deals with devils.

dazai’s muse is weirdly active rn – possibly bc his birthday is coming up in a few days – so go ahead and give this a like for a short starter with him!  i’ll try to get to them either today or tomorrow.

‘  it will not be easy.  ’

— Euripides, Hekabe (trans. by Anne Carson)

‘  all i need is for you to stay by my side.  ’ ‘  all of the love songs remind me of you.  ’ ‘  all of the words in the world can’t show how much you mean to me.  ’ ‘  boy,  could i use your love  &  affection right now.  ’ ‘  concept:  we’re both awake at 4 a.m.  i call you to hear your sleepy voice.  ’ ‘  cute thing that you do:  the most stereotypical giggle  &  then hiding your face.  ’ ‘  don’t let this be temporary.  ’ ‘  don’t worry about me.  i just want to know you’re okay.  ’ ‘  every day i get to see your gorgeous face is a good day.  ’ ‘  everything about our relationship feels so natural  &  perfect.  ’ ‘  feelings change,  but mine about you won’t.  ’ ‘  hey,  guess what?  i love you.  ’ ‘  hold me tight  &  tell me you love me.  ’ ‘  i always daydream about living with you.  ’ ‘  i am so exhausted,  but i’d sleep so much better with your arms around me.  ’ ‘  i can’t help but imagine living with you years from now.  ’ ‘  i can’t keep setting fires to keep you warm.  ’ ‘  i could listen to you talk about the things you love forever.  ’ ‘  i don’t think i’ll ever stop wanting you.  ’ ‘  i don’t want those memories any more.  ’ ‘  i forget who  &  where i am when we kiss.  ’ ‘  i get that warm,  pleasant feeling in my chest when i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i hope with all my heart that you love me like i love you.  ’ ‘  i hope you feel the same way you make me feel.  ’ ‘  i just want to softly cuddle with you  &  count the freckles on your cheek  &  i want to run my fingers through your hair.  ’ ‘  i know it’s getting scary,  but you’ve just got your perfect self out of bed  &  do the best with what you’ve got.  i believe in you.  ’ ‘  i love looking into your squinted eyes while we laugh.  ’ ‘  i love when you give me little kisses on my hand  &  cheek  &  neck.  it makes me feel so loved.  ’ ‘  i never thought i’d deserve the love you give me.  ’ ‘  i think you’ve shown me what love really is.  ’ ‘  i want the only thing between our bodies to be our love.  ’ ‘  i want the only thing between our love to be our lips.  ’ ‘  i want to bury my face in the crook of your neck until we both fall asleep.  ’ ‘  i want to listen to the beautiful song of your voice for hours.  ’ ‘  i want to make you just as happy as you make me.  ’ ‘  i want to wake up to your smile.  ’ ‘  i want to wrap my arms around you at 3 a.m.  &  tell you i love you.  ’ ‘  i want you to be my yesterday,  my today,  &  my tomorrow.  ’ ‘  i want you.  ’ ‘  i will always love you.  even when you don’t think it’s a possibility,  i am going to love you.  ’ ‘  i would sleep so much better with you right next to me.  ’ ‘  if only you could see your angelic self from my perspective.  ’ ‘  if you frequently play with my hair,  i might just fall in love with you.  ’ ‘  it’s amazing feeling the warmth of your love.  ’ ‘  it’s okay to have a bad day every once in a while.  ’ ‘  it’s so much easier to fall asleep when you’re in bed next to me,  running your gentle fingers down my back while we softly smile at each other through the darkness.  ’ ‘  i’d wait a lifetime to be in your arms.  ’ ‘  i’m all yours.  always.  ’ ‘  i’m always going to support you.  without even a second thought,  i’ll be there when you need me.  i want what’s best for you.  ’ ‘  just knowing you’re there comforts me.  ’ ‘  just thinking about how you make me blush.  ’ ‘  keep in mind all the things that you have to look forward to,  babe.  ’ ‘  kiss me under the starry sky.  ’ ‘  let me know if you’re in love with me too.  ’ ‘  let today be the day that everything changes.  you are capable of so much.  ’ ‘  let’s go on a cute,  cliché date.  ’ ‘  let’s sleep together under the stars.  ’ ‘  make yourself  &  your own happiness you priority.  ’ ‘  make yourself happy before you worry about me.  ’ ‘  my kindness isn’t weakness.  ’ ‘  my new years resolution is for all our arguments to be settled because i know you’ll still have my love  ’ ‘  oh,  what a privilege it is to matter to you.  ’ ‘  our love could make flowers bloom int he dead of winter.  ’ ‘  pet names are my weakness.  ’ ‘  start setting boundaries.  enough is enough.  ’ ‘  thank you for caring like nobody else ever has.  ’ ‘  thank you for caring when nobody else has.  ’ ‘  the world is going to do something amazing for you.  ’ ‘  there are times to power through it  &  there are times to say no.  ’ ‘  when i look at the stars i can’t help but think of you.  ’ ‘  when you look at me,  the butterflies flutter.  ’ ‘  you are my happiness  &  you don’t even know it.  ’ ‘  you are my starlight.  ’ ‘  you are the one i’d do anything for.  ’ ‘  you are what puts my mind to rest when i can’t sleep.  ’ ‘  you don’t need anyone to rescue you.  you can do it all on your own,  babe.  i know you can.  ’ ‘  you feel like home.  ’ ‘  you have a smile that lights up my world.  ’ ‘  you have no idea how proud of you i am.  you’ve done so much for everyone.  thank you.  ’ ‘  you stole my heart,  but i’ll let you keep it.  ’ ‘  you’re made of stars  &  you’re my favorite constellation.  ’ ‘  you’re my favorite notification.  ’ ‘  you’re my home  &  i’m homesick.  ’ ‘  you’re not just your mistakes  &  you deserve to be happy.  ’ ‘  you’re so much more than good enough.  don’t ever doubt that.  ’ ‘  you’re soft  &  sweet  &  too good for me.  ’ ‘  you’re something special babe.  you can make a difference.  ’ ‘  you’re the happy part of my days.  ’ ‘  you’re the one i’m looking for.  ’ ‘  you’re the one thing i think about when i wake up every morning.  ’ ‘  you’re the reason why i want to get up every morning.  ’ ‘  you’re waking,  talking,  living,  loving poetry.  ’

↪ “What should one do, when what they want to be isn’t what they’re best at? Everyone fights, searching for the correct way to live their lives. What do they seek by fighting? How ought they live? No one can say. All we have is the right to waver. Like stray dogs that have hit rock bottom.”

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

                                   THIS IS MY DESIGN.