Faith is believing in something despite the fact there is no evidence to support it, and lots of evidence suggesting it’s wrong. It’s self-delusion. It’s believing because you want to, not because you have good reasons. “Faith” is conceding an idea cannot be validated and justified on its own merits.
There’s literally nothing that cannot be justified by “faith” alone. Nothing. No horrible thought, no vile deed, no grotesque act, that cannot be justified entirely by “faith.” “Faith” is unfalsifiable, which is an extremely good indicator it doesn’t bring truth or accuracy.
What we can conclude, then, is that you saved yourself. You justified your own existence to yourself, but did so through the sock-puppet of a “god”. Why do you find it necessary to give the credit to magical, intangible, creatures instead of your own desire to live?
I’m genuinely glad you’re still around, but it seems like the original problems haven’t gone away. They’re just masked behind things you, by your own admission, convinced yourself of just to survive. And while that might be fine in the middle of imminent danger, the problem is you’re still living with a workaround in place, a crutch. You need to resolve the underlying problem that brought you there in the first place, so you can remove that crutch, walk on your own, and move on from that emergency state you’re stuck in.
If you really believed in “god,” you wouldn’t mind moving on to your eternal afterlife. This one is a temporary waiting room, isn’t it? Doesn’t an eternal reward await? But you struggled to remain here, in a life that is barely a blip before the eternal bliss beyond this world. Right? We celebrate people dying, because this life isn’t really the true objective? Right? We get to live with “god” forever, and tell him endlessly how wonderful he is, right? Sounds like doubt to me. Pardon the pun, but thank god you do doubt. If you truly believed, you’d be gone.
My fear is that you’re only valuing yourself through the lens of a crazy, bronze-age superstition. That, to me, is an alarm bell. You, and people in general, have value because of your own qualities, because life is fleeting and temporary, not because of some undetectable, genocidal, violent, irrational magical wizard in the clouds.
Why would you think it’s a good idea to address heath issues by picturing stories of myths, magic and sky fairies, instead of seeking professional medical attention? Would you treat a child’s bronchitis by having “faith” or by seeing a doctor? If this isn’t what you do for the flu, diabetes, pneumonia or cancer, why would you think it’s a good idea for mental health issues?
Do you think that atheists and skeptics can’t and don’t believe in things? I believe in plenty of things: justice, integrity, honesty, equality, compassion, empathy, family, friends, community, the natural world around us, doing good for the sake of doing good, helping others, good food, good wine, good music, a smile, a kiss, a touch, good sex, the thrill of a fast car, the tranquility of quiet.
And I can substantiate and justify all of those things. I can also explain the evolutionary origin of many of them. That is, I don’t need to give up and resort to “faith.”
BTW here’s the kicker: your god either orchestrated it in the first place, or did nothing to stop what it knew would happen in the first place (is it, or is it not omniscient?). It’s either a sadist or doesn’t care. Considering how many children die and/or are raped each day, who it doesn’t save, probably both.
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