FIRE BREATHING BITCH QUEEN

sam  decided  that  he  much  preferred  being  unconscious  on  the  long  trip  to  antica  than  the  multi-week  trek  back  across  to  the  continent.        then  again  ,  not  being  two  seconds  from  death  was  preferable  too.          he  hasn't  missed  adarland  –  the  weather  most  especially.        with  his  right  arm  &*  leg  cleaved  ,  he  can't  seem  to  keep  the  chill  out.         two  years  in  antica  set  him  up  for  a  rather  miserable  time  trembling  beneath  his  cloaks.       the  bloody  wind  whipping  off  the  lake  has  him  near  frozen  solid.      there's  only  so  much  he  can  do  with  his  limited  mobility  to  stay  active.         everything  aches.      the  mud  keeps dragging  his  boots  down.        he'd  be  useless  in  a  fight  when  he  can  hardly  pick  his  boots  out  of  the  sludge.    he  can't  carry  any  of  the  supplies  or  even  light  a  match  for  the  fires.        he  — 

has  a  lot  to  bitch  about  up  until  the  moment  she  stepped  into  the  tent.     then  he  sees  her  &*  all  of  it  slips  from  his  mind.      celaena  sardothian.        no  –  aelin ashryver galathynius.       rightful  queen  of  gods  damned  terrasen.        host  to  this  war  effort.         love  of  his  life.       

the  entire  room  seems  to  go  taut  like  a  cord  pulled  tight  between  just  them.      he  doesn't  care  that  chaol  has  said  something  –  doesn't  care  that  the  pretty  blonde  male  at  aelin's  back  looks  ready  to  tear  through  the  gods  themselves  at  her  rigid  spine.        he  just  cares  that  his  damn  false  leg  holds  his  weight  as  he  half  stumbles  toward  her.        he  can't  find  his  voice  –  finds  his  lips  just  mouthe  her  name.      not  aelin  –  no  ,  she  was  never  aelin  to  him.      only  she  would  recognize  him  immediately  in  his  sorry  state.      scarred  &*  burned  &*  cut  to  pieces.        but  assassins  always  had  to  be  very  good  at  identifying  their  dead  ,  didn't  they  ? 

it wasn't real.      she was back in the iron coffin.      all of it , it had just been a vision implanted within her mind until carin returned to paint his next canvas.      aelin can feel them   —   the cold bite of the irons around her wrists , the weight of the mask with each breath.      it was the only logical reason the boy her heart loved would be standing before her now.      the boy whom she had been told was murdered , no tortured until his final breath without doubt.      rowan’s touch growing firmer on her back , arm wrapping to grasp her side as if noting her wavering stance , even felt distant.      sounds of fenrys’s warning snarl in tandem to chaol’s words were but a whisper in the wind floating through the tent.

“   you’re not real   —   ”      a broken voice , one rarely if ever heard by any apart from the protective blonde fae coming to her side , only then falls from the blonde woman’s lips.      distance clouding her eyes , pulling her further away , the longer aelin looked upon the man who was sam , but couldn’t be all at the same time.      rowan’s lips moved as his gaze befell upon his wife’s , however ears did not take in what was spoken.      her gaze did not waver.

“   you’re    . . .   you’re dead.      this isn’t real.   ”

❛  i will already know, as i am continuously with you. forced to bear witness to the awkwardness that is twenty-one-year-old humans.  ❜ ❛  you do not have the right to burn what is mine.  ❜ ❛  [name], remember it's only the body that's fragile. you are unbreakable.  ❜ ❛  i'm still not making it easy. but you and i are not easy people.  ❜ ❛  the hardest battles aren't fought with weapons but with the heart.  ❜ ❛  strength of courage is more important than physical strength.  ❜ ❛  you're my gravity. nothing in my world works without you.  ❜ ❛  you're capable of hurting me in ways i'm not sure you've even begun to fathom, [name]. i might be skilled enough to land a death blow, but you alone have the power to fucking destroy me.  ❜ ❛  i'm a fucking fool for saying this, but when haven't i been a fool when it comes to you?  ❜ ❛  as complicated as our connection is, it's also undeniably simple. he's the horizon, and nothing exists beyond for me.  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry if you expect me to do the noble thing. i warned you. i'm not sweet or soft or kind, and you fell anyway. this is what you get, [name] - me. the good, the bad, the unforgivable. all of it. i am yours.  ❜ ❛  i think i liked you better before you decided that feelings were something we need to discuss.  ❜ ❛  how long do you think it takes for someone to fall out of love?  ❜ ❛  love doesn't even have the decency to die. it just transforms into abject misery.  ❜ ❛  i love you. the world does not exists for me beyond you.  ❜ ❛  i chose you not as my next, but as my last, and should you fall, then i will follow.  ❜ ❛  i would have done the same thing you did because i'm just as reckless for you as you are for me.  ❜ ❛  don't offer me your body unless you're offering me everything. i want you more than i want to fuck you. i want those three little words back.  ❜ ❛  that trick you mentioned? you know, with the fingers? thanks.  ❜ ❛  me? argue with you about books? i only pick fights i can win.  ❜ ❛  the four of us stick together. that's the deal. we make it to graduation, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  yeah, well, it cost me you.  ❜ ❛  i need to know you'll be there. that no matter what happens, you'll come back so we can talk it out or fight it out.  ❜ ❛  i know who you really are, [name]. even when you keep things from me, i know you.  ❜ ❛  all this time, you've been convincing everyone you're the hero, and now you'll be the villain ... especially in her story.  ❜ ❛  that question insults me.  ❜ ❛  whatever is going through that beautiful mind, i'm here for it.  ❜ ❛  i want you more than my next breath, but i can't fuck you into looking at me like you used to. i refuse to use sex as a tool to get you back.  ❜ ❛  shit. what is this? jealousy? anxiety? insecurity?  ❜ ❛  are you trying to bring me to my knees? or win the argument?  ❜ ❛  just remember who trained me.  ❜ ❛  you never let me have any fun.  ❜ ❛  you want to know something true? something real? i love you. i'm in love with you.  ❜ ❛  less than a minute. that's how long it took for you to fall out of love with me.  ❜ ❛  i'd rather you scream at me than pretend everything is all right with silence.  ❜ ❛  so scared i'm pretty sure either my heart's going to give out or i'm about to shit myself.  ❜ ❛  you want full disclosure when it comes to me, right?  ❜ ❛  you aren't where i left you, [name].  ❜ ❛  stories can change depending on who tells them.  ❜ ❛  i don't miss the woman i was, the one who didn't know her strength.  ❜

that's tough.

nice try.

so long.

get lost.

you win.

one more.

i failed.

that's impossible.

try again.

no shot.

believe me.

so... tomorrow?

call me?

too harsh.

this way!

be proactive.

think again.

don't move.

keep low.

you’re joking.

nobody knows.

you coming?

get fucked.

stop that.

not here.

watch yourself.

let’s go.

stay here.

no way.

don’t stop.

keep quiet.

be still.

stop yelling!

now what?

i knew.

where to?

i’m done.

don’t shoot.

try me.

it stopped.

i’m sick.

you’re right.

we’re fucked.

absolutely not.

you’re serious.

you bitch.

fuck off.

eat shit.

nice outfit.

slow down.

no trespassing.

what now?

i’m lost.

since when?

listen here.

who’s that?

go away.

leave now.

stay down.

please stop.

i’m certain.

this sucks.

please listen.

everything hurts.

nevermind that.

fuck you.

we agree?

you knew?

how come?

it’s you.

i disagree.

that’s them.

you’re miserable.

we can’t.

everyone leaves.