i'll never be her.

his smirk only grows . " timing . how you're acting . and the distinct memory of how our last night finished . i'm right , aren't i ? "

lavender swallows, looking away from ever so her face won't give anything away. not that it matters. he already knows. he's already figured it out. "stop," she whispers, not wanting their conversation to be overheard. she finally looks back at him, gesturing to the balcony behind them. "come with me. quietly."

‘  something about it felt like home somehow.  ’ ‘  i might be okay, but i’m not fine at all.  ’ ‘  i remember it all too well.  ’ ‘  i forget about you long enough to forget why i needed to.  ’ ‘  maybe i asked for too much.  ’ ‘  this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up.  ’ ‘  you call me up again just to break me like a promise.  ’ ‘  so casually cruel in the name of being honest.  ’ ‘  time won’t fly, it’s like i’m paralyzed by it.  ’ ‘  i’d like to be my old self again, but i’m still trying to find it.  ’ ‘  i’m so glad you made time to see me.  ’ ‘  how’s life?  ’ ‘  your guard is up and i know why.  ’ ‘  you gave me roses and i left them there to die.  ’ ‘  this is me swallowing my pride.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry for that night.  ’ ‘  turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you.  ’ ‘  these days i haven’t been sleeping.  ’ ‘  you gave me all your love and all i gave you was ‘goodbye.’  ’ ‘  maybe this is wishful thinking.  ’ ‘  if we loved again, i swear i’d love you right.  ’ ‘  i’d go back in time and change it, but i can’t.  ’ ‘  wishing i’d realized what i had when you were mine.  ’ ‘  in a box beneath my bed is a letter that you never read from three summers back.  ’ ‘  it’s hard not to find it all a little bittersweet.  ’ ‘  all this time i was wasting, hoping you would come around.  ’ ‘  i’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down.  ’ ‘  you’re thinking we’ll be fine, but not this time around.  ’ ‘  you don’t have to call anymore. i won’t pick up the phone.  ’ ‘  you can tell me you’re sorry, but i don’t believe you like i did before.  ’ ‘  you got your share of secrets and i’m tired of being last to know.  ’ ‘  i should have known.  ’ ‘  i was a dreamer before you went and let me down.  ’ ‘  now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.  ’ ‘  maybe i was naïve, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance.  ’ ‘  my mistake, i didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand.  ’ ‘  i had so many dreams about you and me.  ’ ‘  and there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me, just like i always wanted.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well.  ’ ‘  my mother accused me of losing my mind, but i swore i was fine.  ’ ‘  you paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain.  ’ ‘  i see it all now that you’re gone.  ’ ‘  don’t you think i was too young to be messed with?  ’ ‘  maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame.  ’ ‘  maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love then take it away.  ’ ‘  you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand.  ’ ‘  run as fast as you can.  ’ ‘  you’re an expert at ‘sorry’ and keeping lines blurry.  ’ ‘  all the girls that you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes cause you’ve burned them out.  ’ ‘  people like you always want back the love they gave away.  ’ ‘  the more i think about it now, the less i know.  ’ ‘  all you had to do is stay.  ’ ‘  now that it’s just too late.  ’ ‘  i’ve been picking up the pieces of the mess you made.  ’ ‘  people like you always want back the love they pushed aside.  ’ ‘  people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye.  ’ ‘  why’d you have to go and lock me out when i let you in?  ’ ‘  let me remind you, this is what you wanted.  ’ ‘  you ended it.  ’ ‘  you were all i wanted, but not like this.  ’ ‘  loving you was blue like i’d never known.  ’ ‘  missing you was dark grey all alone.  ’ ‘  forgetting you was like trying to know somebody you never met.  ’ ‘  but loving you was red.  ’ ‘  touching you was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you.  ’ ‘  fighting with you was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer.  ’ ‘  regretting you was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong.  ’ ‘  moving on from you is impossible when i still see it all in my head.  ’ ‘  this is it, i’ve had enough.  ’ ‘  we called it off again last night.  ’ ‘  we are never, ever, ever getting back together.  ’ ‘  i’m really gonna miss you picking fight and falling for it screaming that i’m right.  ’ ‘  it’s been awhile since i have even heard from you.  ’ ‘  i should just tell you to leave ‘cause i know exactly where it leads.  ’ ‘  you got that james dean daydream look in your eyes.  ’ ‘  i got that red lip classic thing that you like.  ’ ‘  when we go crashing down, we come back every time.  ’ ‘  we never go out of style.  ’ ‘  i heard that you’ve been out and about with some other girl.  ’ ‘  what you heard is true.  ’ ‘  i can’t stop thinking about you.  ’ ‘  just take me home.  ’ ‘  when you take, you take the very best of me.  ’ ‘  i’m not what you wanted.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been anywhere cold as you.  ’ ‘  you put up walls and paint them all shades of gray and i stood there loving you and wished them all away.  ’ ‘  you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer and the nerve to adore you.  ’ ‘  you never did give a damn thing, honey, but i cried for you.  ’ ‘  i know you wouldn’t have told nobody if i died for you.  ’ ‘  you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me. were you just kidding?  ’ ‘  this thing is breaking down.  ’ ‘  we almost never speak.  ’ ‘  i don’t feel welcome anymore.  ’ ‘  one second it was perfect, now you’re halfway out the door.  ’ ‘  it rains when you’re here and it rains when you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i was there when you said forever and always.  ’ ‘  was i out of line?  ’ ‘  did i say something way too honest?  ’ ‘  thought i knew you for a minute, but now i’m not so sure.  ’ ‘  put my name at the top of your list.  ’ ‘  you break my heart in the blink of an eye.  ’ ‘  you wear your best apology, but i was there to watch you leave.  ’ ‘  all the times i let you in just for you to go again disappear when you come back.  ’ ‘  this is the last time you tell me i’ve got it wrong.  ’ ‘  this is the last time i say it’s been you all along.  ’ ‘  this is the last time i let you in my door.  ’ ‘  this is the last time, i won’t hurt you anymore.  ’ ‘  you told me you loved me, so why did you go away?  ’ ‘  all that i know is i don’t know how to be something you miss.  ’ ‘  i never thought we’d have a last kiss.  ’ ‘  never imagined we’d end like this.  ’ ‘  there’s not a day i don’t miss those rude interruptions.  ’ ‘  i hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day and something reminds you you wish you had stayed.  ’ ‘  i hope something reminds you you wish you had stayed.  ’ ‘  i’ll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep.  ’ ‘  i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe.  ’ ‘  i keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are.  ’ ‘  i never planned on you changing your mind.  ’ ‘  none of us thought it was gonna end that way.  ’ ‘  it’s killing me to see you go after all this time.  ’ ‘  i don’t know what to be without you around.  ’ ‘  i can’t breathe without you, but i have to.  ’ ‘  i never wanna see you hurt.  ’ ‘  nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.  ’ ‘  come on, don’t leave me like this.  ’ ‘  you’re all i wanted.  ’ ‘  i thought i had you figured out.  ’ ‘  i still mean every word i said to you.  ’ ‘  the whole time i’m wishing he was you instead.  ’ ‘  i just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you.  ’ ‘  i wish i could run to you and i hope you know that every time i don’t, i almost do.  ’ ‘  i bet you think i either moved on or hate you.  ’ ‘  i bet it never occurred to you that i can’t say hello to you and risk another goodbye.  ’ ‘  we made quite a mess, babe.  ’ ‘  it’s probably better off this way.  ’ ‘  i hope sometimes you wonder about me.  ’ ‘  nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.  ’ ‘  say you’ll remember me.  ’ ‘  say you’ll see me again.  ’

adrianna scoffed at john's words. sure, her brother hired him as her keeper, but that doesn't mean she had to actually listen to him. "i heard you, but i really could give less of a fuck, so i'm going to start whatever the hell i want to."

adrianna wasn't the first combative client john had ever had but she certainly was one of the most annoying. he was sure that she just wanted to piss him off and push his buttons, something that took a lot more than what adrianna was doing. "yeah, i'm sure you are. can you at least come and stand next to me so i can actually do my job?"