That Butler, Portrayed

' i-infamy ?! '

the word seems to instantly jolt him . close to hives , his skin prickling , every thin hair on his arm swift to stand up straight on end . a word like infamy ... was really bad , wasn't it ?! ( like horrible , like heinuous , like --- dark . )

' n-no ! it's not like that or anything ! like hiwatari-kun and sagami-sensei , i mean --- er , u-um ... ' would someone like sebastian have been able to recognize any of these names ? arrive , vanish , do everything in a blink and leave nary so much as a single trace behind --- his family had instructed him over and over to be capable of severing any sort of loose strings in the midst of plotted , robbing act .

( why dare to admire his enemies , anyways ? )

was it too simple , too laughable , that just because he wanted to think they were friends ... no , that because he just wanted to somehow be friends them , that he should have therefore made every effort to be kind , and speak up in their defense ? even knowing that they might never have done the same for him , or for his far more rotten , wretched parts .

' t-they're not that bad , i mean ... i don't think infamous is a good word for them ... ' though , maybe and maybe not . before the hikari alone , what other artists played god , to the extent that their creations came to life out of nothing but the meager likes of stone , paint and wax ? man's first golems and homonculi , created in the perverse shape of themselves : both infinitely beautiful and hideous .

their broach of every natural law and order could have lent itself to their infamy , if only what vicious storms of emotion surrounding their works didn't coil about them like the still , untouchable calm of an eye of a storm . and there , braving the cuts and razor , racing edge of the roughest winds , was the black half of the kokuyoku ... what black wings even now remained bound to his body .

' ... i'm sorry . ' trailing away , clutching to himself at his hands , daisuke's will shrinks and relents , wilting meekly beneath the other's blase accusations . certainly , he feels every invisible pressure like a block of lead , hitching his shoulders high in a hopeless defense against what felt like , polite and composed as it was , an adult's chide .

' i don't ... actually know if i'm really friends with any of them . i only sort of know them , so i didn't think anything was that interesting to talk about --- um , hiwatari-kun is the same age as me , and he's the one who comes from a really family . the hikari ? their artworks always end up in museums and stuff , they've been making masterpieces for over four hundred years . i've only really learned a few things about ... um , shadows and circles from him , though ... '

embarrassing basics that anyone , even a toddler should have been able to comprehend .

' sagami-sensei was a sculptor , and someone who won top prizes every year in azumano ... our standards for art are the highest in japan , so it was a big deal when he was going to start teaching part-time . but then he quit right after his practice internship and decided to go back to art --- ' cheeks flush and he laughs ; he doesn't dare to pry at sebastian's turn , deeply curious as he remained to the other's work . ' he was really cool . he always seemed to know what he was doing when he was making art , hiwatari-kun too , i think . i'm not really anything special , especially compared to them ... '

humility blends in warmly with a loitering sense of shame .

The speed in which he has to turn his amusement into faux-apology cannot be understated; though the way in which the young man’s reactions serve only to further bring him closer to something like elation cannot be, either! Perhaps it’s merely his age, but from their severity to their depths, he finds that his baser urges to toy with those lesser than himself are growing. They are, of course, overwhelmingly easy to keep at bay—he has practiced, he has lived, too long to be any other way—but the fact that he has to acknowledge them at all on his own is exceedingly rare.

Not that he is one to ignore his own whims, either, however.

“So many apologies you need not make; truly, just what kind of butler am I?” Another melodramatic sigh, another shake of his head, follows in the wake of his own bastard-conceived plot and results. “Though I must apologize once more, myself, for inadvertently insulting your acquaintances.” For if they are neither friends nor anyone he considers worthy of such a word... “I meant no harm, of course, but I fear I spoke too impulsively. Such is a failing of my own, unfortunately—

“I must admit that I do take heart in knowing you bear confidence-enough to correct me, however.”

For that, too, was amusing in and of itself—despite the irresolute clamber in which young Daisuke speaks his words, the fact that he speaks them at all is enough to make him want to chuckle. Companionship was of no use to himself, but the lengths in which those who find it so go to have others speak no ill-will of them, even when it was unsure, served to interestingly confuse him always.

“It is quite clear that they are of great import to you,” he continues on easily, belying his thoughts, “in spite of how little you know of them personally. Does not speaking of them in such a way also speak in turn, however, not just to their skills but to what skills they have imparted to you, as well?”

Even if mere beginner-work from another teenager, knowledge would forever be knowledge; “To gain any sort of understanding over the simplest of details is enough to learn the complex natures of this world, after all. One might argue that this is needed to do so, as what one might think of as a basis—though I dare not do so in my position, of course.”

(His position for the moment, at least, but there was little need to fret over frivolous details such as those, right then. He merely needs them known, still.)

“Special qualities or lack thereof aside, as well—and so long as I am permitted to say so—at the very least I find myself thrilled to find your art of quite the noticeable talent, already.”

And there he goes to demonstrate—flipping through pages quickly, though keeping a thumb on the one he had scribbled on himself, with that self-satisfied smile! He doesn’t go far, and he isn’t even looking at it, but even this serves more to try for a reaction than anything else!

“It is clear that you don’t lack an eye for details,” he speaks as the pages turn, as casually as if he were discussing the weather, “and neither is there lack of intent behind your work! Really, this is more than enough to warrant an impart of your knowledge to myself, as the less-experienced artist, but I suppose...”

Just as quickly as he’d begun flipping through pages does he close them back up, keeping only the one he’d utilized himself open for the book’s owner to see. In the same breath, he holds it back out for the young man; silent encouragement that he is to, finally, take his own look at what Sebastian had done.

“Relieving as it is to hear that my work shan’t be considered by one who is, at heart, ‘really mean’, I do urge you to give your most honest opinion. Shall my skills be lacking, I will endeavour to improve as quickly as I am able.”

Neville Goddard, from The Power of Awareness

Basics.

When did you first start writing?

In what language did you start writing?

If your mother tongue is not the language you write now, what caused you to switch languages?

What was the first muse that you’ve written?

Do you still write your first muse?

What is the muse that you write for the longest?

In what style did you start to write (First person, third person, *-style or novel-style?)

What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

Do you regret starting writing?

Is there anything you would have changed when you started writing now that you have more experience?

Do you tell your friends / family that you write?

How do you describe writing / rp to others?

On what platform did you start to write?

Canon Muses.

What is your favorite canon muse?

Have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book?

Are you happy with how your favorite canon muse was portrayed in canon?

How far do go with divergencies when it comes to your canon muse?

OCs.

Who was your first OC?

Do you still write your first OC?

Who is your favorite OC?

How would you describe your favorite OC?

Do you have developed dynamics with the OC of another mun that has influenced your OC or Canon muse?

How do you create an OC? What are your steps for developing an OC?

FC or story first when you develop an OC?

Fandoms.

In what fandom did you start?

What is your favorite fandom in which you write?

Is there any fandom you regret exploring?

Have you ever developed an OC for a certain fandom?

Ships.

What are you looking for in a ship?

Do you tend to focus on shipping or do you not care at all?

Have you ever developed a ship based on writing with a certain other character / mun?

Have you ever started to ship a rare-pair?

What are rare-pairs that you’re passionate about?

Do you plot a ship or see where it goes?

What are your favorite ships on here (feel free to tag?)

Do you ship someone’s muses on your dash?

Tumblr.

What are the trends when it comes to writing that you adore?

What are trends when it comes to writing that you dislike?

What trend would you wish to see on here?

What was your first blog / URL?

Do you still have your first blog / URL?

What’s something you find weird on here?

What’s something you wish to improve?

What are your biggest (personal) Tumblr crushes?

What people make you happy when you see them on the dash?

What are things that you don’t wish to see on here?

What are things you wish people would tag so you can block it?

oh , [ name ] . it's just you .

where are you going to run , [ name ] ?

what are you saying ?

why do you think i brought you here ?

you said you believed in my work .

i would kill myself before helping in such a task .

you've been so kind to me , [ name ] .

you can't kill me , [ name ] .

so , you're the great [ name ] .

we all have our little problems .

let's make it your decision , shall we ?

i wish you a week in hell .

why don't you do something about it ?

this is all a test of faith .

i can curse all i want , dammit .

you . turn around .

strangers don't last long here .

the laws of men mean little to me .

i don't need your help .

you stay here . they're trying to kill me .

nice to see you too , [ name ] .

did i do something to you in a past life ?

i hope you do have a heart , [ name ] . because someday i'd like to drive a stake through it .

your reputation precedes you .

i am hollow ! and i will live ... forever .

please , say you will not try again .

do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .

i was unprepared . it won't happen again .

do you understand forgiveness ?

i would rather die than help you .

don't be boring , everyone who says that always dies .

may he rest in peace .

how long has it been , 300 , 400 years ?

you don't remember , do you ?

what exactly is it i am to be remembering ?

it's no surprise you would know all about me .

we have such history , you and i .

have you ever wondered why you have such horrific nightmares ?

[ name ] , it's alright , i'm taking you home .

what , did you think we haven't tried everything before ?

no one knows how to kill [ name ] .

i could have used that information earlier .

would you like me to refresh your memory a little ?

allow me to ... reintroduce myself .

i think we've overstayed our welcome .

don't give me that look .

you were right . i'm sorry .

monster ? who's the monster here ? i have done nothing wrong !

look , there's still time .

you were right . i'm sorry .

do you have any family , [ name ] ?

if you value your lives , and the lives of your kin , you will kill me .

evil may have created it , may have left its mark on it , but evil does not rule it .

now you know why they call me a murderer .

oh my god ... you've been bitten .

so much trouble ... so much trouble .

now you will become that which you hunted so passionately . may others be as passionate in their hunting of you .

don't worry , god will forgive us .

how many commandments can we break in one day ?

oh my god , you should be terrified .

how does it feel to be a puppet on my string ?

neither of us has ever settled for half .

you make my skin crawl .

i'm not gonna like this , am i ?

one brief moment of pain , and we can be together forever .

you have no heartbeat .

you are nothing but damned bones , and damned souls .

well , that doesn't sound like a good thing .

we don't have a choice . just don't get killed .

you don't understand , it doesn't matter what happens to me .

god is not the only one that can create life .

you can't go until i say you can go , and i say you can go when you're dead !

you're supposed to die .

we are both part of the same great game , [ name ] , we just find ourselves on opposite sides of the board .

you are being used , [ name ] , as was i . but i escaped , so can you .

if you're going to kill someone , kill them . don't stand there talking about it .

all i want is life . the continuation of my kind .

Especially if it’s something you’re too shy or afraid to ask off-anon. 

even if sebastian's work turned out infinitely complex , wouldn't he still be able to study it , then ? taking to it like a souvenir , one he would find far more intriguing and organic than what priceless piece his mother expected him to return with from this place .

' er , uh ! i didn't mean anything bad by it about ciel being so young , either --- i guess i just imagined you drawing for him often , maybe ... ' or was that simply the sort of thing he'd have had his own butler doing , if argentine was anything like half as well-put together as the aide before him ?

the more he thought it over , the more stupid everything seemed after-all . even his own hidden dexterity contributed little to nothing towards creative endeavors . what did it matter how swift or clever a butler and phantom thief could be ? without the proper sense for art , motions were merely motions : ' ... sorry , i shouldn't have assumed anything . '

his head dips and his shoulders slump a little ; in the end , he easily relents . ' if it's really no trouble for a sketchbook either , then , um ... t-thank you . thank you to you both ... ! '

and an enormous apology , one he doesn't dare to actually voice , though the anxiety of such a decision remains clear on his troubled expression --- easily mistaken for a polite discomfort in accepting whatsoever . the irony of his interests has never gone unrecognized , at least by his own self . a phantom thief's duty was to rob fine arts ; not laughably attempt to produce them . sebastian's words could have comforted , if only they didn't remain half ignorant .

a pity and a shame , but best kept that way --- such various lies and omissions were perpetual , outright necessity . nevertheless , daisuke keeps his curious gaze down at the butler's work in progress .

A chuckle is tacked onto the end; he can’t help the tease, can’t help from making his own amusement, at the young man’s expense. He thinks, for a moment, of how very dangerous that word is, when spoken to a creature like him—one cannot, should not, face his kind and say they wish for him to do ‘anything’. Even if it is just in the context of a quick drawing, such a thing bears consequence still (nothing is trivial, unless he so chooses to see it so).

Consequences, however, do not always have to be meted out on a grand scale; he is no stranger to doling out more than is fair, at times, but he is also not without his understanding of what could be too far. So Daisuke will suffer a small laugh, if only to satisfy Sebastian’s inability to ignore such the infraction (and for the better that he does—Saying such things, most especially without hesitation, can get even the most iron-willed beings into trouble, some day.)

“My, but do forgive me; I assumed not that you had meant so, either.” He corrects his own infraction easily, only sparing a glance (calculative speculation masked into apology) up from his work before he returns to it again. “Neither is it so unusual to assume that I have created art for my Master, however; what I meant is that his age is not the correlation to my doing so.”

Really, it is not as if he’s complaining; his meal does not need to be artistically inclined in order for him to consume it, after all. Beyond what is required of his education, his Master hardly partakes in the more creative avenues of life as it is (a soul living only for and until its want for revenge is fulfilled will hardly allot itself time for the finer aspects of existence).

“Nevertheless, there is no need for apology.” He continues on, the matter dismissed as easily as the clouds parting above them to reveal the sun. “Offense was neither intended nor done, if I may so humbly assume myself; there is no need for worry.”

But, oh, satisfaction curls deep and twisting within his mind as the young man finally gives in. Dark, smug elation is hard to keep from his own features; even if it took time, he got what he wanted out of the offer, and it is nothing short of pleasing.

Is it not so much easier to simply relent, to acquiesce to one’s own desires? Human’s overwhelmingly have such an inability to resist them for long, and even with a far more limited patience for waiting to see it done than he lets on, he will never tire of seeing attempts to try crumble with just a bit of prodding.

“That you would accept our gift at all is gratitude enough.” Especially for myself; I require nothing more. “Please, I implore you to think nothing of it.”

His duty as both creature and butler fulfilled, for the time being, he hardly notices when his own hands still over the paper. What he’s drawn is one of the roses growing in the garden, close-up and detailed—simplistic in its choice, perhaps even predictable given where they are, but he’s sure it matters not. Not just for it having gone said, but also because the young man had been enthralled by them upon initial sight. Though, to think it’s merely his duties that give him pause would be wrong, because what is this about him knowing famed artists, might young Daisuke elaborate on that—?

(Ah, but wait; it would not be so off-base...)

“...Young Master Daisuke,” he starts, , “it was not to my knowledge that you were of such infamy yourself!”

A light scold, mostly untrue; he’d done his reading of the Niwa family several days prior to the young man’s arrival, but what-with the warning of the Phantom Thief appearing, he hadn’t gotten far. Other than being of worth-enough to have his Master agree to their young son paying a visit, there’d been little other evidence to suggest they were of nobility beyond any norm—knowing artists of any sort was mere territorial expectation.

(And yet, he still can’t help but to want to press; if only to see what is found in doing so.)

“To be so acquainted with famous artists,” it doesn’t matter that they weren’t named or known to him, “that they give you advice, surely you would know something of criticism. Might this be a way for you to judge my talents instead of merely observing them, despite the knowledge that my own work will pale in comparison to such famed individuals? How very cruel of you; to make me think you were merely interested...”

Feigned self-doubt sees him sighing dramatically, tilting the sketch away from the human’s sight. Surely he could have been warned he would be in the presence of one like this, he would have prepared his heart—!