FAP

pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you  hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead

i have a degree in criminal justice and i can tell you this works 100% of the time

being an adult is having the “we have food at home” conversation with urself every single day

i’m a horrible texter but i’m also really bad at talking to people in person so i really have nothing going for me

u ever catch yourself overthinking then you’re like bitch what the fuck who cares

I appreciate those people who are just genuinely nice. Like their mindset is instead of making others miserable, they give people tools to better themselves because why not. Thanks for putting that good energy out into the universe.

a story of two good friends who appreciate each other platonically, and are wandering home feeling emotionally fulfilled about their conversation over their mutual desires to find girlfriends that are compatible to their different individual needs, rather than just letting themselves fall into a relationship with anyone nearby that is available, regardless of compatibility

you know what? you’re right

im ok i just want to die a lot