las diablitas

“Sure! Sounds fun.”

Maz has no fucking clue what she means by ‘Starbies’- Starbursts? Those would be pretty good- but he pretends he does, grinning at the suggestion of food and being able to get away from these two totally ignoring their respective best friends for the sake of.. That.

He’s sure Guy wouldn’t mind, that much, if he went to hang out with Tabii when they were busy with family shenanigans like that. In fact, the thought of Guy caring doesn’t even cross his mind, because he’s totally confident that his best friend is super chill and wouldn’t mind at all, and also he gets to hang out with a pretty girl and maybe finally ask about that eyepatch.

“Methinks we got a whole lotta time before they snap out of it.”

He’d go and snap between their faces to see if they’d, well, snap out of it, but that would ruin the suggested experiment. Instead he just turns away, leaving them to it and confidently walking away like he totally knows where a ‘Starbies’ is.

“ oh thank god. “ 

and tabii’s following him right out the door, rolling her eyes a bit as he starts to go the wrong way and gently tugging on his elbow to correct him. she doesn’t even think about the fact that he genuinely doesn’t know what starbies is -- everyone did! it’s a staple in a good christian home. it’s not her fault maz is jewish. 

she assumes his lack of direction is simply because he is a cis man and well ... that explains away a lot, doesn’t it?

right before they’re completely out of sight she turns back and blows the statuette that used to be her best friend a kiss goodbye, just in case he happens to notice. gotta send the bitch some good vibes to crush the pink loser into the ground and reign cousin supreme, or what the fuck ever they were doing. she doesn’t understand a single bit of it, but she supports her mans. 

“Honestly. He looks like if a white chocolate peppermint frappé was a person, and not in a good way.” Ooh, designs based on coffee drinks…that might be a fun little warm-up exercise. She’ll file that one away for later. For now, she’s more focused on getting the perfect holo flakie distribution on Tabii’s nails. She could continue this roast of Gabriel Agreste for hours, though. Fashionable or not, she’d heard some less-than-pleasant things from Adrien and Nino ( usually the latter ) that certainly hadn’t done much to endear the man to her. 

There was a difference between being protective and being stifling, Her parents were protective. Adrien’s father…mm. She’d never quite been able to shake the image of the window grilles on Adrien’s bedroom window as bars keeping him in. 

Anyway. Onto more fun topics. She has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep a grin from appearing on her face, the same trick she uses whenever the subject of Ladybug and Chat Noir is brought up with Manon. “Ladybug’s certainly isn’t very flashy, you’re right. She’s got that, like, underwater version? Which is something, I guess, but it’s not all the time.” It’s a blessing and a curse. She doesn’t need a super fancy detailed outfit to do her job well, and if Chat Noir’s tail was any indication, such accoutrements could certainly be used against her. 

She’s still a tiiiiiiny bit jealous, though. 

Marinette raises a brow, curiosity piqued. There has been tons of cool fanart she’s seen of costume upgrades—not just for her, but for the other heroes as well. Part of her always wonders about the copyright aspect of all that. “Oh, yeah? What’d you have in mind for a redesign?”

“ i guess he’s like. gotta do something to keep from looking like a knock off ugly hetero alton brown. “ tabii hums a bit, like she didn’t just roast her uncle by comparing him to the weird bdsm cooking show man. if it came down to it she’d say that to his face ! ( she hoped it didn’t come down to it, actually, because her little girl charms work so well when she’s sweet as candy around adults for as long as possible before sinking her teeth into them. and he could be scary, sometimes. like matthew morrison. )

“ i didn’t like her underwater outfit. “ tabii’s saying again, oblivious to marinette’s scowl as her nose is scrunching right back up. “ it was better, but too gaudy. like, i just think something simple and pretty would’ve been better. a mermaid ladybug design would’ve been so cute. “ a sigh, where she might’ve been about to go off on how mermaids were super cool and it had been wasted and --

and marinette was asking about her art. 

tabii’s almost shy, all of a sudden. (she’s not, because fuck you. what does she look like, ERIN? ) her face goes a little red and her eye gets big as she stares back up at the teen. she’s not used to that -- people caring about things she did for fun. showing an interest in things that she talked about beyond like ... clothes and makeup and shit. with other stuff she’d immediately jump into boasting about it and making herself look good, because that’s what a flower scout did. that’s what sasha and ms priss did. tabii wasn’t them, though. she was just the guard dog. “ oh. um, nothing. sasha said it was stupid. “

@eyeronicallynamed // maybe they can be real friends

“Is this family bonding?” Maz squints over at Preston and Guy, trying to figure out what the hell is going on over there. It looks like one of those twin telepathy moments, but like, something about it vibes.. off. Maybe it’s the fact that they aren’t twins.

He waits a few moments, staring at them and waiting for one of them to break away but- man, they must be deep in mental conversation. Eventually, he gives up and looks over to Tabii.

“How long d’you think they’ll keep this up? ‘Cause if it’s much longer maybe we should just leave them to it… it’s getting boring.” 

“ no one in my fam does this shit. “ like -- they didn’t like each other, but not in the way that guy and preston seem to not like each other. this is a deep intense bond, whereas tabii barely bothers to look at her family. this actually was kind of ....

well, it was only funny for the first few minutes. 

“ yeaaaahhh. this is like, the part of a reality tv show they’d def show maybe ten seconds of and then clip out. “ if the boys could hear their friends dissing them, they didn’t notice. she didn’t think they even blinked. eye rolls, before she’s looking back over to maz with a slight grin. 

“ you wanna, like, go get some starbies and see how long it takes them to notice we’re missing? “

@eyeronicallynamed // starter call wowee

Dealing with one camp of chaotic kids is enough- at least they have enough counselors over at Camp Campbell, and honestly, Kaleb is super down to chill with some of them. (He’s played DnD with the Lil Elf one so many times, man, you have no idea-)

But it’s really on a whole nother level when one of the other camps on Lake Lilac basically decides ‘no, I WILL go bother Camp Campbell today,’ especially when they’re surprisingly feral little girls. Like, he’s eighty percent sure he just saw that little blonde one chasing after Lil Einstein- and, actually, maybe he should do something about that.

It’s not hard to find them, surprisingly- but it is hard to scoop up the little Flower Scout that decided this was a good idea, for whatever reason. He’s pretty sure he got bit once or twice, but man, he’s already covered in bruises so whatever- what matters is that he can tuck the kid under his arm and take her somewhere else to calm down, jesus christ.

“Okay- come on, Blondie, calm down. Yeah, I get it, bark bark woof woof, chill.”

he definitely got bit more than just twice, and she would do it again!! she WILL do it again, if her snapping jaw, tiny beating fists, and absolute foaming at the mouth snarls are anything to go by. 

but she is so small and he is a decent sized grown man -- how dare he scoop her up like she’s nothing. this is like, against the law, she’s pretty sure. “ put me down!!!! let me gOOOOOO!!! “ in her shrieking she seems to have noticed one thing that lights up eye in red fucking rage -- 

neeanc--neil has somehow escaped her sight. probably scared off by the hairy homeless man. who was comparing her to a dog. her voice drops to a low monotone warning, the calm before the resulting tantrum. “ i already have a dirty white man uncle. you can’t kidnap me and tell me what to do. “ and then she’s twisting just enough to sink her teeth as hard as she can into his arm and latch DOWN so she can’t be shaken off.

“You’d think that one of the top fashion people in Paris wouldn’t wear candy-red pants all the time, and yet.” Make no mistake, she’s well aware of Tabii’s connection to the Agrestes, so perhaps being snarky about a potential future connection to the fashion world is dumb. Especially with the girl’s temperament—Marinette could absolutely inadvertently annoy her and expect all potential good words from Gabriel Agreste to evaporate, if Tabii decided to snitch. 

But…she got the feeling that wouldn’t happen. At least, not as easily as it might have a few months ago. If Tabii was just as willing to shit-talk her uncle’s sense of style ( or perplexing lack thereof ) as Marinette, she’d at least found a kindred spirit for now. It wasn’t very often she got the chance to be this dry and not worry about her image as Francois-Dupont’s sweetest student. Sigh.  

“Do you want the linear or the flakie top coat?” She asks, setting the main color down for now. They’ve still got a few minutes before it’s all properly dried, but it doesn’t hurt to get confirmation in advance. 

As she’s shaking the bottle, a mention of Aspik grabs her attention, and she has to choke back a laugh. Adrien was great, even if that particular miraculous was better fit for someone else, and that outfit…had not done wonders. Maybe its only advantage was keeping his identity under wraps. Or a head condom, as it were. “Do you even…you know what, never mind. But speaking of hair, I’m super jealous of Rena Rouge and Queen Bee’s—those ponytails are majestic.” Why can’t she get magic hair like that, Tikki?

" he totes looks like a game show host for a show that only comes on at 3am. “ eye is rolling as best as it could -- because while, yes, it would be so easy for tabii to turn into a little tattletale and snitch off ... god, she hates her uncle. for all he was rich and powerful, he was kind of a freak. for all he was supposedly the fashion lead in paris, he sure made her favorite cousin ( only cousin ) dress like a gap model sometimes. for all he gave to abuse themed charities, he sure was ... 

well. nobody likes a hypocrite. 

fact of the matter is, seeing marinettes more nasty and catty side come out is only helping to warm her to tabii’s favor. she knew little miss sweetness was partially an act, no one’s that nice and positive and quirky all the time. sasha taught her that with ainsley, who ended up abandoning them at the flower scouts fashion show. at least marinettes mean streak was more tabii’s style! 

“ flakie pleaaase. “ tabii chirps back, before nodding a bit eagerly at the next part. “ ohmigawd yes! the way like, the ponytails are pretty and totes ready to kick some ass ! plus the fuckin’ colors matching their outfits -- it has to be part of the magic, right? cause if someone had hair like that you could spot them a mile away ... “ there’s a beat, tabii looking confused and like she was thinking hard about something, before one shoulder is raised in a half shrug. “ maybe that’s why ladybugs get up is so basic? if it was anything other than the boring mess it is, maybe people would recognize her in the streets. “ 

a surefire sign that tabii has no idea she is actually talking to ladybug, right there. 

“I know.” Pink hair is pushed gently behind her shoulder at the compliment, ever so careful not to mess it up. She’d worked so carefully on it today- if she was being painted, she wanted it to be perfect, so if it was messed up, she’d have no choice but to blame Tabii and make the blonde girl fix it for her. And it always took her so long to do that.

Her heels click, nice and loud, against the floor as Sasha enters- it makes her feel more dominant. Powerful. She keeps her shoes on as she walks further into the house, only half listening to whatever Tabii’s going on about.

“Ugh, right? Totes not even worthy of being called a model.” She roles her eyes at the term being bastardized like that, before looking over her shoulder at Tabii with a smirk.

“You’re soooo lucky to have me as a friend.” She adjusts her hair once more, before placing her hands on her hips and actually turning to Tabii.

“So, like, where are we doing this? Cause natural lighting is best, so I was thinking one of those big bay windows- do you have one here? Can you afford that?”

“ i sooooo am ! no one, like, even holds a crystal to you sasha. “ laying it on a little thick? yeah, probably. would sasha notice? no, probably not. years have gone by to where tabii knows EXACTLY how much sashas ego needs to be fed. said ego was the fattest, greediest little bitch in all of the sleepy peak adjacent area. 

“ oh, yeah! we’ve got one. it’s not as big as like, the one at your place, but ... “ ah. the trouble that came with being the poor friend of the trio. tabii’s family barely made a few million a year, and compared to erin or even sasha that was chump change for sure. she was basically on the free lunch program, honestly. 

“oh gawd, you look gorgeous. “ usual mandatory compliment given to sasha the second she opens the door, but she always always means it. this time isn’t any different. tabii feels her insides tangle a bit as she looks at the girl in front of her, but sickening realizations are thrown aside for more important things. like moving out of the way so that, even though this is tabii’s place, sasha can worm her way in and take over and play the leader (one that tabii was always ever so eager to follow. )

“ thanks for doing this. the, like, models they provided at the school were fat and ugly and fuck if i was gonna paint some kind of greaseball reject. “ she thought that was mean enough to make sasha proud of her, maybe. it wasn’t necessarily true, the models were all cute enough but ... 

He’s more than ready to ream into her- to give her a whole monologue about how fucking rude it was to just up and go silent, and then to just show back up, and to just say ‘sorry, I missed you,’ with nothing else- but her vibes are off. 

That doesn’t stop him from pulling his head back, arms still wrapped tight around her- he doesn’t want to let her go, afraid that she’ll just vanish all over again if he does,- and look down at her as though reading a script.

Enter stage left: Tabiitha Date.  Tabiitha would be visibly fine- if it weren’t for the subtlest of clues that Preston can pick up with ease. And he is peeved, and concerned, and generally just upset. Both with her and whatever brought her to this point.

His frown deepens severely, and he breaths heavily through his nose, lips thinning in only the way a white man can- to the point where they’re nearly gone. 

And he stands there, for a moment, contemplating. There are a lot of things he wants to do, all at once, here. Be mad at her for abandoning him, be mad at her for generally not confiding in him when something was clearly up when they were each others confidants, be mad at whatever had caused her to get to the point where she was slightly askew and smaller than she should be, offer her nothing but comfort because clearly she went through something rough-

He settles on letting his arms slip from where they were wrapped tightly around her, slipping down to instead grab her hands and start pulling her towards the stage he had just abandoned to sit her down. Unfortunately for you, Tabiitha Date, you’re absolutely right- you do have to talk about this now, and Preston Goodplay is going to keep you hostage until you do. That kind of communication is the least you can offer after ghosting him like that, after all.

He waits until she does sit to speak, arms crossed, voice firm.

“Spill. You look like shit. What the fuck happened? And unless you were fucking kidnapped or some shit- why the ghosting?” It’s almost ironic that a look of hurt ghosts across his face as he brings it up. 

He’d give her the benefit of the doubt, for now- but she’s on thin fucking ice. (In a shallow pool of water, he can’t fathom staying upset- staying away from her longer than he’s already been made to,- because that hurts him just as much as her, but still.)

she’s not to fond of that -- the way his arms slip from hers and he pulls back. the hugs over, and it’s time to move onto the next portion of the reunion she ... really wasn’t looking forward to. (and, she missed this. she missed crawling into prestons lap and kissing the corner of his lips, she misses holding him at literally any waking moment and there not being his personal space -- just theirs. but just clutching onto his hands for a moment and dumbly following after him so she can get yelled at would have to be enough, for now. ) 

tabii smooths her skirt down, sitting and facing the disapproving mother formation that preston has taken on. she deserves this, she knows, but she can’t help the sharp wince that crosses her face as hurt flashes over his. 

yikes. this was going to be rough, huh?

“ gee, bitch, thanks. do i at least look like hawt shit, or am i totally fucked? “ she wouldn’t be tabii if she didn’t fire off a bit of snark right back at him, but her smile wobbles off not a second after it’s fitted into place. tabii sighs, tucking a stray hair behind her ear before hand moves back down to dig fresh manicure straight into her arm. 

“ at first i was like -- embarrassed, i guess ? i also didn’t wanna like, deal with a supes big freak out. “ translation: i didn’t want you to worry about me. “ it’s like ... not as big of a deal as i made it, for sure. but that’s just me being a dramatic little slut like the ush, i guess ! “ 

a beat of silence passes, before she decides -- fuck it. might as well go all in so they can get past this and get to the fucking gossiping and catching up and forgiveness portion of the day. ( because he would forgive her, he was preston and she was tabii. they can’t exist without each other for very long without completely and utterly falling apart ) 

Marinette leveled Tabii with a deadpan glance, but set her attention back on the task at hand soon after, keeping quiet: she’d walked right into that. Messing up the process wasn’t something she was willing to do: not just because she knew Tabii would immediately call her out for it, but she took pride in her steady hand. There was hardly any time these days to do the fun, complex designs she wanted for herself, but it would probably last slightly longer on Tabii than Marinette. 

“And, like—we’re supposed to be the fashion capital of the world, and we’re represented by supervillains wearing pajamas?” ‘We’ being Paris as a whole, in this case, but Marinette felt enough personal annoyance as a designer. “Not like some of the heroes’ outfits are much better, honestly. If you wanna wave your right hand a bit, you can: it needs to dry anyway.” 

When it came to things as important as manicures, Marinette trusted Tabii to be careful, but that was about as far as that went. “There are some that are alright, but they’re few and far between. Like…I don’t know if you were around when Gabriel Agreste got akumatized, but if he didn’t already look like a fucking candy cane already…”

you think that deadpan glance will do anything to her?? she has attacked full grown women and lost an eye before she even hit double digits, she has stared death in the face with a knife between her teeth. ( cookie sales got EXTREME sometimes ). the point is -- one teenager looking slightly unamused with her isn’t going to do anything but paint a perky little smirk on glossy lips. she would stick her tongue out, if she hadn’t just had a lecture about unladylike things before marinette had shown up. the smarmy little look would just have to do. 

“ he looked like the designers on some shitty b movie made an alien costume and at the last minute remembered, oh wait, this is a christmas movie, and tried to save it. honestly, you’d think one of the top fashion people in paris could’ve like ... influenced a better outfit. “ her hand does just that, gesturing a bit with no comment on marinette telling her it would be okay because fuck you, tabiitha date does what she wants. “ or maybe it’s a fitting punishment. “ 

bad dads get shitty biker helmets with stripes, it all makes sense now. “ you’re totes right though. the heroes aren’t much BETTER. the little snake guy looked like he had a condom on his head. “

I go by Fin now and use he/they pronouns! I’m 23 and have a job so my biggest days of activity will probably be my days off (thursdays and fridays) but I’ll try and sneak on other times too. I still have a lovely boyfriend over at @theatreborn who i just wanted to brag abt and ... 

@eyeronicallynamed​ is a fashionable little brat ( and i love fel )

“You know,” Marinette starts, almost absentmindedly. Almost all of her focus is currently on painting Tabii’s nails: she’d recently gotten some holographic polishes, and of all the kids she had to occasionally babysit, Tabii was the one most likely to go along with it. She certainly couldn’t picture Manon agreeing to sit still for long enough to get the perfect holo manicure. “Whoever Hawk Moth is, he has shit taste in design.” 

It’s something she’s wanted to complain about for a while, actually. The fact that her only audience to this specific rant is a nine-year-old says a lot, but—much as Tabii can annoy her—Marinette can’t deny that the girl has a sense of style. “I mean, some of these akuma are just…ugly.” Is that mean? Well, she’s speaking strictly about the source of evil that’s taking over the poor hostages and cloaking them in such god-awful attire, not the people themselves. “Am I being a bitch, or…?” Ooh, maybe don’t set that one up so easy, Marinette. 

of course tabii was likely to go along with it -- rich and fashionable or no, her nails needed touch-ups so often. punching boys, other scouts, and grown men who tried to sell drugs on her cookie turf would fuck up even the best of manicures. the fact that it was MARINETTE giving it did give her a little pause, but she’d cut the poor little ... poor girl a break. she let tabii do her makeup sometimes, this could be a fair trade. 

it was nice, too, how marinette didn’t try to hold her tongue and not be vulgar when around tabii. that could be just because tabii herself spoke like a miniature version of a sailor, but still.