Evil Schmitty Land

Sparky FIRED Bobby from Dallas (also FIRED)   Okay….that matter taken care of. This is old news by now, mind. But better old news than none at all I suppose. Sparky got the axe on January 6th after the Potters trudging defeat by League 2 side Coventry City. So another Chelsea legend gone. Earlier in the year (sort of) on April 17th Sparky’s teammate and Chelsea legend Gianfranco Zola voluntarily…

What Is David Moyes Up To These Days, And Why….?

This Is What It’s Come To, Again….   When we last checked in on David Moyes, he’d been appointed manager of Manchester United at the behest and recommendation on  of Sir (Lord) Alex Ferguson who was retiring after 26 years on the clock. Moyes was the former manager of Everton, and as I mentioned, was to be Fergie’s hand-picked successor. He was Premier League Manager Of The Month for November…

Who The Hell Is Davide Zappacosta

Zappa Costa Zappacosta   It shouldn’t have been so surprising to me, so confounding….but given my circumstances, it was more than understandable that I would have had no idea whatsoever who Davide Zappacosta was and why he was playing for Chelsea. I perhaps should mention that I should have had no idea who or what Chelsea was because given my circumstances, I had no business being alive, let…

The Championship Years 2017-18, part 2: All The Comforts Of Home

Norwich City 1      Sunderland 3   On Sunday, the Black Cats of newly relegated Sunderland strode onto the pitch and from the off, they felt right at home. They played well….okay….they played well enough to win. Yes, they had only 35% possession, but….they made it count. They played the match with all the comforts of home. Only thing missing were the fans as the 49,000 seat Stadium of Light in…

Transmissions From The Representative From AMTRAK 8

Amtrak 8 will be arriving on YOUR planet shortly!!   I’ve pored through my photo archives and it dawned on me that I really have almost no pictures of Amtrak 7, the Empire Builder from Chicago to Seattle. Almost all my Empire Builder pictures are of the eastbound Amtrak 8. It’s most likely down to the timing and wher along the CP mainline I happened to be at the time. The two photos I open this…

The Championship Years 2017-18, part 1

Coming Soon to a Premier League Near You…   I’m gripped by this feeling that the new football season in England is starting a week early. I might be imagining it, but I’m NOT imagining this huge rough hand gripping me by the scruff of the neck and hauling me sorry ass to my Adler J5 typewriter to get on with all the predictions that are sure to go wrong. Last year around this time, because…

The NEWEST New NASCAR Math EVER!!!!

I promise to keep it simple…but….   The NASCAR 2017 season is upon us like a comet about to hit the Earth. The Advance Auto Parts Clash at Daytona is this Saturday and the Daytona 500 qualifying for the front row is this Sunday afternoon. So I’m getting on with it. But there is a lot of new madness that the NASCAR 2017 season is throwing at us. A new sponsor for the series is one. But that pales…

“We could get Keith Urban, Radio Birdman, and that Nick Cave guy to do the halftime show at the Australian Grand Prix….”   There’s been a changing of guard at the top of Formula 1 that has been years in the making and should have happened years ago. But Bernie Ecclestone clung on for 40 years, until now. He is finally out the door at last and his perpetually constipated hard bowel movement scowl…

If I Had A Mind

If I had mind to, I’d tear that fucking statue down and send it back to France….   A mind, they say, is a terrible thing to waste. But sometimes, in my case anyway, I’m not so sure. A mind can be very much like time and money. Money shines more brightly when it’s wasted. So does time. And I’m figuring that in my case, anyway, so does my mind. And evidently I have not been wasting it enough by…

Prolegomenon To Any Future Blog Post

Business As Usual??  I’m not so sure….   I’ve always resisted the typical end-of-year backward glances; top 23 lists of crap, movies, music that I hate; reminiscences; resolutions; and other typical forms of dull tedious shite. I have at other times engaged in some form of egregious introspection, but not at this time of the year—at least not not willfully. So expect none of that now, once again.…

Trump University 29      Wellesley College 23   Well that one’s a final. Trump somehow wins on a last minute touchdown AT THE DEATH!![note]English soccer slang alert!! Take a DRINK!! No…take TWO drinks!! Take more in fact! Just like when y’all are voting, it’s bast to drink early and drink often…[/note] No time left on the clock….they might line up for a field goal or a 2 point conversion…

It’s Talladega, Baby!! Fall 2016 Bee Gees Edition

It’s TALLADEGA, Baby!! And you know what THAT means…!!   NOW I ask y’all straight off….is that not THE BEST FUCKING BEE GEES PICTURE of All Time?? You absolutely KNOW it is. Onward. As for what Talladega means….well….we all know that the #1 search term that finds this little online sadness diary that is more that 15 years old is….wait for it…….TITS AT TALLADEGA. Yes. That. It will never be a…

The Championship Years, Part 2

Nicklas Bendtner eating a yogurt.   “It’s been awhile mate, yes?’ he said. I’m approximating his inflection ofcourse, since his actual speech would be more of a Danish accent, but what the fock….it’s all for review and information purposes only so it gets the job done. Onward. “Yes…well….hmmmm.” My reply was simply a matter of fact acknowledgement on my divergence and xxxxx and all that dross…

The Old Farm Derby

The Tractor Boys 1      Norwich City 1   I would be remiss if I didn’t write a post that takes more than its share of digs at Ipswich Town, aka The Tractor Boys. I was originally going to include this take in my previous post, but decided it needed its own moment in the sun. The East Anglian Derby, or The Old Farm Derby as I and many other prefer to call it, is perhaps the most hotly contested…

I know EVERYTHING about English Premier League Fantasy Football — You just wait and see!!   Well….all I know is that some bleedin’ gob has started Zlatan, Agüero, and Middlesbrough’s Christian Stuani in his starting lineup today and to that bleedin’ gob I say, “Fuck you!” I also know that my EPL Fantasy Football team, Pendarvis AFC is getting off to it’s title defense ((yes, I won my league last…

Amtrak Southern — The Rail Strike & Relegation Edition

Southern Serves The South;  AMTRAK saves England!   As the Premier League 2016-17 season begins and I start my annual parade[note]Heyyyy!! Everyone loves a parade, right??[/note] of at least 20 predictions sure to go wrong, there is a big rail strike going on in England. Southern Railway, which provides vital commuter and rail services to south London and its suburbs is out on strike over work…

Back In The Good Old Days   Clint Dempsey’s final match for Fulham vs Newcastle United was a remarkable affair for both himself and The Cottagers. Fulham gave the Magpies a sound 5-2 thrashing as Clint Dempsey became the first American to ever get a hat trick in the Premier League. And instead of smacking crackers into Row Z, Bobby Zamora assisted in all three of Dempsey’s goals, along with…