FLUFFERNUTTER

Pillow One: Under my head. This pillowcase does not need washed because after enough years my hair grease has made it waterproof. When I cry, my tears roll right off of it. Highly convenient. None of your fucking business what I am crying about every night!

Pillow Two: Between my back and the wall so that I do not hurt my spine. This pillowcase is fine to wash as rarely any fluids get on this pillow so it does not need waterproofing.

Pillow Three: In my arms. This pillow helps me imagine I am holding somebody at night and that I am loved. Not that that is any of yout fucking business! Back off.

Pillow Four: Next to my head. This is where my Kermit plushie sleeps. I used to have him facing me but his open eyed stare (he does not have eyelids) began to frighten me so I turned him away. Heh. Best desicion of my life. Now I have full view of his sweet, beautiful muppet hole. Mm.