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what is it about losing a friend to suicide that makes you want to reach out to everyone you’ve had a conversation about wanting to die with

talking wedding plans w bf and looking at engagement rings yesterday all day.

about to cave and get one of those apps to make friends

It’s 1039pm in San Diego’s north county, we got a tsunami warning, I’m on mushrooms sitting by the fire the love of my life built for me bcus I asked for it and listening to Cass McCombs about to cry

my cousin, who just got married a few weeks ago, found out her husband and his team were detained by i*e this morning at a job site. they have 3 babies, he was at work, he has no criminal record. she only found out by seeing it on a post on instagram.

Ive thought about what my life would be like if I had been a (relatively) thin white woman every day of my life and it brings me to tears bcus I remember the exact day I looked down at my belly and saw stretch marks on my 7 year old body. I knew even back then I’d never be normal given the western beauty standards, consistently flashed in my face on tv and magazines I couldnt afford. worrying at 13 about what my body looked like at the time hoping my future partners would accept me even though I fucked up my body beyond repair and believing that was the only way anyone would ever consider loving me.