♡

I locked in at the gym and tracked my macros for like half a week and as soon as my period comes around & the scale goes up, I’m triggered again. I just want to fast - it’s so much easier than busting my åss on the treadmill for an hour every day. I’m hovering right around 180 and it’s been taunting me…

I’ve been trying to eat well but it feels so bad having things in my stomach… it’s triggering me even more. I already feel bloated enough from my period; I just want to feel empty again. The first day of spring is in 5 days and I’m nowhere near ready to show my body. I’m running out of time.

Goals:

Monday: 182

Tuesday: 181

Wednesday: 179

Thursday: 177

Friday: 175

Saturday: 173

The last time they both saw me, I was ~170 lbs. If I can stick to my fast I should end up around 166-168. That’s still not small enough to wear any of the clothes I have though :/ I’m going to have to get a new sweater or two to hide my body the best I can.

Technically I broke my fast yesterday with a clementine and a spoonful of Nutella. But somehow I still lost weight?

I feel like I’m still in the same headspace so it shouldn’t be too hard to ignore temptation at work. I just stay busy, come home and lock myself away, blame it on lots of homework. No one’s really noticed the change in eating habits, or the weight loss for that matter 🥲

Goals:

Tuesday: 178

Wednesday: 176

Thursday: 173

Friday: 171