#archived

        it’s been a long night, something that was likely clear in kerry’s eyes. exhausted,  he takes a seat in front of the other; hands resting flat on the table. he almost doesn’t register what was asked; lost in his repetitive thoughts of the  ‘ dreams ’  he had last night.  

               Johnny had known there was SOMETHING wrong with Kerry, simply because he knew Kerry better than anyone else. Sure he’d been close with the rest of the band, but Kerry was it. Kerry had been his magnet, what kept him around as long as he had stayed. Kerry had been his best friend. “Yeah, ya could, but I know ya can talk an’ drink at tha same time, Ker. So lay it out on tha fuckin’ table.” Johnny looked down at his hands for a moment, then back up to his friend with a raised brow and waiting for him to go on.

                      it wasn’t something he was proud of,  but kerry considers telling johnny to fuck off,  that it was none of his business and that kerry could handle this himself; that he didn’t need johnny inserting himself in his life when he knows he doesn’t care. that would have been easier than to think there was now someone who was holding him accountable for his actions, someone who would make sure that he wouldn’t do something stupid and wind up dead.  it was scary, having someone care as much as johnny seemed to.  it didn’t even have to be a lot, just knowing he’d let the guy down if he were to disappear.. it scared him. but, drinking helped, and he opened a bottle of beer to drown out his nerves.   

   It’s superhuman, their response to Kerry’s cry for help. The cry wasn’t loud. Wasn’t a scream. Wasn’t pained. Wasn’t the first cry in Kerry’s life. It was simple. As easy as a text to V’s phone. Very easy, yet Vale knew that text was probably hell to send. The constant temptations to not send anything. To just delete the message and be quiet. But Kerry didn’t do that. Sent them a message. Said he was in a bad place. Vale got the text at midnight and they were replying at 12:01 in the damn morning to let Kerry know they were on their way. They went as fast as they could, hopping on Jackie’s motorcycle and they bobbed and weaved between cars and off-road and whatever got them to Kerry’s place fastest. As soon as they were in the driveway, they parked the Arch and raced inside to find Kerry on the couch. Thankfully, nothing had happened. Vale had arrived, just in time.

   It didn’t take long for Vale to get nestled up next to Kerry, keeping his attention on them. They gently reached out for his hand, reassuring him that they were here. They were here and they weren’t going anywhere. They’d stay right by his side, no matter how long he needed them. In the moments of quiet in that villa, Vale filled them with jokes and stories and questions. Positive stuff. Things to remind Kerry that he wasn’t alone. Hell, when Vale was really desperate, they tried to sing along to some of Kerry’s songs. Hum that…little riff from the yacht. Something soft. Something they knew could help!

   The hours marched on, minutes turned to hours, hours to even more, and yet they both stayed awake. Up until when Kerry started to doze off, and Vale took matters into their own adorable hands. Gently, they picked up the Rocker and carried him all the way upstairs and into bed. When Vale laid him down, they sunk down into the bed with him, curled up around him and enjoying these soft moments they had, even in the face of something scary, something bleak. Their voice was soft, plush, filled with love and warmth as they whispered to Kerry.

   “Not gonna leave anytime soon, Kerr. Not now. Always gonna be by your side. No other place I’d rather be.”

            the text that kerry had sent out wasn’t his first draft.  or his second,  or his third, honestly. he didn’t want the burden of his own self hatred to be set on v;  he knew he had a problem,  that he was a drunk,  depressed,  suicidal and washed up.  anything that he made now wasn’t half as real or raw as the shit he used to make when he wasn’t so fucking alone. vale has been changing that.  slowly,  at first -- with the thought of johnny being back and being able to prove to himself that he could do this all without him.  but eventually v also showed him how he could stand on his own feet - make a name for himself without johnny in the picture.  and the kid was sweet, kind, funny, compassionate, and they somehow had found it within themselves to care for kerry. 

            so,  when he does eventually send out the text saying he wasn’t in a great headspace, they tell him that they’d be there soon. which wasn’t a lie,  kerry didn’t have to spend much time alone at all before vale was by his side. they didn’t even ask what the matter was,  instead he comforted kerry, made jokes, sang songs, made him laugh until his sides hurt. it was nice. 

            for a moment, after he wakes,  he thought it may have all been a dream. a version of the night that his mind desperately yearns for,  but instead,   he finds v practically in his arms, fast asleep, mumbling in their sleep.  it makes his heart ache, or,  perhaps that was the effect of a morning after drinking as much as kerry had.  regardless, v had stayed. it wasn’t their obligation, kerry had insisted last night that he’d be fine if v wanted to head back home and call it a night. but they stayed.