apricus

“This time we were close, though.” He shrugged. “You are just one percent in front of me.”

“Well,” you took a deep breath “it’s nice of you to say that. For the next semester I’ll be sure to be five percent up.”

“I wish you the best of luck as I intend to be first too. You know, I’ve seen you as a great competitor, but you should be ready for a break.” He blinked and you felt a bitter taste filling your saliva, just as his actions and words were poison.

You were ready to answer; the words scratching your throat, wishing to get out of your mouth. The perfect sentence formed up in the tip of your tongue and you felt prepared to throw the letters at his confident posture, but someone called your name. Instead of being alleviated, you didn’t want the conversation to die in that type of limbo; to be forgotten and Jaehyun just think of you like some kind of unprepared nerd. You were prepared, and you wanted to confront him, but why?

He sighed. “I am sure you—”

“I have to go.” You said; your voice weak and barely audible. You cleared your throat and repeated; he grinned, only. “I believe we will see each other often, then.” The words came out soft and friendly. You even found it awkward, but didn’t bother waiting for his response. Turning to where your name was being called, you followed your way.

Still it was quite out of context someone like him comes, promptly, and talks to you in a – almost – casual manner. It was funny, too, how you felt the atmosphere serene and pleasant with Jaehyun’s presence, and that’s adding his accusative tone. All of that, and you didn’t know him; what you knew, actually, was his repulsive reputation of being rude and extremely self-confident. He didn’t seem, though, like that. His voice was velvety, his brown-caramel eyes were refreshing, and if it wasn’t already enough to be involving, his smile was full and blinding. He looked gorgeous, that was a fact. But what caught you out off guard was his gentle and cordial way to talk and direct his words even if he was trying to intimidate you. Is he, you thought, really an asshole like they say?

“…and he was talking to you?” You were cut off of your thoughts when your friend had slapped a hand on your back.

“Jaehyun?”  You’d presumed she was talking about the scene before, even though you didn’t actually pay attention to her words. The girl nodded and you gave her a small grin. “He wanted to congratulate me.”

“Congratulate?” She seemed deeply confused. “He is not the kind of guy who simply congratulates people, you know.”

“That’s why I got first again.” You had raised your index finger meaning a number one and your girlfriend perfectly understood what you meant. She yelled the loudest ‘yeah’ you have ever heard in your life and jumped really high, commemorating your achievement. She was happier than you were thirty minutes ago.

Suddenly she’d stopped and: “You should remember your promise.”

“I do.” You laughed. Of course, how could you forget about the stupidest decision you have ever made? She examined you from head to toes and sighed.

“See, we can stay home too.” She shrugged. “If you don’t feel comfortable—”

“If it is because of him” you cut her off “don’t worry. And it’s your chance with Yuta.” You’d touched her cheeks in an affectionate way.

“I’ll have other chances, though.” She softly hit your hands, moving them away from her face. Her protection and preoccupation was clear and touching, yet you didn’t think it was necessary. With smart words and a well-toned voice, you convinced the poor girl you were fine with the situation; after all, you promised and promises are meant to be kept.

The truth, although, was that you needed to see your ex-boyfriend and be completely confident about your feelings; be certain you were over it and the affection for him died long ago. What you fear, nevertheless, was the little fire still burning inside your chest—if it was either due to the imminent encounter, or if it was something new. The ultimate reality should hit you, deep inside. And it had to happen that day, that night.

—

The music was explicit and the lyrics, dirty and invasive. Few of the melodies could actually make you move your body (slightly) and enjoy the moment. Shots and shots of vodka had become some sort of time-killer when your girlfriend left you sitting alone to hook up with the guy named Nakamoto Yuta. She said they would be inside a room, but didn’t say which one it was. So you decided to wait; sooner or later she would be back – and you hoped it was sooner.

An ambient that didn’t actually match with your idea of having a good time was a house party. People drunk and wasted, while some of those who still were conscious had to take care of the boys and girls throwing up everywhere; there were always couples kissing and this annoying smell of rough and unplanned sex. Like it was casual, but you knew people fooled around just because they thought it was natural to have relations with anyone, anywhere.

You’d rather be at home, sleeping, than be where you were and seeing what you saw.

To make it worst, you’d been squeezed between pairs of young-adults that constantly changed into other pairs. It was a warm-up before the couples decide if they would or wouldn’t feed their libido. You sighed when the sofa became empty. In the past thirty minutes your body had been hit, punched and kicked unintentionally, and all you did was nod in acceptance. Now your form was the only thing occupying the fluffy furniture; you’d rested your neck on the couch’s pillow and closed your eyes in a vain attempt to filter some nice sounds in the surroundings.

Someone sat beside you and: “I thought you wouldn’t come.”

You knew the voice; oh, and how you wished you didn’t. He was there and right by your side; your heart raced a little, but not enough to convince you that you could possibly be emotive. Slowly you opened your eyelids, not bothering if took you long to pick up the correct words to say. Indeed, it took you an enormous time to gather sufficient courage to speak.

“I gambled.” You shrugged. “And lost. I am just paying the bill.”

“I see.” He said and you were sure he smiled too. “I am glad you came, it’s been a while.”

“Youngho,” you finally stared at him. He was softly different from when you two ended up your relationship; his hair was shorter and he became thinner. Maybe he grew muscles too, you’d pondered. “I didn’t come because of you.”

“I am not saying you did.” He ignored your gaze, shifting positions and looking away. “Anyway, both of us should move on, right?” Youngho found someone—a black-haired girl, you saw—and smiled. “I still consider you very important, we dated for three—”

“I need to go after Yuta and a friend of mine, if you don’t bother.” You stood up, stopping Youngho to say any other word. He took a deep breath and nodded, although his eyes were begging you to stay.

It didn’t matter, though, what your ex-boyfriend said. When he sat down and his voice echoed in your ears it was a mixture of emotions, but none of them were related to love. Something close to anger and heartburn, you would say. Youngho’s posture was light and concrete, while you were still broken into small pieces and trying to pick up from the ground parts of your soul that you were sure you lost. He was completely bright and you were totally stormy.

Going up, your steps slow and heavy, you gained time to think about why you still had this burning sensation in your stomach. Not because you weren’t over your recent ended love, but because you hated how injured you were – and he wasn’t. You felt all of that was unfair, because you’d suffered for days and days, so in the end your sentiments collapsed and you’d felt nothing; for some time you became immune of pleasure and sadness. You felt nothing. And it wasn’t good either.

You leaned your back in the first wall in front of you. It was a really long hallway and you were only some steps away from the stairs, but it felt good. Good to have no one but you standing; even if you recognized that all the rooms on the floor were populated, at least the corridor was desert.

For some reason you were holding a bottle of beer, and you didn’t realise that until you felt your left hand cold and hurting. You smiled at your own misperception; you’d been so overwhelmed with love life that you forgot how much you’d been drinking and even when you had gotten that bottle. With nothing to lose, you took a long sip from the liquid; your throat burning with the astringent taste of the alcohol. You let a short ‘ah’ come out of your mouth after you’d finished the drink and put the jar on the ground.

“What if I had bet something with someone?” A voice startled you, causing your body to tremble entirely. It was Jung Jaehyun.

“Where did you come from?” You inquired; your eyes widened. He was holding a glass with a transparent liquid and you presumed it was soju because of the strong smell. Jaehyun shook the glass, moving the drink a little bit, as it was a combination of all kinds of liquors; with his free hand he sent you a ‘wait’ sign and you rolled your eyes. Like everybody else he should be just playing around.

His expression, although, was peacefully. Jaehyun had his hair straight and his clothes on place; it looked like he just arrived to the party and that cup of alcohol was his first. You asked yourself, while you read him, how he could possibly have such a controlled aura. Jaehyun didn’t seem lost, but also didn’t seem immersed in the environment. He was in the same position as you: leaned on a wall; his pupils dilated due to the booze he just ingested and his breath slow and paced.

Suddenly a girl exited the bathroom close to where Jaehyun was, and you acknowledged what possibly happened. Her eyes showed concern when she saw you standing in front of the blond haired boy and you thought that she was afraid you would tell someone about what perhaps occurred in the small lavatory. You grinned at the thought of being mean enough to start walking around and telling everyone that Jung Jaehyun just had had sex in a toilet, but you put yourself on the girl’s place and decided that from all of those people fucking around, why would punish only that poor girl?

With fast steps she left the floor and went all the way down to reach the real party. You smirked, ironically.

“Unbelievable.” Your words came out as a whisper.

But you had been wrong. Right after the girl vanished, a guy came out from the same bathroom as her, with the same concerned expression she had and the same speed on his steps. That boy had fun, not Jung Jaehyun.

Jaehyun cleared his throat calling your attention back to him. “What if I bet something with someone?” He repeated his first words.

“What do I have to do with that?” You shrugged; cleaning the scene about the girl, the boy and the bathroom from your mind.

“What if I say it has to do with you?” He came two steps closer.

You snorted. “Why would you?”

“See, I was sure you would get second place.” He stepped back, leaning on the wall again.

“So it’s all about the rank?” You inquired, not believing at his words. “That’s why it involves me?”

“No, no.” He shook his head. “The thing is: if you got first” Jaehyun laughed before continuing: “I’d have to kiss you.”

You sarcastically grinned. “Otherwise?”

He seemed surprised with your question, so it took him some seconds to ratiocinate. “I’ll have to shave every single hair of my body.”

“Eyebrows too?”

“Eyebrows too.” He assured.

You laughed, loudly. It’d been a while since you sincerely laughed like that and it made Jaehyun smile for a moment. “Good luck on that. I’d recommend hot wax.”

Turning on your heels you took your way down again, but you stopped on the top of the stair as soon as you witnessed a scene you’d rather not see. Youngho had his hands over a girl’s body, drawing her curves with the tip of his fingers while his lips touched the skin of her face and then her mouth. You felt disgusted; the will to throw up rising inside you. You shifted, looking back to Jaehyun who had eyes glued on your form.

“Look.” He said. “I don’t really want to hurt my balls.”

“Don’t you–” you began asking, but he cut you off.

“It’s not the main topic if it’s a forest down there or not.” Jaehyun stepped closer once again and you let a ‘gross’ out of your mouth. “I am not that bad and it is just a kiss.”

“What do you get if you kiss me?” You asked, some sort of interest growing on your bowels.

He smirked. “Two hundred bucks.”

You nodded. “We split. And then I am in.”

Jaehyun had been caught out off guard; the boy really didn’t believe you would accept his proposal. “So it’s a deal.”

“And I think I have the right to know who the person who made this bet with you was.” You pointed out.

“Ah” he said. “A friend of mine; Chittaphon.”

“The Art and Dance major?” It was funny to think that the small thin guy, known all over the University for his pure personality, had done that kind of wager. Jaehyun said a low ‘yes’ and you just shrugged. “All right, so we do this here or?”

“Well, you know” he began, coming closer and closer. “It has to be, hum, public.”

“You mean you have to do this in front of everyone so your friend can see and you won’t be shaved from head to toes.” You spilled out so fast that Jaehyun took a moment to understand every word. In the end he positively shook his head. You touched the boy’s shoulder and muttered a ‘let’s do it then’.

Jaehyun pointed to the stair, as a mention for you to lead him. You were not sure about his intentions – it could be Youngho trying to outwit you or your friend, trying to stay longer with her toy-boy Yuta –, although it looked like the blond haired boy was being extremely honest. He could just had tried attacking you and wining the bet without wasting time talking, but Jaehyun opt to be truthful. Your heart raced a bit and you smiled at the thought of you two becoming friends; it was equal those cliché romances, where the girl and the boy hate each other yet end up liking one another—of course, you did not expect to get to that kind of point.

With slow steps you went down, feeling a shadow behind you and a hand touching your shoulder. His skin was warm, but not hot. It had a pleasant temperature, causing your body to react positively to his small gesture of kindness—if you could consider a ‘touching my shoulder’ a gesture of kindness.

Despite your laziness to walk, you’d been able to easily feel the adrenaline being launched on your blood, as your body impatiently waited for an action. Increasing heartbeats turned out to heavy breaths and shaking hands. You stopped as soon as you both arrived to the first floor; pondering about it, you had no reason to be nervous. Your eyes instinctively reached Jaehyun’s and the fire inside your chest got stronger, grew bigger. You had no reason to be nervous unless you let that blond boy mess up with your psyche.

He noticed your hesitancy. “If it’s too much for you, I can negotiate the part of shaving eyebrows.” Jaehyun shrugged.

“No, that’s not it.” You smiled. “I was just thinking.” Your voice came out strong and it surprised you. Sounding brave wasn’t what you expected.

Jaehyun laughed. “You are interesting.”

What words can do, you contemplated. His voice was so soft and addicting, you felt like diving into something deep, dark, with no way back to the surface. Clearly Jaehyun was playing, so you cogitated if you should or not do the same. Was it even something you should worry about? You shook your head; that kind of thought should be far away from your mind.

The blond haired boy said something about getting a drink and you just nodded, not really absorbing his words. You’d been too immersed in your own world that he disappeared in the crowd and you didn’t realise until you felt something missing by your side. You’d felt the need for his presence; it made you sick and you felt a strong vertigo hitting you at once. It was disgusting that you had never spoken to Jaehyun before and he made you feel this way; it was disgusting you wanted him, yet it was just about a stupid bet. Were you that easy?

You walked some feet and rested your body on a wall. From where you were, you could easily see a lot of people having, what you supposed, ‘the time of their lives’. It sounded futile, ridiculous and humiliating. Persons unconsciously doing whatever others told them to do so, wasted bodies wandering from one side of the room to the other, drinks poured on the ground and that annoying smell of marijuana filling your lungs and making you feel even sicker. As a plus, you’d met Youngho’s eyes again; this time he didn’t seem very aware of the ambient and just sent you an insignificant grin. His eyes were glued on your form, but all you felt was anger. And anger. And an immense hate.

“So he’s your ex.” The velvety voice close to your ear was enough to tell that Jaehyun was back. He gave an ironic emphasis on the word ex, like it was toxic.

You smiled, weakly. “My taste for guys is not the best one, you know.”

He literally dragged his body onto the wall and killed the distance between your physiques; his shoulder touching yours. “If you stay with me we can probably change that assumption.”

You laughed, loudly. He didn’t say a word about it, however the true was: he loved that sound; the sound of genuine happiness. It didn’t mean, though, he loved specifically your laugh. Jaehyun unravelled from the concrete divider and positioned himself in front of you; a hand holding the cup of vodka and the other still planted on the wall not so far from your face.

He sighed. “Stop looking at him.”

You shrugged. “I am not.”

“Stop thinking about him.” Jaehyun asked; his voice tone disturbed.

“I am not.” You repeated yourself. He leaned closer, and closer. So close that you felt his sent.

“I want you to look at me.” He said. “Look at me.” Jaehyun demanded and your body responded without your will. He was hypnotic; you were two polos of a magnet—completely different personalities, different conceptions, different in every single way, yet you completed each other because plus and minus are parts of the same electromagnetic field. Your minds may fight against one another, but the necessities of your bodies were more intense.

You stared at him; Jaehyun’s caramel eyes were magnificent, completely mesmerizing. You’d felt anaesthesia spreading all over your veins and you knew it was because the only thing you could possibly feel in that exact moment was the smell from his skin; mint and chocolate, a mixture you usually hated, still on him suited well—it wasn’t cloying, it was addicting.

He stepped back, put the glass on the ground and stood up without taking his eyes off you. Jaehyun’s gaze was passionate, even though you two were nothing but colleagues—and not even that, if you ponder. The space between you and him began to vanish; he approached step by step until there was no gap amid you two. You grinned; he blinked. You’d passed your tongue over your lips, wetting them; he smirked. You’d raised your arms and rested them around his neck while your hands pended one on top of the other; he run his hands over your waist, one of them softly clutching your abdomen and the other involving you completely on his embrace. By this time, his lips were less than centimetres away.

Jaehyun blinked twice before speaking: “I’m kissing you right now. Do you see Chittaphon?”

You got disappointed, but did not show it to him. Your eyes had run around the place searching for some guy with black hair and, finally, you found him. Chittaphon was watching the scene fascinated, waiting for his friend’s next step. “He is here.” You said; your voice smooth.

The blond haired boy smirked, again. “Thanks God. I wouldn’t endure much longer.”

Before you could ask what he meant, Jaehyun had his lips pressed contra yours; the mint scent feeling your lungs and the taste of chocolate feeling your mouth. It suited him; sweet smell, sweet flavour. The way he kissed you was not desperate, yet you could feel the fervour growing and the only thing holding the boy back was you. He wanted you to allow a continuation; he wanted you to tell it was okay to go further. You bit his lower lip causing Jaehyun to groan. Provocation wasn’t your best skill, but you knew Jaehyun wasn’t your ideal type either, so risking should be the first thing to do in that case. You rubbed your lips across his own, as a sign you were ready for him to go deeper than just a soft kiss.

He smirked, acknowledging what you meant. With your mouth still connected, Jaehyun grabbed your wrists and placed your hands on his torso; he held your face in the midst of his palms, gracefully caressing your jawline. With your permission, he let his tongue reach out for yours.

It wasn’t forced. You’d feel the heat intensify among you two while the boy kissed your lips in a completely ardent manner; he wanted it, you knew. Jaehyun managed to make your lips match completely; your hands running over his chest while he squeezed your body’s boundaries and activated some sensitive points you didn’t even know existed. He pressed his frame closer, and closer.

And then someone interrupted the kiss. “That’s enough.” You opened your eyes and recognized the person.

Jaehyun gave you an apologetic look and turned to face his friend. “I was just—”

Chittaphon cut him off. “Yeah, I know. But everybody is looking, so you either get a room or stop.”

“Rooms are just for a second time.” You shrugged and Jaehyun smiled.

“You won.” Chittaphon said, taking out of his back pocket the money he owned and gave to the blond boy. “And you are fire, girl.” He laughed.

You chuckled. “Should I thank you?”

“It was a compliment.” Chittaphon assured.

Jaehyun hit him in the back and turned to you. “Can we go upstairs, just for a second?”

“I am not sleep—”

“I am not sleeping with you either.” He said. “I just need to say something.”

You looked at him, trying to read Jaehyun and be sure he wasn’t just joking. He had a serious expression on his face and as Chittaphon had already walked all the way back to the dance floor, you thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea leave that crowded environment. Because you just exposed yourself, it was indeed a good idea.

You nodded and Jaehyun smiled. Before following him, you looked around to find the only and one soul you were interested in see suffering: Youngho. The boy was gazing you, angrily. And instead of getting upset about it, you were pleased.

Your feet hurt because you were not very familiar with heels, and walking up and down wasn’t helping either. You had kept your steps in the same speed as Jaehyun was moving, but at some point you just had to anchor yourself in some bathroom door and throw the pair of shoes away. You literally had opened the basket with rubbish and send it right inside; after all you didn’t want them back to your feet anyway. Only then you’d grasped how tired you were, so you sat down on top of the toilet bowl and sighed. Who cares if Jaehyun had to talk to you? You were exhausted.

He showed up on the entryway of the toilet. “You should just use flip-flops.”

“I wish I could.” You shrugged. “But the society’s beauty padrones just won’t let me.”

He closed the door and locked it. “Here.” Jaehyun handed your part of the money. “A deal is a deal.”

You held the cash. “I thought you were bluffing.”

“I never bluff.” He assured you. Jaehyun sat on the sink and ran his eyes over the small space. “Feeling claustrophobic?”

You denied with your head. “I like staying here, away from the crowd.”

“Do you bother if I stay with you?” He politely asked and you laughed; again the amazing sound of authentic euphoria.

“We just kissed in front of the entire University.” You pointed out. “I don’t really bother with your presence.”

“Good.” It was the last thing he said before the silence hovered.

At first you had felt claustrophobic, but that was before the blond haired boy entered and killed you few seconds of solitude. It was, actually, a cubicle. You were sitting apart from Jaehyun, but you still felt your bodies so close due to the restricted space. You gave it another look and concluded you’d be much more comfortable inside the bathtub.

Laying down you tried to make yourself comfy even though the material of the object was stiff and cold. You stared at the ceiling and permitted your imagination to run wild, wondering what would have happened if you hadn’t dated Seo Youngho, if you had said no to Jaehyun and if you hadn’t ignored your sixth sent about what course you should major in. So many decisions to make and none of them seemed real; so many decisions made and none of them seemed correct. You sighed, feeling the angst corroding your organs. Why would you think about such things? In your mind you should just sleep over there and go back home in the morning. Your thoughts had been cut off when Jaehyun came closer.

“I am tired too.” He said and sat down by the bathtub’s border.

“I bet.” You smiled sarcastically.

He turned his body to you. “I assure you don’t want to bet things with me.”

You imitated his facial expression. “I assure you don’t want to bet things with me.”

Jaehyun laughed. Now was your turn to feel the vibration of his laugh, feel how melodic it sounded. He placed a hand over your exposed cheek and gently massaged it. Again, the sensation was warm and pleasurable. You began to think if every girl he hooked up was the same thing, the same attention, the same furore.

He appeared to notice doubt pairing in the ar. “I’ve been looking for an opportunity to talk to you.” The boy said.

“And why is that?” You, somehow, managed to say.

“I found you amusing.” He confessed. Jaehyun was looking to your lips, making it clear he desired them.

“This is what you wanted to say?” The question came out strict. Jaehyun nodded and you took his hand off you. “I am a friendly person. We could have been friends earlier.”

He sat up. “I know, right?” You felt some nervousness on his voice. “But I wanted to give your part of the money without Chittaphon’s presence; he could argue with me, you know?

“Well, I assume he could.  Anyway” you stood up. “I should leave.”

Jaehyun suddenly hesitated; his eyes glued on your form and: “Honestly, I didn’t care about the money or the bet at all. I just wanted to stay with you a bit, because since I first saw you I knew I was already into you.” He said fast, the blond boy followed you out of the bathtub, cautiously examining your movements and anticipating your actions.

No answer came from your mouth, however. You stretched your body, moving your head to the right and to the left and arching your backs as much as you could in an attempt to relieve the stress from your muscles. It’s clear that a pair of eyes kept staring your form, analysing all you were doing and waiting for a concrete reply, though you still had remained in silence.

Withal, something burnt inside your chest and an excruciating ache ran through your bones—similar to an abstinence crisis. It’d been obvious to you what you needed, but you were too much stubborn to admit it; in any circumstance you would become one of those people who just have fun inside a bathroom while sustaining your lust. And you’d felt the stiffness in the air as you and he wonder the same thing and contemplated the same option. There was nothing really plausible to justify the tension between you and Jung Jaehyun; two strangers completely attracted to each other, with no reason behind that if not your physical necessities. You needed him and he needed you, but none of you could actually find an explanation or a motive.

You’d turned your body, so you could face Jaehyun. His gaze was so deep and intense, you felt your persona melting under his eyes and the new supplement of adrenalin already filling your veins and possessing your organs. He needn’t an answer, you concluded, because his hands reached your shoulders and pushed your figure against the bathroom’s door, squeezing your physique contra his. For a moment you forgot how to breathe, the lack of oxygen making you feel dizzy. The boy smirked; he was starting to feel satisfied with the reactions you provided on him. He wanted you, and you wanted him; with no hesitation he approached and picked your lips once and twice before diving into the real kiss.

Your mouths moved in the same velocity, perfectly matching the intensity of the moment. You’d allowed him to go further; the boy knew your body better than you did, his hands correctly touching parts of you that seemed hidden until that moment. His lips ventured into your skin, leaving your mouth —consequently causing you to softly moan some nonsense—and landing on your jawline; affectionately he sucked the area between you collarbones and your neck, clearly marking you down with large hickeys. You had been unaware of it, but Jaehyun wanted everyone else to know that you had someone to pleasure you and you no longer needed the ex-boyfriend of yours (and he’d never nominate your ex because it’s nearly toxic).

Your fingertips clumsily tangled within his hair strands, utterly messing his hairdo. All the same, he had his hands contouring your boundaries, just like you were a piece of art and he was the artist. The path of his kisses would go from your cheeks to your neck, and then from your collarbones to the exposed skin of your breasts; he passionately rubbed his lips on your body, making you shiver and quiver a bit from head to toes. The boy embraced you and lifted your body, gently placing you down on top of the sink causing your legs to wrap around his torso digging him closer, and closer.  Jaehyun had pulled up your shirt exposing just a little bit of your figure; he clutched your back and slightly ran his nails on it, scratching your skin and certainly giving temporary blemishes as a present.

Suddenly he had frozen up and glared at you. His eyes locked with yours as he asked for permission; you giggled, not even believing he’d be so polite about it.

He smiled. “Shit, you’re so pretty.”

Words weren’t able to come out of your, although. Jaehyun kissed you once again but this time much more fervently, holding you tightly and then—when your bodies were already close enough, with no space between you—pressing parts of your inner thighs causing your entire figure to quiver in desire. He caressed your legs, exploring all parts of them and soon reached the fabric of your underwear. Jaehyun played with it, pulling it and dragging the undergarment down and up while his lips were still attached to yours. You wanted to protest, tell him to give you what you wanted, but the provocation was too electrifying to be stopped.

You had to make things even so one of your hands left his neck, dropped to his jeans and searched for his member. Your small palm moved up and down, massaging his cock above his pants and you felt his breath become heavier. You’d done nothing and he was already hard under your touch.

Both of you maintained the movements for a while until Jaehyun slightly pushed part of your panties, holding it glued on your groin and then slid his index finger inside you. Interim his finger motioned in and out of your sex his thumb would rub your clitoris interchanging the speed of his actions. You’d moaned, he grinned. Another finger was added and his motions would constantly variate, sometimes reaching your sweet spot, sometimes just stimulating a possible orgasm.

“Fuck.” Was the only word that came out from you; the endless groans stuck on your throat craving for a release.

“You have to say it.” The blond boy whispered on your ear and kissed your neck.

A snort of pleasure left your lips and you gathered as much air as you could and: “I have to or you need to hear?”

Your words amidst heavy breaths sounded like melody to his ears. “I need to” he distanced himself from you and calmly watched your frustrated expression “because I want you. But do you want me?”

There were uncountable manners to respond to his question, but you found a very literal way to do it. You took your lingerie off of you, threw it on the ground and opened your legs. “Isn’t it obvious?” You crocked you head.

He denied. “I don’t think so.”  

You sighed. “Well, sweetheart, I want you.”

Forthwith, he unzipped his jeans letting them fall to his feet and stripped the black underpants down. Jaehyun latched onto you and eagerly connected your lips one more time; you, notwithstanding, held his cock between your palms and moved them forward and backward, masturbating him. The pre-cum dripped out from his tip and seeped on your fingers; Jaehyun whined—the fact that you were only inciting him, making his member throb, was not enough. He roughly took your hands off of it and placed them on his shoulders. He wanted a break because that small pleasure wasn’t what he really needed. To say the least: he wanted to extinguish the last drop of stamina on his body. With this on his mind, he had directly slid two fingers inside your core, moving them fast and rhythmically, causing you to moan and cry out his name in a desperate attempt to free your satisfaction.

With one hand still free, Jaehyun glided under your shirt. His touch was soft, but you could certainly say he was hungry for something else – and soon he gripped one of your breasts, variating the pressure of his hold. You’d cursed and it sounded so marvellous to him; dirty words leaving you lips turned him on more than he’d ever imagined. He accelerated his moves, making you twitch under his triggering. However, with a sudden movement, he stepped back, breathless, and stared at you. Again, you felt utterly irked with his unexpected action.

“I need” he attempted to say, trying to control his unusual gasp “I…”

You cut him off. “Jesus Christ, just fuck me.”

He smirks, glad you said first. “Don’t ask twice.”

Jaehyun slotted himself in between your legs, causing you to spread them wide open for him. He’d lined his body perfectly with your own and slowly – still doing his best to provoke you – pushed in until his hips were completely flushed with yours.

“Holy shit,” you said, completely glee.

He shoved in and out, feeling your walls compressing his cock while the pleasure amidst you two only grew bigger. Jaehyun placed his arms around your waist and pulled you closer, putting your body on the edge of the sink—and like this, being completely able to harshly thrust into you. His pelvis moved up and down, filling your womanhood and then stimulating your G-spot, allowing you to sense the greatest of all delights.

“Fuck, this is so good” you whispered.

Your chest blew in enjoyment, like you had hundreds of fireworks exploding and colouring the precious darkness of your aura. You felt just like a blossom that flourish in spring, or the first snowflake that falls from the sky in a winter night. It’s indeed the best sensation and words could never describe it perfectly.

The boy patiently had waited for you to recover from the first orgasm, moving very softly so he wouldn’t overstimulate you yet. When you’re ready again, he squeezed your ass and increased the rhythm of his momentum. You let you mouth touch the skin of his neck and sucked some spots, leaving the same hickeys he left on you moments before; you bit his earlobe and pulled his hair softly, making a small grin leave his mouth. Jaehyun responded your little incitement by touching your clit whilst his member was still inside you, boosting the speed of his flow.

“I am so close, shit.” He cried out, clutching even deeper on your skin. “You are so fucking good.”

He regretted, though, of not feeling your taste on his mouth and not allowing he to sense how wonderful it’d be the scene of his cock inside your mouth, while you sucked it.  Being able to have you, no matter if just for a moment, was already astonishing to him. He didn’t lie, he really felt attracted to you, but sexual pleasure is something out of the boundaries and he’d always need more and more of it – and of you. The boy found you stunning—not only beautiful, but stunning at all; everything about you was so fascinating, and that’s why he felt the urge to be with you.

And even though you didn’t feel that at first, from now on you definitely would.

You’d moved your body up and down a little, so the blond boy could dig himself deeper inside you. Also, you knew he was close to the ultimate apogee and with the best of your skills you stimulated him to the boundaries—by kissing his neck, whispering on his year and moving your pelvis frenetically.

As one, you came undone together.

Jaehyun let his head fall down on your shoulder, resting it while he tried to recover some air. You’d embraced him, allowing yourself to breath in his scent so you could keep it in your memory for a while. He separated himself from you, wore his underpants and jeans back and handed your undergarment that was on the ground; you put the lingerie on and waited till the boy placed you down again, finally standing up. You stretched again, now your bones produced a low sound of cracking.

You glanced to the sink you were previously sitting on. “How did I fit here?”

“It looks tiny, but actually isn’t.” Jaehyun shrugged and unlocked the bathroom’s door. “By the way, we could’ve done this in my room; it’s in the end of the corridor anyway.”

You tilted your head. “What do you mean?”

“I live here,” he pointed out. “I am part of this fraternity.”

“Oh,” you whispered; the small drop of remorse growing inside your chest. Your gaze dropped down to your feet and Jaehyun noticed an odd aura around you.

“Are you already regretting?” He asked with a refreshing voice tone. You looked back at him.

“It’s not actually like that,” you breathed deep “I am not very familiar with… hooking up like this.”

He laughed; the melodious sound reaching your eardrums and inundating your hearing. “Don’t be like this,” Jaehyun hugged you; his arms surrounded your form completely “I wasn’t that bad and neither were you. Also, I’ve had my eyes on your for some time now; you’re a beautiful girl and I may even fall for you.”

“Don’t be gross.” You shrugged him off. “Jaehyun, why are you acting so sweet? I mean” you pointed a finger to his face “you are known for being extremely selfish, aren’t you?”

“I am not selfish, I am ambitious.” He said and you chuckled. “And I am not acting sweet, darling; I am just treating you how you should be treated.”

Then you stared at each other. It was a long, intense glare like it’d be the last time you’d see his face and he’d see yours. His words floated in the air for a second before you absorbed them inside your intellect; though it was hard to ingest such a sugary sentence. You shivered, afraid of a possible sudden confession—and oh, how you wished he’d kept his thoughts inside his head, because after a moment of complete desire, all you could feel was the imminent fear of falling in love again.

“Can you spend the night?” He asked, innocently.

You managed to hide your surprise by giving him a dulcet smile. “I am tired, I should go home.”

“I don’t mean we should repeat what just happened,” he came closer and kissed your forehead “I wanted to just sleep with you.”

“This is so odd, you know” you pouted “We just fucked and you want to sleep with me?”

“Let’s say spend the night.” He points and then: “And you said ‘rooms are just for a second time’.”

Before you could answer, Jaehyun took you in his arms in bridal style and ran throughout the hallway with you holding onto him for dear life. He managed to open one door and entered the room; the blond boy closed the entryway with one foot, put you on top of the mattress and suspended his body on top of you by placing his hands by your side. His lips picked yours ninth times before he kissed you soft and passionately. You closed your eyes, already aware it’d not be just cuddle and sleep, and allowed yourself to ignore the sixth sense inside your soul—telling you to stop— burning like a huge flame and enjoy the moment once again. Jaehyun aroused sentiments in you that no one ever did, not even Youngho, and you didn’t feel like letting that sensation go away—not in that exact moment.

For the night, you had the time of your life twice.  

—

You found very incorrect to call it sneaking out.

In your terms, you wrote a small note for Jaehyun containing your phone number and went back to your dorm at four o’clock in the morning. That was not sneaking out, that was leaving him sleep peacefully while you were fulfilled with complaint and guilt.

At least it sounded less terrible inside your mind.

Your best friend slapped the table making everyone inside the cafeteria to look at both of you. “You slept with him.”

You smiled shyly. “Yes, but that does not mean—”

“You cannot just leave him,” she yelled and raised her arms, trying to show how bothered she was with the situation “because he didn’t leave you.”

“He didn’t leave me,” you pouted “because we were at his room, at his fraternity.”

And you had your conscience pretty clean; after all you promptly gave Jaehyun your number—even though you deep wished he would neither call nor text you. The girl in front of you just rolled her eyes; she’d been trying to convince you to go back and tell him any sort of excuse to why you left without a plausible explanation, but it’s so much in vain. You’d not go back; you’d not give a justification for you actions.

Actually, you’d had enough of apologies for a while.  

It’s not the fact that he did you wrong or even had taken you for granted that made you consciously stand up and leave part of his bed empty; to say the least, you were truly afraid.

People spill out empty words and grow meaningless feelings, not always being fully aware of the poison it all can create. You’d been there; you’d felt it entirely—when Youngho broke up with you, when you were left alone crying your sorrows into the void. When Jaehyun gave you the tiny hand of comfort, you felt good; when he offered you the complete graciousness, you took two steps back. How could you possibly trust someone you did not even know properly? The fact that you spent the night with him was nothing, not to you. It’d not been enough to persuade you to open yourself from the bottom of your heart.

Because when you first did it, all you had was pain.

“…answer it? It’s buzzing. And it annoys me.” Your best friend’s voice came out to your perception.

“I am sorry, I was just daydreaming.” You said; your voice low. The mobile phone buzzed again, telling you a message had arrived and you’d not seen it. You held it in your palm and unlocked the screen, soon you opened the message’s app and then, by the words you were reading, surprise reached out to you.

[UNKNOWN] 2:16 PM: You could’ve waited for me, we could’ve had breakfast together.

Your eyes widened and your heart ponded faster. Although the number wasn’t on your contacts list, you knew who it was. Jaehyun did text you and now you had to answer. What a great moment, you thought, considering your friend’s gaze examining you and trying to read your expression. She smiled and said

“It’s is him, isn’t it?”

You ignored her and rapidly typed some letters and sent him a reply, not bothering if he would text back or not­—because you’d be ignoring him for the rest of your life.

[YOU] 2:18 PM: I am sorry, I just felt like leaving earlier. I didn’t mean to make you mad. Sorry.

Your friend wheezed and sarcastically smiled at you. She stood up, still maintaining her eyes locked with your figure, and gathered her notebook and phone on top of the table. You did not realise she was leaving until she whistled and then waved a hand. You sighed; finally you were left alone with your thoughts and complex sentiments.

But before you could pack and go away too, your phone vibrated. An answer had come.

[UNKNOWN] 2:22 PM: Yeah, it’s fine. But I did not joke with you yesterday, I like you and I’d love to go out with you sometime. Like, just me and you and maybe a movie?

You swallowed your saliva like it was acid; it burning your throat so hard that you thought you were dying. You stared at your mobile, reading and re-reading the words written there for long five minutes, and then you locked the screen again and left the coffee shop.

Yes, it was so rude of you to just pretend Jaehyun didn’t exist but also yes, you were too much frightened by the flame inside your heart, ponding it and ponding it faster. You knew it was not correct, and you really wanted to just go running to him and confess what was happening to you and to your thoughts, yet it was also so embarrassing to feel what you felt, to want what you wanted.

Few were the things you’d familiarity when it came to Jung Jaehyun. The main point was that he’s a classmate, and that both of you had a magnetic attraction—you needed each other like a living being needs oxygen to live—however, you’d no idea if his words were really sincere. Or maybe you desired them to be just a joke between new-born friends.

If you even could nominate your relationship as friendship.

Suddenly your body clashed with someone else’s and all of the papers that once were resting on your hands now were flying throughout the wind. You puffed and looked to the person in front of you.

“Hey, pay attention—” you words dissipated as soon as you saw the pair of eyes in front of you.

He puffed back, imitating you. “Those weren’t important, were they?”

You cleared you throat. “It’s actually none of your business.”

Jaehyun laughed. “Will you just ignore me?”

“I am not. I just answered you.”

He sighed. “I am talking about the message I just sent you.”

You blink once and then twice, not sure of how you could put everything that had come to your mind into words. But the peculiar appearance; his presence out of the blue… That was much more intriguing to you.

You put a hand on your waist and pointed a finger to his face. “How did you know I was here?”

“I told you,” he smiled and the pair of dimples showed up “I’ve interest on you and a friend of mine told me you and your bestie love this cafeteria.” He shrugged.

“Yuta should keep his mouth shut.” You pouted, already scheming on your mind on how would you reprehend Nakamoto Yuta for telling people what you liked or disliked.

“He was just helping a needy man.” He blinked one eye. “And you did not answer me.”

You pondered and pondered, but there was nothing much to be said if not the truth. You filled your lungs with a great amount of air before you said “I am not ready for feelings. I’ve been deep hurt and I need time.”

Jaehyun gave you a weak smile. “I see.”

“I know you don’t like me that much.”

“You know nothing, sweetie.” He said.

And then silent hovered for a moment, caused by your rough words. You expected him to just turn his back and leave, but he did not. Jaehyun kept staring at you, his mouth still drawn in a tiny grin while your spirit was collapsing inside your persona. You wanted him to say something, anything, even hurtful phrases if necessary. The silence was killing you, piece by piece.

Jaehyun shrugged and looked away. “I’ll give you a week.”

“What?”

“I’ll give you a week,” he repeated himself “so you’ll have enough time to organize your feelings and giving me space to show how much of a boyfriend material I can be.”

You giggled. “Don’t be”

“Gross, I know” he completed your sentence “I won’t even look at you for the next week—and trust me this will be very, very hard.”

You were ready to respond, but Jaehyun’s words kept coming out from his mouth.

“It’s hard for me to be apart from you,” he pointed to your feet and then pointed to his own. “This space between us is killing me.”

“So what?” You inquired when he finally gave you the opportunity to speak. “What happens after this week?”

“I’ll text you.” He said.

As before, he was nothing like you thought. You’d been constantly closed for the world for a long time, only being able to pleasure yourself with success—not even your friends would manage to make you smile so hard compared to when you were the first at a subject. The #1 on a sheet was enough for you.

Until you’d met Jaehyun.

You watched him leave with no other words added. He didn’t gave you any other sign, and you were still slightly unsure of his true wishes, but despite all of that something bigger and stronger flew through your veins. Jaehyun vanished in the crowd and soon you had your eyes on nothing but the wind. You smiled, your phone buzzed.

[UNKNOWN] 2:47 PM: (This is the last one today, I swear) Don’t forget, I’ll text you within a week, so be prepared for the greatest boyfriend material: me.

You laughed loudly, the genuine happiness reaching out for you.