Reaching for the Horizon and Far Beyond
It's been a while since I've written on here reflecting on my year but its certainly been one of new discovery and reaching higher.
The biggest lesson this year for me was no longer to lose those I've continued to hold close but also to let go of those who no longer give me the time of day. I realized whom I should be giving my efforts and my love.
Also that setting boundaries is important. I've come across situations where I didn't feel comfortable about something and set clear lines to make sure those lines are not breached. It's helped my mental so much and has also made me aware of some habits I needed to break as I set those barriers down. These days the one I recommend most is to stop checking on people of the past that have stopped putting effort into connecting with you. They're not the ones in your life anymore, why do they deserve your time?
In the past years, I've also had this terrible self-talk in my head that's made me so unhealthy and so very concerned with my vanity that it's made me do some negative things to myself. However, this year, I tried extremely hard to change that and while I still have some work to do, I'm more in touch with myself internally than I ever was, checking in with myself, watching out for myself, and respectfully talking to myself. I never realized how important it is to change all this inside.
My therapist this year has made me progress far more than I could alone and I cannot stress enough how important mental health is these past couple years among the others who have already said as such.
I've found it difficult to date again and truth be told, I still do. I've been using this time to heal though I've been tempted more times than I can count to try again but something has always told me I wasn't ready and to respect that. I may possibly continue to be that anime teacher who's pretty cute but drinks a bunch and complains about her love life, hahaha.
I've realized I don't have many people in my life that I'm super duper close to and that truly, it's fine for that to be the case. People will come and go and it's really up to me and how I push onward. It's been a struggle for me to realize how I needed to be okay being alone but the more I've put effort into my own self-care, the easier it's been to see that.
Starting from about May, that's when I started to pursue things I loved once more. There was an energy in May that just seemed to pick me up and since then, I can look forward to reaching new heights in a craft I've loved for so long with a new spin. It's been refreshing and successful to say the least and I'm excited to continue onwards with it.
I also went back to Hawaii earlier this year and recounting every single time I've gone there, I've gone there with a huge struggle in mind, only to come back with less fear and sadness. It is definitely a place I have gone to heal a few times now and I mean, it's Hawaii... How could I not have a great time?
I'm excited for my life onwards and to live more for me without the idea of getting even or anything else negative to drive me towards what I want to do. I do them because I simply wish to do so and if people benefit from me going forward with them too then, amazing, haha.
January - April was really difficult but I've learned new tools to help my mental.
May - December was a wild ride in itself with new goals and values in mind and I hope to move onwards with them in mind.
Thanks for reading and have a happy new year in 2022.
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