✨️ 🏍 ☀️ 🍼

Everytime you had a chance to go see Raul race brought mix feelings to you, not because you didn't adore seeing him race, but because if it was hard enough for you to not suffer a heart attack while just sitting on your couch, it was even worse when you had to go see him to the hospital.

It wasn't like you didn't trust Raul, that would never be it, if someone ever asked you always said that you considered him one of the top 5 riders on the grid, and he had been showing it lately, which made you extra proud.

But today looked like the plan was different. Today it was his day.

He did one of the best races you had ever seen from him, the bike was in his favor the whole time and you couldn't be happier. You recalled seeing him on the podium, live, a couple of times now, but it was a breathtaking experience every time you got to see him this happy.

The second stand had his name since a couple of laps ago, he tried to reach his teammate of course, but he was doing an equally amazing race, so he didn't get a real chance.

Sounds exploded around you the moment the two Trackhouse's riders crossed the finish line, the garage ready to celebrate until they were exhausted even more the two boys.

You swore Raul's screams were audible from the parc fermé, he jumped onto the few engineers that got there first, he just couldn't contain his excitement and wait for everyone to get there as normal riders tend to do, but what was the best thing about Raul, he was just different, he was more.

Next to him his teammate Ai was trying to have a conversation with his race engineer, but you didn't know what was making more difficult, if the constant pads from the rest of the team, that kept interrupting his broken English, or the fact that Raul was jumping around him and bumping on him from time to time.

Raul's arms pulled you closer to him the moment you were about to ask his teammate if he was alright. A mix of sweat and leather going into your nostrils as he started rumbling about how he and Ai did an amazing race and how they did it.

You were sure that if you left him, Raul could have been talking for hours about the things he did good and the things he could've done better to finish in the position that his teammate earned but, thank god, because as much as you loved him you weren't sure you could survive through one of his talks right now, the two boys were called to get on the podium.

The joke about Ai acting like he didn't even want to be there became more funny when he practically ran away from the champagne shower that Raul and Marc were trying to give him.

Ai literally ran to the end of the podium to throw his bottle at the time just so he could be out of there, waving with a shy smile at the crowd before going down with the team, as if it was much calmer there.

Even if you never exchanged more than a hello with the Japanese rider, Raul did talk about him, a lot, because even though he was "the shyest and quietest person he has ever know", which to be fair was something he said about every shy person he met, but he also described the boy as one of his favorite teammates, after all he was respectful, kinda and always willing to listen to everyone.

Those were the things that everyone seemed to adore about the boy, so even if he wasn't the more extroverted person ever, he was sure to make his job done and to leave everyone happy with it.

Their dynamic continued in the garage, Raul celebrating as if he has won himself the race and Ai trying to keep everything as relaxed as possible.

Of course that wasn't possible around, not with a team who matched perfectly the enthusiasm of their younger rider, so while champagne was flying and spraying everyone, Ai was trying his best to stay as dry as possible.

That was how he found his way behind you, maybe it wasn't the smartest move to make someone he barely talked to protect him, but what he did know was that Raul respect you enough to not make you mad.

He had witnessed plenty of times how the Spaniard would run away from you to not get "hit" when he did a playful prank on you, he saw how Raul always made sure to have you by his side when you came to see him or how you were the first person he would talk to after a race, it didn't matter if he brought a good or a bad result.

So if he was behind you that meant that Raul would have to spray you first, which wasn't the best option if he didn't want his mom to call him later to scold him after she saw the live back at home.

"Come on, leave the poor boy alone" You chuckled noticing the body of the older rider curled up behind you, even if he was already soaking from the podium.

Your hand went to the arm of the boy behind you for a second, as if Raul needed visual confirmation that you were referring to Ai and not to some random boy around all of you.

Gladly that gesture had the effect that both of you expected, because the Spaniard, after some grumbling and complaining decided to let it be. And adding the fact that one of the engineer decided to start a champagne war with him, he ended up forgetting about you two.

"Thank you" The voice behind you was very quite, and the noise of the team made it even more difficult to hear it.

"It's alright, Raul can be too much sometimes" You laughed it off.

"He is nice… I just don't want to get… sticky?" He was trying to find the perfect words so you could understand the best way possible.

"I get you, I would rather drink champagne, not shower with it" Ai laughed, and you were pretty sure that it wasn't just the first time hearing it, but also the first time you heard a noise that adorable.

"I need a shower" He looked down at himself and wrinkled his nose and the sight he had in that moment "And you too" It was your time to look at yourself, which gave you a similar view, clothes soaked in champagne

"Yeah, Raul likes to hug a lot, and I can't say no to him" You laughed at your own words, because you were sure that it wasn't even necessary to say that, everyone could just watch and they would notice it.

Ai looked back at you while nodding, Raul always talked about interesting adventures that you two do, but you didn't look like the type of being that impulsive.

"You should go back to your motorhome, I'm sure they can keep themselves entertained while you're away"

"You can go too, I'm sure Raul will understand" The boy replied, you looked at the other Trackhouse rider who was very busy singing aloud to one of his favorite songs, so you figured if would be alright if you left a bit earlier as long as you warned him with a quick message.

A text appeared on the screen of his phone for him to read whenever he finished his celebration, you just told him that you would be waiting in his motorhome after taking a long shower to make sure that he knew where to find you.

Raul appeared on his rv a couple of hours later, still in his leathers and with that tired but satisfied smile. He threw himself next to you on the couch.

"Where are we going tonight?" He could never had enough, and of course he deserved to go out, get drunk and dance until his feet fell off if that's how he wanted to celebrate his win, but you didn't think you could survive that night.

"Hm, I don't really know to be honest" You replied playing with your fingers before covering your mouth when a yawn threaten to fall from it.

"You don't look very excited" Raul turned to face you as he frowned, you could see the new damp stop on the couch.

"I'm just tired, but I want to celebrate with you" When that reassuring smile appeared on your lips he was close to believe you, but the way your eyes almost closed every few seconds didn't help your case.

"Yeah sure…" He knew that even if he tried to convince you to not go, you would never let him go alone after a performance like that "But wear something comfortable, like those pants you like"

You nodded at his words, that would be the best show if you just wanted to fall asleep after a long night out without having to change clothes.

"I'm going to take a shower"

That was his way of telling you that you could just change there while he was trapped in the bathroom, so that's exactly what you did, going back to the couch as soon as you were done getting ready.

Raul only came out to take his clothes, with a towel around his waist while you watched your show in your phone, the fact that you weren't charging it only fed up the idea that you didn't want to get out of there tonight.

"What do you think about this?" He hold up the outfit he was planning to wear that night.

"You'd look amazing, I love it" Your phone rested turned on, glowing the top of your chest with your attention on him.

"Okay great, thank you!"

He ran into the bathroom once again, going straight to his phone as soon as he closed the door behind. Raul sat on the toilet seat before scrolling down in his contacts looking for his teammates'.

Aiii, I need a small favor Pleaseeee

As the boy waited for an answer he started to put on the shirt you just had approved a few seconds earlier, but when that little ding came from his phone, he left it unbuttoned to put his plan to work.

what do you need?

can you be out of your motorhome in 10 minutes?

i don't want to party thank you

it's not for that i know you don't like it it's for y/n pleaseee

y/n? sure i guess

youre the best!!

"You okay in there?" Your voice through the door made him throw his phone to the floor, luckily motogp riders tented to come with great reflexes.

"Mhm? I mean, yeah, I'm almost out!" He had put on everything was fast as he could, which ended up with his shirt's buttons getting mixed up, his fly being down and one of his shoes being undo.

You couldn't help but let out a laugh at the view you had in that moment, it was like seeing the future Raul from the end of the night.

"I'd have given you more time if you'd have told me you needed it" It was your way of telling him that he looked like shit, and he knew your technics already "Give me like 5 minutes more, can you wait outside for my… engineer?"

"Sure, don't take too long"

He watched you leave the motorhome, and by the time that the clock showed he knew that Ai wouldn't take too long to appear, he was very punctual.

Only a few minutes passed while you waited outside when the door of one of the others motorhome opened, and it only took you a few second to recognize who it was, even if he looked much comfortable right now.

"Hello" You didn't know that he was going to come up at you, but you would never say no to a conversation.

"Hi, hope you're less sticky now" Ai nodded as he chuckled

"I am, thank you. Is Raul here?" Your gaze went down to his outfit, trying to figure out if he was asking because he was going out with all of you or if it was a work thing.

"He's inside, getting ready for later"

The way he wrinkled his nose at the minimum thought made it very clear that he coming was even an option, what you perhaps demonstrated all too obviously by the way you pursed your lips.

"Shame, though I can't blame you, I don't even know if I'm going to survive tonight" Of course it was meant to be a joke, or at least you tried to tell yourself that, but the way your whole body hurt was talking by itself.

"Then why are you going? You should rest"

"I can't do that to Raul, he deserve a good celebration"

Something click in Ai's mind, and even if you asked him, he was sure he wouldn't be able to tell you what was it, because the moment Raul joined you two he spoke up.

"If I ask you on a… date, can you stay instead of going out?" Maybe he wanted Raul to hear that question, maybe he was asking for his permission in a way.

Raul smiled widened when he heard his teammate's words, to be honest that wasn't his main idea, but a part of him was so sure that Ai would try helping you if he found out you were tired, after all you did him a favor earlier, and he always paid back everything.

"Wow, what did I miss? You'd rather celebrate with the champion instead of me? Auch" He leaned dramatically on your shoulder. You opened your mouth to speak up again, to tell him that he heard wrong, but he interrupted you first "I would do that too, I get it. Please use protection, I'm too young and pretty to be an uncle"

"Raul!"

"Okay sorry" The Spaniard stepped back laughing after you had hit him a couple of times "But seriously, I have to get going, so I better not receive any complains"

The boy kissed your cheek and gave a bit pad to Ai before sprinting away, he didn't want to give any of you a chance to say anything else.

A silence settle between you too for a few seconds, before the other boy's voice appeared once again.

"We can watch a movie…?"

"Okay but it's a date, if not I can't stay" You walked pass him with a smile, noticing the blush on his cheeks, because he swore that you would've forgotten his words.

Ai intermediately went to open the door for you, and the moment you stepped in you could see everything you've noticed about him reflected in his motorhome. It was extremely tidy, and not many personal things were on display.

What was for everyone to see was a bowl of popcorn and the fluffiest blanket you had ever seen.

"Make yourself comfortable" You nodded and sat on the side that looked more empty of the couch, just to make sure you wouldn't bother him in his personal space. "I don't bite"

He didn't gave you any option before putting the blanket over you too, after all you were wearing a sleeveless shirt, and the heating wasn't the best in the paddock.

"You don't need t-"

"This is very big, we can stay, the two of us" He smiled before offering you the bowl with that shy cute smile.

If anyone asked, neither of you could've explained the plot of the movie that was working more as background noise. The conversation ran smoothly between you two, he always knew what to say and when don't say anything.

"I don't think I've thanked you yet" The credits of the movie started running when you talked again "Really, you saved me"

"It's not problem, I had fun" He shook his head, and he was very glad that his body decided to act against his brain.

"We should do this again"

You changed your posture again, sitting on your knees and turning his body to him while you leaned on the sofa backrest.

"Do you come to see Raul a lot?"

"As much as I try, I wish I could do it more honestly" You studied and you worked, which left you with less that zero free time for yourself, even if you always tried to change that.

"You live in Madrid too?" You nodded at the boy's words "Raul always told me to visit the city, maybe I could go on the summer"

"Oh you don't need to- I wouldn't ask for something like that" You had to do the effort for everyone else, if not, it didn't feel fair for you "It's fine really"

"But I want to" He didn't need to say more for you to know he was serious, he would never lie about something that simple "You're really nice to be with, and I like to travel"

"You're adorable really"

Something in you didn't want to leave, but you didn't want to push what was going on between you two, it was too pretty to be ruined for a whim. So you looked at the clock that was on top on the TV.

"I should get going, you need to sleep, you have a flight tomorrow right?"

Ai nodded softly, his eyes never leaving your face, as if you would disappeared if he would.

"You too?"

"Mhm"

You were never one to think about some kind of things, so you just leaned in a pressed your lips on his cheek before quickly getting up.

"Good night Ai"

The door closed behind you before he even had the chance to reply or ask you to stay, even if both of you knew he would never do that, but the thought was enough to satisfy something in you two.

"Good night y/n" He mumbled to himself, his fingertips lingering in the same spot where your lips were a few seconds ago.

🔎 Shuichi Saihara - definitely a little! knowing the amount of stress he's been put through in AND out of the killing game. It suits him really well! He'd be reallyyyy sensitive and emotional. Kaede would mostly take care of him, but Kaito or Maki would help out sometimes too!

🎹 Kaede Akamatsu - She's a cg! Primarily she takes care of sweet lil Shuichi and is really gentle and understanding with him, but sometiiimes she cares for Kokichi. She's one of the only ones who can handle his antics AND make him feel loved. She's Kokichis favorite!

🚀 Kaito Momota - Definitely a cg for Maki and Shuichi! He's a very lenient caregiver and basically lets the littles do whatever they want, which gets him in trouble with Kaede sometimes hehe. He isn't very experienced in this field and he's still learning, but he just wants his sidekick and his Maki Roll to be happy.

🔪 Maki Harukawa - Believe it or not, I think shes a little. Or, at the very least she deserves to be. Poor girl didn't have the most ideal childhood and Kaito is willing to help her make up for it! Little Maki is very quiet and sweet buuuut she can be adamant about what she wants. She's also not very good with sharing Kaito with Shuichi T-T

🐛 Gonta Gokuhara - Actually I believe Gonta actually regresses canonically! I don't have the exact chapter on me at the moment, but in the manga he regresses into a baby in Maki's arms! (For comedy reasons, but still) Just a fun little fact hehe. Anyways, I don't think he'd be all that much different from what he's usually like. Just a little guy who loves bugs!

🧹 Kirumi Toujou - I don't think this will surprise anyone but she's a cg! She takes care of any of the littles. She's very kind and motherly so I think she'd be really lovely as a caregiver. BUUUT I also like the idea of her being a little SOMETIMES. Constantly performing tasks for people can be very stressful, she totally needs to unwind after it all!

🪄 Himiko Yumeno - Surprisingly, I don't think she'd be a full on cg or a little. She doesn't seem like the type to be either of em. I do think she'd perform little magic shows for the kiddos though! She might offer to be their "personal entertainer" or something lolz

💡 Miu Iruma - I would like her as a cg, but at the same time I don't know if I trust her around children 😭😭 Maybe she'd be a little since on her report card it says she enjoys children's television! She'd definitely be a little brat that's for sure haha

🎲 Kokichi Ouma - LITTLE!!! I am actually very passionate about this! He feels a lot more childish in some trials than he usually is sometimes hehe..He's very little coded to me. Insisting Kirumi be his mama, his whole concept being a child's perception of a supreme leader, his childish nature and behavior, his drawings, i love him! Kirumi is his main cg, but Shuichi ATTEMPTS to care for him sometimes hehe

🤖 Kiibo - I actually am not sure about Kiibo..i've read fics where he was little but I'm not sure how well that fits?? He's also a robot so that's super confusing?? Just to avoid all kinds of questions, he's a babysitter! He's really fond of little Shuichi but he avoids Kokichi 😭 oh and if Miu WAS a little, he'd be her cg!

🎾 Ryoma Hoshi - I think he'd be a nice babysitter as well! Maybe not a fulltime cg cuz I doubt that's really his area of expertise. Unlike Kiibo, I don't think he has a preference which little he's with! Kokichi miiight be a handful but Ryoma can handle it! Maki is his favorite, though. I think their energies match well. He's pretty laidback, but also responsible.

🍃 Rantaro Amami - Maybe he'd make a nice caregiver! He's got a bunch of sisters hehe. I do think he'd mostly care for Kokichi, though. I can see them getting really close, especially since Kokichi seemed to take a liking to Rantaro. I wish we got to see more of them in the game :(( don't worry though I'll write lots of platonic oumami soon :p

The crowd erupted mid match, it usually happened to celebrate a goal, to cheer on the players that were in the field playing to make their country proud, but never to shut them off, never to insult someone of the team you were rooting for.

Until he came into the picture.

Ferran knew he wasn't the best from his team, he didn't have a problem admitting it, but he got the chance to represent his country in a world cup, so of course he took every chance he could to try to prove himself, not just to his team and his coach, but to the fans too.

He used to think they were supposed to have his back, because even if he missed, even if the ball didn't enter the goal, he was helpful enough to his teammates and to their strategies. But that wasn't close to what he was expected to do, and people started to tell him so.

At first it was only a couple of comments under his posts, something he would scroll past because he was used to some people not liking him, that was part of the life of dedicating yourself to a sport. But then DMs were added to the mix, it was easy to ignore when there were only a couple, and some of them were even funny… Until the threats to him and his loved ones started.

The Spaniard blamed it on that first missed goal, it'll pass, he had told to himself, because he was sure he would score a goal, it was just a matter of time, after all he had scored many goals while playing in the Barcelona, why would this be any different?

His team never missed a day where they told him that sometimes it's not worth it to listen to the fans, they loved the team, of course, but most of them don't know what it was like to be one facing their rivals, having to be the one who score.

You also told him so every day, because he tried hard, he never made it about himself, he turned it into him failing the team, which was the stupidest thing you have ever heard, specially coming from someone like him, it didn't make sense.

Despite the team's efforts something shifted inside of Ferran's mind, the bubbly, funny and outgoing guy disappeared every time he stepped out of the court when the training came to an end, because he would never let "his dramas" influence the rest, but he also felt that he didn't deserve to feel satisfied after a long training session if he wasn't able to show it in a match.

His shoulders dropped down as he dried his hair with the first towel he found in the locker room, he sat while the rest of the boys chatted about the team and their impression of the next match, his mind going back to the little world he created for himself.

Pedri tried to talk to him, he tried to ask him to go out with them, to just take a break from all the training he had been doing these past days even when they were supposed to be resting.

"I can't, I have stuff to do" Even the way he smiled was different, it usually went up to his eyes, making them to narrow, but it hadn't happened in a while.

"Come on, it can't be that important, we can go eat one of those burgers you like"

That was usually all it took, food was a common love language in the sport, spending a "cheat meal" together was a way of showing that even outside the routine they liked to spend time with each other, you honestly found it adorable.

So watching him reject that offer, an offer coming from one of his best friends of the team, set off all your alarms.

"Okay bro, text if you end up coming" He gave him a quick pat on the shoulder before the younger boy heard someone else calling him over, making the locker room finally empty just for him.

You had been in your office this whole time, making some notes on the little notebook that you always carried with you on the practices. How they trained and worked inside of a game was important, but that was nothing if they lost their spark, if something about them changed, because that would change their game.

It was important to create something safe for them, so you had one rule, if they were mad because of anything, they came into your office to scream at the wall or talk or do whatever they needed, but if you ever saw a drop of it outside your office, they weren't training that day.

You didn't teach that football.

Ferran got up, ready to go to his hotel to either train in his room or in the hotel's gym, but you weren't going to let him walk around with that dark cloud over his head.

"Number seven" Calling them by their numbers stared as a joke, you were used to associate certain number with your last players, so that was your way of training yourself, but they ended up loving it, because now using captain on you made perfect sense.

The boy tried to make it look like he didn't hear you, like he was in a rush and had to leave as soon as possible, even if he had already stayed longer than the usual.

"Ferran, I need to talk to you"

He stopped in his tracks, you only used name inside of the field, where things had to be formal and everyone could hear you.

"Yeah?" He turned around but never walked closer to you, he could see and hear you perfectly from where he was, after all your door was wide open, but the distance gave him enough confidence that you couldn't see through him if you couldn't reach him.

"Can you come in? I don't want to scream just to talk with you" Your tone was gentle, it was always like that when you noticed someone having a bad day.

"Do I need to?"

The way you looked at him was more than enough to answer him, it wasn't threatening or warning, but the way the intense colour of your gaze pierce his eyes was too much for him to think about saying no.

You leaned on your desk as you waited for him, when you had this kind of talks you wanted to be on the same level as them, because even though you were their superior after the last beep of your whistle you could also be their friend, so you were expecting to have a conversation standing up.

But Ferran couldn't do that, he couldn't put himself at your level, he wasn't even close to be as good of a player as you were when you played, so he decided to sit down, instinctively making himself smaller than you.

It wasn't the first time you saw that, it was one of the few times that it came from a man but still, it always squeezed your heart in a way that you couldn't explain without sounding a bit too dramatic for anyone's opinion.

"What's up with you? You've been different" You already knew everything of course, Gavi came a few days earlier pointing it out as part of one of his usual rambles, he came into your office with one after every match or training, it brought a different perspective, but the fact that he was the third boy to talk about it made it clear that you weren't the only one seeing things.

"Mhm? No, I've been trying hard on the practices, I even go to the gym every day right after."

Maybe you had started to notice it too, he would never blame you, of course, you were one of the best coaches he had ever had, and he would understand it if you would need to put him aside for the team to work better.

Was he really working as hard as he thought? Or maybe he was just having pity on himself and nothing of what he was doing was actually useful.

"I know you do, I'm not talking about your performance Fer" His shoulders relaxed immediately once you were back to using a nickname, maybe you weren't mad at him, maybe you were just disappointed.

He looked up at you, those deer eyes trying to figure out what you were going to say next, because even if the biggest part of him was going to agree and accept any critic from you, there was something inside of him that wanted to prove himself to you.

For a second he stopped seeing you, well, at least the real you, because all he could imagine was you repeating over and over all the things he had been reading these past days, and you figured out something was wrong again when his jaw tensed and his body straightened again.

"You've been doing amazing these past days" Your hand went to give him a little squeeze on the shoulder, a soft way of reminding him that you were still there.

"Thank you" His words came more like a mumble, his eyes flying to his own lap. Why were you lying to him? Did he really look that pathetic and his own coach had to cheer him up by lying to his face? Fucking hell.

"Hey, eyes on me." Now he felt a little tap on his chin, that was the first time you had used it on him, it was usually reserved for when the younger boys were too distracted while you spoke.

But he did as you told him, it was the bare minimum he could do considering that you were putting up with him.

"Tell me what's going on, I can't help if you don't talk to me"

"Everything is fine" He couldn't be more of a burden, all the athletes suffered from mean comments, so he had to suck it up, because what if he decided to tell you and they ended up opening your eyes? He wouldn't survive it.

"Don't do that, don't lie to me"

The boy tried to keep his gaze on yours, but if he did so there was no way he could lie to you, that he could just smile and brush it off, and he couldn't understand why. He already told his friends some bullshit about training or his family, so why couldn't he do the same with you?

"I'm just tired and nervous" It should've just ended there, with you understanding his position and telling him that he should go back to the hotel and rest, maybe he would even get an 'I'm always here if you need to talk'.

But no, you had to be able to read him like an open book.

You crouched down in front of him just right after you got up from your chair, practically putting yourself in between his legs, his eyes following your every move; he didn't want to have to hear another order from you, because he knew he'd obey it, and if you kept insisting, he wouldn't be able to help but end up telling you everything.

"You sure?" He just nodded, speaking up wasn't even an option at this point, because none pushed this hard before, so he never had to stop his thoughts this much in front of anyone, so he didn't know how long he could keep it to himself.

Trying to get something out of him was not going to work, and if you tried too much maybe he'd close completely and that was the last thing you wanted to happen.

Ferran watched you get up, probably to go back to your chair right behind your desk, but a part of him wanted to keep you close, he needed it, so he did something his mind doesn't remember thinking of.

His hand grabbed you leg, the grip was tight enough to ask for you to stay but not too much for it to hurt you in any way. He probably should've grabbed your hand, or even your wrist, but nothing like that came to mind when all he could think of was about the possibility of you leaving.

"Why do you keep me on the team? Why don't you listen to them and just put me in the bench?"

That was all it took, a question coming out of his mouth in a shaky voice that could break anyone's heart.

Of course you didn't want it to end like this, but now he trusted you and you were going to make sure that the fall didn't hurt. Your attention were back to him, quickly going back to put yourself at his level. His hand was still on you, but that was the least of your concerns.

"What kind of stupid question is that? You're an amazing player"

There wasn't a pinch of dishonesty in your voice, just a deep worry and a need to make sure he felt worth it before he stepped out of your office. You placed your hand on his cheek, just to give him a brief caress.

"No- Don't lie to me, please" Every word had even more troubles coming out of him "Not you, I don't need pity."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"Because I look shitty, and pathetic" He mumbled, his eyes trying to escape yours once again, because admitting that while looking at you, felt too shameful.

Something changed in your expression, it went from soft to something more firm, and if he was looking at you he would've noticed it in a instant, because normally you were calm and sweet, but it sometimes wasn't how they needed to hear the things to believe them.

"Do you trust me? Do you think I've done any good to you as a player or a person?" He nodded, because if he dared to say anything else he would feel like the biggest liar in the world.

You didn't say anything, you needed him to look at you while you said this next words, but this time you gave him the chance to take the initiative and do it by himself.

And he did it, reluctantly at first as if he had to watch everything he did so he wouldn't mess up what was going on, as if the wrong move or word could pull you away from him in a instant.

"Then why I would I have any fucking reason to lie? Why would I keep a player in field if I think he wasn't as important as the rest?" Now it wasn't just about him, you know how much he respected you as a coach, so maybe if you made it look like he was criticising you choices he would connect the dots.

"You feel bad for me"

"Oh you wish, that's not the kind of coach I am, you know that, of course I adore you, all of you, but the game is more important" You could see the tears forming in his eyes, but the sensation was different this time "And if I think you're important to the game, you're staying in it"

Ferran opened his mouth, and for a fraction of second you thought he was going to speak up and to try telling you, again, that you were wrong, but then he did something unexpected. He just hugged you, his face hiding in the crook of your neck.

"It's alright, I got you" You caressed his back, glad he was letting all out, and that pressure he had been feeling these past days suddenly disappeared, even if it was only for the seconds you decided to hug him.

He was never someone to speak up, no when he had been told all his life that he should suck it up and deal with it in his own, and god, he swore he tried, he tried too hard to not be weak, to not let it get under his skin, but he couldn't keep up with it.

"I'm sorry" Ferran didn't know how but he was sure that you just made a face at his words.

"Don't be stupid, you're not robots" You kissed his temple, a very gentle gesture instead of the little pushes you gave him when you wanted to tell them off. "Plus it's not like I specifically didn't tell you guys that I was always here if you needed to talk"

"But-"

"No buts" He shut up as soon as he heard yours words, so you pulled back to be able to look at his eyes once again. "I mean everything I say, I hoped you've learned it by now"

You whipped off his tears with a tissue of the box that was always resting on top of your desk for this kind of situation which you always welcomed.

"Next time please don't make me interrogate you, I'm not sure how legal it is for me to do that"

Ferran let out a chuckle, his face was still slightly wet from a few seconds ago, but seeing his mouth curve like that was all you needed to count this whole interaction as a win.

"I won't tell a soul, I promise" He noticed how his hand was still on you, how you didn't take it away and how it just felt right to it to be there.

"You're doing amazing, I mean it, they don't know shit" You got up so he had to let go, his hand closing around the air where you used to be, but he didn't have right to say anything about it, not when nothing good would come out of this.

"Thank you"

The way it sounded was nothing like the one when he just stepped inside of your office practically under your threat.

"That's why I'm here, don't forget it next time, okay?" He was still looking up at you from the chair, so he nodded again.

"Yes Mister"

A part of him wanted to stay, to keep the conversation going just in case he could get something different out of it, but the other side told him not to push it, to give it time, to let himself and you get used to what he was feeling.

The boy got up while you went back to your desk, he took a deep breath and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, a platonic gesture that couldn't have second intentions, but for him did.

"See you tomorrow coach"

"I'll see you tomorrow Fer" You smiled as he saw him leave the office.

Your eyes went down to your notebook, where you crossed Ferran's name, one person down to help the team, that was your favourite part of this work after all.