— TRIGGER HAPPY !

෴     MONEY     DON’T GROW ON TREES …

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ Oh my God, what the hell did I do? ❞

❝ I’m flirting with forty. ❞

❝ What if I’m bound for disaster? ❞

❝ Will I ever just learn how to live and not wonder what if? ❞

❝ Why do I do this? Obsess and debate. ❞

❝ Most of my choices turned out to be wrong. ❞

❝ How can this make any difference? ❞

❝ Today a pigeon shit right on my head. ❞

❝ The Virgin Mary appeared in my bread. ❞

❝ Those are the signs that you can’t ignore! ❞

❝ I’m too old for all that shit. ❞

❝ The odds are I’m some two-faced, lying freak. ❞

❝ You never see the worst that things can be. ❞

❝ Odds are I will do what most men do and hurt you too. ❞

❝ What the hell are you looking at? ❞

❝ Who are you to judge me? ❞

❝ What the fuck? ❞

❝ There’s a chance that it’ll all be alright. ❞

❝ It’s possible I’m pushing this a little too far. ❞

❝ It’s not like things can get a whole lot worse than they are. ❞

❝ And _____ plays dumb, surprised that I want him. ❞

❝ He kissed me back. ❞

❝ Can I ever just feel what I feel? ❞

❝ I’ve got a taste for certain men who will treat me like shit. ❞

❝ Romance has again run amuck. ❞

❝ How’d I end up lying naked with you? ❞

❝ I was stone-cold stupid sober, so I can’t blame the drink. ❞

❝ You’re no good at small talk. ❞

❝ I’m awkward, ungrateful and sometimes I’m hateful. ❞

❝ Deep down, I’m a coward. ❞

❝ The only thing more frightening is to say “What might have been?”. ❞

❝ You don’t need to love me. ❞

❝ Don’t make me any promises, just promise we’re not through. ❞

❝ You don’t need to need me. ❞

❝ We can keep on being lonely but we don’t have to be apart. ❞

❝ I’ll never even ask you to let me have your heart. ❞

❝ I’ll never break your heart. ❞

❝ You don’t need to love me the way that I love you. ❞

❝ I’ve got no time for playing nice. ❞

❝ If you’re not drinkin’ then something’s new. ❞

❝ It just…seems so traditional. ❞ 

❝ I might want children but not like this. ❞

❝ He thinks he loves me and I know it’s not true. ❞

❝ I want that job. I want to give it everything I have. ❞

❝ I’m pregnant. ❞ 

❝ Your teeny tiny swimmers, they’re determined little guys. ❞

❝ Everyone’s waiting on you. ❞

❝ We’re so excited just to know you’ll soon be here. ❞

❝ If I say that you don’t scare me, I’m a liar. ❞

❝ It terrifies me just to say “My pregnant wife”. ❞

❝ I’m not ready – not a bit. ❞

❝ There’s this macho act I’ll sell you while inside I lose my shit. ❞

❝ Is it true you’ll stick around for eighteen years? ❞

❝ Life is what you make it. ❞

❝ It makes my life to know I helped make you. ❞

❝ If my asshole dad could do it, I can too. ❞

❝ I found myself a woman, or a man, and had a son. ❞

❝ Somewhere there’s a world where you and I can still be friends. ❞

❝ What is it that you’re afraid of? Being hurt? Let down? Destroyed? ❞

❝ I’ll be the best worst mistake you ever made. ❞

❝ It’s not that I don’t love you ‘cause I don’t not love you.  ❞

❝ I’d lie to say I’m never sometimes always thinking of you. ❞

❝ When something’s deeply felt, it seems shallow just to say the thing that’s expected.❞

❝ Love’s a bitch. ❞

❝ You tricked me into saying that. ❞

❝ I said it and you said it and I know you meant it, too. ❞

❝ I hate you. ❞

❝ Don’t do it, I need you. ❞

❝ Don’t leave me, I love you. ❞

❝  Don’t say that you love me ‘cause what does it matter? ❞

❝ You’re going to leave me. So leave me, whatever. ❞

❝ It’s not like I need you. ❞

❝ Let’s look at this calmly, discuss how I hate you. ❞

❝ Don’t touch me! ❞

❝ You’re the reason I think this life might not be meaningless. ❞

❝ With you I never feel I’m out of place. ❞

❝ God damn it, you did it. I knew you would do it. ❞

❝ God damn you, you asshole, you motherfucker! ❞

❝ I will never let this world take me away from you. ❞

❝ I see him in the faces of the boys he left behind and die a bit with every tiny smile. ❞

❝ You learn not to count the deadly days as they fade into years. ❞

❝ Could I please go out some less expected way? ❞

❝ Yes, marriage is a bastard, but love is always good. ❞

❝ Love while you can. ❞

❝ Love will keep on living when the shit hits the fan. ❞

❝ If you saw him and saw all the hurt you would know, would you hold him while you had him or let him go? ❞

❝ If you knew that your laughter would not last forever but you knew while it did you would breathe it like air. Would you let him make you love him? ❞

❝ What would you do if you could do it all over? ❞

❝  If you could go back knowing what you know now, what would you do? ❞

❝ I never thought I’d get a second chance. I thought I was done. Then I met you. ❞

❝ I never dreamed I could learn how to love again. ❞

❝ Thank you for finding me. ❞

❝ Fuck you for making me think that this life might be fair. ❞

“Hi, I’m ______.”

“Oh fuck! Are you okay?”

“Crap! Sorry about that! Wasn’t looking where I was going. Here, I’ll get you a new jacket…”

“Need a ride?”

“How are you?”

“Seems like we’re gonna be stuck on this train for an extra three hours.”

“What’s your name?”

“Thank you.”

“You just saved my life!”

“Move the fuck out of my way.”

“Watch where you’re going!”

“Asshole.”

“Would you like anything?”

“You’re gorgeous.”

“Do I know you?”

“Uh, that’s my spot.”

“Oh, God, sorry! Let me buy you a new one.”

“Is that your dog? He is so CUTE!”

“Here, take my seat. You look tired.”

“Checking in?”

“Can I sit here?”

“May I buy you a drink?”

“I can spot you, if you want.”

“How’d you even get stuck in a locker, anyway?”

“Can you turn it down?! Some of us are trying to sleep!”

“Hi, I’m your new roommate.”

“I think I found your dog. Is he yours?”

“You look cold, take my jacket.”

“Hey, I think the mailman gave me your mail by mistake? [Name], right?”

“You’ve had a guy/girl over every night this week! And you’re really loud! You know how I know? I know because I live below you!”

“So, your kid apparently punched my kid in the face.”

“Bride or groom?”

“Can you switch seats with me? I can’t see!”

“Okay, look, if you’re gonna be airsick, aim the other way.”

“[Sir/Ma'am], if you don’t stop being rude to me, I’m going to give you decaf.”

“Don’t drink that! I saw some guy slip something in there.”

“Hey, is he bothering you?”

“Don’t give up your day job.”

“…Dude, your fly’s down.”

“I think you have the wrong number.”

“I’m [muse’s child]’s teacher.”

“[Muse’s child/younger sibling] was in my yard again!”

“Get out of here! This is my hiding spot!”

“YOUR STUPID MUTT RIPPED UP MY YARD AGAIN!”

“SHUT UP. And learn to stay on key.”

“Good Evening/Afternoon/Morning/Day/Night.”

“Watch where you’re going!”

“Is this seat taken?”

“Here you dropped this.”

“You remind me of someone.”

“Will you be taking this?”

“May I take your order?”

“How are you?”

“You look familiar, have we met before?”

“Be careful next time.”

“Hey, could you help me?”

“Help me!”

“I’m so sorry!”

“Are you alright?!”

“I know we’ve never met, but I think you’re beautiful.”

“I think I may have seen you before…”

“Hey! Watch it!”

“Oh my god are you okay?”

“Have we met…?”

“Were you at that one party?”

“Remember me?”

“I know you don’t know me but I love your shirt.”

“Quick, pretend to look like you’re talking to me.”

“Hey, is that your dog?”

“Service takes forever here.”

“Don’t mean to sound cliche, but do you come here often?”

“I wouldn’t sit there if I were you.”

“This is gonna be a long plane ride.”

“Can you turn that music down?”

“People are trying to sleep!”

“I’m your new neighbour.”

“Is that who I think it is?”

“Be quiet!”

“Is that your son/daughter?”