Untitled @fatherly-jokes - Tumblr Blog

Today my son asked "Can I have a bookmark?" I burst into tears. 11 years and he still doesn't know my name is Joe

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How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

#holy water #holy #water #dad #jokes #dad jokes #humor #funny

Did you hear about the kid napping at school?

It's fine, he woke up

#kid napping #kid #napping #school #humor #funny #dad #jokes #dad jokes

To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camoflauge jacket

You can hide but you can't run

#jokes #humor #dad #dad jokes #wheelchair #camoflauge #run but cant hide #hide but cant run

Two gold fish are in a tank

One asked the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

#gold fish #gold #fish #humor #dad jokes #jokes #dad #funny

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Wow, this graveyard is crowded

People must be dying to get in here

Wasn't the shovel such a groundbreaking invention?

I wouldn't buy anything with Velcro

It's a total ripoff

What did the grape do when stepped on?

He let out a little wine

Why did the scarecrow get an award?

He was outstanding in his field

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What do you call someone who lost their car?

Carlos

Why couldn't the bike stand by itself?

It was two tired

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together

What do you get when a chicken lays eggs on a hill?

Egg rolls

#funny #egg roll #humor #dad #jokes #dad jokes

I just watched a show about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.

#dad jokes #jokes #dad #humor #funny #dam #beaver

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My dad walked into my room and said, "son, you know masturbation makes you blind, right?"

I said, "Dad I'm over here"

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere

#funny #humor #humour #dad #dad jokes #jokes #moon #restaurant #atmosphere

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