warning: I have no warnings for this. It's sfw. Unless kissing counts ig.
synopsis: Your secret relationship with rising star Seonghyeon is exposed, when your relationship is already on the brink of falling apart. So when you both pour your heart out on an angry confession to each other, do you both still pull it through?
pairing: Idol!Seonghyeon x Non Idol!Reader
tropes: established relationship, secret relationship, lots and lots of angst and angry confessions.
author's note: Focused on the lyrics "You got work, I got work" for this one...idk if it makes sense. ALSO PROFESSIONAL SITUATIONSHIP PARAGRAPH WRITER RIGHT HERE I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO SMTH WITH ANGRY CONFESSIONS!!! here you go.
Seonghyeon stares at his screen, his eyes hovering over your text. His thumbs tap on his screen, typing out his response.
My schedule is packed today
It wasn't a lie. He was packed with practice and an interview later. Due to his busy schedule, he could rarely make time to see you. He often flew from one country to another. And you were a normal girl, unlike him. A student. Plenty of time on your hand except for when you had classes.
Seonghyeon knew his relationship was falling apart. The only communication you both had was on the phone, and that too for an hour everyday. How could he make time for you? dating this early in his career, if exposed, could be fatal to his new found stardom.
And so the many reasons he gave himself on why he couldn't see you. And how he never dared to utter these words to you. To break your heart. To be the asshole and do you the favour of not wasting your time with him.
Seonghyeon sighs, his thumbs hovering over his screen, unable to form an answer that would make you any less angry than you already were.
“Seonghyeon" he hears his name being called out. “Yeah?" the brown haired boy responds. “Come out! It's time for the shoot" he hears Martin yell from outside his trailer. He types out a hasty response to you.
We will talk about this, I promise.
He had to set you loose, he knew it. But he didn't have the courage for it. He could not imagine waking up one day knowing you weren't his to call. Never to see you again. To get used to the habit of not being with you. The best he could do was try, try till you gave up on him yourself. Got tired of him.
As he is about to leave his trailer, he hears his phone ding with a notification from you.
Of course, the same as usual.
"What is the name of the cortis group chat?” The interviewer asks the boys. "Friends” Seonghyeon responds, smiling as a puppy pulls on his jeans. Martin spreads his arms to gesture a rainbow above his head and repeats “Friends".
A figure rushing in the room catches his attention. It's the manager. He is catching his breath when he stops in front of them. “It's an emergency" he urges. The boys get up from their previous seats. “What happened?” Martin, the leader, gets up from his old sitting position.
“Seonghyeon got his relationship exposed”
Seonghyeon paces around the men’s bathroom. His steps frantic as he types out desperate messages to you
Are there people outside your house?
Please respond to me so I know you are safe.
The door to the men’s room opens to reveal Martin. “You have to come, now" he says. Seonghyeon looks up at his friend, “Now?" he asks. “Y/n is here too. The board thought it the best to take immediate actions right now” Martin informs the frantic brunette in front of him.
Seonghyeon halts, “Fuck" he mutters under his breath as he exists the washroom and hurries off. He practically runs to the 3rd floor, desperate to get there as fast as he can.
His breathing stops for a moment when he sees you sitting inside the board room, your hands clasped on your lap as you look down. He makes his way to you. "Y/N” he says your name and you turn to look at him.
When he opens his arms to embrace you, you don't hesitate and wrap your arms around him. For a moment, you both stay like that, just to let the weight of it all settle.
“I was so worried. Why didn't you respond to my texts?" he asks, his hand on the back of your head.
"I turned my phone off,” you tell him. "I kept getting calls”. Seonghyeon wraps his arms around you again. “I am so sorry for getting you in this mess".
The sound of someone clearing their throat breaks your embrace off. "We need to make a decision on what to do about this situation” A man says.
Soon enough, the board room fills with men and women in formal attire. They all take their respective seats around the table. You sit beside Seonghyeon, his hand holding yours under the table.
The conversations on the table pass you like the whirl of a wind. Their mouths move, but make no sense. You hear Seonghyeon talk, interrupting their speech, but the words don't make sense in your head. Your gaze stays fixed on the contact of his palm grazing yours, the feel of a ‘distant’ warmth.
Why the ‘distant’ warmth you ask? It was the way his hands were there to hold yours, to provide you the support in need and yet how it failed to achieve any of it. The thin layer separating his futile efforts and how hollow they felt to you. Someone who has gotten used to disappointment now.
His thumb moves in circles over the back of your hands, its tip slightly grazing over the matching ring he gave you. The sound of a pen clicking loudly against the table jerks you off your trance.
“Y/N" you hear your name being called. You jerk your head up, “Yes?" you ask. “We want to bury this as quickly as possible," the man sitting opposite you says.
Of course, it was going to happen.
"You will have to break up” you hear another woman on the table speak. "It's not gonna happen,” Seonghyeon says, his voice sharp.
You stand up, getting everyone's eyes on you. "I want to talk with Seonghyeon. Alone.” you announce. The man opposite you, who seemed the head of the board, pressed his lips together. “Sure" he says- “take your time."
Without another word, you get up and leave the room, with Seonghyeon following behind you. You hear his hurried foot steps behind you as you both earn looks from the staff in the building.
Seonghyeon grabs your hand and pulls you into a room. He closes the door behind him and turns to you. "I will fix this,” he tells you.
You scoff. "Fix this?” you ask in disbelief.
"Yeah, I will get all the things right. We can still be together” he tells you. Your mouth opens to talk, but words don't come out. You throw your hands up in exasperation.
"Fix? fix what? There is nothing to fix about us!” You exclaim.
"I know, baby, I know I have been failing to keep us together. But please, give me a chance to make this right” he tells you.
You shake your head in disbelief. "You know what? They were right. We should end it. I cannot do this with you”
"You don't mean that,” Seonghyeon says, his voice getting low at the end.
“This was never gonna work, hyeon" you tell him, your voice getting soft at the nickname you gave him, as tears form in your eyes. "But we kept trying, why can't we keep trying?” He asks, his voice laced with anger.
He takes steps closer to you as you take a few steps back. "I am sick of trying” the tears formed in your eyes are falling now.
"You rarely come to see me. You didn't text me back for weeks. I can not call you. I can not tell my friends about you. I can not post you, heck, even take pictures because what if someone just magically finds them in my phone! Everyday it was the same. You were never there for me when I needed you. Every time it was the same damn excuse. What is the point of loving you if I can never ever admit you are the man I fell in love with! And you know what? for a while I was fine. Fine with us being a secret if it meant I could still love you. But you haven't even left space for that. I cannot even admit that I love you without questioning where my love stands!” Your body shakes as you clasp your hand over your mouth. Your body breaks down in tears, unable to stand your ground.
Seonghyeon grabs your shoulders and holds you steady. “Please Y/N, hear me out” he says, his voice breaking as he fights back tears himself. He wipes the tears off your face with his hands and helps you sit on a chair. He crouches down to your knee level.
“Ever since that day I saw you, I knew I had to get you. To make you mine somehow. And I got so damn greedy. Convinced you for weeks to love me. I gave you a false impression of the efforts I promised you for when we will date. I convinced both you and myself, that if I try, If we try, we could make it work. If I forgot about how fragile my career was built, If I forgot about all the responsibilities binding me away from you, I could love you freely with no regrets. I knew. I knew I was hurting you with the way I was never there. I knew I had to let you go, live the life you deserve to live. But I couldn't muster up the courage for it. I could never let you go. I want to wake up everyday and smell you on my sheets. I want to return home everyday knowing your clothes would be in my closet. I want to fill my apartment with your things. I want to take our pet to the vet together with you. And gosh, if I met you any sooner, I would have pursued a job like any other man. A job that wouldn't forbid me from holding you.”
Tears stream down his face as he looks up at you. His hands desperately clasping yours in his hands. “I am so afraid of losing you. Because I could never replicate what I felt seeing you that day for another girl. I could never look into someone's eyes and know. Just fucking know every kind of assurance there could ever be provided ever!”
You grab his face with your hand and watch him melt into your touch. Red hues kiss the tip of his nose and his eyes glisten. The skin of his face is hot, just like yours.
You bow down to kiss him. Halting right when your lips touch, feeling his soft lips on yours. He pushes into the kiss, kissing you back hungrily, an attempt to fill his heart from within after he poured it all in front of you.
You taste his salty tears into the kiss, his mouth moving hastily against yours. You sink into the kiss as his hands grab yours that is resting on his face, desperate to keep holding it.
You break the kiss to wipe the tears from his face. “What can we do then, Hyeon? looks like all the odds are against us" you force a smile on your face as you say it.
"Never. I told you I will make it work” he tells you. "We will go back, and tell them I am leaving if they don't let us see each other again” he says.
"Don't be stupid!” you protest. "Don't throw away your career”.
"I don't give a damn. We go back and tell them that. It has got to work” He gets up, wiping his face with his hands.
You open your mouth to protest but he gestures to you to stop. “Trust in me, this once.”
It was nowhere in your plans to move to a new place in your late teens. Unfortunate, or fortunate enough, it cost you very less to do so. The company had agreed to let you both date, but under one condition. They bury the news for now and none of you utter a word of this relationship till he is further established in his career.
And on top of that? You had to sign an NDA. Your entire lifestyle has changed. You had to change schools, apartments, had to limit your public outings and lay as low as possible.
It was only for a few months, till all the rumours died down. Just a few months till you could live normally again. Seonghyeon was still busy like before. The only difference was that he came to you at the end of every day. He alternated between staying a few days at the dorm and spending a few at your place.
One day, when he came back home after practice, you told him, "My life could never go back to normal”.
"Then we make a new one” he had said.
Bullshit, you had thought. But you remembered what you had promised each other that day. To keep trying. Even though the weight of the consequences kept extinguishing the spark day by day, you still kept the hope of trying.
To stay low for a few more years till you both could go public again? Gosh, if only it could last till then. They knew what they were doing. And you wished you knew what you were getting yourself into.
After all, young love rarely lasts.
