you were right. no one can love me.
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@eternallyshit
you were right. no one can love me.

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i thought this year would be different.
i just wanted this year to be different. but here i am, bringing another year sobbing alone. why doesn’t it get easier? why doesn’t anyone CARE?
i just wanted it, so badly, to be different.
i just wish someone would say they fucking UNDERSTAND ME
i thought i could finally be happy i could finally feel what other people feel but stupid fucking me that’s not in store for me what’s in store for me it’s just suffering until i stop holding on for my mom and finally fucking kill myself
i could never be me with you and you still told me you were the only one that could ever care about me.
here i am, a year later, with the most wonderful human my cold heart has ever opened up to, talking in my goofy voice and still being showered with love and affection.
im actually me for once around someone i care so much about and i feel so happy and loved
and you can’t hurt me anymore

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six years —
still here. barely, but still here. crazy. six years. still in the same spot. still. when will i forget? when will it get easier?
stop fucking telling me you love me
it was all i needed every night you made me cry
all i needed was your love; to pull me into your arms and apologize for tearing me to fucking pieces. to kiss me and tell me i mattered more than them.
don’t tell me you love me now, when i’m broken, alone, and irreparable.
i wonder when i’ll stop crying over you.
when will it be your time that i can talk about you without tearing up? when will i stop thinking of how much happier id be if you loved me back? when will i stop wishing you had taken the time to care? when will i stop crying?
when will i stop fucking loving you????
wish i’d stop letting things go unsaid, but we know it means nothing anyway.
never fucking mind

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all offense if you use your mental illness to walk all over people you’re immature and absolutely toxic being mentally ill doesn’t mean you have to shit all over people that are constantly by your side and on your team
i’m honestly a little bit happy you decided to treat me only like garbage at the end. in the beginning, it was like 70/30 and i would hold on through everything and all the bullshit anger resentment screaming and insults for the 30% happiness but you changing into 100% not caring about me walking all over me not being nice to me calling me names not giving me the smallest bit of consideration not even FUCKING ME, made not having it so much easier
Sometimes I’m just sitting and then it suddenly hits me how fucking sad I am

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming