ok actually no Iâm reblogging this because a) I am clean now (and I smell amazing, thank you), and b) I had a heckin Realize and I wanted to share it with yâall in the hopes itâll help someone else with a brain like mine.
I figured something out about myself a long time agoâ itâs only just now occurred to me that I was in fact solving a problem caused by executive dysfunction, and I havenât been implementing this solution lately because my brain went âthatâs a relatively new term to me and therefore a Different problem that requires a Different solutionâ. thanks a lot, brain.
anyway, long long ago, before I knew these fancy schmancy Official words, the problem, as I phrased it to myself, was such:Â
sometimes I get Stuck. I was doing something, or on my way to doing something, and then⌠I just. got stuck.
âStuckâ looks like refreshing my feed or dashboard repeatedly. or it looks like staring at a spot on the wall. or chewing my fingernails. or picking at a stubborn sticker. all the while, my brain drifts through various unrelated topics I wouldnât be able to recall if asked. sometimes I can get Stuck for hours before realizing I am Stuck. sometimes I get so Stuck that I go to bed that way (feeling especially bad for being unproductive) and I have to just reset everything by sleeping.
one day I asked myself, âwhy is this happening? why am I stuck, right now, at this moment in time?â the answer, as it turns out, was pretty simple: I was trying to make a decision, and I got distracted. I havenât moved forward because I havenât answered that one question or made up my mind.
let me rephrase this in terms of executive dysfunction: many people have expressed that it feels like knowing you need to do a thing but not feeling âreadyâ to do it. many with ADHD may also be familiar with the feeling of needing things to be âjust soâ before you embark on a task- you need your setup to look a certain way, or you need to set a timer, or have the right music playing, etc.
when I get Stuck itâs often because I got lost somewhere in that setting-up process, and my brain took the opportunity to nyoom off into Distraction Town.
getting myself Unstuck is solved, 95% of the time, by tracing my steps back to the original decision I was trying to make- often something small and inane- and then troubleshooting from there. (out loud! verbal processing is totally punk.)Â
âwhat was I trying to do?âÂ
âwas I trying to decide between two things?âÂ
(the answerâs usually yes.)Â
âokay, letâs decide.Â
âokay, thatâs settled. letâs move on.â
and then I am free as a bird to nyoom in the direction of The Thing I Wanted To Do All Along, in the amazingly disorganized, scattered, yet rapid-fire way that I do many things.
so!!! in the case of my first post, where I hadnât showered for 2 hours? turns out I had been trying to decide what music to listen to in the shower. (another hack: my chances of getting Stuck while showering decrease by 75% if I have music playing to help me keep track of time.) I couldnât immediately make up my mind, got lost in thought, got distracted, and drifted. once I stopped and asked- âwhy am I stuck?â- then I remembered- âoh yeah! I wanted to listen to musicâ- and then decided- âI want to listen to Daft Punkâs Discovery albumâ- I was finally heckin able to shower. and also eat, and also throw my clothes in the dryer.
and may I add I only zoned out once, during the slow part of âOne More Time.â :P
Iâm not saying this is a foolproof method. sometimes I donât have a reason for being stuck, and thatâs okay! Iâm also not saying this is how every adhd brain works. itâs just how my brain works, and Iâm sure thereâs at least a few who can relate. for those few, I hope this helps!!
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