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@fanged-nuisance
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Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
ah- i see. You were something of a rebel then?
"You... slept with the dogs? That can't have been comfortable"
āDogs are pack animals. They pile around you in a warm, fluffy embrace. Itās more comfortable than a house of quiet pain.ā
"thats- a weird metaphor."
yes, well- it's done now, yes? We should move forward.
āOf course. Which way is forward, however? Where does forward lead?ā
i dont- john?
"i don't know, Arthur. We're headed towards New York, right?"
yes- yes, we're going to new york.
āOkay! I think I havenāt been to New York! That sounds cool!ā
i havent either, but john seems deadset on it...
"....."
āWhatās in New York?ā
"the order of the fallen star."
yeah. That.
āIsnāt that..the weird stone cult? They wanna collect stones or some shit like that? Like the Blackstone, Greystone, and like one more? Azathothās stones. I..donāt know how I know thisā
they uh- they what?
"...something like that, I believe"
āYeah. Weird stone collection cult. But I think nowadays itās more a rich people club. Just symbolic now.ā
..huh
"i... i only know what Arthur knows."
I tilt my head, not believing him.
āSure, John. And why did you want to find them?ā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
ah- i see. You were something of a rebel then?
"You... slept with the dogs? That can't have been comfortable"
āDogs are pack animals. They pile around you in a warm, fluffy embrace. Itās more comfortable than a house of quiet pain.ā
"thats- a weird metaphor."
yes, well- it's done now, yes? We should move forward.
āOf course. Which way is forward, however? Where does forward lead?ā
i dont- john?
"i don't know, Arthur. We're headed towards New York, right?"
yes- yes, we're going to new york.
āOkay! I think I havenāt been to New York! That sounds cool!ā
i havent either, but john seems deadset on it...
"....."
āWhatās in New York?ā
"the order of the fallen star."
yeah. That.
āIsnāt that..the weird stone cult? They wanna collect stones or some shit like that? Like the Blackstone, Greystone, and like one more? Azathothās stones. I..donāt know how I know thisā
they uh- they what?
"...something like that, I believe"
āYeah. Weird stone collection cult. But I think nowadays itās more a rich people club. Just symbolic now.ā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
ah- i see. You were something of a rebel then?
"You... slept with the dogs? That can't have been comfortable"
āDogs are pack animals. They pile around you in a warm, fluffy embrace. Itās more comfortable than a house of quiet pain.ā
"thats- a weird metaphor."
yes, well- it's done now, yes? We should move forward.
āOf course. Which way is forward, however? Where does forward lead?ā
i dont- john?
"i don't know, Arthur. We're headed towards New York, right?"
yes- yes, we're going to new york.
āOkay! I think I havenāt been to New York! That sounds cool!ā
i havent either, but john seems deadset on it...
"....."
āWhatās in New York?ā
"the order of the fallen star."
yeah. That.
āIsnāt that..the weird stone cult? They wanna collect stones or some shit like that? Like the Blackstone, Greystone, and like one more? Azathothās stones. I..donāt know how I know thisā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
ah- i see. You were something of a rebel then?
"You... slept with the dogs? That can't have been comfortable"
āDogs are pack animals. They pile around you in a warm, fluffy embrace. Itās more comfortable than a house of quiet pain.ā
"thats- a weird metaphor."
yes, well- it's done now, yes? We should move forward.
āOf course. Which way is forward, however? Where does forward lead?ā
i dont- john?
"i don't know, Arthur. We're headed towards New York, right?"
yes- yes, we're going to new york.
āOkay! I think I havenāt been to New York! That sounds cool!ā
i havent either, but john seems deadset on it...
"....."
āWhatās in New York?ā
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Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
ah- i see. You were something of a rebel then?
"You... slept with the dogs? That can't have been comfortable"
āDogs are pack animals. They pile around you in a warm, fluffy embrace. Itās more comfortable than a house of quiet pain.ā
"thats- a weird metaphor."
yes, well- it's done now, yes? We should move forward.
āOf course. Which way is forward, however? Where does forward lead?ā
i dont- john?
"i don't know, Arthur. We're headed towards New York, right?"
yes- yes, we're going to new york.
āOkay! I think I havenāt been to New York! That sounds cool!ā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
ah- i see. You were something of a rebel then?
"You... slept with the dogs? That can't have been comfortable"
āDogs are pack animals. They pile around you in a warm, fluffy embrace. Itās more comfortable than a house of quiet pain.ā
"thats- a weird metaphor."
yes, well- it's done now, yes? We should move forward.
āOf course. Which way is forward, however? Where does forward lead?ā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
ah- i see. You were something of a rebel then?
"You... slept with the dogs? That can't have been comfortable"
āDogs are pack animals. They pile around you in a warm, fluffy embrace. Itās more comfortable than a house of quiet pain.ā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
oh! Did you hunt as well?
"..."
āI..used to. When I was little. Myā¦father let me. Even though it was not what I was supposed to be doing. My mother..I think, stopped that. But, Iād sneak out to see the dogs anyway. I slept out there sometimes, on bad nights; just me in a pile of dogs.ā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
"...huh"
Yes- now, is that all you remember?
āYes. I wish..I think I had dogs. They werenāt treated well, hunting dogs and all, but I loved those dogs. I would run like a wild thing with them.ā
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Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
I get that. I... i try to stay away from those people
"what does nice but not kind even mean..?"
āIt means, darlin daffodil, that they seem kind, but are hating behind your back. Phrases like ābleed your heartā which sound nice, but are a circular way of saying āwhat a fuckin idiotā. Itās a secret language of hate I am too well versed in to not have been raised in it.ā
Pops into existence in front of them, androgynous and youngish
āHello boys! How life cohabitating the same body going?ā
-š¦š¦āā¬(btw this isnāt kayne lol)
āDreadful.ā
āAgreed.ā
Johnās hand is slipped into their pants pocket. It doesnāt match the overall stiff posture Arthur holds.
āWho are you?ā
I tilt my head like a dog, completely ignoring the question.
āThat doesnāt sound fun. I like funā¦I think so at leastā
-š¦š¦āā¬
āIt isnāt, let me assure you.ā
āTheyāre straight ahead, Arthur. Move closer. Repeat your question.ā
He takes a few steps towards them, merely a foot in front of them. Johnās hand as moved to their side.
āAgain, who are you?ā
My head tilts further, almost to my shoulder in a very animalistic manner
āUhhhhā¦ solid question, boys. I really just remember that I needed to find yall. Not much else.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
āWonderful.ā
āWe donāt exactly remember much either, Arthur. We donāt have room to judge.ā
āWe? No, you donāt remember much. Mine is practically back to normal.ā
SORRY. Theyāre bickering again.
āBoysā. The inflection is sharp.
āI have something for yall. Iām not sure why I have it or what the significance of it is, but it says itās for yallā
I hand over a small, wooden music box. Thereās a note on it that says āTo Arthur and Johnā with a reddish brown smudge in the corner.
They both go silent as they grab the box. Their hands move in tandem, almost like Arthur has control over both again. They cradle it.
āIs thisā?ā
āItās a small box, Arthur. Itās made out of wood. And thereās a note with our names on it, a smudge stains the corner.ā
My head tilts more.
āI donāt know what it is, but itās for youā
āThis isā No, I know what this is. Where did you get this?ā
Arthur sounds irritated now, snapping out the question with no pretense. He holds the box close, taking it out of Johnās hand.
āArthur, what is it?ā
āNone of your concern.ā
I move closer, leaning to look at the box
āIām with John on this one, darlin. What is it? And why did I have to give it to you?ā
āNothing. Whoā I donāt care if you donāt remember. Rack that brain of yours, give me something about yourself. Anything about who this is from, where you got it, anything.ā
Heās covering the box protectively, his hand almost big enough to shelter the whole thing.
āTheyāre getting closer, leaning forward to stare at the box. Why are you hiding it?ā
I frown, almost exaggeratedly childish.
āā¦..I donāt really know. A man, I think. I was running from something and then him. And the next thing I remember was looking for yāallā
āIs thatā Are you positive? Nothing else? Not even your name? I find it hard to believe that you canāt remember that.ā
āTheyāre frowning now. Arthur, what is this? Why is knowing about it so important to you?ā
āI donāt think itās actually my name, but I started to call myself Rhea. I saw the spelling of pheasant and thought it was cool, so I made a name out of it! I was..wearing a dress, when I was running. It was beautiful. I hated itā
āRight, then, Rhea, do you haveā Do you have anything else on you? Any other notes? A continuation to this one, maybe?ā
Arthur seems frantic, if the way he talks faster is anything to go by. Johnās hand has joined his in clutching the box to their chest. Simply holding it there.
I pat myself down.
āNo sir. I think..I was just sent to give that. Oh! I have something!ā
I pull out a wedding ring, clearly meant for the wife. Itās small, ornate, and clearly a perfect fit for my finger.
āā¦I donātā¦I didnātā¦Iām too young to be married, right? I donāt think iām an adult. Wh-why do I have this?ā
Arthur finally relaxes a bit, visibly easing when the ring is mentioned. He even looks a bit concerned.
āSorry, you arenātā John, why didnāt you say she was a child?ā
āI donāt have much of a reference for what a kid looks like outside of that baby, Arthur, Iām sorry for not knowing everything.ā
āRight. Of course, useful as ever, thank you. Iām sorry for getting cross with you, Rhea.ā
I tilt my head, clearly not fully present.
āItās okay. Was this why i was running? The forest..I ran to the forest. I called for something to save me. Whatā¦what did I do?ā
Pops into existence in front of them, androgynous and youngish
āHello boys! How life cohabitating the same body going?ā
-š¦š¦āā¬(btw this isnāt kayne lol)
āDreadful.ā
āAgreed.ā
Johnās hand is slipped into their pants pocket. It doesnāt match the overall stiff posture Arthur holds.
āWho are you?ā
I tilt my head like a dog, completely ignoring the question.
āThat doesnāt sound fun. I like funā¦I think so at leastā
-š¦š¦āā¬
āIt isnāt, let me assure you.ā
āTheyāre straight ahead, Arthur. Move closer. Repeat your question.ā
He takes a few steps towards them, merely a foot in front of them. Johnās hand as moved to their side.
āAgain, who are you?ā
My head tilts further, almost to my shoulder in a very animalistic manner
āUhhhhā¦ solid question, boys. I really just remember that I needed to find yall. Not much else.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
āWonderful.ā
āWe donāt exactly remember much either, Arthur. We donāt have room to judge.ā
āWe? No, you donāt remember much. Mine is practically back to normal.ā
SORRY. Theyāre bickering again.
āBoysā. The inflection is sharp.
āI have something for yall. Iām not sure why I have it or what the significance of it is, but it says itās for yallā
I hand over a small, wooden music box. Thereās a note on it that says āTo Arthur and Johnā with a reddish brown smudge in the corner.
They both go silent as they grab the box. Their hands move in tandem, almost like Arthur has control over both again. They cradle it.
āIs thisā?ā
āItās a small box, Arthur. Itās made out of wood. And thereās a note with our names on it, a smudge stains the corner.ā
My head tilts more.
āI donāt know what it is, but itās for youā
āThis isā No, I know what this is. Where did you get this?ā
Arthur sounds irritated now, snapping out the question with no pretense. He holds the box close, taking it out of Johnās hand.
āArthur, what is it?ā
āNone of your concern.ā
I move closer, leaning to look at the box
āIām with John on this one, darlin. What is it? And why did I have to give it to you?ā
āNothing. Whoā I donāt care if you donāt remember. Rack that brain of yours, give me something about yourself. Anything about who this is from, where you got it, anything.ā
Heās covering the box protectively, his hand almost big enough to shelter the whole thing.
āTheyāre getting closer, leaning forward to stare at the box. Why are you hiding it?ā
I frown, almost exaggeratedly childish.
āā¦..I donāt really know. A man, I think. I was running from something and then him. And the next thing I remember was looking for yāallā
āIs thatā Are you positive? Nothing else? Not even your name? I find it hard to believe that you canāt remember that.ā
āTheyāre frowning now. Arthur, what is this? Why is knowing about it so important to you?ā
āI donāt think itās actually my name, but I started to call myself Rhea. I saw the spelling of pheasant and thought it was cool, so I made a name out of it! I was..wearing a dress, when I was running. It was beautiful. I hated itā
āRight, then, Rhea, do you haveā Do you have anything else on you? Any other notes? A continuation to this one, maybe?ā
Arthur seems frantic, if the way he talks faster is anything to go by. Johnās hand has joined his in clutching the box to their chest. Simply holding it there.
I pat myself down.
āNo sir. I think..I was just sent to give that. Oh! I have something!ā
I pull out a wedding ring, clearly meant for the wife. Itās small, ornate, and clearly a perfect fit for my finger.
āā¦I donātā¦I didnātā¦Iām too young to be married, right? I donāt think iām an adult. Wh-why do I have this?ā
Pops into existence in front of them, androgynous and youngish
āHello boys! How life cohabitating the same body going?ā
-š¦š¦āā¬(btw this isnāt kayne lol)
āDreadful.ā
āAgreed.ā
Johnās hand is slipped into their pants pocket. It doesnāt match the overall stiff posture Arthur holds.
āWho are you?ā
I tilt my head like a dog, completely ignoring the question.
āThat doesnāt sound fun. I like funā¦I think so at leastā
-š¦š¦āā¬
āIt isnāt, let me assure you.ā
āTheyāre straight ahead, Arthur. Move closer. Repeat your question.ā
He takes a few steps towards them, merely a foot in front of them. Johnās hand as moved to their side.
āAgain, who are you?ā
My head tilts further, almost to my shoulder in a very animalistic manner
āUhhhhā¦ solid question, boys. I really just remember that I needed to find yall. Not much else.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
āWonderful.ā
āWe donāt exactly remember much either, Arthur. We donāt have room to judge.ā
āWe? No, you donāt remember much. Mine is practically back to normal.ā
SORRY. Theyāre bickering again.
āBoysā. The inflection is sharp.
āI have something for yall. Iām not sure why I have it or what the significance of it is, but it says itās for yallā
I hand over a small, wooden music box. Thereās a note on it that says āTo Arthur and Johnā with a reddish brown smudge in the corner.
They both go silent as they grab the box. Their hands move in tandem, almost like Arthur has control over both again. They cradle it.
āIs thisā?ā
āItās a small box, Arthur. Itās made out of wood. And thereās a note with our names on it, a smudge stains the corner.ā
My head tilts more.
āI donāt know what it is, but itās for youā
āThis isā No, I know what this is. Where did you get this?ā
Arthur sounds irritated now, snapping out the question with no pretense. He holds the box close, taking it out of Johnās hand.
āArthur, what is it?ā
āNone of your concern.ā
I move closer, leaning to look at the box
āIām with John on this one, darlin. What is it? And why did I have to give it to you?ā
āNothing. Whoā I donāt care if you donāt remember. Rack that brain of yours, give me something about yourself. Anything about who this is from, where you got it, anything.ā
Heās covering the box protectively, his hand almost big enough to shelter the whole thing.
āTheyāre getting closer, leaning forward to stare at the box. Why are you hiding it?ā
I frown, almost exaggeratedly childish.
āā¦..I donāt really know. A man, I think. I was running from something and then him. And the next thing I remember was looking for yāallā
āIs thatā Are you positive? Nothing else? Not even your name? I find it hard to believe that you canāt remember that.ā
āTheyāre frowning now. Arthur, what is this? Why is knowing about it so important to you?ā
āI donāt think itās actually my name, but I started to call myself Rhea. I saw the spelling of pheasant and thought it was cool, so I made a name out of it! I was..wearing a dress, when I was running. It was beautiful. I hated itā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
hm. That is useful... but I've never been to that part of the country.
"..."
āI donāt think you would be taken to kindly. It feels like a place where people are nice but not kind.ā
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Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
ok. Well it still narrows it down, i suppose.
"It certainly doesn't sound familiar"
āIt wasnāt deep south, northern south. Maybe Virginia, Maryland. Somewhere small, but it couldnāt be far from a big city. Farm based. I remember..daffodils. Daffodils and honeysuckle and gardenia. The scents of my childhoodā
Pops into existence in front of them, youngish with a lions mane of reddish brown hair.
āArthur Lester? And ā¦John, right? Howās..life been I guessā
-š¦š¦āā¬(@fanged-nuisance)
"Life fucking sucks."
its... its not been great.
Frowns childishly, head tilted.
āThatās not fun. Anyway, I have a package for yāallā
I hand them a small stuffed yellow duck. Thereās a note attached that says āFor Arthur and Johnā. Itās written in a reddish brown ink
-š¦š¦āā¬
"Arthur, they've handed us a small stuffed yellow duck, with a note reading "For Arthur and John" on it."
Oh! Thats... incredibly sweet of you! I love it, thank you.
Bows exaggeratedly.
āJust one question, boys. Why did I have to give this to yall? I donāt rememberā¦why I had to give this to you.ā
-š¦š¦āā¬
i dont- i don't know?
"..."
Frowns, sadly worried.
āI donāt..think thatās a good thing. I justā¦remember a man. Something was exchanged, taken from me, and I had this to give you after.ā
what did the man look like?
"what did he take from them?"
āIā¦donāt remember much. Just thinking he was almost a caricature of a man? He was too much in a way that hurt. And I donāt remember what he took, but that it hurt to have and it hurt to have taken.ā
I look genuinely distressed. Something wrong has happened here, and while the mind might not remember, the body keeps score.
"Kayne?"
i think it might be. Im so sorry that happened to you- you didn't deserve that.
I am curled in on myself, oh so small for an almost adult.
āIs that who that was? Whatās..his thing? Why donāt I know what was taken?ā
I don't know if he can take memories but- he definitely hurts people.
"he wears a suit and is covered in blood. Hes also an asshole."
I snort softly, the tension dissipating from my shoulders
āThank you for that wonderful description, John. I..just donāt know what to do from here. I donāt really have anyone, that i know of at least.ā
i mean- you could have us? Its not like we're doing anything right now...
"We are just sitting here right now..."
I smile, and it is bright and warm.
āOh, thank you boys. I probably need to figure out who I am and what has happened to me. Thatāll probably be easier with help!ā
of course.
"it is always nice have help."
I tilt my head and pace.
āWhat would Kayne want me for? I donāt rememberā¦he took my past. For what? A delivery person?ā
"kayne hasnt needed delivery people in the past."
maybe he wanted to send a message? A threat?
I frown, head tilting back and forth
āAm I the message? āI could take your past if you fuck with me?ā Is the duck the message? He makes no sense!ā
"he doesn't tend to."
i suppose it could be that he could take our past? But then why the duck? Just because he could?
Paces, tugging at a stray curl.
āAre ducks important? Is the color important? Is anything important or is this fucker playing with me?ā
I am breaking, something gone roiling beneath the surface.
"i mean- maybe?"
we don't know. We have no idea!
Something snaps, and comes back.
āWhat if there was no reason? What if Iām just whoever was there. I was running, and called out for help. For change. I was always told not to pray outside after darkā
"i-?"
we have no way of knowing. Instead of dwelling on the past We just need to figure out what to do now.
Iāve curled into myself, oh so small for someone tall.
āHow can I move forward if thereās nothing to move from? Why was I running? It wasā¦dark. I ran to a forest. My foot knew where to fall, so I mustāve been from the area. I was..in a dress? Something pretty. I hated itā
"its hard to move on when you can't remember things clearly. But you have to try. The memories will come back in time, and you simply have to trust them."
i am.. sorry, that you were running from something. It sounds unpleasant.
āIā¦donāt think it really was that unpleasant. I just hated the idea of it. I hate beingā¦kept and tied down.ā
"i think... I think i can understand that."
Yes i- i cant imagine it was a pleasant experience.
The pacing returns, more frantic.
āThis doesnāt help. Where was I? Thereās so many woods it couldāve been. What was I running from, besides the idea of a gilded cage? Who am I? I donāt think Iām old enough to be left completely alone, so I mustāve had a family.ā
we don't know, and i dont think theres anyway we can know unless you get your memories back- so just take a deep breath, ok?
"you're safe here."
āSorry. Iām overreacting. I justā¦why did I hate the dress and the idea it represented? It was pretty and I objectively liked it, but it just represented something awfulā
...were you getting married?
"...?"
Pauses, genuinely thinking.
āIsnāt that an adult thing? I donāt think Iām an adult yet, a little too young, I think?ā
i mean-? People get married young, so i think its a possibility..?
"arent some girls forced into marriages against their will?"
āWasā¦that why I was running? I just wanted away. The woods were home. Where i was running from was where I lived, but the wilds were home. I wanted..I think, I grew up on tales of old forest gods. Which is weird, because I think my town was baptist. I wanted to throw my lot in with a forest god. I guess..that means I didnāt want it.ā
it sounds likely. I... i must say, im sorry you had to go through that. I cant say anything about the forest gods, though john...?
"i cant say unless i have more information"
āI guess I asked for this deal. With Kayne. I called out to something old, and I guess something old did answer. This is my fault. Itās my fault I canāt remember anything. I know the forest was old, something in the air screamed it. It felt like running into a grandmotherās arms when I entered the tree line.ā
hey- hey its alright! I know it's hard, and its easy to blame yourself, but you have to know its not your fault, okay?
"believe me. You didn't mean for this to happen, did you?"
I nervously pick at my skin, hands scrabbling for something to hold.
āI donāt think so. I thinkā¦I wanted to be free. Free of who I was supposed to be. Whatā¦I suppose people wanted me to be, even if Iām not sure who those people were. I didnāt want the marriage. Who arranged it?ā
probably your parents? That's usually how it works..
"..."
I tilt my head.
āIs it normal for parents to do that? Why did I have such a reaction?ā
im not sure how normal it is where youre from, but here it's fairly uncommon.
"you probably weren't fond of whoever you were supposed to marry"
āI think he was..older. Someone powerful in the community, maybe clergy. I remember sneering hypocrite at someone as I ran.ā
hm. Yes, likely a religious figure then. "they use their false gods to justify their own crimes while ignoring the corruption within their own community."
Tilts my head, laughing softly
āSomeone sounds a little preachy, goldie. I just..I canāt do anything without knowing where it was.ā
"I don't like the church."
...right. Well, do you have any hints to where it was? The weather maybe?
āIt was coastal. Southern, probably, because of my accent. So, southern with coastal woodlands. Thatāsā¦not a big help. It was evening, but I think the sky was clearā
