So... Finally finished The Protest Psychosis. Definitely a good read. I love reading nonfiction, it gave me some ideas that I wanna put in my music lesson, as well as new ways to frame certain things. Very impressed at how... Empathetic it manages to be, while also being clear cut about what happened.
I was realizing the scope of the damage, that his theory/history providing really showed. Of how America learned to- and then happily jumped upon- the ability to call Black people, Black men in particular- "crazy". To invalidate our emotions and our responses to the world around us by calling us "schizophrenic".
Because when I think about it. Everything I've posted that wasn't a happy smiley comment would have fallen under the category of "schizophrenic" for these doctors. But not because I actually display the symptoms! Think about it. If you were taught, in the 1960s, that the symptoms of schizophrenia were "aggression, delusions of persecution, paranoia, rejecting polite society for an African or Arab name"...
And then you saw a Black person who was (rightfully!) angry, claiming that White Society is purposefully ruining their life in endless systemic ways that you personally have not experienced and therefore do not think are real, because White is Right... On top of already being socialized to believe that Black people were liars and felt less pain...
Then yeah, you probably WOULD think I had a disorder! Even now, people will see Black people discuss their issues and act as if it's not necessary, as if it's a disturbance or that it's not real. It really shows what Metzl was discussing, how even this has become normalized to do outside of a clinical space.
It's like, you wrote the definition to include what you thought was wrong with me, so that you could label me with this when just maybe, there's something else wrong. And it's not like Black people with schizophrenia aren't real or don't suffer real symptoms. It's just that... Like with ODD. Do I actually have a disorder that needs treatment, or is this just a response to how you think I'm deviating from YOUR norm?
And it's also interesting because to be honest, running this page and dealing with the occasional racist dork has taken a mental toll on me. I recently started wondering if I had issues with reality, like maybe things weren't as bad as I thought they were, because surely this cannot be this hard to understand. Surely sensible people would understand, so maybe I'm losing my grip? Maybe I have emotional disregulation, that these things upset me in a way they don't seem to upset others?
But... we've been getting accused of essentially "being overdramatic" since the 1600s, and well- there was ALWAYS something wrong! It's validating to know that there have always been Black people, Black activists even, who have suggested that living under this WILL drive you crazy 😭 that there IS a strain that comes with this racist society that pulls down on our mental health, and is it NOT just in our heads.
Anyway, definitely worth the read! Important if you want to understand what I meant in my health lesson on a deeper, more specific level.
