a blob of existential dread

if youre not in school anymore and are looking for ways to get out of the house more go to the nearest "hip" coffee shop you can that has a bulletin board with flyers on it for local events and attend any and all the ones youre able to ESPECIALLY if they're free. this is the only actionable advice that has worked for me

(guy who literally has easy access to painkillers voice) ough,,, everything aches,,, ouch, if only,,, there was something i could do to stop this,,,,,, guess ill just put up with it,,,,

Collecting books is great until you have to move all of them at once and realize that every one of the little bastards weighs about as much as a brick and collectively have the mass of a neutron star

maybe growing up is just becoming who you were at 14 again but learning how to love her this time

Thank god soulmates (one person destined for you that you will never be happy without) aren't real but soulmates (people you understand and connect with on a special level, multiple, some of which you havent met yet) are real

I could never own a parrot. They are splendid and delightful joyful creatures but I could not match their fucking whimsy. If I woke up at 4:45 am on a tuesday to the sound of some gleeful feather-cloaked varmint doing aerial somersaults all over the house while singing the world's most high-pitched whistle nightcore one-man a capella cover of Funkytown, I'd eat it.

Are you ever typing something that your phone autocapitalizes and you go back and re-type it just to force uncapitalize it. Like no sorry mcdonalds doesn’t deserve that level of respect from me

The reason this makes the rhubarb plant sweeter is because all the glucose that would be spent growing the plant's inedible leaves is instead kept in the edible stalk. Omelas ass gardening technique.

are you a marijuana sex dungeon girlie or a rhubarb torment nexus girlie?

“they tried to kill each other” yes and? do you have a problem with true love

I'm going to *remembers suicide jokes are detrimental to my mental health* quit my job and start making shoes for American Girl Dolls