing his pants, freeing his length. Biting your cheek at the sight, you coil your fingers round him as you make your way to his lap, placing yourself gently on his thighs avoiding contact with his member.

"How would you like to do this then, Doctor?" You ask at least pretending to be a bit coy as you careful start working your hand up and down his dick, giving his a small taste of the friction hes desperate for. Law can feel the pre leaking out his tip already. He can tell the shyness in your voice is faked, of course but he's still grateful for the effort.

If he were the only one acting shy he wasn't sure he could handle this. Speaking of things that he was grateful to you for, your choosing to wear a skirt today really was a blessing. You on top of him like this, breasts swaddled in your favourite bra, the weight of your body on his while you were relaxed enough that you looked soft and loose was one he wanted seared into his brain. He should be used to this- he sees female bodies all the time in his studies but none of them are real. None of them are you and none of them melt under his touch. Taking both your lumbar regions in his hands, law pulls you closer to him. Wrapping an arm around you, supporting you by the small of your back, his other hand comes to rest flat on your stomach.

"Like this." He confesses, before adding. "...Can I touch you first?"

With a quick chuckle to yourself you agree. "I'm yours, of course you can." with that his eyes widen more than you thought possible. Your boyfriend was being irresistibly cute, how could you deny him anything like this?

Something about hearing you call yourself his, so openly and freely- like it's an obvious fact of life only manages to inflate Laws mood further. His fingers make their way up your skirt. If he were to take it off you now then he won't be able to make himself last at all. He feels the warmth of your pussy and the leaking dampness that resides there through the cloth of your underwear, which is then quickly pulled to the side. You shudder and gasp at the sudden exposure to your cold apartment air. Law carefully places a finger over your vagina, it feels unreal seeing how your labia parts allow him access to your most vulnerable state.

He shouldn't already feel this weak from just watching his fingers disappear into your warmth as they sink into you. His steady strong finger works their way into you, opening you up for him and you find yourself lost in looking at him. Law looks just as focused and serious as ever. If you hadn't known him you wouldn't be able to see just how nervous he is. You want to reach out and reassure him but you know better than to do that.

Laws eyes meet yours as his fingers leave your body. You can't help but miss their warmth. You bring yourself Impossibly closer to him, feeling the strain of his cock underneath you, you guide him to your entrance.

"We can put it in whenever you're ready, Trafalgar." Not a moment after you let out that playful hum you feel yourself being lowered onto him. The stretch is delicious. The moan you leave out is definitely real, you hadn't expected Law to move you immediately and didn't have time to catch yourself. The noise goes unnoticed by your partner as he lets out a guttural groan.

"Shit, you feel so good hon..." Law is desperate to get you onto him fully but doesn't want to hurt you. You can hear how much hes holding back in his voice, in the way his grip on your sides tightens to a vice-like degree. You take the lead and push yourself down to completion in one movement and Law swears he can see stars. He bucks up unknowingly at the action and you take this as an invitation to move. You grind against him, lost in the way he melts underneath you, seeing your usually stoic, seriously boyfriend so undone spurs you on as you move your hips. You see him cover his mouth with his hand before hissing out,

"Wait- im going... im way too close. T-this can't end yet." Laws eyes are glossy and his exposed body glistens with sweat, you can feel his every reaction to your movements. His dick twitching inside you is desperate for release and you plan on giving Law what he needs. You don't stop grinding against him even as he releases inside of you, riding him out. His hands move from your sides to cover his blushing face.

"You can't ever bring this up, I'm serious." he mutters into his hands. Bringing yours down to lay on top of his chest, you smile and grip around his wrists to uncover his face. As his eyes meet yours he gulps, you smile up at him sweetly telling him it's okay, that you can always go another round later.

Planting a kiss on his forehead, you leave him, much to Laws dismay, to get a towel to clean up and to get law some Water and a snack. You want to treat your man well after his first time, despite his embarrassment you think he did really well.

You're also very aware that no matter what he does, Laws are bound to be teased to death by his friends tomorrow.

A/N: ts NOT betad and also my first proper attempt at writing a ff so please ignore the fact is shit 🙏🙏🙏 xoxoxo thank you

----

"Those trailblazers had it good"

You'd decided officially when you'd tripped over some ice in the outlying snowplanes near where poor misfortune of a Silvermain Guard met their end- most likely to a fragmentum creature of some sort. The site of that armour was distracting enough to where you'd forgotten to watch your step. It really was a rooky move especially when you'd thought about just how many times you've trekked this path before. The second thought you had had was how lucky you'd been to have landed on the snow rather than that pile of metal where man used to be.

Even face first in a field of snow you couldn't get those travelers off your mind lately. Understandably you'd thought but if your dear friend Natasha was being honest the amount was... a bit over the top. When you'd confided in her about your growing bitterness towards the express crew, Natasha took your hand in her own with a soft look of consern. That look alone was enough to make your stomach turn and for you to decide that your grievances would stay with you till the grave.

Unfortunately, an idea which isn't spoken doesn't simply die off in ones mind. It was maddening and left you feeling insane for seemingly being the only person in Belobog (it's Jarilo now, Jarilo-VI your mind helpful corrected.) who couldn't bear the travelers. Even hearing their name in passing was enough to make you sour for the day.

But really! They'd came in and cleaned up the biggest crisis your home had ever faced, thawing out the eternal freeze and just left again like they'd never been here and your supposed to just move on from that? You do see them occasionally, running around helping out locals and buying food from your homeworld and doing... other strange things if your eyes hadn't deceived you last month when you swore you'd seen a grey head of hair asking a bin how they should act as the 'monarch of trash', either way your point still stands. They'd a seven hundred year crisis over in what... four days or something?

You should be grateful- worship the ground they walk on and praise their names from the highest peak of Jarilo; another gift those travelers gave you... the long forgotten name of your homeworld and hell to top it all off, they had connected you with the rest of the galaxy. You couldn't like them. (A dark corner of your mind whispers out that there must be something deeply wrong with you for that but like the rest of the things you can change, you ignore it.) The name Jarilo-VI was heavy on your tongue, the word didn't fit in your mouth. That must count for something- that must prove this growing depth of ugly feelings you've got hasn't sprung up from nothing.

They came in and saved the day and changed everything, your home didn't look like itself nowadays, too busy being infested with redevelopment plans and swarming with fancy space corpos- their actual corporation name escapes you- to be the place you remember growing up around. It's all changed and all too quickly. You can freely visit the surface now, yet another boon that was passed onto you from Akavhils' followers, they really did a lot damage for the short period of time they stayed here. You should be over the moon with that but the city of Belobog isnt your home and you don't know the streets there.

Home, Zary Gora, just outside Belobog. You all lasted so long in the winter- The Preservation saved you only because of the proximity you had to Belobog- Qlipoth wanted to leave you to freeze like the rest- like every other place here, every village, town, city-

Before you spiral more, thinking of what you know deep down the real cause of your one-sided war with the Astral Express' kindness a voice pierced your silent contemplation.

"Well what do we have here, if it isn't my dear Baker.- now I don't know if you already know this but uh- when you fall down, you can get back up! And hey since I'm such a good guy I'll let that advice pass over free of charge!"

Sampo. Goddamn. Koski. You cannot handle this embarrassment right now. You don't think you can handle anything.

With your eyes screwed shut, the groan that escapes you is a gutteral thing that comes from the depths of your very soul. Its honesty cannot be hidden even by the face full of snow muffling it. It's more honest than you've ever ment to be towards this man lately. The thought of being honest now sends a shiver down your spine. Maybe thats the snow actually- you should get up. Why hadn't you done that immediately? After a moment of quite resignation, you lift yourself from the ground with the grace of a seal but it was affective. You wince at both the feeling of the biting icey wind against your now wet face and just how much effort picking yourself took. Moving makes you feel the fresh fallen snow slide off you back. Just how long did you lay in the snow?

Before you can dread how sick you're definitely going to get for this moment of weakness and how Nat is definitely going to scold you you're taken by surprised to see no-one directly infront of you so you turn your head to the right. A healthy guess of Sampos location due to the Guards remnants being to your left. (its uncanny how well he hides his present, thinking back you never heard him approach you either...) You still couldn't be fully sure, for all you know he could be standing behind you. It'd be weird and probably way less sociable but with Sampo you've learnt to never be fully certain you know what the man's actions are going to be.

This habit of yours has proven beneficial to you once again, being braced for anything allowed you to gracefully hide away how your face crumpled in disgust as your eyes landed not on Sampo but the golden eyed traveler peaking over his shoulder at you. You don't have the strength for this today, you don't think you ever would. Other than that acidic bitterness that's wrapped itself around your mind you couldn't remember how it felt to have the mental capacity to approach this felt like, the only think you can do it repeat a mantra of 'be civil' to yourself.

"Koski." His name leaves you more hostile than intended. Get it together. "and you must be..."

You rise to your feet, wiping down the snow that speckles your clothes. Be Civil. Looking at their wrist you see that they have on a golden wristband. Nat had told you about this- shit what was it, gold for female and black for male.

"Stelle?"

or was it the other way around..?

The anxious smile you gave must not have translated as you see hands jump to push Sampo out of their way then subsequently feel yourself grabbed by the shoulders and pulled into a crushing hug. Aeons how strong was this kid?!

"Woaaaahhh- you got it right! I guess not EVERYONE-" You don't miss the pointed look that she throws toward Sampo "-doesn't know their colours! Hey wait, how did you know that..?"

They push you back by the shoulders, scrutinising your face a little, looking for answers- what if they find your ugliness instead? The traitorous part of your mind speaks up again. Be. Civil.

"Oh well, I'm friends with Natasha, they uh... had explained- Well- Sorry on second"

You pause. clear your head, get the words out right- Be Civil.

"Nat was telling me about how she'd helped you lot out when she was fixing me up a bit and called you both Stelle and Caelus. I told her I'd thought only three Travelers came so she had to explain the your gender fluidity to me."

After you'd finished the warm hands still pressed onto your shoulders flung into action again- was she always so animated? The hands that help you where now firmly resting on her hips, who knew how long they'd stay there for.

"That makes sense, thank you though It's sweet of you to remember! Dunno why the old man here said you were a hardass-"

A gasp comes from the tall man besides her in a tone all too familiar to you. It used to stir flutters in your chest lead to colour blooming up to your face, way back when. Now it just reminds you that the days when you could let yourself think like that are well and truly gone, after all he'd described you to a stranger, more than that someone he's friends and from what you've heard definitely wants in her good books with as a 'hardass.' probably more than that too seeing as the man in question cut off Stelle. It stung more than you'll admit to yourself. A deep, sting that settles into a blunt pressure you know won't leave, not anytime soon.

"My friend! I am hurt, me, THE Sampo Koski, old? Sheesh... to think I was going helping you with this and on a low rate- That's it! you're getting the premium charge" You can't count how many times you've heard Sampo call himself an old-timer... the blunt pressure furthers itself against you. That's an inside thought though, you decide to keep that little fact to yourself besides it's Sampo. He's just dramatising as per usual. You need to stop thinking about the past. You really haven't seen him at all this year and last year wasn't any better. You only ever see Natasha and your customers now. You've been overdue to visit her for a while now, you bailed today with some lame excuse you no longer remember. In reality you just couldn't get up today. It took everything to drag yourself here. Should Natasha have seen you today...

You snap your gaze to Sampo again instead of drifting off with that thought. You think if his shoulders sag any lower he'll quickly will find that ice patch that landed you in the blanket of show below you. You can already tell this duo is going to be trouble for you, seeing Mr. Cold Feet eat shit would definitely help with your ability to stay *here* for this.

"Well, that definitely sounds like you two have something planned so I'll leave you too it- it was nice to meet you Stelle."

You turn to leave as quickly as you can. It's still so cold in the fields even with the eternal freeze gone. You don't miss how Sampo calls out that you are essential to their plans today nor Stelles' warm and disappointed goodbye. Disappointed..? That cant be right. Maybe Sampo promised I'd help her with something, it's happened before- Sampo promising your work. you'd always bend to his will in the end and he knew it. He knew all about the giggles you'd hide at his dramatics and how you magically forget to charge him for the extra baked goods you knew he'd bought for Hook and her friends. You were close enough to Sampo for him to notice you and you to notice him the same, it was as natural as breathing being around the conman. He'd felt closer to home than anything you'd found underground or in the city of Belobog. How did you loose that over the years?

Sampo watches his, no not his, he had to remind himself, baker turn and leave like they had places to be, like their life counted on it. He knew they didn't, the bakery is closed Midweek, Wednesday and Thursdays. That fact was half the reason he'd decided to help out the Trailblazers latest idea and you certainly weren't one to use one of your days off anywhere other than at Scotts or with the good Doctor, whether that was in her clinic or a personal visit was always a fifty-fifty.

"As flighty as ever! There goes the best shot you had, my partner in crime. Don't say Ol Samps' didn't try to getcha set here" Addressing his companion Sampo tried to save face on your behalf because Aha... what a meeting. Between the fact you looked like you wanted to jump out of your skin and Stelles' lack of boundaries and inability to act in halves about- well, anything it really was painfully awkward. It was a blatant lie of course- you weren't flighty. No, that was new, hell everything about how you've been acting recently is new.

He should have know when you weren't at Scotts and Natasha has said you'd gone off for 'a supply run', that she hadn't seen you for a while and to then have to check by the outer city after seeing no trace of you above or below ground that something was wrong. Natasha being the kind friend she is never usually told him where to find you if he didn't already know. "Keep them out of the chaos" she reasoned every time he would inquire, no matter how sweet he acted nor how many eyelashes would be bat her way. If not then, he DEFINITELY show have known when the ten minutes walk towards where they'd found you, laying face first in the snow, you'd made no effort to move. It hardly looked like you were even trying to breathe.

Sampo hated that. He hated that he hadn't payed attention to the most obvious signs something was not well with one of his oldest companions on Jarilo-VI. A few years back maybe even just two year he'd be able to know just what was on your mind from the furrow of your brow or how freely you'd laugh but now- when was the last time he heard you laugh? That question stilled his heart. He couldn't remember. When was the last time he'd hear you sans just now?

"Stelle, my dear traveler, Saviour of the planet, O' great thawer of world- listen I know just how important this is to you and really it is an admiral study- who else would have the gusto and stomach to test every baked good on this planet not only once but twice! I mean really, comparing how they hold up when stale is a masterstroke of an idea and it really does just shatter my heart to bail out on you now- definitely do tell me your findings I need to know! Really, DYING with anticipation over here but that little baker friend of mine could use the Koski special delivery service! Remember when Nat said they were getting supplies? Well between you and me there was no cart or anything with 'em to haul home goods and Sampo does not miss a buisness deal when it's staring him down in the face! What would my loyal clients think?! I have a reputation to uphold! You understand right?"

Stelle blinks up at him owlishly, before nodding. "Can't have baked goods without the stuff to bake em. I'll come with! More hands the quicker I can get to my research right?"

Shit. Sampo might have missed the obvious signs but he didn't miss how you had had to school the glare off your face seeing Stelle. He's not gotten THAT clueless to you yet. How can he loose Stelle? Mission Laugh definitely depended on this- what on earth can he say? Stelle is one of the most determined Stubborn people he knows.

"ehe... you've gotta get your appetite ready, thats a big task!" That definitely will not work Koski, think of literally anything else. "Oh and you need to prep your work station right? This is a scientific study after all, charts, spreadsheets- the works, you know? People won't take this serious if not for the presentation! You need to get the whole sha-bang ready! By the time all thats done, well... in Sampos professional opinion, the treats wont be there freshest! Trust me, I've had many- I know these things! Why dont you go hunt down Dan Heng to do all that boring stuff and I'll get my our baker! What do you say partner, sound like a plan?"

Tedious work was the Trailblazers true weakness. Maybe it was wrong to use that against them, then again, buisness is buisness and Sampo refuses to let you go the rest of today without laughing now. He's sure that if Stelle knew, they'd totally get it- not that he's planning on telling them. After confirm the plan Sampo gets to work on hunting you down, not a hard task because any time he's tried to teach you his signature 'snow-walking' it's clearly not stuck.

The track you left behind that are quickly disappearing with the snow fall start as normal as any other but the further along Sampo follows, the deeper they seem to go, loosing their form looking heavy, like you were dragging your feet while walking. It definitely caught his attention, between this and your reaction to Stelle (Seriously! hes never met anyone Stelle can't charm, how they do it he's not sure but they always do in the end.) Sampo can't lie and say he isn't getting worried. Does he even had the right to worry? He hasn't seen you properly in so long and the fact he can't say when you drew away into yourself settles like a rock- no a boulder in his stomach.

The tracks lead him to an old village. Unlike most this place had actually lasted well into the eternal freeze, only becoming desolate withing the last decade. It was close enough to Belobog that the Preservation had unintentional shielded half their land, allowed the growth of crops and some warmth, just enough to get by. Generations of people lived here until the Silvermain Guards deemed trading and travel too risky, forcing locals to relocate into Belobog or to die out in the cold. Why on earth where you here? After a short collection of nerves- why are you nervous Sampo, get it together! Every fool can make anyone laugh, you aren't that far removed from the Masks yet. It's them you know you can make them laugh.

Sampo calls out your name. You don't respond, he hadn't expected you to. Instead he walks up to the only home which had the snow beneath the door unsettled and knocks twice. He hears the movement inside and the rattle of a hand handle on an old doorknob.

"You're supposed to say whose there, that's the oldest joke in the book!" he manages to squeak out, dragging out imaginary disappointment for the slightest chance it'll put a smile on your face before you open the door fully. You'd always stumble at the dumbest of his antics when you were trying to be serious, it's something he learnt quickly after meeting you. The fond memory of your lives colliding together is one he cant help but yearn for when he sees your face front on again, no door dividing you. Your eyes don't look like they're seeing him, deep-set bags rest beneath and when had your smile disappeared so fully?

When you'd first met, you held yourself higher, looked lighter and tried your best to always wear an honest smile, even when the most notorious man around had near crashed into your bakery, sliding to hide behind your counter before you could even process everything that was happening. He'd been teasing the Silvermain Guards as he was known to do and one slight miscalculation left him only two steps ahead instead of three, which brought him to hiding out in a local business. He hadn't expected to be chased all the way down to Rivet Town but someone must have been threatened with a pay dock or something, tonight these guys were restless! You, being as sweet as what you sold clearly, shooed away the guards and asked him if he was alright, if he was in trouble, saying you'd never trusted the Guards anyway. You never did specify why, thinking back but anyway THAT took the cake for unexpected things happening today for him.

Of course he had later learnt you'd only come to Rivet Town recently and hadn't heard of his reputation yet but you both know despite that fact, even if you'd known his business model, you would have reacted the same. You were warm and kind, always smelling of flour and trying your best to help him out even when you knew who he was. You didn't even question when he asked you if you knew how to make wigs- you hadn't much to his dismay so when the Silvermain had banned wigs in Belobog, he had to be more creative then relying on you.

Reminiscing wouldn't help him now, he holds steady and you pear at him with those eyes that always seem to disarm him completely. "So, are you going to come in?" you ask slowly, your voice full of mistrust, had he fully lost you? Yeowch. "Only if you'll have me, Sampo has never intruded on you! You said so yourself, to a Silvermain guard no less- On the record, no takebackies!" He declares definitively waggling an eyebrow to sell his delivery as he makes his way inside. The place is definitely a home all right, unlike most places here it looks untouched- no packing up and leaving from this family. Stubborn people, he recons. "Weird place for a supply run, Sweetcakes"

You aren't able for this. Why on earth did you open the door, why on earth is Sampo Koski in your childhood home and how do you removed yourself from this situation.

"Can't I just visit my own home? Who said anything about a supply run?" The only answer your given at first is Sampo landing himself on your old couch with a raised eyebrow and frown. A beat passes as he realises that wasn't a rhetorical question.

"Natasha, don't tell me you've been lying to the good Doctor now too." Oh. so that was the lame excuse you gave Nat today. You don't join Sampo on the couch when you answer him no matter how much you crave resting your legs. Stay here too long then you know you won't leave... Rivet Town was much too loud in your opinion. Instead you find yourself turning to face away from him, rooting around in an old drawer and pocketing whatever you can find to make it look like you came here for a reason. A reason that makes sense- one that's so pretty on the ear that even Sampo won't unveil the truth in. You must have been quite for too long as you hear Sampo continue, his tone much more serious than you're accustomed to and more importantly much closer.

"You said this was your home?" An arm juts out over your shoulder to grab a photograph atop the drawer. You jump and drop whatever it was you were holding, Sampos' stealth is going to be the death of you. How do you even stand up fully silently? That's just... it's ludicrous! He totally know that you didn't come here for whatever you were picking up now too.

"I am going to put a bell on you, I swear- how do you do that?" Distract and deny, your reliable second option. Sampo is engrossed in that photo now, it's the only one still left in the house and suddenly you're glad you left it, you didn't need a photo of yourself as a child so it sat where it always did since it was taken.

Maybe his fascination will help you slip out of this, after all if he's here to confront you over disappearing on him what are you supposed to tell him "You're really pretty and despite your actions and means of living you've kept being nice to me and kids in the underground in a way that makes them happy so I've gotten far too attached to you and there's no way I'm dealing with that nor am I going to let you try dealing with me because I'm a mess and totally iced you out and also I hate your friends who saved out planet and I can't actually tell you why because I'm just resentful my village was too late to be saved by them despite all the good they did and that resentful cold part of me is disgusting and i need to lock it away forever so it doesn't taint anyone's perception of me?" he's not going to leave without whatever he came here for.

"Yeah. I grew up here. Zary Gora, I thought you would have realised that when I said I'd moved into Rivet Town." Going to move back you find yourself trapped as Sampo puts the photo back. Instead of just letting his arm rest at his side you find it laying on top of you, close but not invasive. It's a comfort you weren't ready for. An invitation to proximity thats so tempting. You should be stronger willed but It's Sampo, his familiarity hasn't faded with time. He doesn't even seem upset at you. Why isn't he? You'd taken him out of your life one piece at a time. Wednesdays were no longer full of fighting in Scotts' corner for a few extra credits while Sampo made a few more betting on you, cheering you on. You didn't get the Silvermain Guards at your door asking if you were with him whenever he needed an alibi and you didn't find your window latch broken with dinner on the table after work on particularly busy days anymore.

Thinking of everything you lost to that bitterness- you won't name it. You know exactly what it is thats inside you and it makes you want to cry.

Scratch that, you do cry as Sampo asks you what is really going on with you, letting more of his weight sit over your shoulder as he guides you to your couch. You feel completely undone by the wave of sadness that hits you, it's unlike your recent normal- that heavy sinking numbness that follows you like the plague, that makes mornings a full time job and nights restless, no, this sadness is engulfing and drowning. You can't stop it and you certainly cannot hide it either. There's no words you can or could, through your sobs you can hardly breathe let alone speak, use to explain to Sampo why you've been how you've been because there's no reason. It's foolish and absurd to the highest degree, this kind of monster should have a point but it just... doesn't. Even if you wanted to, you cant put a name on why. You're undeserving of this feeling. Nothing is wrong, everything is getting better- you should not be drowning here but you are and it feels so selfish.

Steady hands pull you into their embrace. Theres no words you can say so you just cry. It feels so pathetic. You feel so pathetic.

Sampo never thought he would make you cry, he didn't really! This clearly runs deeper than him but to have one simple question undo you so thoroughly was a deviation in itself. All he can do is hold you as you crumple into yourself, looking impossibly small. Bring you to the couch certainly was the right move. In the state you're in he doubts you could stand. Talking won't help now, could you even hear him if he tried? What can he do here? How does he help? Aeons, there's practically no heat in this place and definitely no water or food to comfort you with. The well this village had used is certainly gone dry or frozen over and anything edible would be expired by now. If all you can do is cry, he will let you.

Sampo couldn't tell anyone how long it'd been but eventually there was nothing left for you to turn into tears and had passed out from dehydration. You weren't okay and Sampo had yet to make you laugh. That just won't do. He bundles you up as best he can with the few dry and not absolutely rock solid frozen blankets he had found in your childhood home before carrying tou back to his. The walk shouldn't have felt as long as it had but your weight in his arms felt too light.

You couldn't have been eating well, this wasn't how you used to feel when he had held you before. He would know- he should be ashamed of how much he used to think about how you felt in his arms, he isn't. He took any opportunity to touch you before be it when he was running away from guards and pulled you into the chase when you were blissful minding your own business and happened to be unfortunate enough to be in this path of chaos or one of his favourite long running bits to do, should you ask him to grab something from a shelf in your bakery and he would instead pick you up and put you at height with whatever you'd needed. The missing weight felt like a hole was being carved into him chip by chip the more he thought of its implications. It felt strange, having you back in his home after nearly a year without contact. He was not letting that happen again- no sir! He might not have realised when it started but after his very reflective walk with you (technically?) that was most certainly not full of panic and worry, he'd realised just how loud your absence had been. Sampo was always happy he'd not been untidy but he was especially thankful that he wasn't a messy person today. His place definitely wasn't as clean as he like to have it for you guests but it was good enough besides, from what he had seen clutter likely would not help your headspace right now.

Only after he had every blanket he owned in top of you, a pint of cold water ready for you and made you some food, nothing fancy just Gołąbki although he hasn't added any mince. Just to be safe, he wasn't sure if you'd any issues with eating meat so better safe than sorry. Seeing you as you were, warm wrapped up and safe eased him lightly but you needed to eat and drink to get back the energy you'd undoubtedly lost. He called out your name as softly as he could and watched with baited breath as your eyes fluttered opened wearily. He let his head roll to the side, pointing out the water next to you wordless after you'd attempted to speak. Your throat was too dry to let out more than a creak after all. Seeing you pick the glass up was enough confirmation that you were- well not okay but okay for now. For the rest of the day to two of you had set in a tense at first but comfortable silence.

You didn't have to explain yourself. Aeons knows Sampo never did. Instead Sampo left you recover from what he loathes to say was definitely a breakdown at your leisure, offering you companionship and filling the silence with meaningless chatter and antics. It warms you in a way you hadn't realised you'd needed. The understanding from him went deeper then what you'd been able to understand yourself, Sampo knew your mind was too loud and the quite would only ever amplify what you'd felt, he knew that you wouldn't have the words to explain now, maybe some day in the far off future but certainly not at this time. That dull ache that followed you soothed just enough that by the time Sampo decided to tell the worst, most eye rolling joke you'd ever heard you couldn't help but laugh. It was absurd and really- the joke just wasn't funny but you had erupted anyway. Was it the joke, the absurdity of whatever today had even been, how despite your best efforts to hide away Sampo knew you still? A combination of all the above? You couldn't tell. Your eyes were squished close with just how boisterous your laughter had been and gods- you couldn't afford to cry more but the tears came anyway. Not sorrowful this time.

Sampo held his breath as you laughed, he understood now how a laugh could make mortal deity like in Ahas case. You looked wild and free. He might not have know what exactly caused this, what he said or did- theres no way it was that joke right? The second of thought is too much, he throws it away as soon as it had popped up in his mind. He only wants to see this- you. No point wasting space thinking of things when he can witness this instead. You, exuberant and covered in him, his things- his blankets in his home. He wants to drown in it. What a vision you are. He will never let you draw away from him again, not without fighting it tooth and nail.

This uninhibited hysteria was too precious to let slip by him. Whenever, no If ever you're ready to talk, if you ever find the words then he has to do everything in his power to let you know that your friend Sampo will be there for you. That he'll hold you and keep you safe.

If he were a braver man he'd tell you that he'll love you. He'll always harbour this knot of affection for you in his heart that he's tried and failed to undo. But he isn't. This moment between you is fleeting and he wont mess it up by saying something stupid now.

Maybe one day but for now...

You laughing is enough.

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